This Super Bowl halftime, make it to the Lingere Bowl. American TV hits a new low by inventing another sport along the lines of Foxy Boxing and Hot Oil Wrestling. The gridiron action features Team Dream vs. Team Euphoria (featuring washed-up former NFL players as coaches) in full contact football while wearing skimpy clothing. Even weirder, but there will be cheerleaders to cheerlead the players that are already dolled up to look like cheerleaders in some sort of subtle hot lesbian action. It's all pay-per-view, but this "Girls Gone Football" seems more like a new low than a step forward for real women's sports.
Did anyone else make the mistake of ordering the worst pay-per-view ever? No, not The House of 1000 Corpses, but ten admittedly beautiful women wearing huge headgear and attempting (with little success) to pound the crap out of each other. It sounds better than it actually was -- trust me!
ESPN's Bill Simmons spent $9.95 on Shaquille O'Neal's Celebrity Birthday Roast pay-per-view so you won't have to.