You are not special. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything esle. You use FIGHT CLUB brand soap.
From the real-life Omni Consumer Products Corporation, a product development company focusing on "licensing, defictionalization, and reverse-branding". Previous products include Brawndo, Tru Blood and Stay Puft Marshmallows (giant monster mascot not included).
Disclaimer: This post is NOT intended to help sell the product, just to inform you that it exists in this atrophying universe. Previously.
posted by oneswellfoop on Dec 14, 2011 - 84 comments

Sports drinks and sodas are adding antioxidant vitamins to transcend their caloric nature and appear "healthy". Antioxidants defend against reactive oxygen species, which are purported to be causative agents in aging and cancer. However, a recent study has shown that supplementation with large amounts of antioxidant vitamins negates many of the beneficial effects of exercise.
posted by benzenedream on Jun 9, 2009 - 12 comments

Governor Palin gets prank called. "Like we say in France, [we could go kill some baby seals]." Governor Palin is mildly amused.
posted by spiderwire on Nov 1, 2008 - 311 comments

The omens and portents are appearing in your fridge and on your boob tube...Idiocracy is coming to pass. [more inside]
posted by codswallop on Dec 5, 2007 - 66 comments

You'll feel like a fighter jet made of biceps!
posted by Blazecock Pileon on Nov 11, 2007 - 35 comments