MetaFilter posts tagged with batshitinsane

Homeowackopathy

Vamier — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 22:45:05 -0800

Homeopathy has been discussed on the Blue before, but you've never heard it explained so well as this. You'll learn ~~less~~more about physics than you've ever believed possible, and see how Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity ties in to homeopathic medicine, and Stephen Hawking's String Theory makes it all happen. And don't tell me that Stephen Hawking didn't invent String Theory. Charlene Werner says he did, and she invented Syntonic Optometry, therefore, it must be true!

Cattle mutilation

rmd1023 — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:26:54 -0800

A long-standing element of ufo/paranormal conspiracy theory, cattle mutilation has been reported in the United States for several decades. Here's some FOIA documents relating to the FBI's investigation (and discussions of whether they had jurisdiction to investigate) from the 1970's. All links are PDFs: cattle1.pdf, cattle2.pdf. cattle3.pdf, cattle4.pdf,cattle5.pdf.

Or at least half of one.

lazaruslong — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 13:20:50 -0800

Matthias Schlitte is a modern day popeye.

"...by only increasing the size of his one forearm and no other part of his body, he has allowed himself to arm wrestle in lower weight classes, even though his arm is as strong or stronger than much bigger men than him."

Christmas taken care of.

permafrost — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 13:37:09 -0800

HIV Clock. Masturbating dinosaur wall art. Kitten Head on Amputee. Regretsy posts some of the stranger items offered for sale on Etsy.

"What have we got to lose?"

mek — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 23:03:49 -0800

We welcome anyone to visit our town! There are no commandos in the streets. There is no fence or gate being built around Hardin. People are free to come and go as they please. APF is not running our town or our police force. Detailed discussion of the nature of this company starts here.

Ass, Backwards

Rumple — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 08:10:08 -0800

It became necessary, one day, at Willet's Point, to destroy a worthless mule, and the subject was made the occasion of giving instruction to the military class there stationed. The mule was placed in proper position before the camera and duly focused. Upon the animal's forehead a cotton bag was tied containing six ounces of dynamite.....

Instantaneous Photography, 1881 style. From Scientific American, September 24, 1881: (a) Text (b) Engravings: Before the Explosion; After the Explosion. (c) Photographs: The Explosion. images from stereoviews.com; link via things magazine.

The Poisoned Distraction of Music

eatyourcellphone — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 09:44:18 -0800

Women of the world! Russ Lindquist, also known as russfloyd (Multi-Link Youtubery ahead), wants you to 'Know your Enemy'. And that enemy is - yourself! That might seem harsh, but be honest - isn't it possible you're a sexual retard who's addicted to robo-orgasms? You could be charging a man-tax without even knowing it! You could be social veal, or even a military remora. You might think Russ is pretty brutal, but that's just because you're trapped within the system of vulva-centric chauvinism. Besides, Russ isn't only speaking truth to girlpower - he also has tough things to say about Jon Stewart and his coward-catalyzing cronies. In fact, Russ thinks we're all shiny, spineless pawns, totally unworthy of his handsome, hung and humble attentions. And he sure knows how to shake his booty-meat. Ah, Russ, how have we lived without your wisdom?

To the edge of human endurance, and beyond

filthy light thief — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 15:52:09 -0800

Jure Robič raced on bicycles in his hometown in Slovenia, skilled enough to race with small Slovene teams but nothing professionally, supporting himself with a sales job for a bike-parts dealer. It was with the death of his mother in 1997 and his subsequent depression that Robič discovered his calling: ultra-endurance cycle races, in which he competes with a methodical madness. (1 page print version, via). About ten years ago, a friend of his suggested he train for the Crocodile Trophy in 1999. Robič finished third, with 2 stage wins. In October of 2001, Robič completed a 24 hour time trial and covered 803.5 km (499.3 miles), and also qualification for Race Across America (RAAM). A year later, he quit his job and volunteered to join the Slovene military, undergoing nine months of intensive combat training (he surprised his unit with his penchant for late-night training runs). He earned a coveted spot in the sports division, which exists solely to support the nation's top athletes. For Robič, the post meant a salary of 700 euros (about $850) a month and the freedom to train full time. Robič continued with cycle racing, and his results continued to climb, placing second in the Crocodile Trophy in 2001 and 2002, 3rd place in Race Across the Alps in 2002, covering 550km and a 13500 meter ascent in 23:39.33 (the winner, Paul Lindner, made it in 22:47.25). In 2003, he dominated the men's solo category of the Silberreiher-Trophy 24 hour race, covering 911 km in 23h 41 min. He set the official European record at 2004 Kraftwerk Trophy - Krems Austria 24h road race, getting 1st place for covering 974,4km in 24 hours. 2003 was the year Jure Robič placed 2nd in the Race Across America, traveling from the 2921.7 miles from San Diego, CA to Atlantic City, NJ in around 9 days, losing to Allen Larsen's time of 8 days 23 h 36 min. Robič went on to get first in RAAM in 2004, 2005, 2007, and 2008. In 2005, he also got first place in Le Tour Direct, which is also known as Tour de France in one stage and that name tells it all. Instead of tackling the route in sections, it's covered in one continuous go, all 4,022 km (2,500 miles) and 47,000 m (~140,000 feet) of climbing at once, first one there wins, whatever it takes. For Robič, that's a craziness of the most literal sort, and it's re-shaping the understanding of human limits. As told in the New York Times article linked above the break:

The craziness is methodical, however, and Robic and his crew know its pattern by heart. Around Day 2 of a typical weeklong race, his speech goes staccato. By Day 3, he is belligerent and sometimes paranoid. His short-term memory vanishes, and he weeps uncontrollably. The last days are marked by hallucinations: bears, wolves and aliens prowl the roadside; asphalt cracks rearrange themselves into coded messages. Occasionally, Robic leaps from his bike to square off with shadowy figures that turn out to be mailboxes. In a 2004 race, he turned to see himself pursued by a howling band of black-bearded men on horseback. ‘‘Mujahedeen, shooting at me,’’ he explains. ‘‘So I ride faster.’’ ... He is not always the fastest competitor (he often makes up ground by sleeping 90 minutes or less a day), nor does he possess any towering physiological gift. On rare occasions when he permits himself to be tested in a laboratory, his ability to produce power and transport oxygen ranks on a par with those of many other ultra-endurance athletes. He wins for the most fundamental of reasons: he refuses to stop.

Research into fatigue and exhaustion initially assumed that it was the muscles themselves that reached their limit, but more recent studies have shown mental fatigue can affect physical endurance, though the definition and sources for muscle fatigue are complex, making studies of fatigue complex to say the least.

Haast's eagles were to NZ as Dingos are to Australia

filthy light thief — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:41:54 -0800

Legends from New Zealand held that there was a large predator bird, known as pouakai, that was big enough to carry human beings off to its nest or den. Some people associated stories of Pouakai with the giant flightless Moa, extinct in 1773. Others thought it might be another extinct giant bird on the South Island, Haast's Eagle (Harpagornis moorei). The eagle, locally known as Te Hokioi, has been extinct for 500 years, overlapping with the early settlers by some 200 years. There was some speculation that the giant eagle was a scavenger due to partially protected nasal openings, which are benefit to protect nasal cavities when digging into carcasses, analogous to features found on accipitrid vultures. Recent studies have provide there is proof that the Haast's Eagle was a fearsome predator, with talons like tigers and the ability to dive on prey at 80 kilometers per hour (50 mph). Weighing twice as much as the Steller's Sea Eagle, the heaviest modern eagle at 9 kilograms (20 lb), the Haast's Eagle was the only large predator on the South Island. It's primary prey was most likely the Moa, the largest of reached about 3.7 m (12 ft) in height with neck outstretched, and weighed about 230 kg (510 lb). Because it is unlikely that even two Haast's Eagles could eat a complete Moa before it went bad, these kills were bounties for smaller predatory birds, from whom they may have evolved. The absence of mammalian competitors facilitated the evolution of much larger eagles and owls on Cuba and may have likewise precipitated the rapid morphological shift, with an increase in body size by at least an order of magnitude in less than 2 million years. Historic myth, fact, and fiction Another Waitaha myth tells of a contest between the hawk and hokioi. The hawk said it could reach the heavens; the hokioi said it could reach the heavens; there was contention between them. The hokioi said to the hawk, “what shall be your sign?” The hawk replied, “kei” (the peculiar cry of the hawk). Then the hawk asked, “what is to be your sign?” The hokioi replied, “hokioi–hokioi–hu–u.” These were there words. They then flew and approached the heavens. The winds and the clouds came. The hawk called out “kei” and descended, it could go no further on account of the winds and the clouds, but the hokioi disappeared into the heavens. Though the Pouakai could attack a person, there is information from people eating the eagles, detailing that a particular wood was needed to sufficiently cook their haunches. One of the mysteries and curiosities of New Zealand is a UFO explosion in Tapanui, New Zealand, 1178, which the author believes lead to telekinetic pollution of New Zealand that caused in past, and still causes now, that various organisms which live in New Zealand to sporadically mutate to gigantic sizes. Based on a blurry photograph and some footprints found in mud, some cryptozoologists are claiming the Moa lives on.

KFC Double Down

mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:22:41 -0800

"God clearly did not mean for humans to eat chicken, bacon, and low-quality, gelatinous cheese at the same time." Nathan Rabin tackles KFC's Double Down combo.

I took your purse and felt a connection.

miss lynnster — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 07:33:03 -0800

The 20 most bizarre Craigslist posts of all time.

Time is the universal frequency of synchronization, mathematically expressed as a ratio constant, 13:20

fearfulsymmetry — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 13:24:20 -0800

Welcome to the official website of the Galactic Research Institute of the Foundation for the Law of Time (via i09)

The U.S. Embassy in Afghanistan is guarded by gross perverts.

Optimus Chyme — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 16:00:19 -0800

The U.S. Embassy in Afghanistan is guarded by gross perverts. (Photos!)

I'm crazy. Crazy for feeling so blue.

loquacious — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 21:44:42 -0800

Some guy named Spence Peppard takes a flying shot at Willie Nelson and Patsy Cline's Crazy.

"This is the most fucked-up comic signing story I've ever read"

Artw — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 23:05:22 -0800

To clarify the "incident" at my Seattle signing. NSFW! - artist Alex Pardee deals with some crazy shit. (via)

Go topless... and let me tell you about some UFOs

ocherdraco — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 17:21:19 -0800

The second annual National Go Topless Protest Day will be held this Sunday, August 23, in various American cities. It happens to be run by Raelians, members of a UFO religion founded by Rael, a former French sports-car journalist and test driver born Claude Vorilhon. (Coverage of last year's protest in New York City, which is, as one might suspect, NSFW.) Though the current "Go Topless!" site talks more about women's rights than Raelism, in 2004, Raelian women were marching topless not for the legalization of bare breastedness, but against "the repressive Myth of God." Don't remember the Raelians? This is just the most recent stunt by the publicity-hungry group that capitalizes on media-friendly controversy: in 2002, during the slow news week between Christmas and New Year's Day, they announced the creation of the first human clone, gaining what Rael estimated at over $500 million of free media coverage. In an interview, Rael unabashedly discusses his passion for publicity. From a press release:

The organization has decided to hold its protest events annually on the Sunday before Women's Equality Day, which is celebrated Aug. 26. On that date in 1920, after a 72-year struggle, women earned the right to vote. In 1970, Congress declared Aug. 26 Women's Equality Day "to remind people of women's continuing efforts for equality." GoTopless.org includes not only Raelians, who believe all life on Earth was created by advanced extraterrestrial scientists called the Elohim, but women and men representing many other beliefs. GoTopless's primary goals: nationwide legal recognition of women's right to go bare-chested and its acceptance by the public. "Breasts are noble parts of the anatomy," said Raelian Priestess Nadine Gary, president of GoTopless.org. "They shouldn't have to be hidden any more than arms or legs. 'Free your breasts, free your mind!' is our message to women. Men can practice respecting a freedom they take for granted and help end the puritanical idea that children shouldn't see breasts unless a woman is nursing." "Concern for children can be used as an excuse to violate human rights," said psychologist Daniel Chabot, a Raelian bishop. "But a child who sees breasts experiences no adverse effects. European children have been proving that for 40 years." Protest events will include marches, art displays; musical performances and speeches about top-less freedom. "The art works won't be censured for including nipples," Gary said. "In fact, we're encouraging the artists to celebrate the entire breast in all its magnificence and beauty!"

New World Order

Artw — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 01:10:59 -0800

Lady Gaga: Illuminati mind control puppet

The Government didn't warn us about the alien threat!

jadayne — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:11:03 -0800

In august of 1979, Philip Schneider was working as a government Geologist building secret military bases when he became involved in an underground battle with alien Greys which left 67 secret service and military personnel dead. As one of only 3 survivors of the event, he became a vocal critic of the US and it’s dealings with the alien races living among us, joining the UFO lecture circuit and preparing to write a book –before he was found dead in his home of an apparent stroke, or maybe suicide. Or was it? His wife certainly doesn’t seem to think so. Regardless, he’s not the only UFO researcher to die of mysterious circumstances.

Iä, iä, Cthulhu nom.

Anything — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 19:12:03 -0800

If French Fry Coated Hot Dogs^* were too sane for you... Russian Haired Sausage!

Where do you get your health insurance from?

sid abotu — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 22:25:54 -0800

A simple question shows how complex the issue is. Chris at "Cynical C" asks his fellow citizens where they get thier health care (insurance) from and the incredible diversity of the current options and situations is immediately apparent. Quite spontaneously (but surely not unexpectedly), the question of "How much does it cost you?" becomes an essential part of the answers. Outsiders opine and tell stories and commiserate. For further information regarding the issue and the forces at work this Canadian has leaned on Bill Moyers and The Daily Howler.

My Frys sound funny

XQUZYPHYR — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 13:15:38 -0800

Fox has announced that due to a refusal to meet salary demands, the upcoming new episodes of Futurama on Comedy Central will be replacing the entire principal voice cast, having failed to reach agreements with any of the core team of Billy West, Katey Sagal, John DiMaggio, Maurice LaMarche, and Tress MacNeil. On the plus side, the lame imitations your friends have been doing for years can now be put to the test in the open casting call for cheaper sound-alikes.

And you thought I was sexy...

sexyrobot — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 02:16:55 -0800

Corpse-eating zombie robots.

so what is it or r u just going to ignore me ? i thought we were friends even tho i am ur ex?

Optimus Chyme — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 04:56:48 -0800

"I'm dressed as a piece of chocolate because you're allergic to chocolate. But I'm a piece of chocolate you can have!" Psychotic Letters from Men.

Gary the Landlord

jabberjaw — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 23:16:32 -0800

Gary, I dropped off the key with Mike earlier today. Do you have any other reasons for holding on to my security deposit? Let me know, Gabe Subject: RE: Key Drop-Off GO FUCK YOURSELF… Gary via

Financial innovation, you say?

vivelame — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 08:36:15 -0800

Madness is doing the exact same thing over and over again and expecting different results. (SLBP)