Coffee makes it harder to think clearly, while alcohol makes the mind sharper. (At least if you're British.)
Today's news oddity: In October 1973, U.S.-Soviet tensions were peaking over the Arab-Israeli war, and British Prime Minister Edward Heath's office called the White House just before 8 p.m. to ask to speak with Nixon. "Can we tell them no?" Kissinger asked his assistant, Brent Scowcroft. "When I talked to the president, he was loaded." It's funnier if you read the above in Kissinger's voice.
This just in: Sun rises in East Also, the WHO found that "dependence on alcohol and cigarettes has a much greater cost for societies than illegal drugs like cocaine and crack."
I always thought non-alcoholic beer would be disgusting, but... ya know... thish shtuff ish reeeeeally awwriiiiiight! (OK, it's only a measly 850 twelve-packs. But I'm already imagining scenarios...lawsuits?)