Néo Fénéon: "Three thousand seven hundred dollars richer after stealing from the job, Marvin Williams, 25, of Brooklyn, went to urinate in a playground." - Items from the NYPD blotter remixed daily in the style of Félix Fénéon. (previously)
Is the police blotter dying? Not so. In other parts of the world, the blotters are a little weird and violent. (nsfw)
How not to get children to go to sleep. In fact, when asked by police how many times he bit the children, he couldn't say for sure, adding that he "bit the s--t out of them,"
"A Spear Avenue resident reported a male-type human in his backyard performing the specialty of the breed - stumbling around and cursing. The interloper without portfolio wandered off in a random direction." This quote and more can be found in the Arcata Eye police blotter. (From Cruel.com; also mentioned in a comment in an older thread.)
Ever been caught smoking in a violent manner? This is the best slow-day-at-work reading around.