MetaFilter posts tagged with adoption

He looks just like him.

Balisong — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:08:18 -0800

Matthew Roberts, a 41-year-old DJ who lives in Los Angeles, said the shock of discovering his father sent him into depression.

Terminating an Adoption

lalex — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 22:43:19 -0800

Anita Tedaldi shares her experience terminating an adoption at the NYTimes blog Motherlode. Her response to the support and criticism in comments is here; in a subsequent Motherlode post Lisa Belkin muses on the ethics of blogging about children.

"If other people have failed him... I will not be the one to fail him."

micketymoc — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 20:39:10 -0800

The child you saved by adopting him might just save you in return. A quiet first-person story of how a married guy became a single dad to an adopted son - the wife moved on, but the boy remained. (SLYahooV)

Won't Someone Think of the Parents?!

grapefruitmoon — Sun, 10 May 2009 07:43:05 -0800

International Adoption may not necessarily be helping the disadvantaged in Third World countries as advertised. In some countries, like Guatemala and India, children are simply stolen from their families. The Hague Convention governs the rules for International Adoptions, but like all rules, they aren't always followed. Many adoptive parents believe that their children have been given up, but in some countries, "orphanage" doesn't mean what you think it means. Even in China, where girls have been legitimately abandoned due to the "one child" policy, the demand for adoptable children has simply outstripped the supply, leading to stealing babies. In other cases, parents are offered incentives to sell their children to orphanages.

Witness to a womb

dejah420 — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:09:57 -0800

Sixteen states already have laws [PDF] related to abortion ultrasounds . Eleven more states have recently introduced bills that demand that a woman who wants an abortion be forced to look at the ultrasound, while a doctor describes what she is seeing. All of these bills are because the legislators believe that adoption is the only choice a woman should make. This essay, On Living Pro-Lifer's Choice for Women, explores the difficulties faced by birth mothers who choose that path.

Do you know these children?

Asparagirl — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 12:32:10 -0800

Do you, or an older relative of yours, recognize any of these children? More than 70 children separated from their families during WWII, now all elderly men and women, are using the Internet to try to find some answers about their pasts, their families, and sometimes even their own names. They are soliciting help and suggestions in the comments sections on each story. Sadly typical story: "The infant was hungry and crying, so her mother asked for milk from a Polish couple that happened to be on the train station. The Polish man brought milk for the baby. Then the Jewish mother asked if they would want to take the baby as their own because she could not keep it. This couple did not have any children, so after some consideration, they agreed. They asked the Jewish mother who she was, but she told them that it was better for them and for the baby not to know who she was. She then gave her newborn baby girl, who was probably one month old, to the Polish couple. The Polish couple raised the girl as if she was their biological daughter and never told her how she had come into the family. The girl grew up, married and had a son. It is this son who wants to find his Jewish roots..."

Hope Generator

yiftach — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 12:53:36 -0800

Generations of Hope is a non-profit set up to bring kids out of foster care and into extended families with grandparents. The community of Hope Meadows was repurposed from housing on a closed Air Force base in Illinois. (The NYT article erroneously refers to the community by the non-profit's name. No matter. The story is still inspirational.) As an adoptive dad (about to become a biological dad for the first time) with parents in town for my kids to enjoy and vice versa (not to mention plenty of friends with parents on the other side of the country or the world who don't have it so good), I'm thrilled to see organized support, however small, for this idea. Intergenerational childrearing has countless benefits for all involved, and I can only hope that the efforts to replicate the success of Hope Meadows are successful.

Princess Chunk - she ain't heavy, she's my fuzzy buddy

porn in the woods — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:31:53 -0800

Are you looking for a nice, big kitty to let into your heart? Princess Chunk, at 44 pounds, might fit the bill nicely. Just two pounds shy of the world's record, the pudgy kitty was roaming sans collar in Voorhees, NJ and is now in good hands at the Camden County Animal Shelter. Chunker's owners have until Saturday to claim their big pal - after that, this big quarterback of a kitty is ready for a loving home.

You look familiar.

granted — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 23:20:27 -0800

Two Spanish women meet in their late twenties and realize that they're identical twins. The hospital had accidentally swapped one with another random newborn, and each family had unknowingly taken home the wrong baby. Now all three women - the two actual twins, and the one fake twin - are suing the hospital, who seriously did not have their act together. But there are all sorts of ways this could happen. For example...

One could be adopted from Mexico by an American family, while the birth mother runs off with the other. (Adrianna Scott and Tamara Rabi)
One might be secretly stolen by the doctors who delivered her, their mother not even knowing she was pregnant with twins. (Andrea Freire and Marielisa Romo)
Their mom might get two boys back from foster care, and wrongly assume that both are her twins instead of just one. (George Cain and Brent Tremblay, the latter not to be confused with the hockey player who is apparently going to Heaven.)
Or they might be secretly separated by researchers studying identical twins raised apart. (Paula Bernstein and Elyse Schein) (By the way, "Of the 13 children involved in the study, three sets of twins and one set of triplets have discovered one another. One or two sets of twins may still not know they have an identical twin.")

Others: Tom Patterson and Steve Tazumi Jim Lewis and Jim Springer, the "Jim Twins" Daphne Goodship and Barbara Herbert, the "Giggle Twins" Debbie Mehlman and Sharon Poset Roger Brooks and Tony Milasi Sharon McKendrick and Susan Evers And: 1997 Psychology Today article The Minnesota Center for Twin & Family Research

Is adoption the best option?

InnocentBystander — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 14:24:46 -0800

After outrage was sparked by a Dutch couple who abandoned their Korean adopted daughter in Hong Kong (and they wouldn't be the first couple to consider returning an adopted child like a shelter puppy) some may start to wonder whether adoption is an unmitigated good. Foreign adoptions are especially prone to accusations of child buying, and some adoptees are mad as hell at the racism inherent in the adoption trade. Even domestic adoption is criticized by some for being traumatic to both mothers and their children.

Daddy and I

Jasper Friendly Bear — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 21:14:28 -0800

Pictures of white men and their adopted Chinese daughters by photographer O. Zhang

Who are these people who have taken me out of my home and what gives them the right?

Methylviolet — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 11:23:14 -0800

FosterClub is an online resource for kids in foster care, providing answers, inspiration, even downloadable forms to give to caseworkers, as well as a sister site for older kids.

Canadian province says child can have 3 parents on birth certificate.

IronWolve — Thu, 04 Jan 2007 00:05:27 -0800

Canadian province says child can have 3 parents on birth certificate. Canada approved 2 mothers and father on birth certificate, allowing the lesbian family and birth father to have full legal parental rights. A major step in Lesbian and Fathers rights. Judicial activism or catching up to the reality of families in modern day? The battle continues.

Fighting Hate with Ridicule

amberglow — Fri, 24 Feb 2006 14:58:04 -0800

Ohio Senator: Bar adoptions by the GOP ---In response to Ohio Senator Hood's bill to bar adoption by gays and lesbians, one Senator uses humor to counter hate: ...To further lampoon Hood's bill, Hagan wrote in his mock proposal that ``credible research' shows that adopted children raised in Republican households are more at risk for developing ``emotional problems, social stigmas, inflated egos, and alarming lack of tolerance for others they deem different than themselves and an air of overconfidence to mask their insecurities.' However, Hagan admitted that he has no scientific evidence to support the above claims. Just as ``Hood had no scientific evidence' to back his assertion that having gay parents was detrimental to children, Hagan said. ...

Hi, Mommy

yankeefog — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 07:04:13 -0800

Did the blue dress ever exist? Regina Louise had a miserable childhood, shuttled from foster home to foster home, at best ignored at best and at worst abused. There was only one happy memory from her childhood: the time she spent with the sole foster mother to ever show her love. But that woman had vanished from Louise's life years ago, and it seemed unlikely they'd ever meet again... (Warning: this newspaper article may make you cry.)

Prince Marty

SuzySmith — Mon, 30 May 2005 10:13:46 -0800

From Minnesota to Nigeria - Marty was born in the USA and adopted at three years old. In his late 30s he found his biological parents, a woman named Kathleen and a Chief from Nigeria, making him a Nigerian Prince. via Chookooloonks

The Foster Agenda

Mean Mr. Bucket — Wed, 20 Apr 2005 11:34:58 -0800

"It is our responsibility to make sure that we protect our most vulnerable children and I don't think we are doing that if we allow a foster parent that is homosexual or bisexual." The Texas state House has approved legislation that would prohibit homosexuals and bisexuals from becoming foster parents.

I wailed and rent my son

kenko — Mon, 18 Apr 2005 16:53:20 -0800

RentMySon is a subsidiary of ChildNet Services, with its corporate headquarters in San Diego, CA. In addition, we also maintain 4 regional offices across the United States.
RentMySon provides safe and trustworthy child-rental services in multiple metropolitan areas.

Bastard Nation

mediareport — Mon, 31 Jan 2005 06:07:32 -0800

"Why is my birth certificate a state secret?" asks Bastard Nation. The group's fight for unconditional access to non-falsified birth records - start with The Basic Bastard, including a history of sealed adoption records in the USA - has enemies, which of course include Fox's "Who's Your Daddy?"

Adopted family values

u.n. owen — Mon, 27 Dec 2004 10:43:34 -0800

The Evan Parker Scott case bears more than a passing resemblance to the Baby Richard case of several years ago. Once more, a toddler who barely knows what's going on is being confiscated by the parent who gave him up in the first place. Is the domestic adoption system broken?

Blog babes

arielmeadow — Thu, 05 Feb 2004 18:37:58 -0800

Remember Dooce who lost her job for her blog? She's just given birth to a daughter. With Mimi Smartypants' recent adoption, and Defective Yeti expecting in a few weeks, there seems to be a bit of a blogger baby boom underway.

No more Scarlet Letter!

aacheson — Fri, 25 Apr 2003 11:41:02 -0800

Is this your fetus? Are you the one I slept with? Remember when we discussed this before? Florida has now been forced by 4 plaintiffs and the ACLU to repeal the so-called Scarlet Letter law that forces women who are pregnant and giving children up for adoption to take out an ad local papers once a week for 4 weeks, stating her name and her sexual history in the last year, to let men know if they *might* be the father. Here is the ACLU legal brief. The details about the decision are in the first link. Thank god for the ACLU.

Browsing for adoptions in Alberta

mcwetboy — Tue, 11 Feb 2003 13:14:39 -0800

Yesterday, the Province of Alberta launched an adoption web site for its foster care children. Detailed and often heartbreaking profiles of each child are available, including their background and behavioural problems (many, for example, suffer from fetal alcohol effect). But critics complain that too much information about the children is being made available, and that the site is reducing the children to the level of commodities. (Not the first adoption web site, but it's a first for a Canadian province, I think.)

XQUZYPHYR — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 20:27:33 -0800

Embryos can be donated on the slippery sloped side of town. Though proposed by pro-choice, pro-stem-cell-research Arlen Specter, the Bush administration is pushing for a pubilc awareness program that promotes donating unused embryos to infertile couples. Of course, Bush's insistence on using the term "embryo adoption-" a term never used by any clinic in the program, but strangely used by a Christian anti-abortion/pro-adoption agency, coupled with the knowledge that Bush has jumped at virtually anything that remotely could lead to redefining the status of a fetus, leads to the inevitable question: does Bush really care about getting more infertile couples to have children, or is this a(nother) subversive attempt to Federally promote the idea that a cell cluster is the same as a newborn infant?

dejah420 — Wed, 07 Aug 2002 22:33:19 -0800

Women who put babies up for adoption required to publish sexual pasts Web sites can't collect info on minors, but Florida wants all women, including minors, to publish their sexual history in local newspapers before they're allowed to give their child up for adoption. Abortions are difficult to get in Florida, almost impossible for some minors because of parental notification and permission requirements, yet wouldn't this law push more women towards abortion rather than towards adoption?