Forget First World Problems. Fifth World Problems are irritations of Lovecraftian proportions. Stuck between alternate dimensions? Plagued by neighboring hyperlizards? Is your quantum state beginning to crystallize? You've got Fifth World Problems.
posted by overeducated_alligator on Aug 4, 2011 - 23 comments

This is your biology textbook. This is your biology textbook on drugs. Any questions?
posted by jonp72 on May 5, 2009 - 37 comments

"1 Crunchwrap Supreme + 1 OCTO-MAC + 20 or so Taco Bell Fire Sauce packets + Taco Bell Cheese Sauce + Bacos + Garfield's Macaroni & Beef + A splash of Jim Beam + Approximately 2 cups of salsa = GODKILLER, for why else would it exist but to kill God?" [more inside]
posted by Del Far on Apr 2, 2008 - 64 comments

Nothing To Do With Arbroath [more inside]
posted by jtron on Feb 29, 2008 - 5 comments

Doctors successfully removed a two-inch nail from a man's genitals yesterday. Doctors pulled the nail out of his urethra on their first attempt and later said the man could have died if the object had not been spotted on X-ray. The man had admitted himself to SMC on Sunday night with extreme abdominal pain and was unable to speak. The man told doctors the last thing he remembered was having something sprayed in his face and being fondled by one of his assailants before he blacked out. [more inside]
posted by Henry C. Mabuse on Feb 14, 2008 - 56 comments

Astronaut charged with kidnap attempt. It's current, it's for real, and each paragraph is weirder than the last.
posted by NortonDC on Feb 5, 2007 - 206 comments

D. F. Lewis: Weirdmonger. "Lewis is either a genius graced with madness, a madman cursed with genius, both, or neither ... But there is more to Lewis than that. Believe you me, my pretties. Oh yes, much more. Because every so often you catch sight of something stirring beneath the frosted surfaces of his dreamy prose, something brilliant yet dark and brooding, something revelatory, something true, something that were you to see it all in a single glance would burn you to a cinder; but you still want to see; it speaks to you. In sibilant whispers. It tells you something you've been waiting to hear."—SAMHAIN review of BEST OF DF LEWIS. "I have a paranoid sensation that I'm always being followed by DF Lewis ... he's always there to torment me ... I can't get away from him even if I switch genres... Is he for real or did somebody invent him purely to annoy me?"—Problem page of OVERSPACE #13. "Then I turned over the page and AAARGH! DF f**king Lewis again!"—from THE SCANNER #11. "DF Lewis? When he's bad, he's awful, but when he's good there's no-one can touch him."—Rhys Hughes.
posted by Sticherbeast on Sep 20, 2006 - 1 comment

Competitive eating continues to go from strength to strength in the USA. But there has to be another, more subtle role for a Horseman of the Oesophagus. Step forward Steve, a man who eats weird stuff so that we don't have to.
posted by PeterMcDermott on Sep 7, 2006 - 21 comments

Man spends $100k on imaginary nightclub to tax those who hunt its native dinosaurs. Man is likely to make a profit. <bgsound>
posted by Pretty_Generic on Nov 13, 2005 - 30 comments

daily show slash fiction
posted by Pretty_Generic on Sep 26, 2005 - 50 comments

The Dolmette. It's a motorcycle, see. But it's not a normal motorcycle, 'cause it's powered by 24 chain saw engines.
posted by mr_crash_davis on Oct 20, 2004 - 11 comments

His name is Mr Freetime, he has 2,967 copies of Moero!! Pro Baseball for the Famicom. He knows how to use them.
posted by nthdegx on Aug 6, 2003 - 11 comments

Harry Partch: "iconoclastic American composer, musical theorist, philosophic instrument builder, raconteur, hobo, artist -- presents unique challenges and aesthetics." A huge influence on the weirder work of Tom Waits and a great craftsman, his work is still being performed today, albeit with some difficulty.

And, of course, there's always controversy.
posted by PinkStainlessTail on Jul 30, 2002 - 4 comments

Answer Yes or No and don't lie. Do you blame the society? If you answer yes to this and 39 other questions (Do you believe in bad eye?), you may qualify to donate $40 to $39,000 to Saeid Yomtobian and "your life will turn into a positive mode immediately because of your decision to bond with the universe." The man who brings you www.iwantjesus.com is looking for a little help in his mission to "promote the message of peace www.iwantjesus.com Through out the world." You can also find the site via some of its alternate urls, including www.fucksf.com, www.iwanttokillyou.com, www.sexbyanimals.com, and many more. Don't miss this crazy story about his meeting with the Dalai Lama from the man who registered www.killthepresident.com for a beastiality site. Would the man who pledged to me that he would "continue to fight until all the injustices and corruptions come to stop" really be responsible for an strangely brilliant ad banner scam? Maybe, maybe not. At least his weird sex education school is only $39.99 a month! Indeed, the internet life of Saeid Yomtobian is a complicated and mysterious one.
posted by ztt on Jun 27, 2001 - 10 comments