543 posts tagged with marriage.
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The women in my family had to be good with money

"I was twelve, in that liminal state between childhood and womanhood, still playing with dolls but also shopping for training bras. Eager to soak up lessons about what it meant to be a woman, I watched, and learned, never once questioning why a woman who had a job had to hide money from her husband." (Previously somewhat related on mefi: The Fuck Off Fund.)
posted by dorothyisunderwood on Aug 21, 2016 - 68 comments

The Tanzanian wives

​In the Mara region of northern Tanzania, Abigail Haworth discovers an empowering tribal tradition undergoing a modern revival
posted by Joe in Australia on Aug 7, 2016 - 7 comments

I have also been corresponding with what I think is a robot at Hotmail.

The Emails of Natalie Portman and Jonathan Safran Foer by Jonathan Safran Foer [The New York Times] For over a decade, the Oscar-winning actress Natalie Portman and the author Jonathan Safran Foer have amassed countless email exchanges about family, creativity and angry koalas — until earlier this year, when their epistolary archive mysteriously disappeared. On the eve of her ambitious directorial debut, the old friends start anew, reconnecting online to reflect on how the times have changed, and how they have changed over time.
posted by Fizz on Jul 14, 2016 - 83 comments

I'm Just A Person

A couple of days later, I stood in front of a mirror and slowly unbuttoned my shirt. When I looked down, what I saw turned out to be just a flat chest with fresh scars on their way to looking healed. My stitches had dissolved. I took my shirt off and stared at myself, thinking, “Lake was right, I can do this.” - Tig Notaro on luck, love, family, friends, fame, stand up, her new book, and life after breasts
posted by nadawi on Jun 11, 2016 - 11 comments

Richard and Anthony

In April of 1975, Richard Adams and Anthony Sullivan sought a green card for Mr. Sullivan, as Mr. Adams' husband. 41 years later, "the green card, granting Anthony permanent resident status in the United States, was issued on the 41st anniversary of his Boulder, Colorado marriage to Richard — a same-sex marriage that remained in the record and which was never invalidated by Colorado officials. "
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Jun 8, 2016 - 9 comments

The good news is that it doesn’t matter

[A] hopeful, generous, infinitely kind gamble taken by two people who don’t know yet who they are or who the other might be, binding themselves to a future they cannot conceive of and have carefully avoided investigating. Alain de Botton explains why you will marry the wrong person.
posted by gottabefunky on Jun 5, 2016 - 59 comments

The Drip, Drip of Emotional Abuse

"Why did I stay? I stayed because I was isolated; I was financially dependent on him; I was sleep deprived; I was told and I believed I was worthless; I was worn down from constantly being on guard for the next attack. I stayed because I was more afraid to leave."
posted by stoneweaver on Apr 27, 2016 - 61 comments

When to stop dating and settle down, according to math

Optimal stopping is a math theory that can be used to solve real world decision problems. In the real world, it is often applied to help decide when to stop dating and get married.
posted by reenum on Feb 28, 2016 - 61 comments

Charles Darwin’s List of the Pros and Cons of Marriage

“My God, it is intolerable to think of spending one’s whole life, like a neuter bee, working, working, & nothing after all.”
posted by cotton dress sock on Feb 15, 2016 - 16 comments

You savor the repetitive, deliciously mundane rhythms of survival

What Romance Really Means After 10 Years of Marriage "You are both screwed, everything will be exactly this unexciting until one of you dies, and it's the absolute greatest anyway."
posted by jillithd on Feb 15, 2016 - 52 comments

AIM love, IRL

"I changed the quotes in my AOL Instant Messenger profile almost daily, and fretted over the right combinations of font and color to make my IM voice look as bright and edgy as I wanted to be in real life. I started conversations with acquaintances who made me feel shy in person. I imagined I had inner beauty and wit, and that in chatrooms and AIM was where I could shine until that outer beauty showed up. And slowly, the IRL me started to become more like the me I allowed myself to be online... Matt and I built our relationship over AIM. We used AIM because it was our most practical option; like many teenagers in the year 2001, we didn't have cell phones. We did have computers in our respective bedrooms, though, and parents who weren't expecting phone calls after dinner hours."
posted by ChuraChura on Feb 12, 2016 - 28 comments

It was never about the glass

She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By the Sink
posted by Dressed to Kill on Jan 22, 2016 - 252 comments

(non)Marriage Equality

Couple to begin court fight against ban on heterosexual civil partnerships Rebecca Steinfeld and Charles Keidan, who describe themselves as feminists and reject marriage as a “patriarchal” institution, will pursue their claim against the government’s equalities office on Tuesday. The case is being brought on the grounds that the refusal to allow them to participate in a civil partnership amounts to discrimination, breaching their right to family life under article 8 of the European convention on human rights. [more inside]
posted by modernnomad on Jan 21, 2016 - 35 comments

Vietnam lifts ban on same-sex marriages

Vietnam becomes the first South-East Asian country to abolish a ban on same sex marriages.
posted by divabat on Jan 17, 2016 - 25 comments

Mail Order Brides

"Marcia Zug is an associate professor of law at the University of South Carolina who specializes in family law. She is writing a book due out in May 2016 on the international marriage industry, called 'Buying a Bride: An Engaging History of Mail-Order Matches.' The reason that mail-order brides continue to be popular, she tells me, is that conditions for women in some countries remain bleak, and as long as women have few prospects for a good match at home, they will look elsewhere for someone to start a family and life with. [more inside]
posted by josher71 on Jan 15, 2016 - 33 comments

Fresh roses dropped into her lap every day

I am not Catholic, and yet I find myself drawn to the women saints. There is something about them that I admire. Maybe it is simply the lengths to which they went to avoid marrying.
posted by roolya_boolya on Jan 11, 2016 - 22 comments

Equality is necessary, but it is not enough.

"Last week the Empire State Pride Agenda, one of the nation's largest LGBT advocacy groups, announced its closure. This came on the same day that staff members of Freedom to Marry finished packing up their cubicles, and a few weeks after cutbacks had been announced by other gay equality groups. For decades the LGBT movement has advocated for legal equality. The new LGBT movement should recognize that equality is necessary, but it is not enough." [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Dec 23, 2015 - 55 comments

Swipe right on monogamy

Swipe right on monogamy [more inside]
posted by triggerfinger on Dec 23, 2015 - 71 comments

"There's the Jamaican bobsled team, so TAKE THAT, stereotypes!"

Black Folk Don’t...” is an open conversation that invites everyone to take a second look at the grey areas between us all, no matter the race, and most importantly to do it with a sense of humor. This documentary web series is a special presentation of BlackPublicMedia.org, directed and produced by Angela Tucker, with support from the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. Did you know that black folk don't… [more inside]
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey on Dec 17, 2015 - 14 comments

The Notorious RBG

'Marty Was Always My Best Friend': Ruth Bader Ginsburg's Love Story, an excerpt in Jezebel from the new book Notorious RBG: The Life and Times of Ruth Bader Ginsburg by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik. [Don't read this unless you're ready to sob like a baby.]
posted by Ragini on Nov 8, 2015 - 16 comments

I'm not one to speak out on the LDS church... But this has gone too far!

Mormon Church makes same-sex couples apostates, excludes children from blessings and baptism
More details in the Salt Lake Tribune.

Mormon Church Bleeding Members Over Gay Marriage
posted by andoatnp on Nov 6, 2015 - 238 comments

America's Child Marriage Problem

In the United States today, thousands of children under 18 have recently taken marital vows — mostly girls married to adult men, often with approval from local judges. In at least one case, a 10-year-old boy was legally married. [more inside]
posted by melissasaurus on Oct 14, 2015 - 91 comments

The Spiritual Ordeal of Marriage

National Magazine Award Finalist Katy Butler describes a heartfelt experience attending the Art and Science of Love, a Gottman workshop, with her "almost husband". "I remember the cautionary words of Wendell Berry in an essay on marriage...'Some wishes cannot succeed. . . . Because the condition of marriage is worldly and it's meaning communal, no one party to it can be solely in charge. What you alone think it ought to be, it is not going to be. Where you alone think you want it to go, it is not going to go. . . . When you unite yourself with another, you unite yourselves with the unknown.'" John Gottman's well-known research on successful marriages.
posted by storybored on Oct 3, 2015 - 20 comments

Take *that*, assholes

A Modest Proposal - David Sedaris talks about the pros and cons of getting hitched
posted by a lungful of dragon on Sep 21, 2015 - 30 comments

I have never turned heads

My husband is honest enough to say he's never found my body sexually attractive. And yet, we have a happy marriage.
posted by roolya_boolya on Sep 15, 2015 - 190 comments

What happens when women propose to men

"Reactions to that one simple gesture (a marriage proposal, from a woman) contain sexist multitudes. After all, women are conditioned from an early age—by Disney, their families, the wedding industry—to hope for marriage, but simultaneously discouraged from taking any initiative in making that marriage happen. And men are expected to fear—or at least resist—matrimony. Should they decide they'd like to wed, they're required to spend an enormous amount of financial and emotional capital to create a (preferably public) display of atypically masculine vulnerability and emotionality. The sheer popularity of YouTube proposals complete with flash mobs, tear-y eyed assembled family, and the bride's shocked gasps caught in three angles is a strong indicator of the pedestal upon which we place these stories. With the reverse proposal, all this fanfare is still required, but both partners face the prospect of a lifetime of ribbing and weird comments from strangers..."
posted by John Cohen on Sep 5, 2015 - 84 comments

Marital privilege and singlism after Obergefell v. Hodges

"Now all of us single people are pathetic, not just the straight ones. “Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there,” writes Justice Anthony M. Kennedy in the majority opinion of the Supreme Court in Obergefell v. Hodges. ...Isn’t it enough to be denied the “constellation of benefits that the States have linked to marriage”? A constellation my coupled queer sisters and brethren now can hold dearly if they just make it official? Once again, being single is the dreary, awful, mournful alternative to marriage. A condition to be pitied, and quickly corrected by a sprint to City Hall." (Spinsters previously)
posted by Lycaste on Jul 6, 2015 - 82 comments

Why should it be limited to just two individuals?

It’s Time to Legalize Polygamy: Why group marriage is the next horizon of social liberalism.
No, Polygamy Isn’t the Next Gay Marriage: Group marriage is the past—not the future—of matrimony. [more inside]
posted by andoatnp on Jul 1, 2015 - 181 comments

Being Disabled Means No Marriage Equality For Many People

Getting married means losing life saving services for many people with disabilities. "How do you tell a person to choose between having food to eat and getting married? How do you tell a person to choose between their medication or their therapy or their wheelchair or their program that helps them to be more independent and self-sufficient and getting married?"
posted by stoneweaver on Jun 29, 2015 - 51 comments

Well, let’s not go there yet, and let’s certainly not start there.

The Seven Minutes In 2000 When The Clinton White House Considered Endorsing Marriage Equality (SL Longform Buzzfeed)
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Jun 17, 2015 - 10 comments

Sex Simply Wouldn't Be the Same Without These 11 Kickass Women

Women haven't always gotten to play a big role in the scientific advancements, studies and cultural conversations concerning sexuality. […] But numerous powerful women have elbowed their way in, taking control over female sexuality and introducing innovations that actually what women want and need.
[more inside] posted by ellieBOA on Apr 30, 2015 - 15 comments

These are nobody's memories

"There is nothing borrowed, or blue." As the Sixth Circuit marriage cases head to the Supreme Court on Tuesday, LGBT organizations make their closing arguments via YouTube.
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Apr 26, 2015 - 16 comments

Is this the real life? Is it just fantasy?

Congressman Steve King of Iowa has introduced an innovative way of settling any marriage-related court cases that may crop up in the United States. Not all analysts agree with the approach, though.
posted by Evilspork on Apr 23, 2015 - 67 comments

Who pays for the legal battle over same-sex marriage?

As a historic constitutional showdown over gay marriage looms this month at the U.S. Supreme Court, attorneys are fighting over another bitterly disputed issue: their fees. In some cases, the fee requests run well into seven figures and are submitted on behalf of powerful law firms that a Reuters examination found have outsized access to the Supreme Court. Individuals and advocacy groups that file lawsuits aimed at the high court sometimes retain big-firm lawyers who specialize in arguing in that forum and boast remarkable success rates in getting their cases heard.
posted by sciatrix on Apr 18, 2015 - 14 comments

"First of all, things need to be very, very rainbow"

An Idaho State Senator, Paul Shepherd, has called on the state to impeach federal judges who struck down the state's anti-SSM law. One mistake, though. He forgot to renew the domain for his re-election campaign, and now a gay nerd has taken it over.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering on Mar 25, 2015 - 21 comments

We landed at Baltimore, sat on the tarmac for a little bit, said ‘I do.'

Buzzfeed profiles Jim Obergefell, the widower whose case will be heard, among others, at the Supreme Court in next month. [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Mar 23, 2015 - 27 comments

The improbable story of one of America’s first same-sex marriages

"In their youthful days, they took each other as companions for life, and... this union, no less sacred to them than the tie of marriage, has subsisted, in uninterrupted harmony, for forty years, during which they have shared each other’s occupations and pleasures and works of charity while in health, and watched over each other tenderly in sickness."
posted by Blue Jello Elf on Mar 21, 2015 - 7 comments

Reaching this conclusion was not easy for the governor.

This afternoon, the Puerto Rican Secretary of Justice announced that Puerto Rico will no longer defend the lawsuit against the ban on same-sex marriage, which is pending at the First Circuit Court of Appeals. [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Mar 20, 2015 - 13 comments

38 / 50

In Nebraska, U.S. District Judge Joseph Bataillon has struck down the state's anti-SSM laws as unconstitutional. He has issued an injunction allowing the state until March 9th to appeal.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering on Mar 2, 2015 - 28 comments

Child Bride Mother

In Guatemala, the legal age of marriage is 14 with parental consent, but in Petén, in the northern part of the country, the law seems to be more of a suggestion. Underage brides are everywhere. They parade endlessly through Petén’s hospital in San Benito, seeking medical care. Most have traveled from the villages along the mud-soaked roads that flow out in all directions. I visited almost a dozen of these villages to meet some of the child brides of Petén for the latest Too Young to Wed transmedia project, this one a partnership with the United Nations Population Fund. Guatemala was the 10th country I had worked in documenting the issue of child marriage since 2003, after a chance encounter with several young brides in Afghanistan.
posted by josher71 on Feb 10, 2015 - 4 comments

... and Alabama makes 37.

It's marriage day in Alabama. The Supreme Court refused to stay the marriage equality decision in Alabama, and couples started to marry today (lots of amazing adorable pictures throughout). [more inside]
posted by joycehealy on Feb 9, 2015 - 91 comments

“Writing is not a linear process. It’s all work. This is work.”

Put On Some Pants and Get Out: Writing a Book Without Destroying a Marriage by Brian Stavely
posted by Fizz on Jan 30, 2015 - 22 comments

The Myth of the Gay Community

"I am the gay community that many people think of, that gets to have its voice heard, who considers the prospect of marriage. But it certainly doesn’t end with me." (SL Atlantic)
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Jan 30, 2015 - 19 comments

"I don't want you to hate me, and I don't want you to disown me."

Oklahoma. This was a place where Kathryn's workplace had a cussing jar, a quarter per swear, and the words written on it, “Let Go and Let God.” Here, Christianity was the religion — Tracy and Kathryn were believers — and Oklahoma football was the religion — Tracy and Kathryn were believers — and people could be decent and kind and judgmental, sometimes all at once, which was why, when Tracy told some Rotary Club friends that she and Kathryn were getting married, she kept her eyes planted above their heads so she wouldn't have to look at their faces.
posted by Rhaomi on Jan 24, 2015 - 70 comments

Another one bites the dust

“If anything, Alabama’s prohibition of same-sex marriage detracts from its goal of promoting optimal environments for children,” U.S. District Court Judge Callie V. S. Granade wrote in a brief 10-page opinion, concluding, “[T]he court finds that Alabama’s marriage laws violate the Due Process Clause and Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution.”
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering on Jan 23, 2015 - 65 comments

Being Buddhist, Being Gay — George Takei

When the Supreme Court of the State of California ruled for marriage equality in 2008, we seized the opportunity. Having founded the Japanese American National Museum (I’m still a trustee on the Board there), we wanted to have our wedding there, in the “Democracy Forum” building. It was, after all, democracy that made our formal union possible. And Brad too had embraced Buddhism by now, so it could be a Buddhist wedding. We chose Rev. Briones of the Nishi Hongwanji Temple to be our officiant because he personifies Buddhism’s diversity, being that he’s a Mexican American Buddhist minister.
[more inside] posted by Elementary Penguin on Jan 14, 2015 - 19 comments

The failure of My Husband's Not Gay is one of style, not substance.

The Profound Lack of Empathy in "My Husband's Not Gay" [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Jan 12, 2015 - 111 comments

I want to feel what he feels

A Sunni-Shia Love Story Imperiled by al Qaeda (by Ruth Michaelson).
Sabrine and her soldier husband managed to marry against all odds, including her family’s wrath. Now, their love story faces an even bigger threat—his abduction by the Nusra Front.
posted by Golden Eternity on Dec 26, 2014 - 3 comments

Miami, Miami, you've got style....

On August 21, a federal judge in Florida ruled that that the state's ban on same sex marriage was unconstitutional, but the ruling was stayed until January 5. Although the state Attorney General appealed the ruling and asked for a further stay, both the 11th circuit, and os of last night the Supreme Court have denied the appeal, and Florida will become the 36th marriage equality state on January 6th. [more inside]
posted by roomthreeseventeen on Dec 20, 2014 - 36 comments

Half of all marriages - oh, wait

"It is no longer true that the divorce rate is rising, or that half of all marriages end in divorce. It has not been for some time. Despite hand-wringing about the institution of marriage, marriages in this country are stronger today than they have been in a long time. The divorce rate peaked in the 1970s and early 1980s and has been declining for the three decades since." [more inside]
posted by showbiz_liz on Dec 2, 2014 - 95 comments

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