89 posts tagged with adoption.
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They Deserve Better

NYC Public Advocate Letitia James and 10 children in foster care have filed a federal class action lawsuit [PDF, trigger warning] against the child welfare agencies of New York City and New York State, alleging "that the city’s Administration for Children’s Services fails to provide the services, planning and caseworker training to help children find permanent families before they suffer irreparable harm".
posted by ThePinkSuperhero on Jul 8, 2015 - 15 comments

On My Mom, The Sex She Had, and The Adoption She Didn’t Plan

"For my mother and women like her, now in the final chapters of their lives, people crave a narrative that forces adoption as the only possible solution." "Overwhelmingly then, adoptive parents, like myself, decide how the mothers who birthed our children should be perceived." [more inside]
posted by xarnop on May 9, 2015 - 39 comments

"I'm not one of those who will ever say to you 'No regrets.'"

Kate Mulgrew tells the Chicago Tribune's Heidi Stevens about giving her daughter up for adoption and reconnecting 20 years later (Video). [more inside]
posted by Pater Aletheias on Apr 25, 2015 - 13 comments

"May you always know you are loved," I whispered.

"It's completely alone," I said. That baby, that poor baby. What had it done? "Nobody is coming for it."

Softly she asked, "Would it be OK if we called it 'her'?"

It was then as though my therapist's finger grew very long. It arced through the air, crossing the space between us, and touched my chest, the tip of it pressing into my heart, and my body collapsed around it, folded in on itself from pain, the worst pain I had ever felt because it had no source. I was the pain. I saw that baby on her back, alone, and I understood that she was me. In that moment I was flooded—intellectually, emotionally, physically—by the very knowledge I had so long barricaded myself against: that someone had given birth to me. And worse: that I had not been fit to keep.
A meditation on adoption, heartbreak, and healing, by Sarah Church Baldwin for The Rumpus: Build-A-Bear.
posted by divined by radio on Apr 20, 2015 - 29 comments

New scrutiny on re-homing of adopted kids

"Re-homing" is the largely unregulated practice by which parents of adopted children in the U.S. hand over those children to new families, with little or no government oversight. While some states started cracking down last year, the issue has gained new attention with the story of Arkansas Representative Justin Harris and his wife. They adopted a pair of girls, 3 and 6, who proved more troublesome than they seemed. Harris and his wife gave the girls to a worker in the religious school he owned, who subsequently raped the 6-year-old. The girls' previous foster family has now raised questions about Harris' story. [Previously, a 2013 Reuters investigation: The Child Exchange - Inside America's underground market for adopted children] [more inside]
posted by mediareport on Mar 9, 2015 - 61 comments

People do not naturally assume that my family is a family.

Friends often try to assure me that people mean well, urging me to go easy on them, to be gracious, to give people the benefit of the doubt. "People don't mean to be offensive," they tell me. "They just don't know how to say it without coming across that way."

What these friends don't understand is that when the act of defining your family structure becomes an expected part of every day of your entire life, you grow tired of being gracious. It's exhausting to have strangers view your life as an up-for-grabs educational experience. For my kid, it's to constantly hear the underlying message: "Your life, your family, doesn't make sense to me. Someone needs to explain it to me. You owe me an explanation."

It's the people who live comfortably inside majorities who tend to discount any sort of commentary from minorities as being "overly sensitive." And I imagine that it's hard to step back and grasp the fact that when the world you occupy is built to accommodate you, you fit inside the boxes. You make sense. You are expected.
Nishta Mehra writes about her family's experience with learning how to navigate the landscape of interracial adoption in a "post-racial" America: Black Is the Color of My True Love's Hair.
posted by divined by radio on Mar 4, 2015 - 51 comments

"In Chinese, mei-mei means sister."

Best friends forever: Separated in China, 2 girls reunite in U.S.
Mae and Mai spent the first years of their lives in the same orphanage in southern China, before they were adopted by families on opposite coasts of the United States. They were inseparable in China. As close as sisters. They ate together and played together, and even after they were moved to separate foster families in the same town, they went to school together and often shared meals at one girl’s home. Adoption may have saved their lives, but they both lost someone they loved.

This week, four years after the best friends were split up, the girls reunited in Oakland, where they’re receiving treatment for the same genetic blood disease at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital Oakland.

posted by Lexica on Mar 2, 2015 - 6 comments

"Today, both families hope to do what’s best for Karen."

The Limits of Jurisdiction: in Guernica, Erin Siegal McIntyre writes about her six-year investigation into corruption and crime in international adoptions from Guatemala, as exposed through the story of one little girl. "For the past six years, the child known as Karen has lived in Missouri with her adoptive parents, Timothy and Jennifer Monahan. But Loyda Rodríguez and Dayner Hernández, a young Guatemalan couple, are convinced the child is their daughter, Anyelí, who was kidnapped in November 2006. Although a Guatemalan judge ruled that Karen should be returned to Guatemala in 2011, the Monahans have kept her." [more inside]
posted by nicebookrack on Dec 2, 2014 - 46 comments

When My Mom Was an Astronaut

Jennifer Peepas (aka Captain Awkward) writes about infinite parallel universes from the perspective of an adopted child.
posted by automatic cabinet on Nov 21, 2014 - 8 comments

Crowdfunding to Build Your Family

Should we crowdfund families? The cost of some adoptions or fertility treatments have people turning to Crowdfunding. Growing your family has never been more public. [more inside]
posted by Blisterlips on Nov 3, 2014 - 49 comments

A raccoon of my own

Only a handful of all the animal species on earth can be tamed, but that doesn’t stop a homesick girl of 15 from trying
posted by Joe in Australia on Jul 30, 2014 - 31 comments

Maybe not.

Studies show that abused or neglected children placed in foster care face lifelong challenges greater than children who remain with their families.
posted by roomthreeseventeen on May 13, 2014 - 57 comments

Wow, are those real?

If you wouldn’t say it about a boob job . . . (a guide for adoption questions)
posted by ThePinkSuperhero on Apr 25, 2014 - 50 comments

Florida's Shame

"After Florida cut down on protections for children in troubled homes, deaths soared. The children died in ways cruel, outlandish, predictable and preventable." [more inside]
posted by quadrilaterals on Apr 9, 2014 - 60 comments

220 chicken adoptions

“I’ve been cursed at over the phone because we couldn’t take someone’s unwanted rooster.”
posted by spamandkimchi on Mar 18, 2014 - 63 comments

"I became a hell child."

Growing up in a Romanian orphanage, Izidor Ruckel just wanted to get out. Now, he makes it his mission to raise awareness of the suffering of other orphans who remain institutionalized. [more inside]
posted by chainsofreedom on Jan 31, 2014 - 10 comments

Hana Williams' Story: How a rescue adoption lead to a preventable death

Foreign adoptions by large, evangelical families may begin happily, but patterns of neglect and dysfunction have Seattle area communities questioning their benefits. (SLSlate) [more inside]
posted by warm_planet on Nov 15, 2013 - 86 comments

The girls who went away, and the house they left behind

Before the days of Roe v. Wade (and sometimes after) girls who got pregnant were sent away. Now one of the places that housed them is closing. [more inside]
posted by newrambler on Nov 12, 2013 - 18 comments

The highs and lows of caring for a drug-dependent baby

In a long-running mumsnet.com thread, a UK foster mum tells the heartbreaking story of looking after a newborn baby girl suffering from drug addition. It's a long read, but worth it.
posted by low_horrible_immoral on Nov 5, 2013 - 10 comments

An orphan goes to church and asks someone, anyone to adopt him

This had been his idea. He'd heard something about God helping people who help themselves. So here he was, on a Sunday in September, surrounded by strangers, taking his future into his own sweaty hands.
posted by SkylitDrawl on Oct 16, 2013 - 23 comments

The New Diaspora: African-American Babies Adopted Outside of the US

Many African-American and mixed race babies offered for adoption are finding new homes in Europe and outside of the US. (SLCNN)
posted by tafetta, darling! on Sep 17, 2013 - 24 comments

Regret your international adoption? There's an app for that!

"I am totally ashamed to say it but we do truly hate this boy!" Reuters has published an investigative piece on parents trading or giving away their adopted children. A disturbing practice brought to you by the internet, Yahoo! message boards, and a near-total lack of oversight by any authority.
posted by prefpara on Sep 9, 2013 - 150 comments

Another thing to blame your parents for

A layperson-friendly analysis of a seminal (1100+ cites) study on obesity that found no correlation between environment/upbringing and obesity, whilst finding very strong correlation between genetic heritage and obesity. To sum up: adopted children's body weight matches their biological parents, not their adoptive parents.
posted by seanmpuckett on Jul 29, 2013 - 67 comments

"We went from Africa to Africa"

"Orphan theology" in the evangelical Christian movement in the United States. One mother described herself as "a dumpster diving orphan lunatic" who was still "afflicted with my Orphan Obsession" after bearing two kids and adopting four more.
posted by spamandkimchi on Apr 16, 2013 - 32 comments

We Found Our Son in the Subway

“I found a baby!” he shouted. “I called 911, but I don’t think they believed me." (SLNYT)
posted by neroli on Feb 28, 2013 - 68 comments

"My Baby, Not My Child"

Callie Mitchell, a 25-year-old student and photographer, documented her pregnancy and decision to place her child for adoption. Photographs.
posted by lalex on Feb 26, 2013 - 15 comments

112 lb newborn photos

The face is angelic, the lighting soft and the subject is napping peacefully – just the way a newborn photo shoot should look. It took 13 years, but Latrell Higgins finally has his baby photos.
posted by waving on Feb 13, 2013 - 47 comments

Maternal Instinct

Animals Adopting Other Animals (SLYPlaylist)
posted by empath on Jan 9, 2013 - 8 comments

gentle observer

Why People Really Love Technology: An Interview with Genevieve Bell The thing I love about Intel researcher Genevieve Bell is that she finds surprising things by looking at what's left out of the dominant narratives about technology. She finds data that's ignored because it didn't fit into the paradigm of, say, how people adopt technology. The dominant narrative is that young men determine the popularity of phones, computers, websites, and the like. But when Bell looked at the data, the story we told ourselves about how the world worked was not reflected in the numbers. That's why I wanted to talk to her about what gadgets people around the world might be using over the next decade. I figured she was someone who could look past the conventional wisdom and find the missing pieces of the future
posted by infini on Nov 29, 2012 - 30 comments

<3

The Beautiful Daughter: How My Korean Mother Gave Me the Courage to Transition
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Nov 25, 2012 - 29 comments

Farmer's Dilemma

"Farmer's Dilemma" is a short, sad and beautiful comic about family and acceptance. From Sam Alden's art blog, GINGERLAND.
posted by teraflop on Nov 14, 2012 - 13 comments

[INSERT STORMTROOPER HEIGHT REFERENCE HERE]

In 2010, 1st grader Katie Goldman was the bullied kid at her school for being a girl who was into Star Wars (which is, of course, only for boys). Geeks and fans across the net rallied to give moral support to Katie ("The Littlest Jedi") for standing up for who she wanted to be. Katie and her mother went on to lead an anti-bullying effort at Katie's school (which now observes December 10th as "Proud To Be Me Day") and Katie became a symbol of geek pride and anti-bullying, standing up at a birthday party for a boy who wanted to have his nails painted like the girls were getting. The experience became the source of book Bullied. In 2012, it was Katie's turn to show geek solidarity. The 501st Legion/"Vader's Fist", who had been so supportive when her story went viral, were now among those being taunted online for their cosplay geekery at a con, and Katie wanted to be a stormtrooper for Halloween to show her support. When the troopers heard that, the 501st's First Imperial Stormtrooper Detachment came together to raise the funds/materials/expertise and build a full-on custom-fitted set of proper stormtrooper armor ('77 movie specs and all), with just days to spare before Halloween, as a gift for the little girl whose courage inspired them so much. [more inside]
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey on Nov 2, 2012 - 61 comments

A Family That Will Accept You No Matter What

"I'm a 41 year old mom of two teenage boys. My oldest is gay and has the full support of both of his parents and his brother. If your family won't accept you, in honor of the day, I will be happy to virtually adopt you if you want to come out to a family that will accept you no matter what. "
posted by yankeefog on Oct 12, 2012 - 27 comments

A difficult decision.

"Boxes where parents can leave an unwanted baby, common in medieval Europe, have been making a comeback over the last 10 years. Supporters say a heated box, monitored by nurses, is better for babies than abandonment on the street - but the UN says it violates the rights of the child." [more inside]
posted by sio42 on Jun 26, 2012 - 121 comments

Give and Take

Given or Taken – an ABC television documentary by the usually excellent 4 Corners looks at a period in the nation’s history when unwed mothers were forced, coerced or tricked into giving up their babies- often without holding or even seeing their newborn. Writer Kim Berry describes a little of what it was like to be relinquished by her teen mum.
posted by mattoxic on Mar 2, 2012 - 7 comments

Hannah and Andrew

In 2006, Hannah Overton was charged with the death of her 4-year-old foster son, Andrew Burd. Media accounts at the time claimed that Overton had force-fed her misbehaving son a mixture of water and creole seasoning, leading to death by salt poisoning. Convicted of capital murder and sentenced to life without parole in 2008, Overton's case led angry bloggers to call her "the ultimate evil," part of a cult of "child abuse groupies," a murderer that "church cronies" are working to free.

This month's issue of Texas Monthly paints a fuller picture of the short life of Andrew Burd and the conviction of the mother who was working towards adopting him.
posted by mudpuppie on Dec 20, 2011 - 79 comments

For the sake of the children

In the state of Virginia, it is now legal for licensed adoption agencies and foster facilities to discriminate on the basis of a potential parent's sexual orientation, religion, age, gender, disability, political beliefs, or family status. [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Dec 16, 2011 - 60 comments

Surely this..

A new BBC Documentary titled This World: Spain's Stolen Babies alleges that up to three hundred thousand Spanish infants were stolen from their mothers at birth over a fifty year period, and then sold by the Catholic Church through illicit adoption services.
posted by FatherDagon on Oct 17, 2011 - 64 comments

Who’s your daddy?

Boston attorney and one time sperm donor Ben Seisler keeps track of his biological children on an Excel spreadsheet.
posted by T.D. Strange on Sep 30, 2011 - 60 comments

"She understands everything. There's so much more in her than she lets us see."

Three years later, 'The Girl in the Window' learns to connect. An update on the progress of Danielle Lierow, a so-called "feral child" who was the subject of a Pulitzer Prize-winning special report in the St. Petersburg Times. Unlike another famously neglected young girl, Dani has not been the subject of intense scientific scrutiny, and appears to be living a normal family life as a well-loved special needs child--albeit one in a family in a rural area where resources, and access to services via Medicaid, are sometimes limited. [more inside]
posted by availablelight on Aug 21, 2011 - 29 comments

Guatamalan Mother Searches Five Years for Daughter

In a case that is rocking the international adoption world, a Guatemalan judge has ordered the return of a six year old girl to her biological family. [more inside]
posted by zizzle on Aug 19, 2011 - 221 comments

Babies without intended parents

Babies by nobody and for nobody are an institution in France and a hundred-thousand+ dollar illegal commodity in LA. [more inside]
posted by Salamandrous on Aug 13, 2011 - 28 comments

The Makeni Children

Everything went silent, Judi told me, as if she'd been pulled underwater. She read the sentences over and over, trying to comprehend them.
The boy Sulaiman Suma had been looking for all these years was her 16-year-old son, Samuel.
Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. [more inside]
posted by Joe in Australia on Aug 10, 2011 - 12 comments

They call her "mommy."

Four years ago, Katie Davis was homecoming queen at her high school in Brentwood, Tenn. She had a yellow convertible and planned to study nursing in college. But those plans changed just a little.Today, she's in Uganda, sharing her home with 13 orphaned or abandoned girls, ages 2 to 15.(second link has sound)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies on Jul 9, 2011 - 228 comments

Doggelgänger: Human-Canine Matching Software

Dogglegänger will analyse the contours of your face and present you with the adoptable dog who bears you the closest resemblance.
posted by nicolas léonard sadi carnot on Jun 6, 2011 - 58 comments

A Step In The Right Direction

Tomorrow will be the first time gay and lesbian couples will be able to enjoy civil-unions in the state of Illinois. The full text of the Bill can be read here. In response, Catholic Charities is ending foster care and adoption services to avoid serving same-sex parents.
posted by gman on Jun 1, 2011 - 77 comments

'These children don’t recognize the flags of their home countries, but they can all sing "Jesus Loves Me."'

The Evangelical Adoption Crusade [more inside]
posted by zarq on Apr 28, 2011 - 137 comments

Where Do Babies Come From, and Where Do They Go?

Interactive map of international adoptions, from the superlative Schuster Institute for Investigative Journalism. The site contains an amazing amount of information about corruption in international adoption in countries like Nepal and Vietnam.
posted by the young rope-rider on Apr 19, 2011 - 18 comments

Adoption Disruption

“We need to honor and recognize that adoption is different and not a replacement for birth children we never had. Not until then can we really embrace how adoption really is different and how we need to go about parenting differently. Social workers have to speak the truth about that.” An excellent, thorough, and even-handed article about adoption disruption.
posted by the young rope-rider on Apr 5, 2011 - 46 comments

Fosterhood

In 2009, there were 423,773 children in foster care in the U.S., one of those children is "Jacket," who at age 20 months in December 2009 was placed into foster care with her foster mother Rebecca. Rebecca, single and in her early 30s, had already fostered a few young children and started blogging about it. [more inside]
posted by k8t on Mar 25, 2011 - 42 comments

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