"It irritates me because it seems such a self-conscious way to live. But, to be fair, it’s almost always completely unselfconsciously done.
It’s people like me, carping at the camcordsters, who are overthinking how life should be experienced. We’re the ones who are trying to impose our opinion of how things should be enjoyed. 'Why can’t you just look at a view!?' we fume, but we never ask ourselves: 'Why can’t you just let people enjoy the view in the way they want!?' Exasperated by people staring at their phones instead of the world around them, we end up staring at people staring at their phones, miss the sunset, fireworks display or penguin feeding time, and don’t even walk away with a video to watch later." (SLGuardian)
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome
on Sep 14, 2014 -
We were each other’s firsts. I was 16, a stressed-out immigrant kid, she was the daughter of Colombian Catholics who were quite fond of the church’s policy on pre-marital sex. So it took us quite a while to awkwardly, semi-defeatedly concede to each other that we had run out of excuses to avoid sex. “This weekend?” I said grimly.
A very sweet Guardian piece called "My parents helped me to lose my virginity
" by novelist Boris Fishman
posted by jbickers
on Sep 12, 2014 -
A lot of women out there are afraid of being something. The template for us is pretty clear: We are meant to have clean skin, a pleasant demeanor, and a nice rack. I'm not speaking up against nice racks, Lord knows. But there are lots of ladies around me, everywhere I go, who hesitate to say what they're thinking and feeling. They go with the flow, they never make waves. And eventually, they don't even seem to know what makes them who they are. They live to serve. They read the books that other people are reading. They say the pleasant things that other people are saying. They never put their needs first, unless it indirectly serves someone else — a manicure, some highlights. They make sure everyone around them is 100 percent satisfied. Like grocery-store managers. Like customer service reps. Like masseuses who also give free happy endings.
Ask Polly on "Why Don’t the Men I Date Ever Truly Love Me?"
posted by shivohum
on Sep 9, 2014 -
For the very first time, the sales of one million sex toys and 45,000 of their reviews have been analysed to reveal what we do in our most intimate and uninhibited moments. Research
by Jon Millward, who also brought us Deep Inside
) [All links NSFW]
posted by chavenet
on Sep 9, 2014 -
A father finds pornographic websites in his 9-year-old son's browser history in a surprisingly charming and amusing first-person essay
: “I know you were looking at porn.” A silence hung in the air between us as I tried to figure out where to go from there. He looked at me, eyebrows up and eyes wide open, on alert for whatever would come next. The past winter had torn up the road, and his still baby-fatted cheeks bounced along with the car as we headed back towards our house. The anticipation of my response was clearly getting to him. “Are you gonna say anything else?” “To be honest, I hadn’t really thought this far ahead,” I told him. “I only planned as far as this, telling you I knew.” [more inside]
posted by Eyebrows McGee
on Aug 26, 2014 -
Behind Claude’s Doors
In 1960s Paris she became known as the world’s most exclusive madam, whose client list was said to include John Kennedy, de Gaulle, Onassis, and multiple Rothschilds, and whose beautiful and cultivated girls often went on to marry wealth, power, and prestige. But among the many secrets Madame Claude kept, perhaps the greatest were her own. William Stadiem, who knew the elusive Claude in the 1980s, follows her trail to the South of France. [more inside]
posted by the man of twists and turns
on Aug 22, 2014 -
“Hey,” I said to my boyfriend. “So I need to do something weird to your dick later.” I thought for a second and then added, “It’s for work,” as if that somehow made it better. My boyfriend nodded curiously. “It’s a grapefruit. I need to put a grapefruit on your dick. I’m sorry.”
Gabrielle Moss tries the grapefruit blowjob technique
as recommended by Auntie Angel. NSFW. [more inside]
posted by MartinWisse
on Aug 5, 2014 -
In a public radio world that turns a blind eye and blushing cheek to sex, we give you Audio Smut. We are a show about your body, your heart, and your junk. Every 2 weeks we deliver honest and emotionally engaging stories that read like a diary and sound like a dream. Our mission is to educate and initiate public discourse about gender, sex, and relationships from a sex-positive, queer, and feminist perspective. Our work portrays sexuality in a diverse and honest light. [more inside]
posted by kagredon
on Jul 26, 2014 -
31 Adorable Slang Terms for Sexual Intercourse from the Last 600 Years
Lexicographer Jonathon Green’s comprehensive historical dictionary of slang, Green’s Dictionary of Slang, covers hundreds of years of jargon, cant, and naughty talk. He has created a series of online timelines (here and here) where the words too impolite, indecent, or risqué for the usual history books are arranged in the order they came into fashion. (If you don’t see any words on the timelines, zoom out using the bar on the right.) We’ve already had fun with the classiest terms for naughty bits. Here are the most adorable terms for sexual intercourse from the last 600 or so years.
posted by mikeand1
on Jul 18, 2014 -
For it is the future generation in its entire individual determination which forces itself into existence through the medium of all this strife and trouble...That growing affection of two lovers for each other is in reality the will to live of the new being, of which they shall become the parents...The lovers have a longing to be really united and made one being, and to live as such for the rest of their lives; and this longing is fulfilled in the children born to them, in whom the qualities inherited from both, but combined and united in one being, are perpetuated...Therefore Nature attains her ends by implanting in the individual a certain illusion by which something which is in reality advantageous to the species alone seems to be advantageous to himself... Arthur Schopenhauer on the Metaphysics of Love
posted by shivohum
on Jun 17, 2014 -
Most research on casual sex is done with college students. As a consequence, we know very little about hookup experiences of non-college students: those who never went to college, those who just finished college, and those who can barely remember their college years. At The Casual Sex Project, everyone is welcome, regardless of age, gender, race/ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, religious affiliation… The more stories – and the more diverse stories – the better!
The Casual Sex Project
was set up by doctor/sex researcher Zhana Vrangalova
to, well, share stories about casual sex in a non-prurient, non-judgmental matter. It's of course NSFW.
posted by MartinWisse
on Jun 3, 2014 -
What if we admitted to children that sex is primarily about pleasure?
I realized why my son was confused. He was thinking “accidentally getting pregnant” was like accidentally burning yourself because you didn’t realize the stove was on. “Sweetie,” I explained, “most of the time that people have sex, they’re not having it to have a baby. They’re having it because it feels good. So you can get accidentally pregnant if you’re having sex for pleasure and you don’t use effective birth control.”
The consequences of talking honestly with children about sex, by Alice Dreger
. [more inside]
posted by medusa
on Jun 2, 2014 -
of Kenilworth, Ill,
is now the winningest woman in Jeopardy!
history, the third winningest non-tournament player, and she isn't done. She'll be playing her 20th game tomorrow night, wherein followers hope she'll break the $400,000 mark on her steady climb.
You can catch up on her run at YouTube.
One of the champions whose records she has now surpassed is Arthur Chu
, who has also made big waves this week, speaking out on misogyny in geek culture,
in response to the murders in Isla Vista. Writes Chu: The overall problem is one of a culture where instead of seeing women as, you know, people, protagonists of their own stories just like we are of ours, men are taught that women are things to 'earn,' to 'win.'
The show's history and the iconic host's banter seem to reveal
that in terms of gender, Jeopardy!
is not, as etymology would have it, "an evenly divided game," but could this be the year things change?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur
on May 29, 2014 -
This month, the US Public Health Service released
(PDF) the first comprehensive clinical practice guidelines for PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) which outlines the criteria for determining a person’s HIV risk and indications for PrEP use. (PrEP FAQ
) The CDC states
, "When taken consistently, PrEP has been shown to reduce the risk of HIV infection in people who are at high risk by up to 92%. PrEP is much less effective if it is not taken consistently." The FDA's approved drug — Truvada — that was previously approved for H.I.V. treatment in 2004, is now approved it for prevention of HIV transmission. (Truvada previously
) [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen
on May 23, 2014 -
A small but significant number of theologians, psychologists, and other conservative Christians are beginning to develop moral arguments that it’s possible to affirm same-sex relationships not in spite of orthodox theology, but within it. In books, academic journals, magazines, blog posts, speeches, conferences, and campus clubs, they are steadily building a case that there is a place in the traditional evangelical church for sexually active gay people in committed, monogamous relationships. They argue that the Bible, read properly, doesn't condemn such relationships at all—and neither should committed Christians.
Can the evangelical church embrace gay couples? Here Matthew Vines speaks to each of the 'clobber' passages used to attack homosexuality in engaging detail and describes his vision for the role of gay Christians in the church. (1:07:18) [more inside]
posted by Blasdelb
on May 13, 2014 -
bell hooks calls Beyonce a "terrorist" and a "slave"
At a panel discussion at the New School yesterday, bell hooks raised eyebrows in a conversation about the controversial Time
magazine cover seen here,
saying that Beyonce "colluded in the construction of herself as a slave," going on to say “I see a part of Beyoncé that is in fact anti-feminist — that is, a terrorist, especially in terms of the impact on young girls.” [more inside]
posted by zeusianfog
on May 8, 2014 -
Whether it's the constant fretting over Miley Cyrus
' influence on school girls or the growing (and troubling) tradition of Purity Balls
, it's clear that society has a fascination with young women's sexuality — especially when it comes to controlling it. But what are we actually teaching today's girls about sex? Fueled by outdated ideals of gender roles and the sense that female sexuality is somehow shameful, there seem to be certain pernicious myths about girls and sex that just won't die. That sex education in America has gaping holes in its curriculum hasn't helped much, either; in a recent Centers for Disease Control (CDC) report
just 6 out of 10 girls said that their schools' sex ed program included information on how to say no to sex. This lack of personal agency was reflected in a forthcoming study by sociologist Heather Hlavka at Marquette University
as well, which found that many young girls think of sex simply as something that is "done to them." Knowledge is power, and we can promote a healthier relationship with sex by encouraging a more open dialogue, teaching girls to feel comfortable with their sexuality and, most importantly, emphasizing that their bodies are theirs and theirs alone.
But first, we're going to need to stop perpetuating the following 17 myths about female sexuality. [more inside]
posted by Blasdelb
on Apr 28, 2014 -
So there you are, having sex, on top of a guy, and you’re probably naked, and that’s, you know, that’s great. But now you’re wondering how to move around up there. Well, this one time I had sex once, and I was on top. I would get tired and fall across the body of the woman I was plowing love into. I got a cramp and, trying to get off, dug my elbows into her rib cage, which made her scream in pain. I thought that was an orgasm, so then I orgasmed, and then it was over. I blew it big time there. Just don’t do that. [more inside]
posted by mikeand1
on Apr 24, 2014 -
Why are Christians so concerned about sex?
When English interpretations of the New Testament talk about ‘sexual immorality’ they are really translating the Greek word porneia (πορνεία), it’s used almost every time the topic of sex comes up and often when talking about the worst sins in general. If you can really grok what Paul was talking about as he uses the root for the word over and over again (it appears 32 times in the New Testament) then the rest falls into place. Now porneia has always been translated into Latin as fornication, while being understood by many conservatives to just be a 1:1 stand in for ‘any sexual expression not between husband and wife’. However, Porneia in post-classical Corinthian Greek did not mean generic sexual sin, or even sex outside of marriage, at all exactly and neither did fornication in actual Latin. The truth, like in many things, is a little bit more complicated and a lot more interesting.
TRIGGER WARNINGS AHEAD FOR DEPICTIONS OF SEXUAL EXPLOITATION IN CLASSICAL GREECE, ALSO AN NSFW VASE. (SFW version
[via mefi projects
posted by jaduncan
on Mar 26, 2014 -