Gonzales pushes plan to criminalize copyright infringement, making it punishable by life imprisonment; to increase wiretaps; and to require Homeland Security to notify the RIAA in certain circumstances. "To meet the global challenges of IP crime." I'd comment on this, but I'm afraid that someone might think I was copying someone else. The Intellectual Property Protection Act (official press release) appeared previously in a speech (2005) and as a draft (2006) - now the Justice department is pushing Congress to bring it forward. [newsfilter]
WTFfilter: remember smarmy former-mechanic Joey Buttafuoco and "Long Island Lolita" Amy Fisher? Yeah? Well... looks like they're rekindling their storybook romance for reality television. They're a cute couple. I wish them well.
Meet Obasan: Adorable demon-possessed little girl and Japanese professional wrestler for the horror-themed Triple Six promotion. More highlights: (1) (2)
Little Mukesh is the most badass kid in his nursery. His little friends all have pet dogs, cats, ponies, goats, you know... same old thing. But not Mukesh! No no no! His parents got him a pet COBRA! (Albeit clearly defanged. I mean, he is a baby & all.)
WARNING: Do not click link if you don't want to see a bare-butted baby piss off a spitting cobra.
WARNING: Do not click link if you don't want to see a bare-butted baby piss off a spitting cobra.
Why waste time on playing roleplaying games or writing pastiches when you can actually worship Cthulhu? Join an existing Cthulhu cult or form your own!. They've got a book and everything! (though it may contain big chunks of wiki-plagarism). As ever, the ability to rock a traditionalist shaved-head-and-goatee satanist look considered a plus.
Torture innocents or suffer the consequences. Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA) expounded yesterday on the process of 'extraordinary rendition' where suspects are flown to foreign countries outside of US law, so they can be tortured for information. He's got no problem with it, even if innocents are involved. [more inside]
Connie Meskimen of Hot Springs, Arkansas has a down-to-earth explanation for climate change! What the scientists and the Fifth Column environmentalists bent on wrecking American industry hope that you'll overlook!
Thomas said he and his wife came up with the unprecedented idea to present the president with the Purple Heart over breakfast one morning a few months ago as they discussed the verbal attacks, both foreign and domestic, the commander in chief has withstood during his time in office. "We feel like emotional wounds and scars are as hard to carry as physical wounds," Thomas said.
Went to a dance, looking for a man, found John McCain, he was singing Bomb Iran. (Warnings: Single link YouTube Newsfilter)
If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? (1971). This film based on the pro-Jesus/anti-Commie teachings of Baptist minister Dr. Estus Washington Pirkle (3/12/1930–3/3/05) warns what will happen to America if the citizens do not give up their depraved ways and turn to God and Jesus for salvation. Fun for the whole family! Also by Reverend Pirkle: The Burning Hell & The Believer's Heaven. Good times.
If you thought Toyama Koichi's campaign speech was interesting, you may also find the 2004 House of Councilors campaign speech by Matayoshi Mitsuo, or, as he calls himself, Matayoshi Jesus, interesting.
(news/outragefilter): BBC reports that the new appraisal forms for Indian civil service employees require women to disclose information about their menstrual histories and any pregnancy leave.
Two years ago, a mistake was made: The tattoo read "Chi-Tonw" instead of "Chi-Town." Now, in an act of solidarity, more people are getting tattos spelled Chi-Tonw on purpose. This fellow had it spelled that way on his neck. Chicago Tribune news and blog coverage, and audio on NPR.
RULE # 1: In the short term, binary logic [soul equation] is far superior (?) than fuzzy logic [cloning equation].
All these worlds are yours, save Europa. Attempt no landings he...llo! What the hell is wrong with you!? Did you just nuke Jupiter?
The Hostile New Age Takeover of Yoga [print version]. Standard "omg commoditization" rant, but has a delectable anecdote wherein someone mistakes clingy navel-gazing for reflection. ("What part of no don't you understand?" his note said. "I never want to hear from you again.")
The Most Hated Family in America (Parts 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) The BBC spends some time with the notorious Westboro Baptist Church of Fred Phelps, et alli. (Note: Some NSFW language and tons of crazy)
BubbleFilter: Real Estate Roller Coaster. [via] US Home prices adjusted for inflation plotted as a first-person ride on a roller coaster. Keep your eye on the bottom right-hand corner for the corresponding year. Don't worry about the dramatic ending. I mean really, how bad could bad get?
Alanis Morissette covers "My Humps". This is a single link YouTube post. Thank you.
Modern Mummification. For yourself or your pets. The Summum organization, which incorporates a variety of religious and spiritual philosophies into its belief system, introduced modern mummification in 1975 as a means to "guide one's essence to a greater destination following the death of the body." They even have their own pyramid, in Utah of all places. There are several webpages for the kiddies, even very young ones. One presentation for kids explains that mummification is like "a caterpillar turning into a butterfly." Some people would like to expose the whole thing as a batshitinsane, money-making cult.
Houston man kills, then cooks ex-girlfriend on his patio barbecue. Neighbors called authorities when they realized Timothy Wayne Shepard had been acting strange and had spent 48 hours straight barbecuing on two separate grills. Also starring one of Houston's most colorful characters, Quanell X.
"Thank God I Was Raped!" Thank God for creepily masochistic self-help concepts! Thank God for network marketing publishing stunts that prey on the deranged! Thank God I was scammed out of real money by an advocate of rape therapy! But most of all, thank God there's an affiliate program!
YOU'RE DOING GREAT [YouTube; German rap; mind implosion]
Holy fucking shit. I mean, I've heard of people eating people before, but this is pretty gruesome. recipe
Ampd customer support responds to Michael Pusateri's complaint over their advertising on Ann Coulter's site. They are a-political [sic] and try to reach "as many segments of the market as possible" - Homo, bisexual, and Republican.
Civilization ends in 3... 2... 1.... Search the internet the Kevin Federline way.
"Dear Internet, I'm Sorry..." Meet Michael Crook, being billed as "the most hated man on the internet". First coming in to view when taking a really bad idea to it's ridiculous extreme, he appears on Fox's Hannity & Colmes to lambast members of the military for being "worthless pukes" and whining about their compensation. One site decides to give him a taste of his own medicine, which he clearly didn't like.
"I want to make a point!" said Brenda Hughes after she chewed on some boric acid she'd picked up from the ground. The Savannah, Georgia woman was arrested earlier for throwing boric acid on her black neighbors in what police call a hate crime. She and her t-shirt agree that she didn't do it. So far they seem to be the only ones, though.
Brenda Dickson, soap opera actress, asks politely for a divorce, but is "put out on the street " by the "cowboys in mediation." Follow the exploits of this postergirl for class rage through her own press releases, here, here, and here (What It Was Like In Prison).
The Codpiece [coral cache] - An illustrated review of what is quite possibly one of the worst comic books of all time. (Not safe for anyone.)
"A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week...." (Via)
David Copperfield is stealing my godly powers. Chris Roller believes himself to have godly powers and is suing Copperfield, and also David Blaine, for using them. What better way to protect godly powers than by filing a patent application? Oh, he's suing the Bush administration too.
The 50 Craziest Pop Stars Ever - unsurprisingly, there is some crossover with the 50 Most Awesomely Dead Rock Stars.
Donald Rumsfeld, Revealed - Parts 1 and 2. A nice, brief historical roundup of the man who - in the words of John McCain - is "one of the worst secretaries of defense in history."
Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda believes he is the Apostle Paul. Or Jesus. Or maybe the antichrist. Many disagree, but he and his purported thousands of followers continue to present their case.
Rep. Ben Bridges (R-Cleveland, GA) is in trouble. A recent memo from his office -- one circulated this week by Warren Chisum, a ranking member of the Texas state legislature -- has caught the attention of the Anti-Defamation League. They are not pleased. And they're not alone. Why? Because in his memo, Rep. Bridges -- sponsor of a perennial anti-evolution education bill in the Georgia State House -- claims that "so-called ’secular evolution science’ is the Big Bang, 15-billion-year, alternate ‘creation scenario’ of the Pharisee Religion." And that's not all. It would appear that Rep. Bridges is getting his information (and templates for his legislation) from www.fixedearth.com -- a website dedicated not only to the removal of pro-evolution education from schools, but to the idea that "[t]he Earth is not rotating...nor is it going around the sun." Because you see, it's all part of the Copernican Deception, a massive conspiracy propagated by Christian Zionists, NASA and ... Madonna?
I am so tired of being abducted by aliens. Only two people have been abducted while using this new anti-alien abduction technology. Only two!
Elie Wiesel was attacked in a San Francisco hotel today by a Holocaust denier, intenton forcing the Nobel Prize winner confess that his book Night was a fictionalized account of his survival of Dachau. Incredibly, someone is taking credit for the attack.
Be your own video game hero! Troy Hurtubise, the undisputed master of the bear-proof suit (among other things) has failed to find a buyer for its latest incarnation, and is selling the prototype on eBay.
Astronaut charged with kidnap attempt. It's current, it's for real, and each paragraph is weirder than the last.
The Advent of a Great Awakening. (video) Mr. Rogers's doppleganger has some good news to share with you. Seven minutes in is a particularly surreal place to start. The 18:45 mark is also notably creepy.See also.
Alberto Gonzalez says "there is no express grant" of habeas corpus in the Constitution. Previously on MeFi and AskMe.
Stacey Finley convinced 22 friends, neighbors and relatives that she could have satellites scan their bodies for disease, then have CIA agents administer secret medicines to them while they slept. [via]
Should have worked in a sushi bar. Newsoftheweirdfilter : before entering an hospital in order to have corrective surgery on your testicles, make sure your surgeon of choice isn't 1. slightly insane 2. short tempered 3.holding a scalpel (probably SFW, but may elicit a perpetual lack of trust in doctors).
Pickle Surprise! (youtube)