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homunculus (3)
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Believe it or don’t, turtles are horrifically well endowed...

Terrifying sex organs of male turtles
posted by Dim Siawns on Aug 9, 2014 - 50 comments

"Another search warrant 'for pictures of his erect penis'"

A 17 year-old Virginia teenager who is under investigation for sending a consensual sext to his 15-year-old girlfriend may be forced to have an erection in front of police as evidence in the case. [more inside]
posted by porn in the woods on Jul 9, 2014 - 85 comments

"Everyone On Wall Street Is A Dick."

The two-day Interactive Telecommunications Program (ITP) graduate showcase at NYU was a madhouse, with some 100 projects on view, ranging from groundbreaking innovations to timely trinkets. But the most talked about project by far was Peiqi Su's "Penis Wall" - an array of 81 robotic phalli that rise and fall in response to the stock market. Official Vimeo account for the project - Thesis presentation - in depth How-it-was-made production blog. (Slightly NSFW if your work doesn't like white, plastic, abstract dicks.)
posted by The Whelk on May 23, 2014 - 14 comments

Unhung Hero

Patrick Moote's marriage proposal was rejected in front of a large crowd at a UCLA basketball game. When he asked his former girlfriend why, she told him it was because his penis was too small, which led to him creating a cockumentary called Unhung Hero. [more inside]
posted by gman on Feb 17, 2014 - 151 comments

If I only had a...

Many people have wondered about Metafilter over the years. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Metafilter had human body parts? Wonder no longer. NSFW Metafilter's anus: The Elite Restless Labyrinth. [more inside]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering on Jan 12, 2014 - 66 comments

Godless Dinosaur Sodomites

"Now, I don't write many short stories these days, but I'm a sucker for the right kind of charity approach. And besides, I had a hypothesis I wanted to test: that every short story can be improved by adding dinosaurs and sodomy." SF author Charles Stross (metafilter's own) shares a short shaggy dog story he wrote back in 2011 containing sex, waterfowl, and reverse-engineering evolution: "A Bird In Hand."
posted by The Whelk on Nov 27, 2013 - 35 comments

Penis Beaker

Mumsnet, the popular social network of (mainly UK) parents, suffered traffic load issues today due to a post-coital hygiene question. [more inside]
posted by Wordshore on Oct 9, 2013 - 231 comments

100% ANON, NO SIZE SHAMING

"this is not a bad dick pic, but it suffers from some classic mistakes. the first is that you’ve gone for basically a full-tilt bird’s eye view, which makes me feel like i’m you and i’m looking down on my own dick. the second is that the lighting/flash is highlighting the head of your dick in a slightly alarming, “whoah there” way, and your dick pic, like most dick pics, would benefit from some softer lighting." [NSFW]
Critiquing your dick pics with love, where "the size of your dick is not determinative of your ability to take a good dick pic, and i will never grade you down on the basis of your size."
posted by youarenothere on Sep 27, 2013 - 99 comments

He doesn't know that his old bone is captured by all these cell phones

A (NSFW) Dispatch From The Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Competition
posted by capnsue on Jul 22, 2013 - 46 comments

Embryonic koro in birds

Cocks (almost) don't have a penis, a trait common to 97% of bird species, but they can grow one when the expression of the Bmp4 gene is prevented. The expression of this gene causes the percursor of the phallus in the chick embryo to undergo apoptosis (cell death) and Bmp genes are also involved in 3 other bird traits: feather development, toothlessness and beak shape. In penis-less bird species, copulation requires a sex maneuver nicknamed the cloacal kiss (in French) which requires a full cooperation of the female (3 min of tender parrot sex). In species where males have a penis, like ducks, females are less lucky: the coevolution of the rather convoluted morphology of male and female genitalia has been hypothezised to occur through sexual conflict [many previouslies]. The evolutionary mechanisms that drove phallus reduction in most birds species are still unknown.
posted by elgilito on Jun 11, 2013 - 20 comments

Make way for ducklings. (NSFW)

Ze Frank explains the duck penis.

You're welcome.
posted by R. Schlock on Apr 22, 2013 - 54 comments

Selection pressure

Researchers have found that size does matter as it relates to overall proportions of the male body (PNAS link, PDF)
posted by Blazecock Pileon on Apr 8, 2013 - 233 comments

Reports of genital theft have spread like an epidemic

"Elaborate greetings are the norm, I’ve found, when one enters a Central African village. So it was a surprise when I noticed that many people weren’t shaking hands the morning I arrived in Tiringoulou, a town of about 2,000 people in one of the remotest corners of the Central African Republic, in March 2010. I soon found out the reason: the day before, a traveler passing through town on a Sudanese merchant truck had, with a simple handshake, removed two men’s penises." [more inside]
posted by not_the_water on Mar 25, 2013 - 52 comments

Richard the Wurm

Hahaha, that worm looks like a penis! Oh, wait, that's the headline. Well, for the most part: 'Missing link' connects two weird, wormy sea creatures [more inside]
posted by rosswald on Mar 13, 2013 - 10 comments

DETACHABLE PENIS

Sea slug sheds its penis after sex, scientists find. This happens all the time. It's detachable.
posted by ninjew on Feb 13, 2013 - 59 comments

Penis Pan

So, you own a Penis Cake Pan, but the Bachelorette Party is over, I'm sure you're thinking, "What am I going to do with this penis pan?" Well, I'll show you! Here at Penis Pans.com, I've put together some examples of other cakes you can make with your penis pan.
posted by cmoj on Feb 4, 2013 - 73 comments

NSFW. Changing female body image through art

The Great Wall of Vagina an exhibition by English artist Jamie McCartney described as a revolutionary with a bucket of plaster.
Included in the exhibition is Physical Photography which brings echoes of Cynthia Plaster Caster.
Then there are Great Wall of Vagina Videos.
For those wanting a cast of their vagina the artist Mearle Gates is the man to turn to.
posted by adamvasco on Jan 17, 2013 - 80 comments

James Deen: Porn's Boy-Next-Door

For any parent concerned about what their teen does online, the huge popularity of the young man you are about to meet may be deeply disturbing. [more inside]
posted by the young rope-rider on Nov 18, 2012 - 212 comments

Giger's Necronomicon

Giger's Necronomicon (yt) (nsfw) - a 1976 documentary about H.R. Giger with music by Joel Vandroogenbroeck of the Brainticket.
posted by Artw on Oct 24, 2012 - 7 comments

Sex crazed, but not too picky

Nature constantly engineers new and creative solutions to all sorts of problems—turning our stereotypes about sex upside-down along the way.
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Sep 17, 2012 - 16 comments

New York Dick

For how long have you been an observer of New York dicks, and what inspired you to put them together in a book?
posted by latkes on Mar 26, 2012 - 22 comments

Penis Panic

The Great Singapore Penis Panic has been short-listed.
posted by Paul Slade on Feb 24, 2012 - 14 comments

What are you doing this Halloween?

His and hers Halloween sex toys. (Previously, related)
posted by hermitosis on Oct 20, 2011 - 64 comments

Contains 100% of your RDI of cute.

Daddy has a...what now? When were you going to tell me this?! [NSFW]
posted by phunniemee on Sep 1, 2011 - 72 comments

Hung like two distributions from the mean

One of the results of unlimited internet porn is that guys invariably compare their own members to those they see on the net. And lots of them aren't happy.
posted by Netzapper on Jul 1, 2011 - 158 comments

So many jokes, so little space...

There's a map for that. If you're looking for a graphic (in a SFW way of speaking) of Penis size around the world...Read it and weep... or what's in the water in Bolivia.
posted by tomswift on Mar 28, 2011 - 110 comments

He spent his days singing and drinking with the ladies and deflowering virgins

Phallus paintings and wood carvings were ubiquitous, like red chilies, all over Bhutan. But now they are fading as Bhutan undergoes prudish self-censorship They come in various sizes, color schemes and embellishments. Some have ribbons tied around them like jovial holiday presents. Others are coiled by daunting dragons. A few even have eyes. They typically feature hairy testicles, from the neatly trimmed to full-on Yeti-style. And, of course, all are fully erect. “Oh, golly,” said an elderly woman visiting from Seattle, when she stepped off the bus in the Punakha valley and found herself surrounded by an alarming concentration of penis imagery, set against a magnificent Himalayan backdrop. [more inside]
posted by KokuRyu on Jan 6, 2011 - 35 comments

RE: Penis Enlargement

[Probably NSFW] Alan Bennett responds to Penis Enlargement spam. [more inside]
posted by nam3d on Oct 13, 2010 - 14 comments

Mind What you Wear

"Keep your man hot. But for when you cannot, Make sure no one else will do it for you. Do not use for birth control!" (Very, very NSFW)
posted by lauratheexplorer on Sep 3, 2010 - 76 comments

Accidental Penis

Accidental Penis (via and previous penis).
posted by cjorgensen on Jul 25, 2010 - 48 comments

Penis As You’ve Never Seen It Before

[NSFW] High Contrast Cock: High resolution photos of my cock and foreskin. (via) [more inside]
posted by andoatnp on Jul 17, 2010 - 210 comments

The duck's penis

Carl Zimmer on the duck's incredibly long, corkscrew-shaped, ballistic penis.
My tale is rich with deep scientific significance, resplendent with surprising insights into how evolution works, far beyond the banalities of “survival of the fittest,” off in a realm of life where sexual selection and sexual conflict work like a pair sculptors drunk on absinthe, transforming biology into forms unimaginable. But this story is also accompanied with video. High-definition, slow-motion duck sex video. And I would imagine that the sight of spiral-shaped penises inflating in less than a third of second might be considered in some quarters to be not exactly safe for work. It’s certainly not appropriate for ducklings.
[As Carl says, video links are possibly NSFW.] [more inside]
posted by chorltonmeateater on Dec 23, 2009 - 59 comments

Detachable Penis Media

"Seed" - an anthology of short fiction published on a USB flash drive shaped like a penis. Sample story. More on the concept without pictures of plastic penises. (Safe for workness may vary)
posted by Artw on Nov 21, 2009 - 30 comments

Size Matters (Sorta Kinda)

If you want a vaginal orgasm, according to a new study size does matter. But is there a hidden agenda behind the study? [more inside]
posted by Effigy2000 on Sep 14, 2009 - 177 comments

Penis information

Possibly NSFW: The human penis, its life cycle, size and myths about it, why it looks like that, what can go wrong with it and last but not least, the anatomy.
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Aug 12, 2009 - 72 comments

World's Oldest Penis

Australian scientists have found the world's oldest penis. Published Monday in the online version of Nature, the discovery of the 400 million-year-old clasper in an ancient fish specimen shows that animals were gettin' it on earlier than previously thought. Says one study author, "We were surprised because it's so big. We were expecting something smaller." SFW
posted by Dilemma on Jul 16, 2009 - 34 comments

Secrets Of The Phallus

Why is the penis shaped like that? [T]he human penis is actually an impressive “tool” in the truest sense of the word, one manufactured by nature over hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution. You may be surprised to discover just how highly specialized a tool it is. Furthermore, you’d be amazed at what its appearance can tell us about the nature of our sexuality.
posted by hippybear on May 5, 2009 - 156 comments

He'll have to scrub it off when he gets back...

60-foot penis painted on roof Sorry. I tried to resist posting this, I really did. But you don't see that headline every day. And then I discovered it was not the first. And then I stopped laughing when I read what this "Christian" blogger thought about it. Then I read the subsequent comments and also this page and felt better again. And as a headline it beats all of these.
posted by magpie68 on Mar 25, 2009 - 69 comments

The sins of man are my condiments. Criminals are my napkin. She forgot pickles. Justice is dead.

Rorschach’s Journal (On a Boring Night).
posted by homunculus on Mar 20, 2009 - 41 comments

A day in the park

Is it a slide or a large uncircumsised appendage? Advances in playground technology - what will they think of next? (via BuzzFeed)
posted by caddis on Sep 10, 2008 - 81 comments

Penis anybody?

Garry Linnell eats hot cock at a local Beijing penis restaurant [SFW]. Suddenly tripe doesn't sound so gross.
posted by wumpus on Aug 9, 2008 - 43 comments

A mind dismembered: In search of the magical penis thieves

According to Ilechukwu, an epidemic of penis theft swept Nigeria between 1975 and 1977. Then there seemed to be a lull until 1990, when the stealing resurged. “Men could be seen in the streets of Lagos holding on to their genitalia either openly or discreetly with their hand in their pockets,” Ilechukwu wrote. “Women were also seen holding on to their breasts directly or discreetly, by crossing the hands across the chest. . . . Vigilance and anticipatory aggression were thought to be good prophylaxes. This led to further breakdown of law and order.” In a typical incident, someone would suddenly yell: Thief! My genitals are gone! Then a culprit would be identified, apprehended, and, often, killed.
posted by chunking express on Jul 8, 2008 - 71 comments

Griefing comes to First Life

BREAKING NEWS: Kasparov assailed by flying dong. Possible inspiration
posted by thirteenkiller on May 19, 2008 - 83 comments

Penis-Theft Victims Get Testy

Koro, previously, has gripped the streets of Kinshasa, Congo. Unlike the 1967 Koro Epidemic in Singapore, which was blamed on tainted pork, the afflicted men in Kinshasa have blamed the psychosomatic penile shrinkage on witchcraft by a rival sect, and responded with attempted lynchings. In order to prevent bloodshed of the kind seen in Ghana a decade ago, police have responded by apprehending the alleged sorcerers. [more inside]
posted by Navelgazer on Apr 25, 2008 - 36 comments

Traumatic anal intercourse with a pig

Zoophilia: a rare cause of traumatic injury to the rectum (first link PDF). [more inside]
posted by homunculus on Feb 23, 2008 - 85 comments

Gee, Your Penis Smells Terrific!

Does Your Penis Smell Perfect? Have you ever asked yourself: "Why is it that no matter how much time and effort I put into washing my penis in the shower, I still get that awful whiff of a rancid smell throughout the day, or even right after a shower?" Nodoro has the solution. There are commercials (Are they real or parodies?) here. Via.
posted by amyms on Jan 10, 2008 - 122 comments

En Garde!

The marine flatworm Pseudobiceros hancockanus engages in penis fencing [video]. SFW, I guess, unless your boss is a super uptight nudibranch or something.
posted by dersins on Aug 15, 2007 - 26 comments

The mini-penis scandal

The Mini-Penis Scandal.
posted by humblepigeon on Jul 13, 2007 - 106 comments

Hitting the Walls and Working the Middle

BYT: A lot of our readers at Brightest Young Things are young women. Is there a main thrust of Vagina Power that you want to communicate directly to them? It was just this morning, on the prompting of a friend, that I found myself examining Alexyss Tylor's Vagina Power again, including our home grown transcript of her vagina power philosophy. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but when I tuned into my favorite website about the D.C. social scene this morning, I fell off my chair. [nsfw]
posted by awesomebrad on Jun 25, 2007 - 40 comments

The Power of the Penis

The Power of the Penis [YouTube],[NSFW]. I'm sorry for making my first post ever a single link YouTube post, but this Atlanta Public Access TV clip is the most educational video I have ever seen. Alexyss Tylor hosts a show on 'Vagina Power 'and 'Penis Power' with her mother. It's about 9 minutes of true insight - women, don't let men hit the bottom or use their penis as a weapon! Separate the love, the orgasm, and the penis, OK? Make sure he buys you the shrimp plate though!
posted by waitingtoderail on Apr 17, 2007 - 302 comments

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