Wizards haven't been to the NBA playoffs since 1997
, haven't won
a playoff series since 1982
, and last captured the NBA championship all the way back in 1977
. Some of these dubious streaks may end soon, as the team currently sports a winning record
and is sending two players
to this weekend's NBA All-Star game, a feat they haven't accomplished
since Crocodile Dundee
was in theatres.
What kind of fans follow such a historically inept franchise? While other fan blogs earnestly recount
league happenings or their teams' wins and losses, the WIZZNUTZZ
have fondly embraced their team's parade of NBA losers and outcasts, building an online shrine to such former players such as 7'7" center Manute Bol
, perennial felon Rod Strickland
, unskilled backup center Jahidi White
("Who he play for???"
), and assorted petty criminals
. During the season they offer "incites" into the play of their lord and savior the reverend Kwame Brown
, the failed comeback
of Michael "Salieri"
Jordan, the NBA Championship of the Detroit Wizards
, and other edutaining commentary
on the league (for additional league commentary see: ChaunceyBillups
The Wizznutzz are currently beside themselves with their team's success, but they know that
the Wizznutzz story is a story about overcoming odds, but mostly not overcoming odds!!!!
Don't forget to buy a Jahidi thong
when you're done reading.
posted by casu marzu
on Feb 16, 2005 -
Whatever happened to Jordan?
This is perhaps the most thought-out dissent regarding Michael Jordan as sports god I've ever read. I have to say I agree, even though I was a Bulls fan growing up. What did he ever really stand for?
posted by Leege
on Jan 14, 2005 -
So I'm not even a sports fan, but holy crap, this was a serious fight
, especially for Basketball. They've got a video posted, but it does NOT include "the punch," by Ron Artest, delivered to some fan in a Pistons jersey. If anyone's got a link to that footage (I only saw it on TV) please post it!
posted by zekinskia
on Nov 20, 2004 -
Truly mind blowing! First, you must follow the rules. Watch this short video. You are only allowed to watch it once.
Seriously, do not cheat! In the video you will see a group of basketball players, some in white and some in black passing two balls around. Your goal is to count how many times the ball is passed by those wearing white shirts.
It’s that simple. Remember, count just the passes of the ball by those wearing white.
Once the movie is over, write down the number of passes you have counted, Do not watch the video again-- proceed to step two
posted by limitedpie
on Nov 14, 2004 -
wants to play basketball. She is also a muslim, and wishes to observe traditional muslim attire for a woman of the faith. Intolerance ensues.
(A link from my local paper to an Orlando Sentinel story, in that this woman is from Oregon.)
posted by Danf
on Sep 24, 2004 -
By now, you might already have heard about Mark Walker
, the 3 year old hoops prodigy that Reebok is featuring on their website; while the video
of him hitting 18 straight shots from various spots on the floor is cute/impressive, the "interview
" movie is horrendously creepy. The closing tagline "I'm the future of basketball; I am Reebok" done in the voice of such a small child just conjures up visions of in vitro logo tattooing. (Warning: Movies are in Quicktime)
posted by jonson
on May 30, 2003 -
Shaquille O'Neal, who warned Chinese citizen & #1 draft pick Yao Ming to "Look Out, Shaqzilla is coming" (presumably unaware that Tokyo is not part of China), has been dethroned; currently in fan balloting, he is running a distant second to the rookie for starting center in the All Star game. Even though his numbers are effectively double those of Yao's, even though he's a three time NBA Finals MVP.
posted by jonson
on Jan 2, 2003 -
High School Girls Basketball team destroys opponent 115-2.
Is sportsmanship about to go the way of the dodo? More and more teams are pushing for winning (and winning by a lot) more than just playing well. Is it the coach's fault? Could it be that the players are just too good and they couldn't 'help' crushing their opponent by over 100 points? (I say that, of course, in jest)
posted by gwong
on Nov 21, 2002 -
is America's newest sport. Combining Basketball, full-contact play, and massive trampolines into an extreme-team sport for the masses. Anyone seen it? Dude! or Dud?
posted by cell divide
on Aug 12, 2002 -
Every sport is an extreme sport in Afghanistan.
Sorry couldn't help posting this surreal news tidbit: "A friendly basketball game between U.S. and Afghan teams turned violent, with one American player kicked in the head and two Afghan spectators shot in the leg, peacekeepers and witnesses said Friday."
posted by talos
on Apr 29, 2002 -
Queen of the hardwood
A local Seattle sports radio station's grand prize is a trip for two to any sporting event in the world. In the spirit of the NCAA basketball tournament, your task is to take the field of sixty-four women and pick the winners until you wind up with the Queen of the Hardwood. Crass, perhaps, but not much more so than anything else. You still have time to enter.
posted by YohonTheLarge
on Apr 10, 2002 -
"IU WINS! IU WINS!
For the first time in years, IU is proceeding to the Elite 8, knocking down the number one team in the country. The last time Indiana beat Duke in the tournament in 1987, they went all the way. Could it happen again?"
[thanks to SportsFilter
for this one. Aw yeah. Ol' Dickie Vitale must be rollin' over in his grave right about now. Oh, wait. He's not dead yet. Or is that just a matter of opinion...baby?]
posted by Bixby23
on Mar 21, 2002 -
Let's hear it for the Fighting Whities!
Solomon Little Owl, director of Native American Student Services at the University of Northern Colorado, is a member of an intramural basketball team that has adopted the name "The Fighting Whities."
Team members say they want to raise awareness of the issue of painful cultural stereotypes. The team, made up of American Indian, Anglo and Hispanic players, is protesting nearby Eaton's use of the team name "Fightin' Reds" and an Indian caricature as a mascot. Little Owl said, "The Fighting Whities" issue is "to make people understand what it's like to be on the other side of the fence. If people get offended by it, then they know how I feel, and we've made our point." Curiously, I'm not offended. Are any of you?
link via yil daily net buzz
posted by David Dark
on Mar 12, 2002 -
The Case of the Head-Butting Hoopster.
High-school basketball players collide during a game; the guy from the visiting team allegedly head-butts the other but is called for only a personal foul. On the home team is the son of the local district attorney, who is sitting (or perhaps ranting
) in the stands. He's just sure that a crime has been committed, so ... (more inside)
posted by diddlegnome
on Feb 9, 2002 -
In 1976 four ABA teams joined the NBA.
This left 2 teams to be compensated. One team accepted a $3 million buyout. The other team, as per an agreement made 6 months earlier and thought up by the owner of the team, got 1/7 of the other 4 teams television money forever
. Has there ever been a better business deal/gamble?
posted by betaray
on Jan 24, 2002 -
Bona fide druggies in the NBA
repeatedly gets caught not only breaking league rules, but the law. And like Lamar Odom, not much happens to these young men except they lose tens of thousands of dollars in fines.
My question: why have a drug policy in the NBA if you're not going to do much to punish them - especially the super talented, good-looking, nice ones like Odom?
posted by tsarfan
on Nov 5, 2001 -
Female athlete to pose nude. Suddenly popular.
Lisa Harrison is unknown outside of basketball until she wins "Sexiest Babe in the WNBA" contest at Playboy.com. What is the worst aspect of this story?
(1) That Playboy.com actually has a "sexiest babe" contest;
(2) That the WNBA has a "morals policy" in every player contract that prevents them from upsetting the "family values" image of the league; or
(3) That Ms. Harrison is considering posing for the magazine because the money she will make is likely to quadruple her annual salary. Or, is all of this just "adults being adults" and nobody should care?
posted by conquistador
on Jul 24, 2001 -
Sixers shock the world,
or at least this fan with their OT victory last night. I'm glad to see cocky Kobe and his Lakers' perfect playoff record marred somewhat. And I can't believe the Sixers were able to pull it off. Anyone think they have a chance to go all the way now?
posted by eoligarry
on Jun 7, 2001 -
The NBA Finals
start tonight. I've never been a big fan of watching any sport, but the hometown Sixers have been quite exciting. Now I find myself hoping that they can find a way to win against those smug Lakers and quiet their arrogant, over-confident fans. Anyone else love an underdog?
posted by quirked
on Jun 6, 2001 -
NBA Finals Fixed,
Ray Allen all but makes the statement straight out. I have been hearing this on the radio over the last week or so. Could it just be poor officiating?
posted by vanderwal
on Jun 1, 2001 -
Knight to be fired?
I know some can find the news at other links, and the story is still developing, however, I at least thought he would last one more year, and retire on his own. Zero tolerence is enforced and the University warned him. I just wonder if he will be hired anywhere else.
posted by brent
on Sep 10, 2000 -
This is something
that has been bothering me for the entire NBA playoffs. Watching the Lakers / Blazers series has seriously made me think about this. Portland down 3-1, Lakers come back for a heroic game 7 victory on a Shaq alley-oop? hmmmm... Does this sound fishy to anyone else? Seems more like a script from a Rocky movie than a professional sport. What do you think?
posted by Doomsday
on Jun 6, 2000 -