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How We F*** Now

BuzzFeed LGBT editor Saeed Jones joins journalists Steven Thrasher and Dave Tuller to discuss sex, gay men, and what we are (and aren’t) doing. (SL Buzzfeed)
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Jul 30, 2014 - 37 comments

Virginia is for Lovers

The 4th Circuit Court of Appeals upholds the decision overturning Virginia's ban on Same sex marriage:
"We recognize that same-sex marriage makes some people deeply uncomfortable. However, inertia and apprehension are not legitimate bases for denying same-sex couples due process and equal protection of the laws. Civil marriage is one of the cornerstones of our way of life. It allows individuals to celebrate and publicly declare their intentions to form lifelong partnerships, which provide unparalleled intimacy, companionship, emotional support, and security. The choice of whether and whom to marry is an intensely personal decision that alters the course of an individual’s life. Denying same-sex couples this choice prohibits them from participating fully in our society, which is precisely the type of segregation that the Fourteenth Amendment cannot countenance."
[more inside]
posted by peeedro on Jul 29, 2014 - 87 comments

...is what brings us together, today.

Misleading on Marriage: how gay marriage opponents twist history to suit their agenda - "Much of what you hear about the purpose of marriage is ahistorical. Lisa L. Spangenberg on what the institution was traditionally fit for."
As someone in a same-sex relationship, I followed arguments for and against the overturn of DOMA with some interest. As a medievalist, my attention was particularly caught by arguments against DOMA on Twitter and elsewhere that asserted that Christianity and history unilaterally agreed that marriage means one woman and one man and coitus. This simply isn't historically accurate even within the context of Christianity and European history.

posted by the man of twists and turns on Jul 24, 2014 - 47 comments

"wait for a bunch of old ideas to die in order for a church to live"

A Church Divided Over Marriage Equality
The Church’s rules against homosexuality have divided Methodists for forty years. Attempts to abolish or even soften these rules have failed at every General Conference, the quadrennial meeting of the denomination, since they were first added, in 1972, to the Book of Discipline, which contains the Church’s laws and doctrine.

"And They Will Know We Are Christians by Our Love"
"Methodists should call meeting on gay divide, pastor says"
"Ranks of defiant United Methodist clergy rise"
"Defrocking of Minister Widens Split Over Gays"
posted by davidstandaford on Jul 23, 2014 - 22 comments

"it is wise to be appropriately pessimistic here"

How we end up marrying the wrong people [more inside]
posted by flex on Jul 18, 2014 - 55 comments

And now it's Florida \o/

Monroe County Circuit Judge, Luis Garcia, has ruled that a provision in the Florida Constitution that outlaws same-sex marriage violates the U.S. Constitution. [more inside]
posted by Sophie1 on Jul 17, 2014 - 71 comments

"Can you deal with the fact that I'm not in love with you?"

Without You I'm Nothing: The Believer looks at the memoirs of the wives and girlfriends of rock stars.
posted by The Whelk on Jul 4, 2014 - 20 comments

The Fox, The Madien, The River, And The Witch

Leigh Bardugo writes haunting, Eastern-European inspired fairy tales (Previously) often highlighting the experience of women in a unfair world. Tor.com presents two new stories, the somber "The Too-Clever Fox" and the subversive "Little Knife."
posted by The Whelk on Jul 1, 2014 - 8 comments

"the fact that your Indian parents have fallen in American love"

The Arranged Marriage That Ended Happily Ever After: How My Parents Fell In Love, 30 Years Later
posted by the man of twists and turns on Jun 30, 2014 - 36 comments

Peter and Patricia picked a peck of perfect partners

How to Pick a Life Partner. From afar, a great marriage is a sweeping love story, like a marriage in a book or a movie. And that’s a nice, poetic way to look at a marriage as a whole. But human happiness doesn’t function in sweeping strokes, because we don’t live in broad summations—we’re stuck in the tiny unglamorous folds of the fabric of life, and that’s where our happiness is determined. So if we want to find a happy marriage, we need to think small—we need to look at marriage up close and see that it’s built not out of anything poetic, but out of 20,000 mundane Wednesdays. This is the second of two posts. The first one tells us why we suck at picking life partners. [more inside]
posted by storybored on Jun 27, 2014 - 46 comments

contempt, they found, is the number one factor that tears couples apart

science says lasting relationships come down to—you guessed it—kindness and generosity.
posted by and they trembled before her fury on Jun 17, 2014 - 91 comments

Alan spilled water on me while I was trying to sleep.

Claire Meyer and Alan Linic, a twentysomething couple in Chicago, have been keeping a public record of every fight they have fought since August of 2013.
posted by SkylitDrawl on Jun 6, 2014 - 78 comments

On, Wisconsin

A federal judge has overturned Wisconsin's ban on same sex marriage. [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Jun 6, 2014 - 125 comments

"It is at times difficult to see past the shrillness of the debate"

A federal judge in Oregon has overturned that state's ban on same sex marriage, opening the door for couples to begin getting married immediately. (PDF) [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on May 19, 2014 - 112 comments

The Court finds Idaho’s Marriage Laws unconstitutional

A federal judge in Idaho has issued a ruling (PDF) declaring Idaho's same-sex marriage ban unconstitutional, and today denied Gov. Butch Otter's motion for a stay on her decision overturning Idaho's ban on same-sex marriages. [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on May 14, 2014 - 96 comments

Can we do that there? Be that here? Check Equaldex.

Equaldex: the collaborative LGBT knowledgebase! A crowd-sourced, verified, beautifully presented representation of equal rights (and how they are specifically denied) for LGBT folks. [via reddit]
posted by batmonkey on May 13, 2014 - 7 comments

How to Stop a Wedding

An illustrated guide. "Enjoy life with your bride or groom. Be aware, however, that you're never guaranteed a storybook ending. Someone who is likely to walk from a wedding may be afraid of commitment, and insecure in relationships. This could pose problems for your relationship."
posted by 912 Greens on May 7, 2014 - 89 comments

"..impale the arms of his husband with his own.."

At long last the College Of Arms has released offical guidelines on the effects of same-sex marriage on heraldry.
posted by The Whelk on May 6, 2014 - 108 comments

Beating the Tinder Game

Blake Jamieson used his marketing background to game Tinder's system.
posted by reenum on Apr 20, 2014 - 65 comments

For Richer Or Poorer

Ask Polly: Will Our Class Differences Tear Us Apart?
I've been with my current boyfriend for three years. We're really great together—similar interests, senses of humor, great sex. I love him so much—the only issue is that of our respective backgrounds. He grew up in a tony suburb, went to prep school, then to a very prestigious college, and finally the very prestigious graduate school where we met. I went to public school in a bad neighborhood, put myself through a not-so-prestigious college, made a name for myself in my field, then got into that same prestigious grad school. Our families could not be more different. I didn't think it would matter so much, but something happened recently that I can't shake.
[more inside]
posted by the man of twists and turns on Apr 12, 2014 - 86 comments

What If Everything You Knew About Poverty Was Wrong?

"A sociologist at Johns Hopkins University, Edin is one of the nation's preeminent poverty researchers. She has spent much of the past several decades studying some of the country's most dangerous, impoverished neighborhoods. But unlike academics who draw conclusions about poverty from the ivory tower, Edin has gotten up close and personal with the people she studies—and in the process has shattered many myths about the poor, rocking sociology and public-policy circles. [more inside]
posted by Bella Donna on Apr 10, 2014 - 114 comments

The Crossroads of America

A federal judge in Indiana has ordered that the state recognize the marriage of Amy Sandler and Niki Quasney. [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Apr 10, 2014 - 26 comments

"Here's a tape of our little visit."

In 2000, Conan O'Brien taped a comedy segment at the NYC offices of Foote, Cone & Belding. The premise: take a chainsaw-wielding furniture huckster from Texas, and try to turn him into a star using a top-tier ad campaign. In the segment, Conan is introduced to a team of FCB copywriters, who dutifully come up with an appropriately ridiculous TV ad.
The segment went as planned; Just another remote for Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Little did he know where it would lead. Conan and one of the on-camera copywriters took a shine to each other, and stayed in touch. Two years later, Conan O'Brien and Liza Powel were married. Today they live in Hollywood with their two kids.
In a 2012 interview, Conan told CNN's Piers Morgan: "Somewhere, in the vault at NBC, there's footage of me literally falling for my wife on camera."
Roll the tape.
posted by Silky Slim on Apr 10, 2014 - 46 comments

Si quaeris peninsulam amoenam circumspice

A federal judge has overturned Michigan's ban on same sex marriage and adoption. (pdf). There is no stay in the ruling.
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Mar 21, 2014 - 82 comments

Keeping tradition and history intact is not a justification....

U.S. District Judge Orlando Garcia has ruled that Texas' ban on the recognition of marriage equality is unconstitutional. The ruling comes days after the launch of Freedom To Marry's Southern Campaign, and almost a week after a judge in Illinois ruled that gay and lesbian couples there had the right to marry immediately, rather than June 1, as the legislature had previously passed. The Texas ruling has been stayed pending appeal.
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Feb 26, 2014 - 82 comments

Unhung Hero

Patrick Moote's marriage proposal was rejected in front of a large crowd at a UCLA basketball game. When he asked his former girlfriend why, she told him it was because his penis was too small, which led to him creating a cockumentary called Unhung Hero. [more inside]
posted by gman on Feb 17, 2014 - 151 comments

The Plaintiffs today also ask for fairness, and fairness only.

"Our nation's uneven but dogged journey toward truer and more meaningful freedoms for our citizens has brought us continually to a deeper understanding of the first three words in our Constitution: we the people. "We the People" have become a broader, more diverse family than once imagined." In the case of Bostic v. Rainey, the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia's Judge Arenda L. Wright Allen has declared Virginia's same-sex marriage ban unconstitutional [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Feb 14, 2014 - 66 comments

I Was An NFL Player Until I Was Fired By Two Cowards And A Bigot

"Hello. My name is Chris Kluwe, and for eight years I was the punter for the Minnesota Vikings. In May 2013, the Vikings released me from the team. At the time, quite a few people asked me if I thought it was because of my recent activism for same-sex marriage rights, and I was very careful in how I answered the question." [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Jan 2, 2014 - 247 comments

No Rational Reason

A federal judge has ruled Utah's Amendment 3 is unconstitutional. [more inside]
posted by msbutah on Dec 20, 2013 - 283 comments

New Mexico Fully Legalizes Same-Sex Marriage

Following the state Supreme Court's decision in Griego v. Oliver [pdf], New Mexico has become the 17th U.S. state to legalize same-sex marriage. [more inside]
posted by jedicus on Dec 19, 2013 - 59 comments

Today, however, simply living together doesn’t amount to being "married"

On Friday, federal court judge Judge Clark Waddoups issued a ruling stating that parts of Utah’s polygamy laws, including the statute that criminalizes cohabitation, is unconstitutional. [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Dec 16, 2013 - 153 comments

My Big Gay Illegal Wedding

Tim Gunn and the ACLU present "My Big Gay (Il)legal Wedding", a contest for same-sex folks in non-marriage equality states to come up with the most creative ways to cross state lines into a marriage equality state and get married. The winning couples will receive $5,000 for their wedding expenses, assistance from a wedding planner and a trip to New York for an event, planned for March, styled like a wedding reception.
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Dec 10, 2013 - 24 comments

"More than anything, they are our equals."

West Australian MP Stephen Dawson and his partner Dennis Liddelow have become the first same-sex couple to legally marry in Australia. But the High Court of Australia may declare the legislation that allowed them to get married — and thus their marriage itself — invalid next week. [more inside]
posted by Georgina on Dec 7, 2013 - 13 comments

“It wasn’t clear the law was going to be around."

Ten years ago today, invoking the “dignity and equality of all individuals", the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court declared that the state must allow same sex couples the right to marry. The plaintiffs' attorney was Mary Bonauto.
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Nov 18, 2013 - 12 comments

Fifteen

With the bill approved by the Illinois House of Representatives, Illinois will become the 15th marriage equality state. [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Nov 5, 2013 - 97 comments

"It's a cake with two tiny dolls that look like us. EAT A SLICE."

Marriage is an insane proposal. [slyt]
posted by Rory Marinich on Oct 27, 2013 - 42 comments

Mixed Marriages in China a Labour of Love

Mixed Marriages in China a Labour of Love [more inside]
posted by modernnomad on Oct 23, 2013 - 17 comments

Love Him, Hate His Politics

Jeanne Safer writes about being "married to [Richard Brookhiser] with whom I violently disagree on every conceivable political issue, including abortion, gun control, and assisted suicide. I thought the recent government shutdown was absurd, infantile, and destructive; he was a fan. And not only is he a conservative Republican, he’s a professional conservative Republican, a Senior Editor of National Review, the leading journal of conservative opinion in the country."
posted by Jahaza on Oct 23, 2013 - 380 comments

No sex please, we're Japanese

Young people in Japan are increasingly abstaining from romantic relationships and sex. The media refers to this phenomenon as sekkusu shinai shokogun, or "celibacy syndrome". [more inside]
posted by acb on Oct 20, 2013 - 109 comments

Married on Monday

New Jersey court to allow same-sex marriages. A stay was not granted to an earlier ruling allowing gay people to marry in New Jersey. Asbury Park and Newark are already issuing marriage licenses for couples to marry at the first possible time on Monday. This defeats a long-term move by governor Christie and conservatives to push a statewide referendum rather than go ahead with the court's ruling. New Jersey is now the fourteenth state to allow gay marriage.
posted by graymouser on Oct 18, 2013 - 55 comments

There is no dust in here. I'm just straight up having major eye leaks.

Yep it's another proposal video. The woman being proposed to works for Washington Bus, a group which focuses on youth involvement in Democracy and was instrumental in helping get Marriage Equality passed in Washington state. SPOILER ALERT: She gets to take advantage of that law! [more inside]
posted by sio42 on Oct 16, 2013 - 27 comments

Points for creativity?

"In a bizarre case involving threats of kidnapping, beatings and physical torture — including the use of an electric cattle prod— two rabbis were charged in New Jersey on Wednesday in a scheme to force men to grant their wives religious divorces." [more inside]
posted by showbiz_liz on Oct 10, 2013 - 131 comments

"I have never been custodian of my legacy."

In Conversation: Antonin Scalia "On the eve of a new Supreme Court session, the firebrand justice discusses gay rights and media echo chambers, Seinfeld and the Devil, and how much he cares about his intellectual legacy ("I don’t")." [more inside]
posted by zarq on Oct 6, 2013 - 89 comments

Same-sex couples must be allowed to marry

Yesterday, Superior Court Judge Mary Jacobson of the Mercer County Superior Court ruled in Garden State Equality et al. v. Dow that New Jersey's civil unions are inherently unequal in light of the SCOTUS Windsor ruling, and that plaintiff couples and those similarly situated should be allowed to marry beginning October 21st. [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Sep 28, 2013 - 26 comments

"I didn't love my wife before we got married."

And even worse, it seemed that the harder I tried to be sentimental and lovey-dovey, the less it was reciprocated. "But eventually it became clear. Through giving, through doing things for my wife, the emotion that I had been so desperately seeking naturally came about. It wasn't something I could force, just something that would come about as a result of my giving." (SLHuffPo)
posted by Kitteh on Sep 16, 2013 - 70 comments

"Well, now they know."

John Banvard, 95, Gerard Nadeau, 67, were married Thursday at a Chula Vista, CA Veterans' senior living facility. Mr. Banvard, a World War II vet, and Mr. Nadeau, a Vietnam vet, have been together for 20 years, and were married at the facility despite the opposition of some residents. In response to the opposition, Mr. Nadeau said, "Oh, that's their problem not mine, but you know what this will do, open the door for other people." [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Sep 14, 2013 - 32 comments

I am my beloved's, and my beloved trades commodity futures

Wedding Crunchers: An n-gram analysis of wedding announcements in the New York Times going back to 1981. See, for example, the decline in elite prep schools, how well the five boroughs are represented, or the rise (and fall) of hedge fund managers among the newly wed. The site's creator offers a more detailed look over at Rap Genius.
posted by Cash4Lead on Sep 5, 2013 - 12 comments

I Now Pronounce You Man and Man

Today, Ruth Bader Ginsburg becomes the first Supreme Court Justice to officiate at a same sex marriage.
posted by Going To Maine on Aug 31, 2013 - 29 comments

On Marrying a Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse

As his wife, how do I respond? That he survived? That he’s brave? That he’s a hero for letting me talk about it? That I will stand beside him with a personal mission and public vow that nobody will ever hurt him, physically or emotionally, again, the way they did during his 30 months as a choirboy from 1988 to 1990?
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Aug 28, 2013 - 29 comments

A Letter from Fred

Oh Sweet Lorraine After his wife of 73 years died in April, Fred Stobaugh was heartbroken. But the Peoria, Ill., widower was still able to speak to her – in song.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero on Aug 27, 2013 - 7 comments

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