Russian strategic nuclear forces - an online watchdog of the movements of Russia's nuclear forces. [more inside]
posted by Burhanistan on Sep 20, 2009 - 8 comments

Since 1955 NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command) has been tracking Santa's Christmas trek around the globe by way of radar, satellites, fighter jets and now Santa Cams. In addition to tracking via Google Maps, you can also follow his journey in 3D via Google Earth. Also, be sure to check the Santa Cams which capture video of the places he's already visited on his trip. [more inside]
posted by ericb on Dec 24, 2008 - 27 comments

Penguins in Santa outfits playing in the snow!
posted by hermitosis on Dec 23, 2008 - 18 comments

Maybe you didn't get into the oldest Santa Claus School for an elite education. So you considered schools in other places. But being Santa Claus is something you can learn on your own. It's just a matter of learning how to dress and act. If you can handle the hours, the job insecurity, the union, the corporate pressure, and the customer relations, you may just find a jolly career.
posted by twoleftfeet on Dec 21, 2008 - 13 comments

Ho, ho, ho! Santa visits Iraq. Seen via NORAD. [more inside]
posted by zerobyproxy on Dec 24, 2007 - 20 comments

What to my wondering eyes should appear but the suggestion that "A Visit From St. Nicholas," the classic poem which has defined the American Santa Claus, from red suit and big belly to reindeer and chimney-delivery method, was written not by classics professor Clement Clarke Moore but by poet and military man Henry Livingston. Though some think the authorship controversy is sugarplum vision of Livingston's descendents, other scholars the claim: literary 'detective' Donald Foster agrees (though his sleuthing record is not unblemished). Leading historian of Christmas Stephen Nissenbaum, says that either way, St. Nick is the product of the same social world, that of the wealthy white elite in the New York of the early Republic. If the claim is true, then in the convoluted history of the manuscript we've gotten some reindeer names wrong.
posted by Miko on Dec 24, 2007 - 17 comments

Secret lives: Santa Claus Steady Mobbin' - I fear this will lead to no good.
posted by madamjujujive on Dec 22, 2007 - 12 comments

He keeps his white gloved hands where parents can see them. And buys liability insurance, just in case.
posted by chlorus on Dec 21, 2007 - 59 comments

You want me to eat what?!? It's fun to talk about oral sex, but I want to chat about something else. To see if you have permission, sign in. Or just add northpole@live.com to your IM. Failing that, see what Howard has to offer.
posted by gman on Dec 6, 2007 - 20 comments

Learn all about Sinterklaas, find out if Santa and Saint Nick the same person, and so much more!
posted by goml on Dec 4, 2007 - 19 comments

"What do you think of that, Santa?" Yet another case of student 'art projects' out of control . . . other incredible violations of mall-Santa lap etiquette:1, 2, 3, and no doubt the most flagrant example, 4. Be careful out there.
posted by huckhound on Dec 3, 2007 - 32 comments

Ho Ho Ho? Hellz No Fat Man!
posted by Stynxno on Nov 15, 2007 - 40 comments

Gift to the World (youtube) Tongue firmly in cheek is the modus operandi of the Sin Destroyers (on mefi previously here) a band best summed up in this press quote, “If Iron Maiden had attended Catholic school, this would be their garage band”. I’m not sure what series of decisions led to the formation of a parody Christian rock band, but the results are pretty damn funny (and rockin’). Dig on their holiday offering, Gift to the World. If you’re feeling particularly pious today, you might skip this one. (via)
posted by pelican on Dec 21, 2006 - 10 comments

Penguins With Angst is the visual tale of a group of hoodlum penguins who vandalize a grain silo & threaten the life of Santa Claus. Easter Sacrifice is a photostory of the kidnapping of the Easter Bunny & his eventual decapitation by the Dove of Peace. Both art projects courtesy of Exclusionary, the online gallery of Jasper Thomas' work.
posted by jonson on Dec 17, 2006 - 10 comments

Santa'd: Flickr's new holiday Easter egg.
posted by brundlefly on Dec 13, 2006 - 36 comments

Scared of Santa (via)
posted by gottabefunky on Dec 5, 2006 - 21 comments

When I first saw it, my jaw hit the floor. After years of thinking I would suffer alone with the memory, I found others who knew. Along the way, I discovered other gems... even though my personal tastes were more epic. When she asked why I loved them so much, I replied, "Because they are so ambitious. They try so hard".
posted by squidfartz on Sep 22, 2006 - 23 comments

Zanta: The Movie. If you live or work in downtown Toronto, you've seen him. Shirtless, wearing a Santa hat, and most likely doing pushups, he's David "Zanta" Zancai, and one of the city's most enigmatic characters.
posted by Robot Johnny on May 19, 2006 - 38 comments

Mr. Gonopolis and his 12 Holsteins. It’s December 24th and Santa gets the measles. Mr. Gonopolis, a bumbling dairy farmer from Minnesota and member of the Emergency Substitute Santa Claus Corps, gets the call and hitches up his 12 Holstein cows. Following a custom of naming cows after people he admires, for the 20th anniversary edition of his children’s book Uncle Hyggly renamed one of the cows “Oprah” and got into some hot water. Even so, this book is a welcome alternative to other cow temptation (NSF Farmers).
posted by luckypozzo on Dec 28, 2005 - 15 comments

Of course santa is real, even NORAD tracks him. With large corporate sponsors and a long list of b-class celebrities (except for Mickey Rooney), how could any child doubt that santa exists. How can mass societal lies be any good for children? Does it teach them that everyone lies and is it the reason that most adults do?
posted by Mr_Zero on Dec 25, 2005 - 142 comments

Putting the Satan into Santa - Mad Santas go on a rampage in New Zealand, last year it was here in Wales - but the Satanic truth is much more shocking... However, that depends which version you want to believe
posted by Dio on Dec 18, 2005 - 14 comments

The Real Story of Christmas ...Many who are excitedly preparing for their Christmas celebrations would prefer not knowing about the holiday’s real significance. If they do know the history, they often object that their celebration has nothing to do with the holiday’s monstrous history and meaning. “We are just having fun.”
posted by NorthernSky on Dec 17, 2005 - 68 comments

T.E.R.D. Tangible Evidence. Real Discoveries. Dr. Lloyd Darrow may have proof that something - or someone - really exists.
posted by mr_crash_davis on Dec 25, 2004 - 8 comments

Santa Santa Santa Santa It's Friday, it's Flash, it's Christmas Eve, so....
posted by SPrintF on Dec 24, 2004 - 17 comments

Watch the sky! He's coming soon! With fighter escort!
posted by arse_hat on Dec 23, 2004 - 15 comments

Santa Saves Time and Money by simply skipping over the Blue States. SNL still somehow relevant. TV Funhouse still on the good side of that damn shark.
posted by wah on Dec 22, 2004 - 26 comments

Ho Ho Waaaahhhh!! A lot of kids don't like standing in long lines. A lot of kids don't like strangers (especially ones with big fake beards who are laughing dementedly). A lot of kids don't like having their pictures taken. Put them all together, and you've got the nightmare of the Kid's Photo With Santa, some unfortunate results of which are immortalized in the Scared Of Santa Photo Gallery. (Link is to #2, which is my favorite.)
posted by Kat Allison on Dec 18, 2004 - 56 comments

No Xmas in U.S. this year: Santa on Fed's "No Fly" list.
Okay, that's just "News" from the website of satiric rockers Bah and the Humbugs, skewering Xmas since 1985. MP3s of the entirety of this year's CD Farhenheit 12/25 are available on the website, or you can buy the CD for $10 and all ten sheckles go to the UN World Food Programme. More tracks here, including the "Jolly Roger the Xmas Pirate" series and "Free the Reindeer. " Great stuff for that awkward holiday family get-together, where the music won't offend but the cool lyrics can keep you chuckling to yourself all night.
posted by Shane on Dec 17, 2004 - 4 comments

When Santas Go Bad. Apparently, they brawl.
posted by dismitree on Dec 9, 2004 - 10 comments

Santa, apparantly, brings the mosh like noone else.
posted by dflemingdotorg on Dec 8, 2004 - 16 comments

Santas Gone Wild Imagine a flashmob. Now imagine a flashmob that is nothing but Santas. Once a year, for 10 years now, a bunch of crazies dress up like Santa Claus, frolic around major cities (like NYC, good text summary of what SantaCon is all about to be found here) and cause merry mischief.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero on Dec 7, 2004 - 20 comments

From the Holly-Jolly uber-conservatives at Human Events comes a patriotic selection of Christmas ornaments, including George W. Bush (with extra sparkle!) and what appears to be the Team America Santa.
posted by XQUZYPHYR on Nov 29, 2004 - 21 comments

Have a merry, sex and gadget filled hyper-commercialized Japanese Christmas. "Well it all started when a Spanish Jesuit missionary named St. Francis Xavier brought Christmas to Japan in 1549...." The Jesuit bid to Christianize Japan was a flop though, and now - while Jews in the West, for example, tend to go out for Chinese food on Christmas Eve, the Japanese had little connection to the Christian version - so they invented their own! Syncretistic Japan pulls in random elements of Western "Christmas" and recombines in pleasing new ways! ( shocking only to Christians ). Santa Claus on the Cross and more!

A proper Christmas in Japan - for singles - involves a hot date and visit to a "Love Hotel" where "you might be directed by scantily-clad female elves to rooms complete with Christmas trees and life-size reindeer watching the proceedings with interest." and "Grope Free Commutes", for Japanese women tired of having their asses grabbed on the subway by drunk salarymen returning from "Forget the Year" parties. This fine blog chronicles it all: " the Dolphin-and-fish-surrounded Christmas tree", Ukelele Christmas parties - "I wandered into a score of middle aged Japanese ladies wearing Hawaiian shirts and plastic lays, tuning up their ukuleles" and more. And don't forget to buy some cool new gadgets. "...a tiny robot helicopter weighing less than 9 grams... "
posted by troutfishing on Dec 25, 2003 - 19 comments

Santa is trapped in a usb mouse.
posted by srboisvert on Dec 23, 2003 - 8 comments

Psychedelic Santa Claus. "Modern Christmas traditions are based on ancient mushroom-using shamans." [Via J-Walk blog.]
posted by homunculus on Dec 22, 2003 - 15 comments

Santa lays off elves "Something will definitely be missing this Christmas." said Milja Vilmila, who was told her job as an elf helping Santa no longer existed.
posted by drezdn on Dec 20, 2003 - 6 comments

Catapult Santa. (flash, via the ultimate insult)
posted by Ufez Jones on Dec 19, 2003 - 1 comment

Santa and the X-Games. Help two poor elves sling Santa Claus all the way to Mordor.
posted by bargle on Dec 13, 2003 - 12 comments

Sober Santa. Too much politics today, not enough Christmas fun. Here's a drunk Santa game from b3ta. Pretty tough once you get going.
posted by Stan Chin on Dec 12, 2003 - 12 comments

Did anyone catch Rudolph last night? (more inside)
posted by jpburns on Dec 10, 2003 - 19 comments

Ugly money : burnt bills, Santa singles, good time greenbacks, bodacious bum bucks and then some. On a related but cool note, conceptual currency.
posted by pedantic on Jul 6, 2003 - 7 comments

Santa brought me cookies for Christmas. I did not eat them. I sold them on eBay. Much like the Amazon reviews that were an artform to themselves, someone goes a little crazy with the ebay reviews.
posted by Salmonberry on May 9, 2003 - 20 comments

The world's most wanted man has embarked on his annual breaking-and-entering spree! Stop him before he reaches your house, using the power of NORAD. Track him as he wends his way around the world...(see! Missile-defense technology IS good for something!)
posted by amberglow on Dec 24, 2002 - 14 comments

Twas the night before Xmas and all through the net,
The geeks would be googling the ascii character set;
Metafilter refreshed on their PCs with care,
In the hopes that their FPP soon would be there;

Then up in the blue there arose such a clatter,
Mathowie sprang up to see what's the matter;
When, what to my wondering eyes there should be,
The canonical list of "Twas" parodies.
posted by Wet Spot on Dec 22, 2002 - 11 comments

Santa found living on the South Pole....of Mars!?! Mysterious tracks that look like 250-mile long ski or sled trails have been found near the South Pole of Mars. Researchers at the University of Colorado have found the broad, sweeping lines cutting through a section of the southern ice caps of the frigid planet, but haven't a clue what caused them. via the excellent laputan logic
posted by Ufez Jones on Dec 17, 2002 - 7 comments

Yes, Boston, there really is a Santa Claus. After a spate of posts lately, a Boston-area graffiti tagger reassures the city of the jolly old elf's existence. The Phoenix wonders why.
posted by pxe2000 on Dec 16, 2002 - 19 comments

Santa Rampage! Last weekend a horde of Santa's wreaked havoc on Washington DC's clubs, bars and adult establishments. Amazingly only one santa was decked in the entire evening.
posted by cpfeifer on Dec 14, 2002 - 20 comments

"No, Virginia Hayley, there isn't a Santa Claus" A substitute teacher in Florida was reading aloud to her class of Kindergartners when the subject unexpectedly turned to the existence of Santa Claus. Rather than perpetuate a myth, "Mrs. P" chose to come clean with the gathered five year olds, and explained that there was no Santa, and that all presents "come from mom and dad." Well, next thing you know, kids are crying, parents are protesting, and the teacher feels awful. In an effort to "make up for the teacher's lapse," the school district decides to send in a "Santa" to visit the class in order to "set the record straight": "Today's visiting Santa, with a natural, full white beard, should convince even a classroom full of skeptics, said district spokesman Englehart. 'He's the real deal.'" Great! Well, except for the fact that he's not. (via obscurestore)
posted by pardonyou? on Dec 13, 2002 - 123 comments

Santa Claus, elusive jolly old elf, has finally been located by someone curious enough (in both senses of the word) to use FedEx to track him down. (The page I linked to here only tells half the story; click that link down on the left to get FedEx's tracking page.)
posted by wanderingmind on Dec 6, 2002 - 20 comments

Magic 8 Ball Santa Witness the jiggling fat man! This couldn't wait for a Friday humor post. I've asked questions like: Will that cute brunette ever return my call? Will the Cincinnati Bengals go undefeated next year? Oh those lonely times at work...Huzzah!
posted by lheiskell on Dec 5, 2002 - 18 comments