MetaFilter posts tagged with masturbation

A Heartbreaking Wank of Staggering Spunkage

wendell — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 03:13:33 -0800

61 literary euphemisms for masturbation…
via the always discreeet Miss Cellania
(and yes, we've had something similar here before, but it missed this list, which is, you know, literary)

We are all sinners.

gman — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:49:09 -0800

Masturbation in the animal kingdom.

Bringing New Meaning to 'Flogging the Bishop'

Navelgazer — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:54:09 -0800

Does it cause hairy palms? (No, that is a myth.) Will it make you go blind? (No, though zinc deficiency can be detrimental to one's vision, and semen contains a small amount of zinc.) Are you going to hell for it? (Maybe, maybe not.) But what if it helps with conception? (well, the men doing it, anyway)

No hair on the palms?

cjorgensen — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 13:35:41 -0800

Luxo Jr. goes blind. (SLYT). Previous spoof (not as long or as funny). 22 years ago Pixar made the film short Luxo Jr. (you can see a clip here).

RIP Ayveq

homunculus — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 21:44:54 -0800

Death of a legend.

Something "special" in the air?

bitter-girl.com — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:46:03 -0800

Woman sues American Airlines for not preventing in-flight masturbation. Oh sure, they can tell breastfeeding mothers to cover up, but when it comes to American Airlines and a fellow passenger ejaculating into a sleeping female passenger's hair? No problem!

Things I Have Failed To Masturbate To

jonson — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 19:03:44 -0800

Things I Have Failed To Masturbate To. Via.

Moral fiber

serazin — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 10:31:56 -0800

Porn Flakes and their fallout. Previously.

Masturbating elephants for science

homunculus — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 20:21:09 -0800

"One guy I know got a black eye from being hit by an elephant’s penis."

Are upper lips the only things allowed to be stiff in Britain?

goodnewsfortheinsane — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 16:52:12 -0800

Sorry lads - Wank Week is cancelled. Channel 4's planned series on masturbation, which would have come this month and which was to feature such illuminating documentaries as "I Can't Stop Wanking" and "Masturbation for Women" (ukguard@mailinator.com/tester), as well as a portrait of the UK's first masturbate-a-thon, has been pulled as a result of the recent Big Brother controversy. Would-be viewers feel stiffed and wonder why 4 is being so hard on its viewers, who are now left to entertain themselves.

A Teenage Guide to Self-Control

punkfloyd — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 08:28:37 -0800

At a certain age, young people get seemingly uncontrollable urges. But, in accordance with God's plan, these urges must be controlled.

Don't knock it...

dirtynumbangelboy — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 15:51:23 -0800

Air guitar? Been done. Air sex? More fun!

Turnabout is fair play.

BeerFilter — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 18:05:37 -0800

You Jackin' It? The Daily Show's Jason Jones gets an interview with Carl Monday, CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER, discussed here previously.

Smells like Pulitzer. Or something.

docgonzo — Mon, 24 Jul 2006 07:58:49 -0800

"Where's my pitbull?" In which our 'hero', Carl Monday, CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER, attends the sentencing of Mike Cooper, an "unemployed porn site user", caught pleasuring himself at a local library. (Metafilter passim; via Deadspin's full coverage of Carl Monday.)

Getting caught pulling the goalie

docgonzo — Fri, 26 May 2006 07:27:15 -0800

This [youtube] is what happens when an "unemployed porn site user" and CARL MONDAY, CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER meet at a local library. [via the always excellent Deadspin]

Art? Porn? Who cares?

dirtynumbangelboy — Sun, 07 May 2006 08:05:43 -0800

Every Playboy centerfold, December 1953 - May 2006. [NSFW]
Every Playboy centerfold, 1960-1999. [NSFW, via]

Three cheers for solo sex.

bigmusic — Mon, 23 Jan 2006 19:45:52 -0800

Over one thosand online masturbation confessions (nsfw): Categorized for your convinence. I thought grouphug had the market cornered. I guess not when it comes masturbation. I doubt Josh would approve. These links go to potentially bad places -- don't let your mom catch you

Jackinworld

ColdChef — Sat, 26 Nov 2005 15:02:55 -0800

Chances are, of all the things you've heard about masturbation, most of them were absolutely false. For some reason, misinformation surrounds masturbation like virtually no other topic. Since JackinWorld's goal is to debunk misinformation, here are some of the myths commonly believed about masturbation — and the truth about each. All you ever really wanted to know about something we all already know plenty about. NSFW.

Blame Canada.

showmethecalvino — Fri, 28 Jan 2005 05:07:53 -0800

Same-sex marriages in Canada may be coming soon, but that's nothing. The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that it's OK to masturbate in front of your windows! (Full ruling here, previous mefi discussion here.) The Conservatives in Canada worry that all this moral decadence may lead to polygamy, but Canada's had a polygamist community for some time now. Still, the government does seem to be examining the issue. Meanwhile, parents in Atlantic Canada are outraged their children are learning about mutual masturbation and oral sex. What's next -- adults-only barbershops? Oh, wait....

fwappa

Pretty_Generic — Sun, 07 Nov 2004 07:56:01 -0800

Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism by Mark Twain

Property values to increase!

shepd — Tue, 02 Nov 2004 19:37:13 -0800

Touching yourself at home with the blinds open hot Canadian debate topic!

The world is in your hands

iffley — Fri, 29 Oct 2004 14:56:27 -0800

A Young Man's Guide to Masturbation

There's a good Q&A: "How can you tell if a girl likes you? Is it bad to stick your penis in the vacuum cleaner hose or that long thing you use to get in cracks and corners?" (age 13)
If she smiles at you, she probably likes you. And you already know the answer to your second question.

Mainly, the site wants you not to do it wrong. [Thank you Monkeyfilter]

Here comes the Judge

thatothrgirl — Thu, 24 Jun 2004 11:59:04 -0800

The justice system at work. A sitting Judge in Oklahoma has been removed from the bench for using a male enhancement pump, pleasuring himself and oiling his nether regions during court proceedings - including an August 2003 murder trial. At least he was awake during the proceedings, unlike other judges.

When health takes a back seat to ... taste?

magullo — Mon, 08 Sep 2003 06:49:46 -0800

We already knew that frequent masturbation might cut prostate cancer risk. But it turns out that this is not a message fit for American families. The details of the Lewinsky episode splattered across front pages of the US and abroad come to mind, but also Nancy Reagan pleading for stem research.

killing kittens?

jasper411 — Wed, 23 Jul 2003 13:56:08 -0800

Have you or your neighbors killed any kittens lately? Way back in the mists of time, a farkism combined a kitty with a couple of domo-kuns and came up with a saying equating masturbation with killing a kitty.

This site has taken the concept and is attempting to make it into a community weblog -- except the community is limited to those who are taking solo flights into orgasm. The site seems almost innocent, at least now (though it'll probably get over-run with explicit commercial grossness in a while).

Although the interface is nowhere near as clean, my experience with the site reminded me of the early days of amihotornot. I was at it for hours, tripping out on who was masturbating in my state, and what they were thinking, let along who was doing what in other places all over the world (not many global participants, yet).
With this wierd mixture of deeply personal revelations and total anonymity, is this one of those things that only the internet can do? Or am I a total git for thinking this is interesting? (via memepool)