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Crunch all you want! We'll give you food poisoning!
"The corn has not been approved for human consumption..!" Run for your lives! The nation and the world faces a crisis today as Cheetos and Funyuns supplies drop to critical lows, and the competition among snack foods is fierce! The nation is suffering a Cheetos crunch! This has got to be one of the funniest melodramatic pieces ever to come out of the DeMoN. Just pretend Dan Rather is reading the copy to you. Or better yet, Walter Cronkite.
posted by ZachsMind on Dec 9, 2000 - 5 comments

Oh this is lovely. Sydney, Seoul, Barcelona, Atlanta, and now... Somebody remind me to move outta Dallas within 12 years, before the gone and forgotten Izzy makes its appearance in my hometown. Sheesh. We need this like we need another DART bus. Or a pipe bomb, for that matter...
posted by ZachsMind on Jun 27, 2000 - 7 comments

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