43 posts tagged with love and relationships.
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Because you aren't being you

A lot of women out there are afraid of being something. The template for us is pretty clear: We are meant to have clean skin, a pleasant demeanor, and a nice rack. I'm not speaking up against nice racks, Lord knows. But there are lots of ladies around me, everywhere I go, who hesitate to say what they're thinking and feeling. They go with the flow, they never make waves. And eventually, they don't even seem to know what makes them who they are. They live to serve. They read the books that other people are reading. They say the pleasant things that other people are saying. They never put their needs first, unless it indirectly serves someone else — a manicure, some highlights. They make sure everyone around them is 100 percent satisfied. Like grocery-store managers. Like customer service reps. Like masseuses who also give free happy endings. Ask Polly on "Why Don’t the Men I Date Ever Truly Love Me?"
posted by shivohum on Sep 9, 2014 - 170 comments

occasionally, she wears flannel.

when my boyfriend proposed, I cried — more like panic tears. but I wasn't certain I should end it — until I met her
posted by yeoz on Aug 18, 2014 - 115 comments

"Identity is always something to be cherished."

I Am Loveworthy: How a Transgender Woman Found Love. (Previously, by the same writer.) Useful resources for participating in the discussion: Ohio U's Trans 101* : Primer and Vocabulary guide; GLAAD's Transgender Media and Education Program
posted by Lexica on Jul 13, 2014 - 18 comments

contempt, they found, is the number one factor that tears couples apart

science says lasting relationships come down to—you guessed it—kindness and generosity.
posted by and they trembled before her fury on Jun 17, 2014 - 91 comments

Alan spilled water on me while I was trying to sleep.

Claire Meyer and Alan Linic, a twentysomething couple in Chicago, have been keeping a public record of every fight they have fought since August of 2013.
posted by SkylitDrawl on Jun 6, 2014 - 78 comments

Friendship delivers what love promises but fails to provide

Friendship uniquely requires mutual self-knowledge and will. It takes two competent, willing people to be friends. You cannot impose a friendship on someone, although you can impose a crush, a lawsuit, or an obsession. If friendship is not reciprocated, it simply ceases to exist or, rather, it never existed in the first place. Andrew Sullivan's book Love Undetectable, illuminated via BrainPickings.
posted by Athanassiel on Apr 28, 2014 - 27 comments

A Vimeo short about love and loss

I went through a pretty rough break up this year and it was not great. I wrote and made this in the midst of all that. It's a tombstone and love letter and I hope you enjoy it.
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Jan 14, 2014 - 14 comments

We had some good years

Over his long career, the renowned photojournalist Art Shay, 91, has taken thousands of photographs of kings, presidents, Hollywood celebs, and sports stars—chronicling people’s lives and news stories all over the world for such magazines as Time, Life, and Chicago. But his favorite subject of all was his wife of 67 years, Florence. Sometimes Florence would be the focal point of his photos—front and center, smiling, dancing, or reading. Life Through a Leica
posted by timshel on Jan 14, 2014 - 7 comments

Love 2.0

There is no such thing as Everlasting Love. Apparently all we have are "micro-moments of positivity resonance." Deflating the Love Myth, just in time for Valentines Day? [more inside]
posted by cross_impact on Feb 12, 2013 - 52 comments

How I Fell in Love with a Schizophrenic

Kas Thomas writes about his "all-in" relationship with Sally, a woman diagnosed with schizophrenia. Yesterday, my true love, Sally, had a psychotic break and went into the (mental) hospital, where she'll probably be for the next two weeks. Today, I'm writing as a means of therapy. Therapy for me. I knew going into this relationship that it would entail ups and downs, and hard work... [more inside]
posted by winecork on Jan 1, 2013 - 86 comments

“I have a tremendous amount of love and support in my life”

A remarkably non-sensational report on polyamorous families. Bookended by 50 Shades of Grey and Gigolos, this 20/20 "special report" on Sierra, Martin, Molly, David, Aaron, Romy, Mark, and J provides a lovely counterpoint to the usual moralizing hand-wringing one finds in media coverage of open relationships.
posted by smammy on Dec 26, 2012 - 14 comments

Burning bodices

The first sexual revolution: lust and liberty in the 18th century
posted by Artw on Jan 21, 2012 - 17 comments

The universe, Carl Sagan, a golden record, chance and love

Click the photo at the top of the linked page to view The Voyagers, a rumination on the universe, love, a golden record and two small space probes.
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Dec 26, 2011 - 4 comments

Angry Jane Doe

Angry Jane Doe: "I have started to sleep around. I sleep with men I am not dating. I sleep with men and refuse to date them, actually. I come to their houses, fuck them, say thank you for a nice time, and don't let the door hit me on the ass on the way out. You might think this is a pretty good deal, but it is not. Because I fuck and tell. Because I'm pissed." (NSFW.) [more inside]
posted by velvet winter on Jul 27, 2011 - 339 comments

Strangers, Again

Strangers, Again, a short film by Wong Fu Productions, takes viewers on an introspective journey through the stages of a romantic relationship. (Previous Wong Fu Production films on Metafilter)
posted by SkylitDrawl on Apr 26, 2011 - 2 comments

Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define

Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define is the winner of a 2008 New York Times essay competition asking college students to write about what love is like for them. The competition runs again this year.
posted by shivohum on Apr 14, 2011 - 70 comments

A More Perfect Union

In his project A More Perfect Union, artist R. Luke Dubois aggregated language used in the profiles of 19 million single Americans on 21 dating sites. He then organized the data to create "dozens of insanely detailed city and state maps which tell a wonderfully rich story about who we are, or at least, who we claim to be." A Video about the project. (R. Luke Dubois, previously on MeFi.)
posted by zarq on Mar 31, 2011 - 15 comments

Things were wonderful once

1. Tin Huey T-Shirt. 2. A silk-screened poster from the Sept. 22, 2000, Mary Timony (of Helium) concert in Oberlin, Ohio. 3. "Crazy Rhythms" by the Feelies (on white vinyl). 4. A big-ass dining room table. 5. The Futon. 6. One audio MiniDisc of the Black Keys' first live performance, July 2002. 7. 7. One black-and-white photo of Patrick and me, taken in 2003, at Apple Studios. A marriage, and divorce, in seven mementos.
posted by Horace Rumpole on Mar 3, 2011 - 28 comments

Pandering to Philanderers

Cheating, Incorporated: The Infidelity Economy. "Looking to sneak around on your spouse? Got a little cash to spend? The CEO of Ashley Madison, a website whose own backers don't even want to be associated with, is happy to take your money." (Previously on MeFi) [more inside]
posted by zarq on Feb 11, 2011 - 69 comments

Set phasers on Awwwwww

"You were the best Wolverine I've ever seen. We talked for a while, just standing in the crowd. I wish I could find a picture of us. Hopefully, I'll see you at another convention soon."
posted by nomadicink on Sep 8, 2010 - 46 comments

Defining passion, as a mother

"Yes, I have four children. Four children with whom I spend a good part of every day: bathing them, combing their hair, sitting with them while they do their homework, holding them while they weep their tragic tears. But I'm not in love with any of them. I am in love with my husband."
posted by Brandon Blatcher on May 27, 2009 - 182 comments

haven't had a dream in a long time

'You loser!" screamed Katie, aiming a vase at her husband. "You've destroyed my life,'' she continued, hurling it. "Just look at my hair, look at my nails! You loser, you jerk, you nobody."

Katie's husband, Jack, whose property portfolio disintegrated in the financial crash, had just told his wife that she would have to cut back on her thrice-weekly visits to Nicky Clarke, the nail salon in Harvey Nichols, and the oxygen facials, chemical peels and seaweed wraps at Space NK.
posted by plexi on Nov 28, 2008 - 91 comments

Man For Young Girl To Become My Wife

Man For Young Girl To Become My Wife is the Time Cube of romance
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 on Sep 19, 2008 - 145 comments

barbed wire kisses

The New York Times has finally come out and said it - marriage is about money.
posted by plexi on Sep 11, 2008 - 58 comments

Life as an asexual couple

Despite not being physically attracted to other people, Paul Cox, 24, explains how he and his wife found love and happiness as an asexual couple.
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Sep 9, 2008 - 189 comments

30 day sex (or no sex) challenge

A church in Tampa, FL has issued a 30-day sex challenge: If you're married, have sex every day (PDF of daily workbook). If you're not married, don't have sex at all (PDF of daily workbook). There's a blog, there's a billboard, there's a lot of press. [more inside]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero on Feb 27, 2008 - 213 comments

She don't... What now?

You talked to her father, prepared a YouTube worthy proposal, gathered all your courage.... and she said no. How will your life go on? And what are you going to do with the ring? Enter I Do... Now I Don't, an auction site that caters to broken-hearted lovers such as you. Started by a fellow who has been there. Buy if you dare. Via
posted by ThePinkSuperhero on Feb 26, 2008 - 19 comments

Looking for love in all the wrong places

Furverts, Expectoration, and Body Inflation. A handy guide to the other side of Valentine's Day.
posted by plexi on Feb 14, 2008 - 45 comments

A 1950s Woman's View on Women and Sex

Sex and the College Girl, by Norah Johnson A view from an educated woman in the 1950s: "Two criticisms rise above the rest: people in college are promiscuous, for one thing, and, for another, they are getting married and having children too early. These are interesting observations because they contradict each other."
posted by shivohum on Nov 20, 2007 - 24 comments

I HATE YOOOOOOOOOU!

"I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS DAMN WORLDDDDDDDDDD"... A dramatic reading of a break-up letter. (Audio may be NSFW, but the text is entertaining even without the audio) Via.
posted by amyms on Jul 1, 2007 - 84 comments

Opposites attract

Science says opposites may attract.* So does this cat. *Or, opposites may be less likely to cheat.
posted by onlyconnect on Feb 14, 2007 - 22 comments

US Army gives advice on picking a partner

US Army Teaches Troops How to Pick a Spouse "Army chaplains are trying to teach troops how to pick the right spouse, through a program called "How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk. ... It teaches the lovestruck to pace themselves with a R.A.M. chart — the Relationship Attachment Model — which basically says don't let your sexual involvement exceed your level of commitment or level of knowledge about the other person."

I can't decide if this is common sense or takes all the fun out of love. If, indeed, there is any fun in it. Details on the programme can also be found at www.nojerks.com
posted by badlydubbedboy on Feb 7, 2006 - 43 comments

90% Matematch guaranteed or your money back

The Mathematics of Love - predicting, with 90% accuracy, what will happen to a relationship over a three-year period.
posted by daksya on Apr 19, 2005 - 33 comments

All Our Yesterdays

The Death of Yesterday Twenty years ago, an everyday virus destroyed Clive Wearing's brain. Now, all he can remember is music -- and his wife. Here, Deborah Wearing tells how their enduring love has become the one constant in a marriage without memory.
posted by matteo on Jan 23, 2005 - 29 comments

What's a boringcake?

Because "honky" is fun to say, and a lot of us could use some angry, profane, hilarious, and well-intentioned advice.
posted by blendor on Jan 8, 2005 - 23 comments

Lust And Love

Why Are Love And Lust Always Talked About As Opposites? Even a much-respected philosopher like Simon Blackburn makes this essentially epistemological mistake. The horrific modern expression "in lust" is a further example. How can you lust after someone without loving them a little (or a lot) too? Or vice-(and the word vice is well applied)-versa? [More inside.]
posted by MiguelCardoso on Dec 20, 2003 - 75 comments

Math

Every Unhappy Family Has Its Own Bilinear Influence Function.
posted by semmi on Apr 25, 2003 - 19 comments

How Are You Gentlemen?! You have no chance with the ladies. Make your time.

Attention Men: Woo your love tonight by transforming yourself into a 19th Century Gentleman. Oh, who says civility is dead? Although your Maxim may tell you how to bring your mate into ecstacy during takeoff in an airplane restroom, perhaps it's time that we all take a hint from this Gentlemen's Guide to really well-bred Ladies. Then, sweep her off her feet by learning to dance at An American Ballroom Companion's Dance Instruction Manuals, which features plenty of videos for you to study. Ladies, do you yearn for more old-school gentlemen in your life? Would you swoon? Because I need a date tonight.
posted by Stan Chin on Feb 14, 2003 - 11 comments

City as Loser?

City as Loser? Iron City was ranked last out of 40 cities in this year's "Best Cities for Singles" in Forbes magazine. Not that Forbes is the ultimate arbiter of the single life (don't they specialize in male readers over 35 with money?), but your best defense of Pittsburgh or your own medium- or small-sized town would be appreciated.
posted by engelr on Jun 11, 2002 - 26 comments

Did the earth move for you?

Did the earth move for you? Encouraging to see good things coming from bad. Suddenly bickering with a partner doesn't seem so clever. Hugging and - yes - sex might just be the right response. Relationships stronger after 9.11? How's yours?
posted by grahamwell on Sep 29, 2001 - 16 comments

How many times have you cheated?

How many times have you cheated? Did you feel sorry for it, or did you just enjoy yourself? And did you still love the one you cheated on? How many times would you have to cheat before you admit you aren't really in love with your S.O?
posted by stoneegg21 on Sep 4, 2001 - 31 comments

Jane Want Relationship, Tarzan Want Sex.

Jane Want Relationship, Tarzan Want Sex. A study seems to confirm what women have long suspected -- women seek security in relationships, while men stick around for the sex.

The study says that in most species, monogomy is the top choice when fertility is hidden. Wonder if they took into account the Pill? ;)
posted by jennak on Apr 26, 2001 - 14 comments


Couples who click online,

Couples who click online, notably Meg Hourihan and Jason Kottke. Photo as well.
posted by jhiggy on Feb 11, 2001 - 53 comments

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