An angry crow mocked me this morning. I couldn’t finish my croissant, and fled the café in despair.— and other excerpts from Le Blog de Jean-Paul Sartre
"I attempted to repeat the experiment, however once my assistant discovered that I didn’t really have any tuna, she declined to participate in any further tests."
The Pliocene Pussy Cat Theory (which originally appeared in The Annals of Improbable Research) argues that the human ancestor Australopithecus domesticated cats for hunting, defense and harvesting static electricity to make it easier to climb trees. The theory, which was proposed by Lorenzo Love, is a parody of the Aquatic Ape Hypothesis (which is critiqued here and in shorter form here). Whether you know about the Aquatic Ape Hypothesis or not, the Pliocene Pussy Cat Theory, and Love's follow-up, the Subterranean Ape Theory, will completely alter your understanding of human evolution.
It was on a Monday, April second - I was cruising in the vicinity of Betelgeuse - when a meteor no larger than a lima bean pierced the hull, shattered the drive regulator and part of the rudder, as a result of which the rocket lost all maneuverability. [more inside]
Life's actual supervillains....if they were enshrined in comic book form, of course.
If you're an old school Star Wars fan, and your relationship status with its chief architect could best be described as "it's complicated," Andrew Bridgeman provides levity with his Facebook mockups. Embrace some catharsis, and feel the lighter side flowing through you.
All the parody ads from Grand Theft Auto games, on one web page. Rockstar Games has published (nearly) all the radio ads from Grand Theft Auto games on their website.
The NHL is facing the possibility of a lockout and Mexican fire hockey is still in the early stages of a comeback, so what's a hockey fan to do? Humor and/or Humour blog Down Goes Brown has your back with extensive archives and a new book. If you get desperate, you could even try their long-running series analyzing Obscure Moments in Toronto Maple Leaf History. [more inside]
Breaking Bad Remix (Seasons 1 and 2) from the indefatigable placeboing. [potential spoilers if you haven't seen it, but then if you haven't seen it, you probably won't get it anyway]
Ever had one of those nights that made you think about giving up drinking? Lucy Spraggan says it leads her to Beer Fear. (DLYT) [more inside]
"May you be reunited in the world to come with your ancestors, who were all socialist garment workers."
Yiddish Curses for Republican Jews (Single-link Jewish Humor)
Please visit Stockholm. We need more iPads. (SLYTHDTDT*) *Single Link YouTube "How do they DO that?!" post.
Dog House Diaries — we know that web-comics are where all the money and fame is at and we want a piece. It was obvious that in order to be successful in this biz, you need to be good with humor, drawing, math and computers. Well we kick some serious butt at drawing and math so we figured 2 out of 3 wasn’t bad.
John Daker is going to sing a song that's very popular nowadays, it's Christ The Lord Is Risen Today, and he's going to do Amore too, okay? There is a subtitled and animated version also.
The Terrible Tragedy of the Healthy Eater. All you want to do is eat a little healthier. Really. Maybe get some of that Activa probiotic yogurt or something. So you look around and start researching what “healthier” means.
Patton Oswalt’s Letters to Both Sides - Oswalt addresses "all of the comedians in the room" and "all of the gatekeepers" at Montreal’s Just For Laughs 2012 about living in a living in a "post-Louie world".
In case you needed another reason to love/fear them: With a tone that sometimes rings condescending or conspiratorial but always wonderfully flippant, the best minds of cracked.com discuss the grandest extremities of modern physics.
How To Read A Book takes us through the trials and tribulations of finding reading-time comfort. (SLYT)
The popularity of "Somebody That I Used to Know" has made it a fairly ubiquitous earworm; so two guys in a car brilliantly deal with That Gotye Song.
Indian Dubstep is a fun little dance routine by Gerardam, two brothers from India, Johnnathan and Joshua Gerard. Via Ministry of Manipulation, who say, "... this is what happens when two clowns become excellent dancers." Johnnathan composed the music.
Comedian Myq Kaplan starts a Kickstarter to Figure Out What Kickstarter Considers Art. [more inside]
You eat too fast, and I understand why your antidyspeptic pill-makers cover your walls, your forests even, with their advertisements.
In 1891 author and lecturer ”Max O’Rell” (being the pen name of one Léon Paul Blouet) published an amusing account of his travels through the States and Eastern Canada - "A Frenchman In America" - that, along with the charming illustrations, reflect on then popular national stereotypes and character and is presented on Project Gutenberg in its entirely. (via)
The 15th anniversary is big metal chickens. The 16th anniversary is sloths, wallabies, and hedgehogs.
Skyrim: The Real Dragonborn reveals some of the downsides of living in the Elder Scrolls universe. [slyt]
Jack S. Margolis's A Child's Garden of Grass (A Pre-Legalization Comedy). This is the 1971 audio companion to the book of the same name. It's a cult-classic sketch-comedy album which reads like the user's manual to marijuana, and features members of the Firesign Theatre.
Two clips from the 70s kids show Marshall Efron's Illustrated, Simplified and Painless Sunday School: David & Goliath and Jonah. [more inside]
"I had these clubs when I was a young bachelor, hair down to my shoulders, tearing up the town in a 1990 Volvo 740 SEL with the sunroof open and the road before me like some great American Dream ready to be snatched, the way candy is from a baby, or a kiss from an easy and drunk woman."
Writer Marc Lewis is selling his awful golf clubs.
Writer Marc Lewis is selling his awful golf clubs.
Dave Chappelle, still facing pressure from audiences who want him to do bits from "Chappelle's Show", did not amuse an audience in Austin. Which begs the question: Do we expect too much from entertainers?
Were you perplexed and mystified by the behavior of the Prometheus crew? Well, it'll all make sense once you watch this helpful training video. [slyt]
The Power of Crowd Sourcing. When Fox News provided a list of ten pranks to help your marriage (as we all know, that junior high locker room horse play was really preparation for a healthy and loving monogamous relationship), the Internet rose as one to say, "These are fantastic, but we need more!" Sorting the comments by Popular/ Best shows you how normal people, people just like you and me, added a little butter and salt to this Paula Deen-esque confection of an article.
I hope we will someday live in a society where we are so accepting of each other that we can all laugh at jokes like these and know that there is no malice or diminishment intended.
Jason Alexander appeared on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson recently, and told a joke about cricket being "a little bit gay." Shortly afterwards, some of his Twitter followers told him that they were offended by the joke. This prompted Jason to seriously reflect on his joke and offer a thoughtful apology.
29/31 by Garfunkel and Oates (the sensational Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci), a song about the same woman from a perspective two years apart. (some NSFW language) [previously 1, 2] [via]
The goons at Something Awful have a field day photoshopping downgraded and cut-rate literary classics. Part 2.
What Should We Call Me? (a very silly tumblr for your Friday)