There are five key rules to using your status update to maximum status-signifying effect. Learn from the masters: "(to the dude on the A train who said he was NYLON's digital director, attempting to impress some girl 1. Nice try but that's my job 2. And I'm flattered but that's some wishful thinking, babe, because it's an amazing job but it's sadly never gotten me laid!)" By placing her bragging in the lying mouth of a subway stranger, this updater covertly asserts the prestige of her position and at the same time insulates herself against similar claims. Particularly masterful is the covert assumption here that her position is one sufficiently grand to be the ethereal stuff of A train boasting.
NY Mag instructs six New Yorkers to chronicle their sex lives for a week. Results? Men under report masturbation. Married people don't have sex. Thirty-something female theater directors are where it's at ... and this gem, "If I had a boyfriend, I wouldn’t have blacked out and lost my wallet!"