258 posts tagged with family.
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The AIDS Activist and the Banker

Peter Staley was a 24 year-old banker at J.P. Morgan when he was diagnosed with AIDS in 1985. His brother, Jes, worked there as well. In a Q&A with Fortune, they discuss how their paths diverged,
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Jul 24, 2016 - 8 comments

I'm Just A Person

A couple of days later, I stood in front of a mirror and slowly unbuttoned my shirt. When I looked down, what I saw turned out to be just a flat chest with fresh scars on their way to looking healed. My stitches had dissolved. I took my shirt off and stared at myself, thinking, “Lake was right, I can do this.” - Tig Notaro on luck, love, family, friends, fame, stand up, her new book, and life after breasts
posted by nadawi on Jun 11, 2016 - 11 comments

Volunteers, orphanages, and good intentions

"I was asked recently by a friend to meet some people from her church in the US who were visiting Uganda on a mission trip. The aim of the meeting was to convince them that supporting and visiting orphanages was doing more harm than good." [more inside]
posted by Catseye on May 26, 2016 - 68 comments

Do your parents know you're Ramones??

"Bloodlines make bonds irrefutable. You might hate your brother for what he's done, but you can't undo the blood; he's still your brother, you're his. A makeshift family, the kind many bands construct, may seem easier to leave behind. It's a musical partnership, a fraternity at best. But the bonds can be just as indelible, as sublime, as painful." -- The Curse of the Ramones by Mikal Gilmore, Rolling Stone
posted by Room 641-A on May 21, 2016 - 6 comments

What about when your mother doesn't love you?

"Even if she is difficult, I’m supposed to love her, because, really, she loves me. But what if she doesn’t—not even in “her own way?” [...] Popular opinion thinks it’s fine to bitch about your fucked-up family or your crazy mother, so long as you do it lovingly—so long as it’s safe, appropriate."
posted by stoneweaver on May 7, 2016 - 36 comments

"The rest of this ride is mine to take. By myself..."

Nagpur Junction: A Short Tragicomic [via mefi projects]
posted by Theta States on Apr 28, 2016 - 12 comments

A Ghost in the Freezer

A moving little essay about the power of food, family, and memory.
posted by katie on Apr 21, 2016 - 14 comments

So, *that's* why we have 4-H.

Fetishizing Family Farms Broken families, underground vice, and sexual variance - not stability - characterized the American family farm for most of its history, argues historian Gabriel Rosenberg. [more inside]
posted by Miko on Apr 10, 2016 - 88 comments

The Kids

Judges, academics, pundits and activists keep wondering how children are impacted by gay marriage. Maybe it’s time to ask the kids. A rich media photo essay coupled with audio interviews, by Gabriela Herman. [more inside]
posted by hippybear on Mar 6, 2016 - 17 comments

“In my family, a B-flat was a fuckin’ B-flat.”

How Randy Newman and His Family Have Shaped Movie Music for Generations by David Kamp [Vanity Fair] Sure, you know of the Oscar-winning composer behind Toy Story and his endearingly offbeat songwriting, but Newman, 72, is also the patriarch of a clan that has helped shape movie music since the talkies. [more inside]
posted by Fizz on Feb 26, 2016 - 46 comments

My Autistic Brother's Quest for Love

Randy is 27, one of 3.5 million Americans on the autism spectrum. He suffers from what is officially called PDD, or pervasive developmental disorder. "My brother has always wanted what most of us do: love. Someone to care about. Someone who will care in return. Someone other than our mother." A loving sister chronicles her brother's search for a lasting relationship.
posted by narancia on Feb 25, 2016 - 13 comments

"Single Women Are Our Most Potent Political Force"

Almost a quarter of the votes in the last US presidential election were cast by women without spouses, up three points from just four years earlier. They are almost 40% of the African-American population, close to 30% of the Latino population, and about a third of all young voters. The most powerful voter this year is The Single American Woman.
posted by zarq on Feb 22, 2016 - 53 comments

Animal Families

Animal Families - A collection of animal illustrations that explore the relationship of parent and child. By artist Michael Sutton.
posted by Wolfdog on Jan 30, 2016 - 3 comments

Roomies Like These

Margaret Sugg, Nancy Fassett, and Barbara Fletcher moved into a group house together in the 1960s and have lived together ever since, renting a row house in Georgetown, DC; buying a home in the Maryland suburbs, and then retiring together to a nearby retirement community. [more inside]
posted by sallybrown on Jan 29, 2016 - 17 comments

“Falafel is a meal that transcends socio-economic backgrounds—”

A Falafel House Divided by Mohamad Yaghi and Jack Crosbie [Roads & Kingdoms]
“They work meters from one another every day, preparing falafel the way their father taught them. But instead of sharing a kitchen, Zouhair alone inhabits the original Damascus street shop. One store over, Fouad has a new shop, emblazoned with red signs that read “Falafel M. Sahyoun.” A single white tile wall separates them, a boundary that is never breached. The brothers no longer speak. Lebanon has long been a country defined by divisions, and though the brothers’ rift is not sectarian, the uneasy relationship between two falafel makers competing in close proximity is a reflection of the problems that still haunt the country.”
posted by Fizz on Jan 19, 2016 - 17 comments

Bonus points for a towel on exercise equipment

Sleeping under an original My Little Pony single bed set tonight? Or sharing with your uncle and the Christmas tree? Or bedding down in the garage, next to the punch bag? For the last few years Rhodri Marsden has been sharing the people of Twitter's Christmas eve sleeping arrangements, in all their awkward, makeshift, regressive glory. You can view this year's on his timeline @rhodri.
posted by Helga-woo on Dec 24, 2015 - 53 comments

priorities matter.

The Tail End: "No matter what your age, you may, without realizing it, be enjoying the very last chapter of some of the relationships that matter most to you." (via) [more inside]
posted by flex on Dec 13, 2015 - 35 comments

Three farting uncles, Two puking dogs, Anaphylaxis in a pear tree.

Carolyn Hax's Hootenanny of Holiday Horrors 2015 was today. Advice Columnist Carolyn Hax hosts a (nearly) weekly chat in which people share their problems and she offers (nearly) instant advice. But sometimes you don't really need advice. Sometimes you just need to tell someone about the things your relatives did to you (or gave to you) at Christmas. [more inside]
posted by jacquilynne on Dec 11, 2015 - 38 comments

make sure your mind and body are clear and ready for intellectual combat

Thanksgiving is coming up and preparation is crucial don’t let this be like last year when your uncle tricked you into admitting that “Yes Mussolini did make the trains run on time I grant you that ok.” A woke guide to winning the annual familial debate “Thanksgiving”
posted by koeselitz on Nov 25, 2015 - 40 comments

The 6 Awkward Conversations You’re Dreading, And How To Deal With Them

This time of year, many of us will make a pilgrimage to see our families. Halls will be decked, candles will be lit, and ancient stories will be told. Hopefully everything for you will be hugs, warmth, light, and reconnection with the people you love. But if you are dreading dealing with that one jerk relative or bracing yourself for an onslaught of intrusive questions and and awkward topics, here’s a guide to keeping your cool and choosing your battles when everyone around you is making it weird.
posted by sciatrix on Nov 23, 2015 - 100 comments

Mark Zuckerberg Plans 2-Month Paternity Leave From Facebook

"Facebook’s chief executive, Mark Zuckerberg, said he planned to take two months of paternity leave after his daughter is born this year, amid a debate about work-life balance at technology companies." (NYT)
posted by New Year on Nov 20, 2015 - 83 comments

Suffer the Children

Suffer the Children: A long and heart-rending essay in The Monthly magazine about the Australian Family Law system's ugly response to allegations of child abuse in custody disputes. [more inside]
posted by Coaticass on Nov 13, 2015 - 26 comments

The first time you break tradition is the hardest time.

"When the monsters of your childhood become faded old people with the fight gone out of them, what do you do? How do you find a way to relate? Do you forgive and try to find a way to interact with who they are now or do you hold onto the tight little ball of yourself you've been protecting all this time?" How do I tell my dysfunctional folks I'm not spending the holidays with them this year? [more inside]
posted by divined by radio on Nov 3, 2015 - 96 comments

"And I’m telling you that thing upstairs isn’t my daughter."

That Thing: A True Story Based on The Exorcist (Adam Sturtevant, Electric Literature)
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome on Oct 25, 2015 - 16 comments

Love comes in so many forms and can be directed at so many things.

"There is no good answer to being a woman; the art may instead lie in how we refuse the question." In "The Mother of All Questions", Rebecca Solnit writes for Harper's about being asked to justify her own (and Virginia Woolf's) childlessness, and more broadly about how to define happiness and a meaningful life.
posted by Stacey on Oct 8, 2015 - 39 comments

The Children of Strangers

The Badeau family have adopted over twenty children over the course of their marriage, spurred on by a mix of religion and a desire to help those who have no one left to turn to.
posted by reenum on Sep 13, 2015 - 42 comments

The Bears Go Swimming!

A family of bears descends upon a human family's pool in New Jersey. Ok, long time listener...first time poster. Please be kind. This is an eleven minute video of a bear family swimming in an above-ground pool. While the video is great...it is really the audio of the human family, filming from a second floor bedroom,that really makes this special.
posted by shibori on Aug 21, 2015 - 123 comments

Self care and the need for leisure

A cruelly optimistic relationship to self-care is one in which self-care is envisioned primarily as a means to rejuvenate us so that we’re able to work faster and harder—precisely the condition that has caused so much of our stress to begin with. [more inside]
posted by stoneweaver on Aug 12, 2015 - 72 comments

Pregnant then Screwed

A website for women who have been discriminated against whilst they were pregnant or after having a baby. 54,000 UK women a year are forced out of their jobs due to pregnancy. This doesn't include the women who are demoted, harassed, aren't put forward for promotion, or those that are self employed. Pregnant Then Screwed is a place for these women to tell their story anonymously. [more inside]
posted by biffa on Jul 27, 2015 - 24 comments

"If you hear a Chinook coming, get ready."

As the North Vietnamese Army captured Saigon, Ba Van Nguyen was one of the thousands of South Vietnamese desperately fleeing the country. Nguyen, a major in the South Vietnamese Air Force, would be executed and his family would be sent to concentration camps if he was caught. But Major Nguyen had a plan: he'd moved his family to his mother-in-law's house near a soccer field, and told his wife to listen for--and be ready when she heard--the distinctive whump-whump-whump-whump chopping sound made by the twin rotors of his CH-47 Chinook, the largest helicopter in the South Vietnamese Air Force. Early on the morning of April 29, 1975…
posted by mattdidthat on Jul 21, 2015 - 18 comments

“You can ruin my life when this show is over.”

"He sent me long emails about how I was a tool of the devil. I pictured him with two computer screens open — one for looking up scripture, and another to Mapquest the location of his next bathroom rendezvous. We were never going to have the cool kind of gay dad." Why I Answered My Dad's Gay Sex Ad by Aussa Lorens
posted by The Whelk on Jun 20, 2015 - 85 comments

There are no easy answers.

How to Love Your Father When He’s in Prison for Child Porn, an essay by Lindsay Popper. SFW. Some may find the content disturbing.
posted by zarq on Jun 19, 2015 - 61 comments

...an impossible task.

The New Normal: Pieces of Grief, by Stephanie Wittels Wachs, sister of Parks and Recreation's co-executive producer Harris Wittels, who passed away in February.
posted by zarq on Jun 13, 2015 - 19 comments

he can’t see me

“One night we were eating spaghetti and meatballs and it fell out and rolled across the kitchen table. You said, ‘Dad, your eye popped out’ and kept on eating. I’ll never forget it. You must have been seven or eight. He felt so bad about that—for your sake.”
“I don’t think it bothered me,” I say.
“He worried it bothered you.”
The Glass Eye, by Jeannie Vanasco
posted by zarq on Jun 8, 2015 - 7 comments

here I come, taking the floor to recite a page of quatrains

When the family business is ribald wedding poetry.
posted by curious nu on Jun 1, 2015 - 2 comments

The Human Toll of Quiverfull

Quiverfull of shit: a Guide to the Duggars' Scary Brand of Christianity - Gawker, Jennifer C. Martin
"In 1985, a writer named Mary Pride published a book called The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality, which detailed her journey away from the second-wave feminism of the '70s and into what she perceived was a woman’s Biblical place in the home, and the commandment to fill the house with as many of her husband’s children as possible.

"Pride insisted that no woman could possibly find true happiness without submitting to her vision of Christianity: Relinquish control of your womb to God, and exist only to please your husband, give birth, feed everyone, and educate your children in the home—almost certainly without having received any formal higher education yourself."
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome on May 26, 2015 - 543 comments

A long story short: My mother is single, and she deserves a good man.

My gosh, Alex! What are you going to do with this?!?
posted by dancestoblue on May 12, 2015 - 12 comments

Two Sisters, Two Views of Gay Marriage

Two years after Elizabeth and Mary Cheney publicly fought each other on marriage equality, another set of sisters, also named Elizabeth and Mary, write about their own challenging experiences:
I know that in this day and age many thousands, if not millions, of families find themselves in predicaments similar to ours. My desire is that our joint disclosure might help others begin to open their hearts and minds to one another. I hope that they can find both the courage and the charity to have those difficult but potentially transformative conversations that they, like we, have avoided for such a long time.
posted by Ouverture on May 11, 2015 - 53 comments

I think that splotch was Tabasco

" “I tell my daughters that when I go, they’ll know the good recipes from the dirty pages.” [NYT]] A group of Nashville writers mounts an exhibit of the dirty pages from their own family cookbooks.
posted by Miko on May 6, 2015 - 21 comments

Why some men pretend to work 80-hour weeks

While work-life balance is generally seen as an issue mostly affecting women, many men also struggle with balancing work obligations with family. In companies which expect an "ideal" worker to produce 60-80 hour work weeks, men use a number of strategies to conserve time and shorten work weeks--with vastly different consequences depending on transparency.
posted by sciatrix on May 4, 2015 - 136 comments

The abuser's side of the story

Down the Rabbit Hole is a repository of observations about estranged parent support forums (previously). It contains comparisons of forum culture between discussion sites for estranged parents and those for children, themes of discussion found on estranged parent sites, and possible reasons estranged parent forums develop toxic dynamics.
posted by sciatrix on Apr 29, 2015 - 83 comments

"She's as wild as a caged animal. Try again in a few days."

My mother is like another country I used to live in, familiar but no longer a place I call home. When I visit, I don't stay long; dysfunction is the official language, the terrain is a desert of constantly shifting emotions, and the weather is grey when it's not dark and stormy. Estrangement is so much easier.
posted by divined by radio on Apr 23, 2015 - 14 comments

"May you always know you are loved," I whispered.

"It's completely alone," I said. That baby, that poor baby. What had it done? "Nobody is coming for it."

Softly she asked, "Would it be OK if we called it 'her'?"

It was then as though my therapist's finger grew very long. It arced through the air, crossing the space between us, and touched my chest, the tip of it pressing into my heart, and my body collapsed around it, folded in on itself from pain, the worst pain I had ever felt because it had no source. I was the pain. I saw that baby on her back, alone, and I understood that she was me. In that moment I was flooded—intellectually, emotionally, physically—by the very knowledge I had so long barricaded myself against: that someone had given birth to me. And worse: that I had not been fit to keep.
A meditation on adoption, heartbreak, and healing, by Sarah Church Baldwin for The Rumpus: Build-A-Bear.
posted by divined by radio on Apr 20, 2015 - 29 comments

Anthropology, already read

Déjà Lu republishes locally-selected scholarly articles from journals connected to regional anthropological associations around the world. The result is a PDF-heavy but fascinating collection of long reads on obscure topics. Via. [more inside]
posted by Monsieur Caution on Apr 18, 2015 - 4 comments

Fixing Steve

It had never, in my most repulsive nightmares, occurred to me that my dad might have molested my brother. I believed their unfixable, codependent-isn’t-even-a-big-enough-word relationship was about addiction and guilt and mental illness and hubris and narcissism. No other explanation was needed. When I read Steve’s name on that list while standing in my study with the Russians at my feet, everything froze: the air, my blood, my breath, my brain. I felt it was true. I believed it was true. And I wasn’t even remotely ready for it to be true.
-The Terrible Things I Learned About My Dad: On Abuse and the People We Love
posted by almostmanda on Apr 9, 2015 - 16 comments

Furious 7

Already well on its way to a monster opening box office, Furious 7 is the latest installment in the little franchise[1] that could: ridiculous, more diverse than just about anything else coming out of Hollywood, and beloved by critics like Roxane Gay and Todd VanDerWerff. But in the end it's all about family[2]. (And occasionally cars.) [more inside]
posted by kmz on Apr 5, 2015 - 102 comments

crunchy, crispy, meaty sailboats of spicy chemical flavor

[E]ven though the restaurant's cartoonish decor bordered on offensive, it was still a temple to a people and a cuisine that America couldn't ignore. Taco Bells were everywhere. In every strip mall. Off every highway exit. Even the racists, the immigrant-haters, the people who'd laugh at my elementary-school stand-up comedy routine would run for the border.

You can laugh or sneer at Taco Bell. Shake your head at its high fat and salt content. Go ahead and lecture on what true Mexican food is. My mom would probably just roll her eyes at you, and take a broken yellow shard of crispy taco shell and use it to scoop up the pintos, cheese, and salsa.
John DeVore writes about finding the "unexpected, self-affirming solace" of home... at Taco Bell. [more inside]
posted by divined by radio on Mar 30, 2015 - 61 comments

The deal of the century

“IT WILL WORK LIKE THIS,” he continued. “I GIVE YOU A FOOKLOAD OF LOGS AND YOU GIVE US YOUR CAT.”
posted by jason's_planet on Mar 23, 2015 - 31 comments

Life as a ghost

The Ghost Children of China Forty-five years ago, China inaugurated an era of population control, amid fears that too many people would bring catastrophe. In 1980, it officially announced a national one-child policy, forcibly limiting the size of families. But there have been, inevitably, second (and, rarely, third and fourth) children: children who go unrecognized by the government, have no official identity – who are left to live outside the institutions of regulated society. Little Jie is one of them. [more inside]
posted by modernnomad on Mar 16, 2015 - 12 comments

People do not naturally assume that my family is a family.

Friends often try to assure me that people mean well, urging me to go easy on them, to be gracious, to give people the benefit of the doubt. "People don't mean to be offensive," they tell me. "They just don't know how to say it without coming across that way."

What these friends don't understand is that when the act of defining your family structure becomes an expected part of every day of your entire life, you grow tired of being gracious. It's exhausting to have strangers view your life as an up-for-grabs educational experience. For my kid, it's to constantly hear the underlying message: "Your life, your family, doesn't make sense to me. Someone needs to explain it to me. You owe me an explanation."

It's the people who live comfortably inside majorities who tend to discount any sort of commentary from minorities as being "overly sensitive." And I imagine that it's hard to step back and grasp the fact that when the world you occupy is built to accommodate you, you fit inside the boxes. You make sense. You are expected.
Nishta Mehra writes about her family's experience with learning how to navigate the landscape of interracial adoption in a "post-racial" America: Black Is the Color of My True Love's Hair.
posted by divined by radio on Mar 4, 2015 - 51 comments

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