The worst opening lines to the worst novels never written. An international literary parody contest, the competition honors the memory (if not the reputation) of Victorian novelist Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873). The goal of the contest is childishly simple: entrants are challenged to submit bad opening sentences to imaginary novels.

The original bad opening sentence and inspiration for the contest? From Bulwer-Lytton's novel Paul Clifford, and made famous by Snoopy: ""It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."
posted by zardoz on Dec 16, 2004 - 37 comments

The annual Bulwer-Lytton contest recognizes and awards the very worst opening sentences found in novels. The 2003 results are in (2002 results, 2001 results) and the winning entry begins "They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese..." [via girlhacker]
posted by mathowie on Jul 16, 2003 - 11 comments

Forget the water on mars, the Israeli parliament and the nuclear disc drives... Here's the news we really wanted to know:
The corporate-pawn pseudo-weblogger Net Buzz seems to have a scoop on the winners of the Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest (the entries above are NOT on the official site). These may not be for real, (the contest has never listed them in a Top 10) but they're funny enough to see me through until the real thing comes along. (#2 and #1 are kinda predictable, but #6 should appeal to all us MeFi Narcisists)
posted by wendell on Jun 21, 2000 - 2 comments