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Don't believe the hype?

"I bet you look good on the dancefloor" is the new single by a hitherto unknown Sheffield band called the Arctic Monkeys. [warning direct QT link] Media hype has meant demand for their London gig is so high they have moved from playing a pub to playing the London Astoria. Their observations on northern culture have drawn comparisons with Oasis and Kaiser Chiefs - or will they go the way of other bands picked up then dumped by the media? (anyone remember Gay Dad?) Whether or not they last, you will probably be hearing them quite a lot in the next few months.
posted by greycap on Oct 1, 2005 - 46 comments

Sleep is for suckers!

The experimental wake-up drug CX717 is the the talk of the internets. But who needs it when Modafinil (aka Provigil, aka Alertec) has been available by prescription since 2001? And if you don't want to get a prescription, there's always Adrafinil, its metabolic precursor, which is marketed as a "supplement". After all, caffeine is, like, soooo last century.
posted by exhilaration on Aug 23, 2005 - 24 comments

"You're a helper monkey! This isn't helping!"

Helper monkeys! Severely disabled people can get trained monkeys to help them out in their daily chores, though sometime this causes problems. Haven't you always wanted a monkey? The Mesa SWAT Team certainly want one.
posted by Kattullus on Jun 17, 2005 - 23 comments

YAAAAH FIDO! (and give me a banana while you're at it...)

Dog-riding monkeys in professional rodeo. Only in America can a guy like this or this character make a living by having monkeys ride dogs in rodeos (Realvideo). Now they've gotten news coverage in the past, but what I would give for them to come to my part of the world. And more photos please! Wow. Sometimes I love this country.
posted by AspectRatio on May 10, 2005 - 8 comments

NewPoopFlingers.com

This monkey business has finally gone too far [warning: cackling].
posted by thedevildancedlightly on Apr 13, 2005 - 17 comments

Cognition Update; Bushmeat

Hey Summers: Male [monkeys] more susceptible to age-related cognitive decline.
"Gay men adopt male and female strategies. Therefore their brains are a sexual mosaic".
Exotic animals on the menu: Bush/Meat ‘05.
posted by mcgraw on Mar 2, 2005 - 29 comments

Ook

A gallery of gorilla (and ape, and chimp, and monkey, and bonobo) comic book covers via Neil Gaiman's blog
posted by Capn on Feb 22, 2005 - 14 comments

Monkeys and Robots

Sure, monkeys are willing to pay for pr0n, but will the robots?
posted by mcgraw on Feb 2, 2005 - 20 comments

Famous trio should've been the Nairobi...

Ballerina. Vulcan. French. it's a rainbow of sock monkey flavors that I never knew existed. (via Slumbering Lungfish)
posted by PinkStainlessTail on Dec 29, 2004 - 5 comments

New Monekys and Species this year

A new species of monkey turned up in India [NYTimes or Rediff]. Though the monkeys are new to science, people in the area are quite familiar with them. They call them "mun zala" or deep forest monkeys. It's a stocky, short-tailed, brown-haired creature they have named the Macaca munzala, or Arunachal macaque. Maybe not that excting for those of us not excited by, uh, mokeys, but did you know this year there have been other new things discovered? A new species of plec and one of Neon goby, even more exciting, a new electric fish was found as well. A quick search turned up dozens of new fish this year. ABC News says 178 new things found in the oceans this year alone, raising the number of life-forms found in the world's oceans to about 230,000. The big question is, of course, how many of those will Taste Like Chicken? The bad news on the little critter front is 1 in 10 bird species could vanish within 100 years, and I bet they all taste like chicken.
posted by Blake on Dec 16, 2004 - 16 comments

Save the Planet, One Macaque at a Time

Adopt an Ex-Lab Experiment Monkey
The BUAV (British Union for the Abolition of Vivisection) is sponsoring an adoption program to help care for some 50 macaques that had been owned by a lab in Thailand to be used for scientific experiments. After some publicity, they were pressured into releasing the little monkeys just prior to their last experiment that would have killed them all.
posted by fenriq on Nov 16, 2004 - 33 comments

Kingacus Kongnificus

Six foot tall ferocious lion killing species of ape discovered in jungles of the Congo. Or they could be giant chimpanzees. Or half-breeds. The discovery has baffled scientists.
posted by stbalbach on Oct 9, 2004 - 30 comments

I wasn't there!

For the second time in as many years, the rhesus monkeys have escape from the Tulane University National Primate Research Center.
posted by Katemonkey on Aug 10, 2004 - 19 comments

Bali Monkeys

Is it a gargoyle? No, it is the heartwarming, sly, naughty long-tailed Macaque monkey of Bali, creature of myth and of the Sacred Forest. It may think it's a gargoyle, or perhaps it's only dreaming of Notre Dame
posted by Shane on Jul 16, 2004 - 6 comments

Simian Cybernetics

Brain implants 'read' monkey minds. (No, not that monkey mind.) A group of CalTech neuroscientists have been able to predict the actions of monkeys by observing neural activity in the parietal and premotor cortices related to planning and motivation (PDF.) Other research previously allowed monkeys to control a robotic arm with their minds; this observed the higher-level goal and value signals, and could lead to more natural thought-activated prosthetic devices for people with paralysis. [Via MonkeyFilter.]
posted by homunculus on Jul 10, 2004 - 29 comments

Primate Poker

I'll raise you 5 bananas. What do Primate Programmers do in their off hours? Using David Sklansky's theorys to play Texas Hold'em online. As a poker-playing, programming, primate myself, I can relate.
posted by bashos_frog on May 22, 2004 - 2 comments

year of the monkey

Strange performances, communication, odd colors and hooligan monkeys. It is the year of the monkey
posted by hypnorich on Jan 29, 2004 - 6 comments

Robo-Monkey

We will create a cybernetic race of robo-monkeys. [via Washington Post]
posted by gwong on Oct 13, 2003 - 34 comments

The Monkey Shakespeare Simulator

Can monkeys really recreate Shakespeare? So far they've managed to get 6 letters from King John. Set your own monkeys at work, and see if they can do better!
posted by Orange Goblin on Aug 8, 2003 - 20 comments

Monkeyfilter!

I'll say it: It's time someone did something about the Monkeys. Over the last two years they have established a clear cut pattern of terror & harassment in countries ranging from Eastern India, Jakarta, Tokyo, Sri Lanka or New Dehli, and the fact remains that it's only a matter of time before these crazed foreign monkeys make their way to places I could actually find on a map, or possibly even America, (possibly in this guy's pants). When they come, and they will, will our leaders protect us from their savage rampage? Or is it too late - are they already among us?!?
posted by jonson on Jul 22, 2003 - 18 comments

Not MY great grandmother......

Eek eek! - Jennings Bryan spins in his grave: "Chimpanzees are so closely related to humans that they should properly be considered as members of the human family, according to new genetic research." [BBC] In the early 1900's, Jennings Bryan offered $100 in cash to anyone who signed an affidavit declaring that he personally was descended from an ape.
posted by troutfishing on May 20, 2003 - 45 comments

But can they blog?

Apparently monkeys cannot write Shakespeare.
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood on May 9, 2003 - 69 comments

Willard appointed assault commander

According to UPI, the United States has been offered by coalition partner Morocco its tide-turning force of 2,000 monkeys trained to detonate land mines. It wouldn't be so unbelievable if the U.S. wasn't already training dolphins and sea lions to do the same. Considering the carnage already happening to humans in Iraq, this news doesn't inspire thoughts of happy endings for our animal friends.
posted by XQUZYPHYR on Mar 27, 2003 - 28 comments

ElfTrance

ElfTrance. High Bandwidth Elf Goodness.
posted by homunculus on Mar 20, 2003 - 10 comments

Fly, my pretties, fly!

Monkeys on the loose! Twenty-four Rhesus monkeys from the Tulane University National Primate Research Center escaped on Tuesday, causing chaos and mayhem in Covington, Louisiana. And as amusing as escaped monkeys can be, it's funnier because this isn't the first time. Twenty four other Rhesus monkeys escaped in October 1998 just by poking at the latch for a bit. Call me irrational, but wouldn't you change the gates back then? (I didn't do it, I wasn't there, you can't prove anything!)
posted by Katemonkey on Mar 13, 2003 - 23 comments

Monkey Painting

Monkey Painting. No, it's not monkeys that paint, but rather a new fad in low-rent art circles. They're selling like hotcakes on ebay. But don't forget sock monkeys, sea monkeys, and of course, those monkeys typing out Shakespeare.
posted by vraxoin on Dec 27, 2002 - 32 comments

Donald Roller Wilson

Donald Roller Wilson - explore the entertaining gallery of this artist called "...a Gothic storyteller with the phenomenal technique and precision of an old master." Some say he takes his silliness seriously. Meet his menagerie of lavishly costumed monkeys, dogs and cats. Collector and fan Robin Williams describes his art as "Hieronymus Bosch meets P.T Barnum, Faulkner meets Dr. Seuss, and Leakey meets Freud. " site requires flash. registration is optional.
posted by madamjujujive on Nov 1, 2002 - 7 comments

So you want a pet monkey?

So you want a pet monkey? Owning a monkey is a big commitment. Do your research before taking in a primate. For example, consider famous monkeys in history. Don't forget you'll need to learn how to diaper your monkey. If you live with someone, be considerate and discuss your desire for a pet monkey with them or just send them a card. Decide what kind of monkey you want. Perhaps a little red monkey like this or this? If all else fails, try a sock monkey instead. You can buy one or make it yourself. Not into sock monkeys you say? Adopt an out of work dotcommer. Rumor has it there's even a chimp in the White House.
posted by VelvetHellvis on Aug 23, 2002 - 60 comments

Monkeys use millipede juice as Ecstacy-style party drug

Monkeys use millipede juice as Ecstacy-style party drug They bite the millipedes, then reach behind their back and rub it on their fur...Their eyes glaze over...one monkey shared a millipede with four family members and the entire family turned into a 'writhing mass.' How cute is that? For context, here's a December report of wild primates ingesting plants with stimulant and hallucinogenic properties. Welcome to the new field of Zoopharmacognosy, which studies the spontaneous medicinal (and recreational) use of plants by non-human animals. An intro to the subject. Perhaps now you're ready to chew on Terrence McKenna's visionary notion that psychedelic mushrooms were the spark for the development of consciousness in apes.
posted by mediareport on Aug 11, 2002 - 25 comments

always mount a scratch monkey

The iTunes article reminds me of an important lesson in computer work: always mount a scratch monkey.
posted by plinth on Nov 6, 2001 - 4 comments

Monkeys are capable of abstract reasoning

Monkeys are capable of abstract reasoning according to recent research, which may have "profound implications for the evolution of human intelligence and the stuff that separates homo sapiens from other animals."

Just so long as there are enough bananas to go round, it's OK by me ...
posted by walrus on Oct 16, 2001 - 30 comments

For all those requesting, nay demanding more monkeys, or just anyone with a Chuck Palahniuk fetish, SPACE MONKEYS!
Read the homework sections, there's some sick monkeys out there.
posted by signal on Oct 15, 2001 - 3 comments

Make love not war.

Make love not war. Amoung humans closest relatives, these monkeys solve conflict by makeing love. A lot. Female dominate society they have no homicide and tensions in the group are non existent.
posted by stbalbach on Jul 1, 2001 - 17 comments

Monkeys head/brain transplanted to another monkeys body.

Monkeys head/brain transplanted to another monkeys body. Yeah, some poeple think it's unethical, but I think it's cool. At least in fantasy. Imagine the horror stories if they tried it on humans......
posted by SexyParapalegic on Apr 6, 2001 - 17 comments

Monkey Versus Robot

Monkey Versus Robot will set you free! How can you deny the power of the internet when it brings you riches such as this? M-O-N-K-E-Y R-O-B-O-T
posted by cornbread on Mar 29, 2001 - 35 comments

Hello, My name is Nate. I am the Loop Monkey.

Hello, My name is Nate. I am the Loop Monkey. I ride the Penn State Loop with my stuffed monkey named Qwan. We ride the Loop on the weekends and play with drunk people!
posted by Hankins on Mar 23, 2001 - 3 comments

Vaccine Prevents AIDS in Monkeys

Vaccine Prevents AIDS in Monkeys and could lead to human medicine. Exciting huh? Anyway, if that should happen, how much do you think they'll charge for treatment, considering the conspiracy theories and all that?
posted by tiaka on Mar 9, 2001 - 11 comments

are behind a wave of burglaries in the port city of Durban" "The adaptable vervets have become ingenious and efficient raiders who break into houses..." / "The monkeys, about 75 centimetres tall, like to squeeze through security bars and small windows." / "Police have rejected the idea of shooting or poisoning the monkeys, but that does not stop residents from taking potshots at monkeys that feed in their suburban gardens. The gunshot victims - those that survive..."
posted by tiaka on Feb 28, 2001 - 13 comments

Amok, amok, amok!

Amok, amok, amok! For some reason, I find this hilarious. Imagine watching Clinton sprinting across the Whitehouse lawn trying to beat the monkeys to the waiting helicopter while the Marines fight a desperate rear-guard action. We don't have any of the cool stuff here.
posted by CRS on Jan 9, 2001 - 2 comments

Tale of the Coke Monkeys.

Tale of the Coke Monkeys. GAH! Coke may lead to Cannabis! It's Salon, but it's hilarious.
posted by snakey on Nov 29, 2000 - 4 comments

Parisian Attack Monkeys

Parisian Attack Monkeys used by thugs in place of guns. What would Charlton Heston say?
posted by stbalbach on Oct 15, 2000 - 12 comments

The Guerrilla Banner Project

The Guerrilla Banner Project It's not my website, but I am a participant. Does that make me a linkwhore?
posted by Mick on Apr 6, 2000 - 7 comments

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