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WHY'D YOU PUT THE COFFEE ON THE TABLE!

Got 15 seconds? Then you can watch an animation of Serj Tankian ordering coffee at a Starbucks. [more inside]
posted by jbickers on Apr 10, 2013 - 27 comments

 

Why did I pee pee in daddy's work bag? Better question: Why are we always out of crackers?

"Look mom. I can tell from the way you haven’t looked me in the eye since fetching me from my crib well before dawn that you’re upset about last night. Waking up every 45 minutes to 1.5 hours isn’t easy for me either. In my defense, my blanket really did keep coming off, I was thirsty, and…I can’t remember the other reasons, but I’m sure they were equally valid." The Honest Toddler is blogging about his experiences as a child, from helping mommy get potty trained to his view of one-year-olds to organizing the 34th Annual Toddler Unification Conference. His "The Truth About Car Sleep" is particularly brilliant. He also dispenses his wisdom via twitter.
posted by jbickers on Jun 11, 2012 - 38 comments

Really lookin forward to the weekend, you guys.

Meet Karl Welzien. He lives in Grand Blanc, Michigan. He is recently divorced from Ann, and lives with his buddy Dave. He loves drinking cold ones, driving his Sebring, maxing out some karaoke, and knocking back some Chili's hot wings because they have big bold flavor. He's a big fan of Guy Fieri, and loves the occasional "toilet nap" during his workday. Karl is a fictional character that exists only on Twitter, @DadBoner. [more inside]
posted by jbickers on Aug 16, 2011 - 44 comments

"It was kind of shitty at first, but I thought it got a lot better. You know what show I like? Cheers. That was a good show."

"You didn’t put a bullet through Bin Laden but I’m proud of you. You’re a bust-ass kid." Justin Halpern's dad reacts to the cancellation of $#*! My Dad Says.
posted by jbickers on May 18, 2011 - 43 comments

"I've got Kevin Costner on the phone. He'll know what to do for sure."

How BP cleans up a coffee spill. (SLYT)
posted by jbickers on Jun 10, 2010 - 53 comments

Whackity schmackity doo, kids!

All of you have been given a harsh gift. It’s the same gift the graduating class of 1917, and 1938, and 1968 and now you guys got – the chance to enter adulthood when the world teeters on the rim of the sphincter of oblivion. You’re jumping into the deep end. You have no choice but to be exceptional. Patton Oswalt addresses the class of 2008 at his old high school. [more inside]
posted by jbickers on Jul 10, 2008 - 104 comments

... over 6 months of experience in online dating and relationships

"Carl knows how to treat the ladies. And with all of his qualities in one package, he is quite the value meal. Eat up ladies. His fries are getting cold." Fun stuff from one of the members of comedy troupe The Groundlings.
posted by jbickers on Jan 10, 2008 - 29 comments

Can you tell me how to check for a hernia?

If Mittens chose to save Baby Penguin based on his beliefs, and Mittens' beliefs are not under his direct control, does Mittens really have freewill? SNL's spot-on parody of "Dora the Explorer."
posted by jbickers on Apr 3, 2007 - 53 comments

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