397 posts tagged with Love.
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Love is Dead.

If Kermit and Miss Piggy can't make it work, what hope do the rest of us have? [more inside]
posted by ApathyGirl on Aug 4, 2015 - 73 comments

Taking It Slow, Until She Took Charge

A delightful story of a 50-something couple, formerly single and living with their parents, who have found love.
posted by glaucon on Jul 29, 2015 - 9 comments

It was the spinsters who made me.

"Historically, spinsterhood has meant a kind of radical unavailability to straight men, implying either rejection of them or rejection by them or both. This sought or unsought rejection has the potential to be experienced by women as a source of strength. It can mean making the choice not just to set your own terms on the marriage or meat market, but to opt out of the market altogether." [Briallen Hopper for LA Review of Books: On Spinsters.] [more inside]
posted by divined by radio on Jul 15, 2015 - 8 comments

"When you change your inner voice, your entire world changes."

After seeing a young friend struggle with body image and depression, Florida-based photographer Natalie McCain was inspired to start the Honest Body Project, a series of portraits of mothers showing their beauty and imperfections to their children, paired with their stories in their own words. “My goal with this project is to help mothers everywhere learn to love their bodies and wear them proudly in front of their daughters,” McCain says. “Stop calling yourself fat. Stop shying away from being in photos. Stop body-shaming. Learn to love your body, and in turn, set a good example and start conversations with your children about how women really look.” A small number of images may be NSFW or triggering. Further details within. [more inside]
posted by zarq on Jul 7, 2015 - 7 comments

¡te queremos, Maria!

On Monday, at the 2015 American Library Association Annual Conference, actress and author Sonia Manzano announced her retirement from the cast of Sesame Street, where she has played the role of Maria for more than 40 years. [more inside]
posted by divined by radio on Jul 2, 2015 - 20 comments

You can learn a lot from a dog

In memory of Denali
posted by Johnny Wallflower on Jun 13, 2015 - 18 comments

A long story short: My mother is single, and she deserves a good man.

My gosh, Alex! What are you going to do with this?!?
posted by dancestoblue on May 12, 2015 - 12 comments

"May you always know you are loved," I whispered.

"It's completely alone," I said. That baby, that poor baby. What had it done? "Nobody is coming for it."

Softly she asked, "Would it be OK if we called it 'her'?"

It was then as though my therapist's finger grew very long. It arced through the air, crossing the space between us, and touched my chest, the tip of it pressing into my heart, and my body collapsed around it, folded in on itself from pain, the worst pain I had ever felt because it had no source. I was the pain. I saw that baby on her back, alone, and I understood that she was me. In that moment I was flooded—intellectually, emotionally, physically—by the very knowledge I had so long barricaded myself against: that someone had given birth to me. And worse: that I had not been fit to keep.
A meditation on adoption, heartbreak, and healing, by Sarah Church Baldwin for The Rumpus: Build-A-Bear.
posted by divined by radio on Apr 20, 2015 - 29 comments

every time he said "you look beautiful," all I heard is "you look fat"

If I had still been at my heaviest weight, I never would have approached Brian. As a fat woman, I have been taught that there is an order of operations for love: First, you get thin; then, you can date who you want. Until you do the first thing, the second thing is impossible. So for many women who struggle with their weight, it becomes a fight not just for their health or well-being, but a struggle to just be worthy of the love so many people take for granted.
The inimitable Kristin Chirico (previously) for BuzzFeed: My boyfriend loves fat women. As a fat woman myself, I'm still struggling with how I feel about it. [SLBF]
posted by divined by radio on Apr 8, 2015 - 54 comments

Exist Strategy vs. Exit Strategy

The oldest company in the world has been operated by the same family for more than 1300 years and 52 generations. Natasha Lampard looks at Nishiyama Onsen Keiunkan and wonders: "What if our 'exits' were bestowing upon someone you love, the thing you have created and crafted with love? What if, instead of focusing on exits, we focused on sticking around?"
posted by DarlingBri on Apr 2, 2015 - 23 comments

Everything that happened was for both of us a prehistory of our future

In 1910 and 1911, Anna Akhmatova and Amadeo Modigliani were in love. She was a then-unknown Russian poet who would return to Russia and struggle within the Soviet system before being widely acknowledged as one of Russia's great poets; he was a mercurial artist who would be dead within 10 years, but whose art would capture the imagination of future generations. [more inside]
posted by julen on Mar 26, 2015 - 15 comments

I'll eat you up, I love you so

Shortly after meeting my wife, she introduced me to the nuanced meaning that the Spanish word nervio had acquired in the lexicon of her family. As used in their Chilean home, the word could be defined as a feeling of such intense affection that one trembles or grits his teeth with restraint so as not to harm the object of his affection. I have heard others allude to the sensation in seemingly bizarre phrases such as, "It's so cute [that] I want to squeeze it to death." I often ask people about nervio. For those like me who have experienced it frequently throughout their lives, a complete definition is unnecessary and the word fills a void in their vocabulary. With others, my description is often greeted with bewilderment. Having never felt such a sensation, it is hard for them to imagine.
More? Tagalog's gigil, corporal cuddling, and some scientific insights into the "cute aggression" phenomenon
posted by Rhaomi on Feb 14, 2015 - 67 comments

An Ex Axe

"I love you" – WHAT A LIE! LIES, DAMN LIES! Yes, it's like that when you are young, naïve and in love. And you don't realize your boyfriend started dating you just because he wanted to take you to bed! I got this teddy bear for Valentine's. He survived on top of my closet in a plastic bag, because it wasn’t him who hurt me, but the idiot who left him behind.
-- "I love you" Teddy bear
2002 Zagreb, Croatia
"I love you" Teddy bear is one of the exhibits at The Museum of Broken Relationships. [more inside]
posted by Room 641-A on Feb 12, 2015 - 11 comments

So, um... Happy Valentines Day, I guess...

Put down the boom box: 28 romantic gestures from Film, Television and Music that are actually creepy (SingleLinkAVClub)
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI on Feb 11, 2015 - 105 comments

"I don't want you to hate me, and I don't want you to disown me."

Oklahoma. This was a place where Kathryn's workplace had a cussing jar, a quarter per swear, and the words written on it, “Let Go and Let God.” Here, Christianity was the religion — Tracy and Kathryn were believers — and Oklahoma football was the religion — Tracy and Kathryn were believers — and people could be decent and kind and judgmental, sometimes all at once, which was why, when Tracy told some Rotary Club friends that she and Kathryn were getting married, she kept her eyes planted above their heads so she wouldn't have to look at their faces.

posted by Rhaomi on Jan 24, 2015 - 70 comments

The trigonometry of relationsips. Who is responsible...?

Lusine's "Two Dots", illustrated by Britta Johnson.
posted by loquacious on Jan 19, 2015 - 8 comments

"discard anything that doesn’t spark joy"

De-cluttering your house with love: "Marie Kondo has built a huge following in her native Japan with her “KonMari” method of organizing and de-cluttering. Clients perform a sort of tidying-up festival: time set aside specifically to go through belongings. Each object is picked up and held, and the client needs to decide if it inspires joy. If it doesn’t, it needs to go." [more inside]
posted by flex on Jan 11, 2015 - 143 comments

To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This

Through a series of increasingly intimate questions, the author sees if she and her acquaintance can make themselves fall in love. (NYTimes link)
posted by amanda on Jan 11, 2015 - 130 comments

I want to feel what he feels

A Sunni-Shia Love Story Imperiled by al Qaeda (by Ruth Michaelson).
Sabrine and her soldier husband managed to marry against all odds, including her family’s wrath. Now, their love story faces an even bigger threat—his abduction by the Nusra Front.

posted by Golden Eternity on Dec 26, 2014 - 3 comments

Radio Raheem Is a Broken Record

Do the Right Thing wasn’t ahead of its time. It was behind its time, and it’s ahead of ours. It came out in the summer of 1989, six months before Driving Miss Daisy, but if you can imagine it without hip-hop, it could have come out in 1939 alongside Gone with the Wind; without color, in 1929 with The Jazz Singer; without sound, 1915 and The Birth of a Nation. If you updated the soundtrack and the fashion a bit and released it next week, critics would praise its timeliness and how its depiction of police brutality and racial tension captures the angry zeitgeist surrounding the recent killings of unarmed black civilians by police officers. Some might even predict that it would ultimately end up feeling dated, as some did 25 years ago. If only. - Lessons from Do the Right Thing on Its 25th Anniversary
posted by Artw on Dec 13, 2014 - 34 comments

In which Andrew WK explains exactly why love is essential

"Hey, Andrew.
I dig your music and what you stand for, but I'm kind of getting sick of all the hippy-dippy love stuff lately. Please don't take this the wrong way, I just think your whole message has kinda gotten corny. Maybe I'm out of line, but I don't see how all this cheesy lovey-dovey stuff makes sense in the real world. You're naive. Sometimes love just doesn't work. Sometimes people need to experience a bunch of bad shit in order to wake them up and see the truth. You have to admit that sometimes violence is the only way to make real change and get people's attention. Love isn't always the answer, man."
posted by hippybear on Dec 6, 2014 - 84 comments

Here's a box of chocolates; it is your duty to eat them.

People like order in their lives. This does not go down well with those who feel that social restraints of any sort are a bad thing, but these people are a distinct, if very noisy, minority. Most of us want social rules of some sort – not oppressive ones, of course – but rules that govern the way we conduct ourselves towards others. We want people to queue correctly.

We like it when people don’t chew with their mouth open. We love it – although we may be cowed into not saying this – when an able-bodied person gives up a seat to somebody who is clearly frailer. Personally, I like it when anybody gives up a seat on a train to anybody else, frail or not. (Novelist Alexander McCall Smith discusses Jane Austen's Emma in The Daily Mail.)
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome on Nov 11, 2014 - 35 comments

They look nothing alike but they love each other.

"2013. In my Medieval Literature class at the University of Pittsburgh, we’re talking about Margery Kempe, a 14th century English woman who wanted very, very much to be a saint, one of the few roles an ambitious woman of her time could aspire to achieve. She talked a monk into writing down her dictated autobiography, a sort of proto-memoir/self-hagiography that – along with a lengthy explanation of how she convinced God to make her a virgin again after having 14 children – includes visions of interacting with the Christ child. There’s one in which she explains to Mary, the mother of God, how to diaper the baby." [more inside]
posted by jetlagaddict on Nov 10, 2014 - 15 comments

Fumigation: A Love Story

“Your head is like obsidian,” she says to you, her hand passing North and South and East and West smooth across the surface, erasing away smudges, blood stains (but not scars, no, not scars, never scars) and the exoskeletons of memories bashed against a windshield.
You recall all you learned from geology classes as she continues to stroke your head. The glass forms because something very hot turns very cold, very quickly. This explains what’s happening right now — your body cooling rapidly against hers. Her skin broils, it could turn you into a naked volcanic glass statue and you would not really be surprised. And you would not mind.
Short fiction by Mónica Teresa Ortiz. (Two illustrations contain nonsexual nudity.)
posted by Banknote of the year on Nov 6, 2014 - 7 comments

PET ME HARDER

Following a sucessful Kickstarter, the puppet crew is back for DON'T HUGE ME I'M SCARED 3 (Previously, Previously)
posted by The Whelk on Nov 1, 2014 - 19 comments

Because you need more in life than love.

Love is not Enough is a fantastic breakdown why Love, as many people imagine it, is not all that is needed for a healthy relationship. It then provides realistic suggestions as to what you do need when choosing a partner. [more inside]
posted by quin on Oct 30, 2014 - 31 comments

The Brown Sisters, in forty portraits

Who are these sisters? We’re never told (though we know their names: from left, Heather, Mimi, Bebe and Laurie; Bebe, of the penetrating gaze, is Nixon’s wife). The human impulse is to look for clues, but soon we dispense with our anthropological scrutiny — Irish? Yankee, quite likely, with their decidedly glamour-neutral attitudes — and our curiosity becomes piqued instead by their undaunted stares. All four sisters almost always look directly at the camera, as if to make contact, even if their gazes are guarded or restrained.*
posted by Toekneesan on Oct 3, 2014 - 15 comments

SIMILO

SIMILO. "2065. The entire planet is hit by the effects of climate change. One of the few places that remain habitable is Antarctica, where corporations have built private cities. Hebe and Ciro get back together again. She is looking for love. He is searching for his own identity." [NSFW, Via]
posted by homunculus on Sep 21, 2014 - 9 comments

"distinctly queer and contemporary, as if retrofitting a classic car"

"Longings and Desires", a Slate.com book review by Amanda Katz:
[Sarah] Waters, who was born in Wales in 1966, has carved out an unusual spot in fiction. Her six novels, beginning with Tipping the Velvet in 1998, could be called historical fiction, but that doesn’t begin to capture their appeal. It is closer to say that she is creating pitch-perfect popular fiction of an earlier time, but swapping out its original moral engine for a sensibility that is distinctly queer and contemporary, as if retrofitting a classic car.

Her books offer something like an alternate reality—a literary one, if not a historical one. There may have been lesbian male impersonators working the London music halls in the 1890s, as in Tipping the Velvet, but there were certainly not mainstream novels devoted to their inner lives and sexual exploits. Waters gives such characters their say in books that imitate earlier crowd-pleasers in their structure, slang, and atmosphere, but that are powered by queer longing, defiant identity politics, and lusty, occasionally downright kinky sex. (An exception is her last novel, The Little Stranger.) The most masterful of these books so far is Fingersmith, a Wilkie Collins-esque tale full of genuinely shocking twists (thieves, double-crossing, asylums, mistaken identity, just go read it). The saddest is The Night Watch, a tale told in reverse of a group of entwined characters during and after World War II. But among many readers she is still most beloved for Tipping the Velvet, a deliriously paced coming-of-age story that is impossible to read in public without blushing.
[more inside]
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome on Sep 20, 2014 - 29 comments

A Post About Buzzfeed and Tinder? Just, Ew, No. Moving On

A Buzzfeed writer exercises her semiotics and gathers a bunch of stock photos to recreate Tinder, the quick glance social dating app, to find out why we swipe. [more inside]
posted by notyou on Sep 12, 2014 - 47 comments

Just do it already

"And yes, I get that sexuality is fluid and all of that, but honestly, can't they just do it and get it over with? Either that, or shut up about it." Are Sherlock and Watson Gonna Bone, or What? [more inside]
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome on Sep 10, 2014 - 202 comments

Because you aren't being you

A lot of women out there are afraid of being something. The template for us is pretty clear: We are meant to have clean skin, a pleasant demeanor, and a nice rack. I'm not speaking up against nice racks, Lord knows. But there are lots of ladies around me, everywhere I go, who hesitate to say what they're thinking and feeling. They go with the flow, they never make waves. And eventually, they don't even seem to know what makes them who they are. They live to serve. They read the books that other people are reading. They say the pleasant things that other people are saying. They never put their needs first, unless it indirectly serves someone else — a manicure, some highlights. They make sure everyone around them is 100 percent satisfied. Like grocery-store managers. Like customer service reps. Like masseuses who also give free happy endings. Ask Polly on "Why Don’t the Men I Date Ever Truly Love Me?"
posted by shivohum on Sep 9, 2014 - 170 comments

“‘Only you can know how crappy that feels,’ Maya said, empathizing.”

The Academy, by Monica Seles. Yes, that Monica Seles has written a young adult romance series. Grantland writer Brian Phillips provides "62 scalding takeaways from The Academy, by M. Seles,1 Books 1 and 2."
posted by Tevin on Aug 28, 2014 - 59 comments

Love the one you're with.

Don't do what you love. "We rarely hear the advice of the person who did what they loved and stayed poor or was horribly injured for it. Professional gamblers, stuntmen, washed up cartoonists like myself: we don’t give speeches at corporate events. We aren’t paid to go to the World Domination Summit and make people feel bad. We don’t land book deals or speak on Good Morning America." [more inside]
posted by mecran01 on Aug 23, 2014 - 76 comments

occasionally, she wears flannel.

when my boyfriend proposed, I cried — more like panic tears. but I wasn't certain I should end it — until I met her
posted by yeoz on Aug 18, 2014 - 115 comments

A Boy and His Dog

A young boy named Owen who has a very rare muscle condition called Schwartz Jampel Syndrome, as well as agoraphobia, had his life changed when his parents rescued a young Anatolian Shepherd named Haatchi who lost a leg after being deliberately tied to a railroad line in North London and hit by a train.
posted by gman on Aug 6, 2014 - 19 comments

A new language of love.

The Love App. Digital life and couples culture in South Korea.
posted by xowie on Aug 6, 2014 - 5 comments

My Life After Manson

Olivia Klaus's Op-Doc (9 minutes) on Patricia Krenwinkel, who was one of Charles Manson's Family members, convicted of seven counts of first-degree murder, and currently the longest-serving woman in California's prisons: "I would now have to be fully responsible for the damage, the wreckage and the horror."
posted by paleyellowwithorange on Aug 5, 2014 - 42 comments

The Not So United States of Infographics

One of the more ubiquitous formats for "infographics" these days is the U.S.A. Map Comparing Individual States and promoting interstate rivalries. After all, wherever you live in the U.S. of A., you need bragging rights for something, right?

Recently, Business Insider featured "27 Maps That Explain America" including ones that compared each state's percentage of residents with passports, most overrepresented job in every state, percentage of each state's population with a 4-year degree, number of billionaires in each state, number of Starbucks locations in each state, states' stances on climate change (judged by Think Progress), fast food consumption and exercise frequency (detail in a weird format here and here), and cavities per capita.

But Business Insider is certainly not the only site 'mapping the states'... [more inside]
posted by oneswellfoop on Aug 1, 2014 - 29 comments

"it is wise to be appropriately pessimistic here"

How we end up marrying the wrong people [more inside]
posted by flex on Jul 18, 2014 - 55 comments

"Identity is always something to be cherished."

I Am Loveworthy: How a Transgender Woman Found Love. (Previously, by the same writer.) Useful resources for participating in the discussion: Ohio U's Trans 101* : Primer and Vocabulary guide; GLAAD's Transgender Media and Education Program
posted by Lexica on Jul 13, 2014 - 18 comments

"it was clear, immediately, they wanted to be together"

For these endangered lemurs, it was love at first sight
There's puppy love, there's muskrat love, but there is nothing like the love of two middle-aged, critically endangered lemurs.… Dern, 17, had lost her mate at the Waco, Texas, zoo several months ago, and Anthony, 16, had recently been separated from his brother when he was sent to another zoo. Although both were accustomed to living with ring-tailed lemurs, it wasn't the same…. Both were lonely.

posted by Lexica on Jul 8, 2014 - 13 comments

"the fact that your Indian parents have fallen in American love"

The Arranged Marriage That Ended Happily Ever After: How My Parents Fell In Love, 30 Years Later
posted by the man of twists and turns on Jun 30, 2014 - 36 comments

On the illusion of infinite happiness

For it is the future generation in its entire individual determination which forces itself into existence through the medium of all this strife and trouble...That growing affection of two lovers for each other is in reality the will to live of the new being, of which they shall become the parents...The lovers have a longing to be really united and made one being, and to live as such for the rest of their lives; and this longing is fulfilled in the children born to them, in whom the qualities inherited from both, but combined and united in one being, are perpetuated...Therefore Nature attains her ends by implanting in the individual a certain illusion by which something which is in reality advantageous to the species alone seems to be advantageous to himself... Arthur Schopenhauer on the Metaphysics of Love.
posted by shivohum on Jun 17, 2014 - 11 comments

contempt, they found, is the number one factor that tears couples apart

science says lasting relationships come down to—you guessed it—kindness and generosity.
posted by and they trembled before her fury on Jun 17, 2014 - 91 comments

Alan spilled water on me while I was trying to sleep.

Claire Meyer and Alan Linic, a twentysomething couple in Chicago, have been keeping a public record of every fight they have fought since August of 2013.
posted by SkylitDrawl on Jun 6, 2014 - 78 comments

Ryland's Story

The stirring story of Ryland Whittington's family. (SLYT)
posted by growabrain on Jun 2, 2014 - 18 comments

Your crush mileage may vary.

May 7 is International Tell Your Crush Day. Maybe you found this site after someone told you they had a crush on you. Maybe you thought of the same holiday and we beat you to registering this username. Perhaps you’ve been a fan all along and have always wanted more propaganda to peruse while at work.
posted by aka burlap on May 2, 2014 - 113 comments

Friendship delivers what love promises but fails to provide

Friendship uniquely requires mutual self-knowledge and will. It takes two competent, willing people to be friends. You cannot impose a friendship on someone, although you can impose a crush, a lawsuit, or an obsession. If friendship is not reciprocated, it simply ceases to exist or, rather, it never existed in the first place. Andrew Sullivan's book Love Undetectable, illuminated via BrainPickings.
posted by Athanassiel on Apr 28, 2014 - 27 comments

A Northern California Love Song

♫ ♫ Well, you came out of nowhere like a Berkeley pedestrian
You stole my heart just like a San Francisco crackhead stole my bike
You drive me crazy like those West Marin hippies
But you're the kind of Northern Californian that I like ♫ ♫
[more inside]
posted by Lexica on Apr 20, 2014 - 20 comments

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