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All editors write headlines they dare not use. Put them here instead.

Heds will roll: Inappropriate but amusing headlines that never made it to print.
posted by the duck by the oboe on Mar 20, 2014 - 66 comments

 

Headlines Against Humanity

Which is the real link-baity headline? (real being a relative term these days...)
posted by oneswellfoop on Jan 8, 2014 - 23 comments

21 Cooking Tips That Will Kill Us All; Nintendo Steps Into Porn Biz...

... and other quality headlines by Headline Smasher.
posted by Foci for Analysis on Nov 30, 2013 - 55 comments

Our pet chimpanzee ruined my life, claims stepdaughter of French singer

"Soon, however, with the strength of eight men, Pépée became an uncontrollable tyrant who would strip guests – including once a government prefect and wife – of their clothes and valuables, bite others who failed to accede to its whims and once stole a baby, which it took to the roof despite Leo waving a toy pistol at it and shouting: "Daddy's not happy. Daddy's going to shoot."
posted by unSane on May 22, 2013 - 40 comments

What determines which New York Times headlines are italicized?

"There isn’t a style book for this stuff," Tom Bodkin, design director of the Times explains. "There’s no consistency."
posted by larrybob on May 3, 2013 - 9 comments

Every Year of the Twentieth Century, Lampooned by the Onion

The Onion's great for a witty skewering of current events. But its historical editions, as collected in the book Our Dumb Century, are a gem all their own, full of razor-sharp satire, trenchant social commentary, period-accurate advertisements, running gags, historical irony, photoshoppery, and even some editorial cartoons for every year of the twentieth century. Luckily for history (and humor) buffs, nearly the whole run of the series is available piecemeal on their website. Click inside for an organized timeline of links to all the front pages from this brilliant work (plus a bonus!). [more inside]
posted by Rhaomi on Oct 25, 2012 - 52 comments

News Redux

Digital news is broken. Actually, news itself is broken. Almost all news organizations have abandoned reporting in favor of editorial; have cultivated reader opinion in place of responsibility; and have traded ethical standards for misdirection and whatever consensus defines as forgivable. And this is before you even lay eyes on what passes for news design on a monitor or device screen these days. Suggestions for clarifying online news sites from Andy Rutledge. [more inside]
posted by netbros on Jul 18, 2011 - 20 comments

EXTRA! EXTRA! TODD SMELLS!

A collection of newspaper headlines from "The Simpsons" (SLYT)
posted by Hey Dean Yeager! on Jul 13, 2011 - 39 comments

funny newspaper goofs and weirdness

Criggo is a blog that posts amusing newspaper bloopers and oddities - bad headlines, poorly chosen pictures, strange advertisements, etc. The blog only has the past month's worth of posts, but it's archived in its entirety here. [more inside]
posted by flex on Mar 25, 2011 - 15 comments

I Don't Particularly Like To Read

F*ck Yeah Headlines! Each weekday Eric Wedum finds a headline on a major news site, and illustrates it without reading a word of the story.
posted by CrunchyFrog on Mar 9, 2011 - 29 comments

Wanted: Monkey annoyer. Must have own flying squirrel.

The most wonderful headline in the history of the world: Monkeys hate flying squirrels, report monkey-annoyance experts.
posted by scalefree on Aug 2, 2010 - 48 comments

Still Only Five Cents!

Frankenstein Defeats Evil Computer. Mysterious Grass-Roots Gal-Revolt Rocks Gotham! Are Hippies Slowing Down Space Progam in Protest? Headlines ripped from the pages of such great newspapers as the Daily Bugle and the Gotham Gazette await you at Dateline: Silver Age.
posted by gamera on Apr 30, 2010 - 16 comments

Erogenous headlines**

For those of you, like me, who giggle uncontrollably at Jay Leno's "Headlines" schtick (but cannot stand him or the rest of his show) here's the screenshot version*. You can also get a daily dose of News Fail on the web via Probably Bad News. And the Media Relations blog has a "funny-headlines" tag that's worth a few extra gaffaws**. [more inside]
posted by not_on_display on Nov 17, 2009 - 52 comments

Obama victory headlines.

Global Headlines. Yes, we've made history. Here is what it looked like, via the headlines of the newspapers around the world.
posted by HuronBob on Nov 8, 2008 - 39 comments

If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hutt, you'd probably short circuit.

Best headline ever. The AP lets it's geek flag fly in an article about high-wire artists crossing a river in Korea. [thanks kottke]
posted by Rock Steady on May 10, 2007 - 63 comments

"This week's news word is 'premature.'"

Uncle Jay Explains the News. Sit down and let Uncle Jay explain the current news headlines to your kids. (Not really.) Yes, it's YouTube, and yes, it's a one-link post. Don't let that blind you to the fact this guy is really quite funny.
posted by WCityMike on Feb 18, 2007 - 9 comments

At least it's not spandex.

The Corduroy Appreciation Club meets annually in New York on November 11, "because 11/11 is the date that most resembles corduroy." Pictures, as well as an interview with a corduroy fan who came all the way from the UK to the meeting.
posted by greatgefilte on Nov 15, 2006 - 23 comments

She can't put her jeans on safely

Multiple orgasms trap benefit cheat is one Times headline that I wish I had written myself. The story is so far as I can tell quite true; The Daily Mail has it too, under a much duller headline. On the other hand, it does have readers grumbling at the end: "The more benefit cheats they find - the better. I have two slipped discs, have to sleep sitting up and am entitled to, yes, you've guessed - nothing." writes one, as if Ms Byron were being subsidised for her orgasms.
posted by alloneword on Aug 24, 2006 - 17 comments

South Wales man in terror shock exclusive - pictures

Cardiff Terrifies Me. Daily news-stand headlines from that bastion of quality journalism, the South Wales Echo.
posted by nylon on Dec 11, 2005 - 28 comments

Misys gives Pecker head job

Headline of the year. Intentional pun?
posted by msacheson on Apr 14, 2004 - 21 comments

Newzoid: wacky headline generator.

Newzoid: wacky headline generator. I've been checking this site daily for at least a week now. It polls for online news headlines and does a simple "cut-up" which usually cracks me up like, "Tireless British Rocker, 50, To Be Auctioned," "Iraqis Fighting Back In Playground," "VH1 Vogue Is Dense, Demanding," "Listeria Outbreak Probably Enjoyed Off-Duty Time," "US Man Linked To Breast Cancer: Study"
posted by skallas on Oct 15, 2002 - 21 comments

Headline Haikus....

Headline Haikus.... Headlines as Haikus / Written by a computer / Robert Frost's corpse spins
posted by gsteff on Sep 2, 2002 - 8 comments

Agency Was to Crash Plane on 9/11

Agency Was to Crash Plane on 9/11 How weird is this??!?
posted by bas67 on Aug 22, 2002 - 8 comments

Alterslash

Alterslash takes all the hard work out of reading Slashdot. On a single page, it compiles the day's headlines, along with the top five rated comments on each, and graphs the signal % over time for each thread. Think of it as an automatic digest, showing just the best of Slashdot, each day.
posted by mathowie on Jan 25, 2002 - 15 comments

From the poorly chosen headlines department.

From the poorly chosen headlines department. I guess the Seattle Mariners need a better "reliever." (NYT link, you know the drill...)
posted by machaus on Oct 10, 2001 - 28 comments

Why the media has no credibility....

Why the media has no credibility.... Read the title, then read the caption under the picture. Sigh....
posted by BGM on Oct 3, 2001 - 27 comments

The Examiner spells it out.

The Examiner spells it out. As a newspaper page designer (for a much smaller, tamer paper), I wonder what you all think of the San Francisco Examiner's semi-profane but heartfelt front-page headline. On one hand, it's editorializing, but on the other, it expresses what an awful lot of people are thinking. I think I like it, but I also know it'd never get printed in a lot of papers, including my own.
posted by diddlegnome on Sep 13, 2001 - 23 comments

More google ???: phone/address listings (with a map right to your house!), and (useless) news headlines which contain search terms (some screenshots in case they are just testing).
posted by sylloge on Aug 23, 2001 - 13 comments

Bush Eager to Go on Vacation, Commune with Cows

Bush Eager to Go on Vacation, Commune with Cows
I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist this headline.
"I love to go walking out there, seeing the cows. Occasionally they talk to me, being the good listener that I am," Bush said.
posted by mapalm on Jul 27, 2001 - 25 comments

Headline Interruptus...

Headline Interruptus...
posted by quonsar on Mar 28, 2001 - 10 comments

"Model tax legislation under study"

"Model tax legislation under study" Another strange headline. Let's see; there's Elle, and Claudia, and... yep, they can sure afford to pay higher taxes with all they make.
posted by Steven Den Beste on Dec 17, 2000 - 1 comment

"Shinty Squad Probed!"

"Shinty Squad Probed!" Just found this headline amusing....
posted by grank on Dec 8, 2000 - 2 comments

"Dolly team creates designer chicks"

"Dolly team creates designer chicks" Another headline gone bad. Did the designers of Barbie start working on their own line of fashion clothes for young women?
posted by Steven Den Beste on Dec 5, 2000 - 3 comments

When headlines go bad : Missiles Hit West Bank Towns (Reuters) - Israel launched overnight missile strikes on five West Bank towns, killing a German resident, and Prime Minister Ehud Barak.
posted by tiaka on Nov 16, 2000 - 2 comments

"Chirac flatly denies posthumous graft charges"

"Chirac flatly denies posthumous graft charges" Yet another headline gone wrong. Before you read the article, see if you can figure out what they think they mean. I sure couldn't figure it out.

Chirac isn't dead, and what good is posthumous graft, anyway?
posted by Steven Den Beste on Sep 21, 2000 - 0 comments

"Hackers amass new zombie army."

"Hackers amass new zombie army." When headlines go bad, part IX. Courtesy of MSNBC.
posted by smackfu on Sep 15, 2000 - 5 comments

AOL Buys Quack.com That Enables Access with Voice

AOL Buys Quack.com That Enables Access with Voice   <— this is the worst headline I have ever seen.
posted by sylloge on Aug 31, 2000 - 4 comments

You've got to hand it to the British. First they create the world's most dangerous joke, and now they've created the world's deadliest exam. When headlines go bad.
posted by aaron on Aug 28, 2000 - 4 comments

To paraphrase George Carlin, don't you find it just a little strange that Linux Daily News is running stories about Dynamic Probes right next to stories about Brown Orifice?
posted by baylink on Aug 21, 2000 - 2 comments

This headline

This headline hasn't exactly gone *bad*... but it's starting to smell a little. [actually, I thought it was hilarious, though I couldn't quite tell you why.]
posted by baylink on Aug 21, 2000 - 5 comments

When Headlines Go... OVERT?

When Headlines Go... OVERT? (the surrealist headline generator strikes again)
posted by wendell on Aug 18, 2000 - 4 comments

When headlines...

When headlines... Those sadistic Russians.
posted by owillis on Aug 18, 2000 - 4 comments

When Headlines Go… HUH?!?!?

When Headlines Go… HUH?!?!?
"Clock Reset in French Yahoo Nazi Sales Battle"… Yes, there's a relevent story about web freedom in there somewhere, but the headline looks like output from the Surrealist Compliment Generator.
posted by wendell on Aug 11, 2000 - 2 comments

Great headline, incisive commentary.

Great headline, incisive commentary. The Welsh have all the luck.
posted by quonsar on Aug 6, 2000 - 2 comments

When Headlines Go Bad (and we mean it this time)

When Headlines Go Bad (and we mean it this time)
A suggestion of political causality?
posted by wendell on Aug 2, 2000 - 2 comments

When headlines go bad part N+1.

When headlines go bad part N+1. However, the article is as important as the misused title, so read on up. Go Aussie, Go!
posted by Neale on Jul 30, 2000 - 0 comments

When Headlines go wrong, part III

When Headlines go wrong, part III Do they know whose eyes they were?
posted by Outlawyr on Jul 27, 2000 - 7 comments

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