135 posts tagged with penis.
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Penis information

Possibly NSFW: The human penis, its life cycle, size and myths about it, why it looks like that, what can go wrong with it and last but not least, the anatomy.
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Aug 12, 2009 - 72 comments

World's Oldest Penis

Australian scientists have found the world's oldest penis. Published Monday in the online version of Nature, the discovery of the 400 million-year-old clasper in an ancient fish specimen shows that animals were gettin' it on earlier than previously thought. Says one study author, "We were surprised because it's so big. We were expecting something smaller." SFW
posted by Dilemma on Jul 16, 2009 - 34 comments

Secrets Of The Phallus

Why is the penis shaped like that? [T]he human penis is actually an impressive “tool” in the truest sense of the word, one manufactured by nature over hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution. You may be surprised to discover just how highly specialized a tool it is. Furthermore, you’d be amazed at what its appearance can tell us about the nature of our sexuality.
posted by hippybear on May 5, 2009 - 156 comments

He'll have to scrub it off when he gets back...

60-foot penis painted on roof Sorry. I tried to resist posting this, I really did. But you don't see that headline every day. And then I discovered it was not the first. And then I stopped laughing when I read what this "Christian" blogger thought about it. Then I read the subsequent comments and also this page and felt better again. And as a headline it beats all of these.
posted by magpie68 on Mar 25, 2009 - 69 comments

The sins of man are my condiments. Criminals are my napkin. She forgot pickles. Justice is dead.

Rorschach’s Journal (On a Boring Night).
posted by homunculus on Mar 20, 2009 - 41 comments

A day in the park

Is it a slide or a large uncircumsised appendage? Advances in playground technology - what will they think of next? (via BuzzFeed)
posted by caddis on Sep 10, 2008 - 81 comments

Penis anybody?

Garry Linnell eats hot cock at a local Beijing penis restaurant [SFW]. Suddenly tripe doesn't sound so gross.
posted by wumpus on Aug 9, 2008 - 43 comments

A mind dismembered: In search of the magical penis thieves

According to Ilechukwu, an epidemic of penis theft swept Nigeria between 1975 and 1977. Then there seemed to be a lull until 1990, when the stealing resurged. “Men could be seen in the streets of Lagos holding on to their genitalia either openly or discreetly with their hand in their pockets,” Ilechukwu wrote. “Women were also seen holding on to their breasts directly or discreetly, by crossing the hands across the chest. . . . Vigilance and anticipatory aggression were thought to be good prophylaxes. This led to further breakdown of law and order.” In a typical incident, someone would suddenly yell: Thief! My genitals are gone! Then a culprit would be identified, apprehended, and, often, killed.
posted by chunking express on Jul 8, 2008 - 71 comments

Griefing comes to First Life

BREAKING NEWS: Kasparov assailed by flying dong. Possible inspiration
posted by thirteenkiller on May 19, 2008 - 83 comments

Penis-Theft Victims Get Testy

Koro, previously, has gripped the streets of Kinshasa, Congo. Unlike the 1967 Koro Epidemic in Singapore, which was blamed on tainted pork, the afflicted men in Kinshasa have blamed the psychosomatic penile shrinkage on witchcraft by a rival sect, and responded with attempted lynchings. In order to prevent bloodshed of the kind seen in Ghana a decade ago, police have responded by apprehending the alleged sorcerers. [more inside]
posted by Navelgazer on Apr 25, 2008 - 36 comments

Traumatic anal intercourse with a pig

Zoophilia: a rare cause of traumatic injury to the rectum (first link PDF). [more inside]
posted by homunculus on Feb 23, 2008 - 85 comments

Gee, Your Penis Smells Terrific!

Does Your Penis Smell Perfect? Have you ever asked yourself: "Why is it that no matter how much time and effort I put into washing my penis in the shower, I still get that awful whiff of a rancid smell throughout the day, or even right after a shower?" Nodoro has the solution. There are commercials (Are they real or parodies?) here. Via.
posted by amyms on Jan 10, 2008 - 122 comments

En Garde!

The marine flatworm Pseudobiceros hancockanus engages in penis fencing [video]. SFW, I guess, unless your boss is a super uptight nudibranch or something.
posted by dersins on Aug 15, 2007 - 26 comments

The mini-penis scandal

The Mini-Penis Scandal.
posted by humblepigeon on Jul 13, 2007 - 106 comments

Hitting the Walls and Working the Middle

BYT: A lot of our readers at Brightest Young Things are young women. Is there a main thrust of Vagina Power that you want to communicate directly to them? It was just this morning, on the prompting of a friend, that I found myself examining Alexyss Tylor's Vagina Power again, including our home grown transcript of her vagina power philosophy. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but when I tuned into my favorite website about the D.C. social scene this morning, I fell off my chair. [nsfw]
posted by awesomebrad on Jun 25, 2007 - 40 comments

The Power of the Penis

The Power of the Penis [YouTube],[NSFW]. I'm sorry for making my first post ever a single link YouTube post, but this Atlanta Public Access TV clip is the most educational video I have ever seen. Alexyss Tylor hosts a show on 'Vagina Power 'and 'Penis Power' with her mother. It's about 9 minutes of true insight - women, don't let men hit the bottom or use their penis as a weapon! Separate the love, the orgasm, and the penis, OK? Make sure he buys you the shrimp plate though!
posted by waitingtoderail on Apr 17, 2007 - 302 comments

Masturbating elephants for science

"One guy I know got a black eye from being hit by an elephant’s penis."
posted by homunculus on Mar 8, 2007 - 37 comments

...but size doesn't matter.

Penises visible from space.
posted by empath on Jan 31, 2007 - 29 comments

What's good for the goose.....

It's genital evolution day! Penis evolution. For my money, evolution reached it's zenith with the Argentine Lake Duck. Plenty more MeFi penis related shenanigans here , including the penis museum.
posted by lalochezia on Jan 23, 2007 - 31 comments

Urologist slices perfectly ok penis

Should have worked in a sushi bar. Newsoftheweirdfilter : before entering an hospital in order to have corrective surgery on your testicles, make sure your surgeon of choice isn't 1. slightly insane 2. short tempered 3.holding a scalpel (probably SFW, but may elicit a perpetual lack of trust in doctors).
posted by elpapacito on Jan 19, 2007 - 39 comments

The Penis is Bad, the Gun is Good.

The story, set in the distant future, involves a group of immortal intellectuals who lives isolated from an outside reality of unbridled savagery and brutality. No, I'm not talking about Metafilter, but Zardoz. The Penis is Bad, the Gun is Good. In the future the real threat isn’t Islamofascism or rogue Kryptonians, but bored immortals who dress like Belgians and can’t get it up. Did I mention Sean Connery in red S/M short shorts? You just can't make movies this wonderfully terrible anymore. (previously on MetaFilter, in the pre YouTube era, here)
posted by Meatbomb on Dec 5, 2006 - 61 comments


The BBC attaches cameras to the genitals of a man and woman. Sex ensues. NSFW Google video.
posted by four panels on Nov 25, 2006 - 153 comments

A truly blessed man

2 heads are better than 1 Ever heard of diphallus? Well, now you have. See here as well
posted by bmpetow on Aug 22, 2006 - 31 comments

Size Doesn't Matter... Size Doesn't Matter... Keep repeating...

I've long felt that the U.S. of A. "jumped the shark" as a country when we rejected the Metric System. The price of gasoline would still be under a dollar (per liter). Yet, we'd drive less because a short 20 mile trip would become a long 32 km trip. Then there's the most important measurement of all [maybe NSFW animated graph], providing us with the joy of 12.9(!) while we try to ignore that Japan is .1 ahead of us and France is .1 more than South Africa. (And is that Korean average North or South?)
posted by wendell on Aug 14, 2006 - 65 comments

As if you didn't already know

Rabbits eat poop. Gerbils have epilepsy. Pigs have corkscrew penises.
posted by 31d1 on Aug 5, 2006 - 22 comments

Fold carefully, grasshopper.

Kokigami: origami for Mr. Happy. (Not, not this. And not ninjas, either.) The sensuous practise of Kokigami originated from the ancient Japanese art form of giving beautifully wrapped gifts.
posted by gottabefunky on Jul 15, 2006 - 11 comments

A Tail By Any Other Name

A Tail By Any Other Name : Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert thinks it would be awfully handy to have an extra appendage. A Providence handyman sees things a little differently.
posted by grapefruitmoon on Jun 27, 2006 - 22 comments

Rate My Penis

Left wing Australian Blogger / TV writer Ms Fits receives some very interesting fan mail asking for advice. Definitely NSFW if the title didn't give that away. Ms Fits is known for her work as a writer on Neighbours, her short lived TV series Last Man Standing, her blog, and her long running arguments with right-wing columnist Andrew Bolt.
posted by jonathanstrange on May 31, 2006 - 16 comments

Men will be men

Sexual ornaments grow out of all proportion It seems that men will be men throughout the animal kindom, not just our little lonely corner of of it. Most body parts grow proportionally with the rest of the body as individuals of a species become larger, although scientists have long known that visual cues of reproductive prowess are a special case. But is this the case with everyone?
posted by pezdacanuck on May 23, 2006 - 41 comments

Scarred for life

How were you circumcised? A fascinating discussion of circumcision scar styles left by the different methods of circumcision. (NSFW, penis photos, slightly gruesome discussion of circumcision methods.)
posted by agropyron on Apr 19, 2006 - 165 comments

what a bunch of dicks

Swine penis. Swine Penis. Swine penis. Penis whine. Penis wine. [a little nsfw]
posted by jessamyn on Apr 15, 2006 - 49 comments


The penis project. (NSFW) An art project by Sue Long. "At Long's house, penises are everywhere. Cluttering the bedroom floor, standing erect on bookshelves, sticking out of potted plants, sprinkled throughout her back yard. Everywhere you turn, a penis is staring at you." (via oink)
posted by madamjujujive on Apr 13, 2006 - 67 comments

the perfect penis ?

the perfect penis? (very NSFW) guy injects silicon into his groin for several years and ... well...
posted by vronsky on Mar 29, 2006 - 115 comments

A feeling of warmth, security and self-esteem.

Ever wish you weren't circumsized? (NSFW) The SenSlip is a very flexible garment for the penis. It is available in Caucasian Pink (mid-brown and dark brown colours will be available soon). Make sure you check out the video demo. [via]
posted by If I Had An Anus on Dec 19, 2005 - 154 comments


Qigong is the ancient Chinese art of movement and breathing to increase energy, one of its grandmasters being Tu Jin-Sheng of the 99 Qigong. Qigong can be used to relieve stress and maintain good health. Or, if you're like Jin-Sheng, you can use it to tie a truck to your penis and pull it across a parking lot.
posted by XQUZYPHYR on Nov 30, 2005 - 16 comments


Salon interview with Mike Salvini of Size Matters A look into a bizarre internet subculture of men who spend hundreds of hours doing exercises to get a bigger wang. Requires premium membership or day pass.
posted by sid on Jul 8, 2005 - 32 comments

No pain, no gain.

“Thank you for your recent E-mail. I appreciate your concern. However, I am, at this time, completely satisfied with the size of my penis.” Says a Gizmodo post: Now I consider myself fairly well versed in penis lengthening—a skill introduced to me, inadvertently, by my 6th grade math teacher—but I did not realize one could become a medical doctor and specialize in the topic. They also point to a similar device mentioned in an earlier post. Ow.
posted by spock on Jun 24, 2005 - 11 comments

Black Cycling Shorts

Dear cyclists: please wear black cyling shorts. TIA.
posted by brownpau on Jun 1, 2005 - 82 comments


This ain't your grandma's DIY crafting. (most links NSFW)
posted by heatherann on Apr 29, 2005 - 30 comments

I see your schwartz is as big as mine!

Vikings with ... issues. And for complete amusement, check the google ads on the right. Big swords, baby, big, really big.
posted by Wulfgar! on Feb 25, 2005 - 14 comments

Size -- and 'Erogenous Sensation' -- Matter

Micro-penis sufferers, rejoice!
posted by digaman on Dec 7, 2004 - 50 comments

Big Dick Cheney

Overexposed: Upon closer inspection, it seems the vice president’s smile was not his biggest, ahem, asset. Is that what we think it is?
posted by dogmatic on Nov 12, 2004 - 57 comments


Jeff's Magical World of Penis-Unicorns [warning: background midi (and unicorns with penises on their heads)]
posted by mr_crash_davis on Sep 16, 2004 - 13 comments


Big Dick Lit : I guess this is not safe for work.
posted by angry modem on Sep 7, 2004 - 18 comments

The Man With the Smallest Penis in Existence and the Electron Microscope Technician Who Loved Him

The Man With the Smallest Penis in Existence and the Electron Microscope Technician Who Loved Him (flash cartoon)
posted by dydecker on Aug 27, 2004 - 11 comments


Coalition of the Willy. [via abuddha's memes]
Just as the eyes may be averted from full frontal public displays of male nudity, is it possible that the unconscious association to phallic symbols like "weapons of mass destruction" may effectively lead the eyes to be "averted", thus frustrating any search.
(NOTE: This essay isn't really 'logical,' but it's a fun ride anyway, pun intended)
posted by moonbird on Aug 7, 2004 - 8 comments


Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis...mmm'kay? NSFW, by the way--this is not your father's folk-acoustic music.
posted by Sidhedevil on Jun 30, 2004 - 19 comments

But did he scream out his own name??

Go screw yourself! One man takes up the challenge. For...um...science and the betterment of something or other.
posted by jonmc on Mar 26, 2004 - 25 comments

Ridiculous Infomercial Review

Why won't Ron Jeremy say 'penis' on the air? This and many more important questions are pondered at the Ridiculous Infomercial Review. If you click in the next 20 minutes, you'll receive Matthew Lesko's wardrobe, absolutely free!!
posted by PrinceValium on Jan 27, 2004 - 6 comments

Same old cock and bull story

Just in time for Christmas! Shop for scrotums. Get yourself a bull penis walking stick. Spoil your dog with bull penis chew treats. (Go for the 24" ones, if only for the jealousy factor)
posted by mr_crash_davis on Nov 3, 2003 - 14 comments

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