Don't do what you love.
"We rarely hear the advice of the person who did what they loved and stayed poor or was horribly injured for it. Professional gamblers, stuntmen, washed up cartoonists like myself: we don’t give speeches at corporate events. We aren’t paid to go to the World Domination Summit and make people feel bad. We don’t land book deals or speak on Good Morning America." [more inside]
posted by mecran01
on Aug 23, 2014 -
This latest article focuses on a triad raising a child in Atlanta.
CNN.com has spent more than a little time on polyamory throughout the years (unusual for a 'mainstream' publication. As usual, there's the 'poly could end up hurting the children' counter-arguments, but this is certainly a more even-handed portrayal than in a lot of other arenas, and is not particularly preachy in either direction.
posted by softlord
on Oct 27, 2013 -
Political Identification: communist
"Dear Bloody Red Heart,
I have recently started seeing a communist woman, and I really like her, but my problem is that I still have overwhelmingly strong feelings for the communist woman I had a thing with in the summer, and who has gone to fight the good fight in other lands. Should I tell the comrade I’m currently seeing about my divided affections? As we are not yet in full communism, I fear I may not have enough to go round…
From: Bloody Red Heart"
Always remember that information is power, and functions as such." [more inside]
posted by the man of twists and turns
on Apr 2, 2013 -
Right now, though, you can google “polyamory” and get a whole lot of nearly-identical polynormative hype articles, and you can meet up with locals who’ve read the same articles you just did, and you can all get together and do polynormative poly exactly the way the media told you to. And if that’s all you ever bother to do then essentially you are selling yourself short. You are trading in the monogamous norm for polynormativity, which relatively speaking isn’t all that much of a stretch, and stopping there because you may very well think that’s all there is (and you already racked up a whole bunch of cool points anyway). You aren’t encouraged to really think about this stuff without any imposed models at all, which means you never get to figure out what actually might work best for you. As such, the most fundamental element of polyamory—that of rejecting the monogamous standard, and radically rethinking how you understand, make meaning of and practice love, sex, relationships, commitment, communication, and so forth—is lost in favour of a cookie-cutter model that’s as easy as one, two, three. The deepest and most significant benefit of polyamory has become increasingly obscured by media representation, and as a result, is getting farther and farther out of reach for anyone who’s just starting out. the problem with polynormativity
, at Sex Geek
posted by davidjmcgee
on Jan 28, 2013 -
A remarkably non-sensational report on polyamorous families
. Bookended by 50 Shades of Grey
, this 20/20 "special report" on Sierra, Martin, Molly, David, Aaron, Romy, Mark, and J provides a lovely counterpoint to the usual moralizing hand-wringing one finds in media coverage of open relationships.
posted by smammy
on Dec 26, 2012 -
Husband-and-wife team Christopher Ryan and Calcilda Jethá
have written a book, Sex at Dawn
, that challenges what they describe as the "standard narrative" of human sexual and social relationships. In a recent Savage Love podcast
featuring Ryan as a guest, Dan Savage described the book as "...the single most important book about human sexuality since Alfred Kinsey unleashed Sexual Behavior in the Human Male on the American public in 1948." [more inside]
posted by kitarra
on Nov 5, 2010 -
(NSFW) would frown on the idea of Valentine's Day and devoting yourself to your one true love; they were all about fun, all the time. Think free love
as current practitioners would call it) is a product of the swingin' 70s? No way. The libertine
philosophy has been around since at least the 17th century. Notable practitioners include John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester
, who wrote some juicy poetry
on the topic; Choderlos de Laclos
of Les Liaisons dangereuses
fame; the Marquis de Sade
; the fictional Don Juan
; and the poster boy for libertinism, Charles II of England
. In fact Rochester once had to flee court for making fun
of Charles's appetites (though Rochester was no angel himself).
Fast forward to the current day, when Johnny Depp is starring in a new movie, "The Libertine
," in which he portrays Rochester to some critical acclaim. Is Rochester simply a sad, sorry sort who justified a lifestyle that some see as immoral, and got his just deserts when he died of syphilis? Or was he caught up in a way of life that he alternately enjoyed and despised, finding that
"Old age and Experience, hand in hand / Lead him to Death, and make him understand, / After a Search so painful and so long, / That all his Life he has been in the wrong."
Maybe there's something to be said for abstinence
, after all.
posted by MiHail
on Feb 14, 2005 -