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What is a man and a woman?

Kudzu and the California Marriage Amendment Proposition 8 Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry: Initiative Constitutional Amendment SECTION I. Title This measure shall be known and may be cited as the "California Marriage Protection Act." SECTION 2. Article I. Section 7.5 is added to the California Constitution, to read: Sec. 7.5. Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. The biggest problem is that laws like the California initiative will make the courts decide who is male and who is female — and all available decision criteria create unavoidable miscarriages of justice that will, or should, dismay initiative proponents. You're probably thinking, about now, that I'm going to exaggerate the sex-definitional 1 problem: Probably, you and everyone you know is unambiguously male or female — or at least has always believed himself or herself to be so, and nobody's challenged that, and nobody's likely to. That's true, absolutely: Only maybe one live birth in 100 has some non-standard sex anatomy, and genetic anomalies are slightly rarer than that. However, let's talk about those 1-in-100 or 1-in-1000 cases — because those could be you, or your aunt, or your best friend — and because our system of law has to deal with 1-in-1000 situations, too.
posted by robbyrobs on Jul 21, 2011 - 50 comments

Normal

U.S. Census Data for California: Married Couples with No Children are now the largest number of households, at 26%. 'New census figures show that the percentage of Californians who live in "nuclear family" households — a married man and a woman raising their children — has dropped again over the last decade, to 23.4% of all households. That represents a 10% decline in 10 years, measured as a percentage of the state's households.' [more inside]
posted by VikingSword on Jul 20, 2011 - 57 comments

Marriage in America

Divorce rates are higher than ever? Think again. A large majority—92%—of children whose families make more than $75,000 a year live with two parents (including step-parents). At the bottom of the income scale—families earning less than $15,000—only 20% of children live with two parents. Of those who first tied the knot between 1975 and 1979, 29% were divorced within ten years. Among those who first married between 1990 and 1994, only 16.5% were.
posted by lohmannn on Jul 20, 2011 - 40 comments

Why s/he stays

"If there's one thing I've learned from working in an emergency room, it's that people are terrible liars. Maybe I only think that because the good liars don't get caught? [...] And a lie I hear almost every day in the emergency room is "I fell down the stairs. My partner loves me. They would never hurt me." [...] For a long time, I just couldn't understand this. We'd get the victim in a private room locked away from the abuser, and they'd sit there with bruises or wounds or even broken bones, in a safe place surrounded by people who wanted to help them, and they'd tell us, often through tears... "I fell down the stairs." It drove me nuts. It made me furious at the victims. Why did they do this? Did they like pain? Did they want to get murdered? Were they just unbelievably stupid? Why the HOLY LIVING FUCK would someone choose to protect and return to a partner who just broke their arm? [more inside]
posted by fiercecupcake on Jul 18, 2011 - 75 comments

Married, With Infidelities

Dan Savage speaks about the concept of monogamy.
posted by reenum on Jun 30, 2011 - 356 comments

A Happy Life Depicted in Diagrams

The Harvard Study of Adult Development is the longest prospective study of mental and physical well-being ever conducted. For 72 years, researchers at Harvard have been following 824 individuals through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood, and old age. Designer Laura Javier took ten of those cases and visualized them in the Elements of Happiness. [via flowingdata]
posted by anifinder on Jun 27, 2011 - 13 comments

Wedding Photos

Some Russian wedding photos. One or two of them might have been photoshopped. Related video, featuring the white birch, which is Russia's national tree.
posted by Greg Nog on Jun 14, 2011 - 55 comments

"What we’re about to do is redefine what the American family is. And that’s a good thing."

"This is it." This week, the final push is on for marriage equality in New York and it looks like the state is closer than ever. [more inside]
posted by lalex on Jun 13, 2011 - 274 comments

There's a little quantum mechanics involved.

An easy way to have sex without having to communicate. The Forty Beads method, invented by sex therapist Carolyn Evans, relies on tokens that allow a husband to give his wife a bead (by putting it in her "beadcatcher") when he's "in the mood," with a 24-hour deadline for "redemption." (Evans also says the roles can be reversed for those low-libido husbands/high-libido wives).
posted by emjaybee on Jun 5, 2011 - 257 comments

'Til Death Tries To Do Us Part And Beyond

The Honeymoon From Hell. Stefan and Erika Svanstrom had planned a long trip that would start in Singapore in early December and end in China four months later. But things didn't go exactly as planned. They encountered floods, fires, tsunamis and earthquakes along the way.
posted by mannequito on May 6, 2011 - 14 comments

No Marriage Until Gay Marriage Is Legal

The Douglass Blvd. Christian Church in Louisville, Kentucky has voted to stop signing marriage licenses until gay marriage is legalized by the state.
posted by reenum on Apr 25, 2011 - 87 comments

A Modest Proposal

Gearbox Software helps a fan with a modest proposal. (with some help from Borderlands' Claptrap and Anthony from "Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'?"
posted by empath on Apr 24, 2011 - 29 comments

Carolyn Wonderland's vows. Monkee included!

Why did Carolyn Wonderland sing her wedding vows to her husband A. Whitney Brown? Because she can. The Story [NYT link]. Also, a pic of the happy couple with Michael Nesmith presiding. [more inside]
posted by KevinSkomsvold on Apr 15, 2011 - 20 comments

10 years of cheese-eating, clog-wearing, tulip-loving, same-sex marriage

1 April 2011 marks the 10th anniversary of the legalization of same-sex marriage (homohuwelijk) in the Netherlands. [more inside]
posted by neushoorn on Mar 30, 2011 - 28 comments

Single in the Pulpit? Good luck to you!

With Few Jobs, an Unmarried Pastor Points to Bias “Prejudice against single pastors abounds,” Mr. Almlie wrote in articles (Part 1, Part 2) he posted on a popular Christian blog site in January and February, setting off a wide-ranging debate online on a topic that many said has been largely ignored.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero on Mar 21, 2011 - 76 comments

Same Sex Marriage in Maryland

Last week, the Maryland Senate approved legislation that would legalize same-sex marriage. A half-hour ago, after a whole lot of drama, the bill was passed by the House Judiciary Committee.
posted by amarynth on Mar 4, 2011 - 43 comments

Things were wonderful once

1. Tin Huey T-Shirt. 2. A silk-screened poster from the Sept. 22, 2000, Mary Timony (of Helium) concert in Oberlin, Ohio. 3. "Crazy Rhythms" by the Feelies (on white vinyl). 4. A big-ass dining room table. 5. The Futon. 6. One audio MiniDisc of the Black Keys' first live performance, July 2002. 7. 7. One black-and-white photo of Patrick and me, taken in 2003, at Apple Studios. A marriage, and divorce, in seven mementos.
posted by Horace Rumpole on Mar 3, 2011 - 28 comments

And the battle of the sexes continues...

Sex Is Cheap: Why young men have the upper hand in bed, even when they're failing in life. Remember this thread from last weekend? Here is another interesting take on the dynamics of modern heterosexual relationships.
posted by fernabelle on Feb 25, 2011 - 138 comments

Danny & Annie

"Danny and Annie Perasa tell the story of their twenty-seven-year romance. From their first date to Danny’s final days with terminal cancer, this is an intimate and heartbreaking look at true love."
posted by SkylitDrawl on Feb 20, 2011 - 19 comments

Cruel to be kind? Or just cruel?

TV writer (!) and memoirist Tracy McMillan breaks it down for the single ladies: Why You're Not Married. And in a particularly cruel twist, it runs the day before Valentine's Day. Some folks don't appreciate her advice; others mind it a lot less than they expected to. Oddly, Jezebel apparently has nothing to say on the matter.
posted by GrammarMoses on Feb 17, 2011 - 79 comments

Pandering to Philanderers

Cheating, Incorporated: The Infidelity Economy. "Looking to sneak around on your spouse? Got a little cash to spend? The CEO of Ashley Madison, a website whose own backers don't even want to be associated with, is happy to take your money." (Previously on MeFi) [more inside]
posted by zarq on Feb 11, 2011 - 69 comments

If you were my kid, I'd be proud.

19-year-old's testimony goes viral. 19-year-old Zach Wahls talks about his family at the Iowa gay marriage hearing. He's well-spoken, polite and compelling. Iowa passed a resolution that will let voters decide. I have something in my eye.
posted by Kitteh on Feb 2, 2011 - 53 comments

Marriage Commissioners must wed same-sex couples

Right before the 10th anniversary of the first same-sex marriage in Canada, Saskatchewan's highest court has ruled that a proposed law allowing provincial marriage commissioners to refuse to wed same-sex couples is unconstitutional. Thecourt.ca gives its thoughts on the decision and the social context surrounding it.
posted by Lemurrhea on Jan 19, 2011 - 40 comments

The Proposal

The Proposal. "After a decade of being together, I finally proposed to my long time love Sara. [This] movie trailer was shown on December 12th, 2010 at 4pm at the Red River Theater in Concord, NH. Sara had no idea." [more inside]
posted by zarq on Dec 17, 2010 - 60 comments

Polygamy in Canada

Will Canada be the first developed nation to decriminalise Polygamy? After Charter challenges legalised orgies, prostitution (most recently "living off the avails"), same-sex marriages, non-sexual adult interdependent relationships, common-law marraiges and multiple legally recognised spouses in Saskatchewan, the West Coast is now hosting a unique reference case in B.C.'s superior court considering whether section 293 of the Canadian Criminal Code is legal under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. [more inside]
posted by saucysault on Nov 22, 2010 - 119 comments

Don't go together like a horse and carriage...

Time Magazine (with commentary from Jezebel) look at the question - why would people get married in 2010? These are reports based on a Pew Research survey that complements results with findings from census data. [more inside]
posted by k8t on Nov 18, 2010 - 104 comments

A very special comics message from Leigh Gallagher

How to propose on the internet (if you are a highly talented comics artist)
posted by Artw on Nov 3, 2010 - 56 comments

The Fleeing Finns

Record-breaking numbers of Finns leave the national church of Finland following a gay rights panel discussion on TV. [more inside]
posted by sively on Oct 18, 2010 - 61 comments

Jewish newspaper: "Sorry for being so inclusive! It won't happen again."

Two weeks ago, a Jewish newspaper in New Jersey, the Jewish Standard, published a wedding announcement for a same-sex Jewish couple. Now they're apologizing for it and saying it won't happen again. [more inside]
posted by Tin Man on Oct 5, 2010 - 152 comments

NOM Exposed

NOM Exposed collects information about the National Organization for Marriage (NOM), a secretive front group for the Mormon and Catholic churches which funds other front groups across the country, in their fight against recognition of same-sex marriage rights in the United States. NOM Exposed pulls together biographies about the leadership behind the organization, the ties to extremist religious and other groups, the money trail and the shadowy outfits where the cash leads, the organization's ethical, campaign finance, and other legal violations across the country (such as that pointed to here), and various propaganda that NOM uses to spread its message.
posted by Blazecock Pileon on Sep 30, 2010 - 95 comments

Now will you say something about my new hat?

"A Collection of the Best Marriage Cartoons by the Foremost Comic Artists" from 1955. Part Two. The good old days, when you could beat your husband and bash your wife. Selected for the web by a 2010 cartoonist who's better than that.
posted by oneswellfoop on Aug 27, 2010 - 20 comments

Gay Marriage: Not So Great?

Not all queer or LGBT people are for legalizing gay marriage. The Against Equality collective argues that legalizing marriage values one type of relationship over another (.pdf), doesn't do enough for queer people of colour, and plays into the larger class struggle. Beyond Marriage calls for "access to a flexible set of economic benefits and options regardless of sexual orientation, race, gender/gender identity, class, or citizenship status". Queer activists in Maine consider the marriage issue a "distraction from improving the lives of gay people", and Questioning Transphobia argues that "marriage by its very nature is an exclusive practice, its purpose is to ennoble some relationships and by default render other relationships to be less meaningful and less worthy of legal and social recognition". Mainstream queer women's website Autostraddle ponders all this and asks: does gay marriage make gays straight?
posted by divabat on Aug 20, 2010 - 236 comments

What Is It About 20-Somethings?

Twenty-somethings today don't quite fit the definition of adolescence or adulthood. This has thrown the human development gurus for a loop. [more inside]
posted by reenum on Aug 18, 2010 - 136 comments

The numbers behind H8

With a ruling scheduled today on Prop 8 — the California ballot measure that took away the right to marry from same-sex couples — Dave Fleischer has an in-depth analysis of all of the polling data on Prop 8, and his findings include some counter-intuitive numbers, like that the confusing wording actually ended up helping the No vote more than the Yes.
posted by klangklangston on Aug 4, 2010 - 619 comments

ADHD and marriage

Attention Disorders Can Take a Toll on Marriage “It’s been a revelation,” the wife said. “I didn’t realize what a critical piece the A.D.H.D. has been in my marriage.” Treatment of ADD in marriages.
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 on Jul 22, 2010 - 42 comments

Cryonics and marriage

Until Cryonics Do Us Part: The men who want to be cryonically preserved, and the women who sometimes find it hard to be married to them.
posted by homunculus on Jul 11, 2010 - 137 comments

DOMA unconstitutional

The federal Defense of Marriage Act has been ruled unconstitutional by Judge Joseph Tauro of the District Court of Massachusetts.
posted by fireoyster on Jul 8, 2010 - 149 comments

A lengthy engagement

"Wow, what a long engagement that was!" During a chance second encounter in Baltimore in 1945, Henry Schalizki, now 88, and Bob Davis, now 89, met and fell in love. More than six decades later, the couple finally legalized their union.
posted by a.steele on Jun 28, 2010 - 60 comments

One way to move on after a divorce

My wife of 12 years packed up her belongings last year and moved out of our home. After her car was loaded I couldn't help but notice that a single item remained in her section of our closet, her wedding dress. "You forgot something" I told her. She replied "And what's that?". "Your wedding dress", I said. "Yeah, I am not taking that" was her response. "What do you expect me to do with it?" I asked. And to that she replied, "Whatever the $%^@# you want". And this is what I did.....
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Jun 24, 2010 - 105 comments

All you need is love

Mass wedding for former Tamil fighters Fifty-three couples of former Tamil Tiger rebels were married Sunday ... at a rehabilitation camp near the northern town of Vavuniya. [more inside]
posted by kliuless on Jun 13, 2010 - 7 comments

It's a small world after all

Disney World photo captures couple together 15 years before they met.
posted by crossoverman on Jun 12, 2010 - 52 comments

Sentimental dynamics

Mathematical model explains marital breakups.
posted by twoleftfeet on May 18, 2010 - 20 comments

"The so-called Victorian conception of women's sexuality was more that of an ideology seeking to be established than the prevalent view or practice of even middle-class women."

"Some enjoyed sex but worried that they shouldn't. One slept apart from her husband 'to avoid temptation of too frequent intercourse.' " Standford Magazine on the accidental discovery of an unpublished sex survey of American women made 55 years before Kinsey . (via)
posted by The Whelk on Mar 31, 2010 - 50 comments

Marriage: a brief lesson in database design

A database engineer considers marriage. Starts with heterosexual monogamy and eventually produces a schema that can handle...well, some interesting arrangements.
posted by d. z. wang on Mar 10, 2010 - 56 comments

"Real men marry women"

When Washington D.C. began licensing same-sex marriages last week, this story came out on the paper edition of the Washington Post with this photo on the front page. (WARNING: the photo depicts two men kissing) The paper received complaints from upset readers, some of whom canceled their Post subscription. Andrew Alexander, the Post's ombudsman, responds: "There was a time, after court-ordered integration, when readers complained about front-page photos of blacks mixing with whites. Today, photo images of same-sex couples capture the same reality of societal change."
posted by Baldons on Mar 10, 2010 - 86 comments

Catholic Charities Denies Health Benefits To Spouses

I am writing to you to inform you of an important change to our group health care benefit plan that will take effect on March 2, 2010 due to a change in the law of the District of Columbia. [more inside]
posted by Joe Beese on Mar 3, 2010 - 163 comments

Will marry for health insurance

Will marry for health insurance. "They're not going to pass health-care reform, so what are my options? Friends and I were joking, and one friend said,'Well, you could always marry some guy who has a good policy.' And I thought, You know what. That's crazy. That's unbelievable, but it's my only option." [more inside]
posted by velvet winter on Feb 19, 2010 - 179 comments

funemployment

How a New Jobless Era Will Transform America
The Great Recession may be over, but this era of high joblessness is probably just beginning. Before it ends, it will likely change the life course and character of a generation of young adults. It will leave an indelible imprint on many blue-collar men. It could cripple marriage as an institution in many communities. It may already be plunging many inner cities into a despair not seen for decades. Ultimately, it is likely to warp our politics, our culture, and the character of our society for years to come. (via rw)
posted by kliuless on Feb 11, 2010 - 84 comments

When The Saints Go Marching In

A white kid adopted by a Japanese-American couple, he grew up hearing stories of his grandmother raising his dad in an internment camp while his grandfather fought in Italy, and didn't eat a baked potato until he was eight. He went to UC Berkeley. He's vocal in his support for marriage equality. Scott Fujita is a linebacker for the New Orleans Saints.
posted by rtha on Feb 7, 2010 - 57 comments

Many Successful Gay Marriages Share an Open Secret

New York Times: "A study to be released next month is offering a rare glimpse inside gay relationships and reveals that monogamy is not a central feature for many. Some gay men and lesbians argue that, as a result, they have stronger, longer-lasting and more honest relationships. And while that may sound counterintuitive, some experts say boundary-challenging gay relationships represent an evolution in marriage — one that might point the way for the survival of the institution."
posted by andoatnp on Jan 29, 2010 - 143 comments

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