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The cake is a lie.

I woke up this morning with a $2000 birthday cake in my living room. It's big. It's red. It says "Paris". [more inside]
posted by Mister Fabulous on Feb 18, 2011 - 110 comments

If you build it, they will come -- Winter Olympic Version

So you own a hotel and think it's a good idea to woo the US curling community. So you borrow some regulation size stones, lay down some synthetic ice sheets in the ballroom, and... (wait. what? synthetic ice? Cool!) Anyway free curling expo starting tonight at the Hilton Garden Inn in downtown DC.
posted by cross_impact on Feb 19, 2010 - 51 comments

France or Hilton

The piece is attached via a network cable to the internet. The needle indicates results.
posted by Fiasco da Gama on Mar 11, 2009 - 15 comments

Please don't tell William Gibson this exists.

I know what you're thinking. What could be better than a below-low-budget sci-fi/horror hypersexualized movie based off of a musical, with a playwright who also decided to star in both stage and screen adaptations? Well, then, what if we up the ante! It's also a socially-conscious cyberpunk movie musical, written, directed, scored and costumed by people in 2008 who have decided that 1996 is as far as the future goes, thanks... so it's also a goth/raver socially conscious cyberpunk movie musical, complete with blue-streaked hair, muppet-fur and clunky vinyl boots! No? We need to aim higher to do better? Well, here comes the kicker, the one element that will immortalize this film: Starring Paris Hilton. Singing. In S&M gear. And a wig. Doing drugs. Lo, I bring you REPO! The Genetic Opera! (The film.) NSFW or self respect.
posted by Slap*Happy on Sep 5, 2008 - 53 comments

Paris = Hot, McCain=Old Guy

Paris Responds John thought he would be clever and use Paris in his campaign ad... Paris one-ups him with an even BETTER ad..(slyt) maybe NSFW if females in bathing suits are frowned upon..
posted by HuronBob on Aug 6, 2008 - 180 comments

Image of the Year.

Image of the Year. From the article: "If you want to go shallow for an Image of the Year, you can't do better than Paris Hilton, seen through the window of a Los Angeles sheriff's car, weeping as she's being hauled back to prison to complete a probation-violation sentence. But when you first notice the credit on that now infamous picture, there's a double take. The image came from the camera of Nick Ut, whose picture of a little girl burned by napalm, naked and running directly toward the camera and into the conscience of the American people, became perhaps the most powerful and influential vision of the Vietnam War. Not only was the Paris Hilton image taken by one of this country's most celebrated war photographers, it was taken June 8, 35 years to the day after the devastating image of 9-year-old Kim Phuc fleeing her bombed-out village. Let's put these two pictures up on the wall together for one last, end-of-the-year look, and see if something emerges."
posted by kittens for breakfast on Dec 30, 2007 - 52 comments

Comparing Heiresses

Amongst the many companies with offices in Manhattan is a multibillion-dollar French conglomerate that handles "diversified commodities, energy, shipping, real estate, manufacturing, and communications." The owner, Gerard, is one of the richest men in the world, and, at 75, his children and grandchildren stand to inheirit a tidy sum of perhaps half a billion each upon his passing. Unless you've been in a cave for a few decades, one of them has — given syndication, perhaps even daily — been making you laugh for a long, long time. A heiress and princess who you first met live from New York (where she met her husband), then a yuppie in a movie of Christmas indignities, and finally in a small, barely aired show about, er, nothing ... meet Elaine Julia, the multibillion-dollar heiress, Northwestern dropout, Emmy-winning actress, and even a distant relative of Richard Dreyfuss. And then compare her to a certain other celebrity heiress.
posted by WCityMike on May 2, 2007 - 52 comments

Paris Hilton Autopsy

The artist who explored the beginning of life last year presents his meditation on the end of life, designed to teach kids about the hazards of underage drinking.
posted by rottytooth on Apr 27, 2007 - 22 comments

The Trash Princess: Why Americans love to hate Paris Hilton.

The Trash Princess: Why Americans love to hate Paris Hilton. "You don’t need to share Osama bin Laden’s view of America to see that Paris mirrors us at our contemporary worst. But something still doesn’t compute: Why, if Paris says so much about us, do Americans—not just college professors and the commentariat but celebrity watchers and tabloid junkies—hate her so much? And why, if she is so offensive, is she so ubiquitous?"
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese on Nov 21, 2006 - 142 comments

penthouse dealers

"Were there U.K. publications?" Hilton responded: "No... there is stuff in London." Hilton's lawyer, Larry Stein, jumped in: "London is a U.K. publication." Her retort: "Right. U.K. Whatever."
posted by The Jesse Helms on Jan 20, 2006 - 58 comments

I hear Osama likes anchovies on his.

Paris Hilton and John Ashcroft are #1 and #2, respectively, on the list of fake names used by people ordering pizza. In other news, people with Dean bumper stickers on their car tip more than those with Bush bumper stickers. And 42 percent of Americans will have pizza on New Year's Eve, while only 2 percent will have caviar. (All this courtesy of a Domino's Pizza survey.)
posted by Vidiot on Dec 29, 2003 - 7 comments

What would you do if you had a multi-million dollar trust fund and the knowledge that you would one day inherit a billion dollar empire?
Lots of coke and champagne apparently. Then, of course, you'd build a website to show everyone how much fun being sickeningly rich is.
posted by TiggleTaggleTiger on Dec 6, 2001 - 53 comments

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