239 posts tagged with relationships.
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truths about gay relationships on the road to marriage equality

Master Bedroom, Extra Closet: The Truth About Gay Marriage
"In the fight for marriage rights, gay activists have (smartly) put forward couples who embody a familiar form of unity... But not all gay unions are built on the straight model, particularly when it comes to the issue of monogamy... The gay rights movement has made a calculated decision to highlight the similarities, not the differences, between straight and gay love on the road to marriage equality."
posted by andoatnp on Jun 20, 2013 - 56 comments

Data Science of the Facebook World

Stephen Wolfram used the data provided by Facebook users to do some demographic analysis.
posted by reenum on May 6, 2013 - 7 comments

When your abuser or estranged relative dies

When your abuser or estranged relative dies - funerals, obituaries, & condolences. This is a practical, thoughtful and informative website created by two Christian women who are knowledgeable about dealing with pathological narcissists and sociopaths within a family context, in particular the topic of "Silent Partners". [more inside]
posted by nickyskye on May 4, 2013 - 29 comments

Queer African American Women and the History of Marriage

"Two women, Edna Knowles and Peaches Stevens, were wed in Liz's Mark III Lounge, a gay bar on Chicago's South Side, before a host of friends and well-wishers."--JET Magazine, October 1970 The Pop-Up Museum of Queer History offers a terrific post on the public rituals queer African American women have used to celebrate their partnerships since the 1920s.
posted by liketitanic on Mar 27, 2013 - 7 comments

Dear Valentine, I Hate It When You...

Save your marriage... with a writing workshop. Link to paper: (PDF)
posted by AceRock on Feb 13, 2013 - 3 comments

The Ben Franklin Effect; both not, and totally Rule 34 applicable.

The entertaining youtube channel Vsauce takes an interesting look at The Science of the Friend Zone. [via]
posted by quin on Feb 13, 2013 - 27 comments

Love 2.0

There is no such thing as Everlasting Love. Apparently all we have are "micro-moments of positivity resonance." Deflating the Love Myth, just in time for Valentines Day? [more inside]
posted by cross_impact on Feb 12, 2013 - 52 comments

"Don't you see? If no one were watching, I would not dance at all."

The Old Man at Burning Man. "When I mentioned to friends that I was going to Burning Man with my 69-year-old father, 'Good idea' were the words out of no one's mouth."
posted by zarq on Feb 9, 2013 - 65 comments

Intent counts here.

Right now, though, you can google “polyamory” and get a whole lot of nearly-identical polynormative hype articles, and you can meet up with locals who’ve read the same articles you just did, and you can all get together and do polynormative poly exactly the way the media told you to. And if that’s all you ever bother to do then essentially you are selling yourself short. You are trading in the monogamous norm for polynormativity, which relatively speaking isn’t all that much of a stretch, and stopping there because you may very well think that’s all there is (and you already racked up a whole bunch of cool points anyway). You aren’t encouraged to really think about this stuff without any imposed models at all, which means you never get to figure out what actually might work best for you. As such, the most fundamental element of polyamory—that of rejecting the monogamous standard, and radically rethinking how you understand, make meaning of and practice love, sex, relationships, commitment, communication, and so forth—is lost in favour of a cookie-cutter model that’s as easy as one, two, three. The deepest and most significant benefit of polyamory has become increasingly obscured by media representation, and as a result, is getting farther and farther out of reach for anyone who’s just starting out.
the problem with polynormativity, at Sex Geek
posted by davidjmcgee on Jan 28, 2013 - 221 comments

It's a Samoan Thing. You Wouldn't Understand.

Ilana Gershon is a professor currently researching how people use the Internet to break up with their romantic partners, but before that she wrote an anthropological study about "strategic ignorance" in Samoan immigrant communities, all of which is just a complicated way of showing that she's the most unusually qualified person on the Internet to comment on the Manti Te'o hoax. (previously)
posted by jonp72 on Jan 23, 2013 - 51 comments

Sex and surveys

"Men across all cultures reported higher sex drives and less restricted sexual attitudes than women, but women were consistently more variable than men in their sex drives. Another important, if not entirely surprising pattern, suggests that these differences are not entirely biological, and are due in some part to social and cultural ideologies." An io9 article looks at the results from a number of sex surveys.
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Jan 21, 2013 - 92 comments

How I Fell in Love with a Schizophrenic

Kas Thomas writes about his "all-in" relationship with Sally, a woman diagnosed with schizophrenia. Yesterday, my true love, Sally, had a psychotic break and went into the (mental) hospital, where she'll probably be for the next two weeks. Today, I'm writing as a means of therapy. Therapy for me. I knew going into this relationship that it would entail ups and downs, and hard work... [more inside]
posted by winecork on Jan 1, 2013 - 86 comments

Old Hansa

Networks of the Hanseatic League - The Hanseatic League was a late-medieval network of economically largely independent long-distance trade merchants which was based on trust, reputation and reciprocal relations. The informal cooperation among its members kept transactional, informational and organizational costs low, allowing the Hanse merchants to make good profits from the long-distance trade between the Baltic and the North Seas. Thanks to personal and institutional links with confederations of towns, the Hanse merchants were initially able to strengthen their international position of power. Since the late 15th century, however, the transaction costs of long-distance trade increased as a result of growing exclusivity and formalization efforts in the Hanseatic league. Moreover, changes in the European economic structure, triggered by the discovery of America, and internal conflicts ultimately led to the disintegration of the Hanseatic networks.
posted by infini on Dec 29, 2012 - 14 comments

“I have a tremendous amount of love and support in my life”

A remarkably non-sensational report on polyamorous families. Bookended by 50 Shades of Grey and Gigolos, this 20/20 "special report" on Sierra, Martin, Molly, David, Aaron, Romy, Mark, and J provides a lovely counterpoint to the usual moralizing hand-wringing one finds in media coverage of open relationships.
posted by smammy on Dec 26, 2012 - 14 comments

webs woven

The master map of all game companies and their connections
posted by infini on Dec 19, 2012 - 28 comments

"challenging Casanova"

Guys don't want casual sex: "This stereotype 'tells us that guys are primarily interested in sex, not relationships... This contributes to the notion that guys are emotional clods who are incapable of connecting with their partners because, hey, they’re just guys, and guys are only interested in sex.'... the Wake Forest University professor lays out the current data on young men’s sexual desires and behavior to make a case against this insidious stereotype." Salon interviews Andrew Smiler, author of Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male. [more inside]
posted by flex on Nov 19, 2012 - 122 comments

I will do everything in my power to help him through the transition process

"We discussed the danger of partisan division, and the need for us, all of us, to come together and find common ground after a very rough and divisive couple of weeks. ... It is no secret that Brad and I had two very different visions for you and whom you date. Tonight, you have spoken, and Brad has prevailed." --- The American People Have Spoken About Our Relationship
posted by New Frontier on Nov 7, 2012 - 19 comments

Like a vagina booger!

It happens after you've ran out of things to talk about with your partner, after you get your sh*t together and have talked about plans for a family. It is time to get engaged, send out the invitations, and start planning the wedding. NSFW audio
posted by Brent Parker on Nov 6, 2012 - 24 comments

the intersection of social media and sharing political opinions

I Want To Talk About Politics On Facebook vs. Get Out Of My Facebook, Politics: two arguments for and against using social media to share political opinions (presented on Thought Catalog) [more inside]
posted by flex on Oct 3, 2012 - 78 comments

A story about a peculiar method

Adelaide is a short movie about a woman who seeks attention in a very particular way.
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Sep 28, 2012 - 21 comments

Take that, Caitlin Flanagan

Focusing on career -- how hookup culture empowers women
posted by msalt on Sep 9, 2012 - 51 comments

Excuse me, what time is it? I want to be able to remember the exact moment I posted this.

How to pick a successful pickup line (in two graphs)
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Aug 17, 2012 - 81 comments

Life is a book that we study; some of its leaves bring a sigh

In my unending search for just the right vintage images for our articles, I have looked through thousands of photographs of men from the last century or so. One of the things that I have found most fascinating about many of these images, is the ease, familiarity, and intimacy, which men used to exhibit in photographs with their friends and compadres. Male Affection: A Photographic History Tour
posted by byanyothername on Aug 13, 2012 - 41 comments

I'm With The Band

How I fell in love with a computer nerd and ended up marrying a rock star
posted by bwilms on Jul 24, 2012 - 75 comments

The Score on Scoring

There is a dating guide for Stanford University (PDF file), and it includes a foreword by Philip Zimbardo.
posted by reenum on Jun 24, 2012 - 42 comments

Oh no you did NOT post that picture to Facebook!!!

"Relationships are hard enough. But the rise of social media — where sharing private moments is encouraged, and provocative and confessional postings can help build a following — has created a new source of friction for couples: what is fair game for sharing with the world?" (NYT)
posted by ThePinkSuperhero on Apr 26, 2012 - 51 comments

The pills are $2,000 every month. The doctor visits never end. And there's always the possibility the virus could spread. Otherwise, it's not so different.

Odd Blood: Serodiscordancy, or Life with an HIV-Positive Partner
posted by liketitanic on Mar 29, 2012 - 7 comments

The Sugar Daddy Recession

The bad economy has forced some women into arrangements with less than ideal men.
posted by reenum on Mar 13, 2012 - 54 comments

Marriage is a luxury good

Marriage is a luxury good [NYT] After steadily rising for five decades, the share of children born to unmarried women has crossed a threshold: more than half of births to American women under 30 occur outside marriage. [more inside]
posted by modernnomad on Feb 18, 2012 - 66 comments

"We've agreed this is casual sex, so as long as we decide not to develop feelings, we won't."

The Geek Social Fallacies of Sex. (Probably SFW in itself, depending on your W - no naughty images - but links out may go to NSFW content) Holly Pervocracy (previously), a feminist sex blogger, revisits Michael Suileabhain-Wilson's classic but contentious Geek Social Fallacies (previously).
posted by running order squabble fest on Feb 10, 2012 - 74 comments

An eBay for the broken-hearted

Never liked it anyway: A website to get rid of unwanted/left-over gifts from bad relationships. There are tales, and tips on moving on.
posted by vidur on Jan 29, 2012 - 41 comments

Caroline Knapp's "Drinking: A Love Story"

Drinking: A Love Story, Chapter Six: Sex - by Caroline Knapp
posted by Trurl on Jan 26, 2012 - 36 comments

Burning bodices

The first sexual revolution: lust and liberty in the 18th century
posted by Artw on Jan 21, 2012 - 17 comments

You just don’t know you know them...

Why do most people assume that all nonmonogamous relationships are destined to fail? Because we only hear about the ones that do. If a three-way or an affair was a factor in a divorce or breakup, we hear all about it. But we rarely hear from happy couples who aren’t monogamous, because they don’t want to be perceived as dangerous sex maniacs who are destined to divorce. Monogamish Couples Share Their Stories.
posted by sour cream on Jan 6, 2012 - 122 comments

The universe, Carl Sagan, a golden record, chance and love

Click the photo at the top of the linked page to view The Voyagers, a rumination on the universe, love, a golden record and two small space probes.
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Dec 26, 2011 - 4 comments

Inside The Collapse

The Boston Globe's Bob Hohler gets to the bottom of the Red Sox's epic collapse: Inside are tales of alienated potential MVP candidates, pitchers playing video games and eating take out chicken and biscuits instead of being in the dugout, and older players chasing statistical glory.
posted by reenum on Oct 12, 2011 - 61 comments

A Message To Women From A Man: You Are Not "Crazy"

A Message To Women From A Man: You Are Not "Crazy"
posted by SkylitDrawl on Sep 14, 2011 - 247 comments

It's never fun being the third person when the other two are a couple.

The Third Wheel. Australian photographer Jackson Eaton offers a series of photographs about the awkwardness of being the third person that alternate between hilarious and creepy. (Via)
posted by Bunny Ultramod on Aug 26, 2011 - 37 comments

Hello, my name is Tara and I scream my own name during sex

From 1999 to 2003, the largely-female UK comedy trope Smack The Pony had a series of short skits based on video dating ads. Youtube user myLastTears has edited them together into a supercut: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 [more inside]
posted by The Whelk on Aug 21, 2011 - 18 comments

Angry Jane Doe

Angry Jane Doe: "I have started to sleep around. I sleep with men I am not dating. I sleep with men and refuse to date them, actually. I come to their houses, fuck them, say thank you for a nice time, and don't let the door hit me on the ass on the way out. You might think this is a pretty good deal, but it is not. Because I fuck and tell. Because I'm pissed." (NSFW.) [more inside]
posted by velvet winter on Jul 27, 2011 - 339 comments

There's a little quantum mechanics involved.

An easy way to have sex without having to communicate. The Forty Beads method, invented by sex therapist Carolyn Evans, relies on tokens that allow a husband to give his wife a bead (by putting it in her "beadcatcher") when he's "in the mood," with a 24-hour deadline for "redemption." (Evans also says the roles can be reversed for those low-libido husbands/high-libido wives).
posted by emjaybee on Jun 5, 2011 - 257 comments

Strangers, Again

Strangers, Again, a short film by Wong Fu Productions, takes viewers on an introspective journey through the stages of a romantic relationship. (Previous Wong Fu Production films on Metafilter)
posted by SkylitDrawl on Apr 26, 2011 - 2 comments

Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define

Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define is the winner of a 2008 New York Times essay competition asking college students to write about what love is like for them. The competition runs again this year.
posted by shivohum on Apr 14, 2011 - 70 comments

A More Perfect Union

In his project A More Perfect Union, artist R. Luke Dubois aggregated language used in the profiles of 19 million single Americans on 21 dating sites. He then organized the data to create "dozens of insanely detailed city and state maps which tell a wonderfully rich story about who we are, or at least, who we claim to be." A Video about the project. (R. Luke Dubois, previously on MeFi.)
posted by zarq on Mar 31, 2011 - 15 comments

Relationships with Animals

Robin Schwartz has photographs in The Metropolitan Museum of Art and Museum of Modern Art, and The National Museum of Art among many other institutions. She depicts our relationships with animals as exhibited by her galleries: Primate Portraits, demonstrating the animals' unique personalities, The Presence of Animals in People's Lives in Rural Mexico, Amelie's World: Animal Affinity, drawn from real journeys taken with her daughter. See also Amelie's World: Dreams and Amelie's World: Imaginary Tales. [more inside]
posted by netbros on Mar 4, 2011 - 2 comments

Things were wonderful once

1. Tin Huey T-Shirt. 2. A silk-screened poster from the Sept. 22, 2000, Mary Timony (of Helium) concert in Oberlin, Ohio. 3. "Crazy Rhythms" by the Feelies (on white vinyl). 4. A big-ass dining room table. 5. The Futon. 6. One audio MiniDisc of the Black Keys' first live performance, July 2002. 7. 7. One black-and-white photo of Patrick and me, taken in 2003, at Apple Studios. A marriage, and divorce, in seven mementos.
posted by Horace Rumpole on Mar 3, 2011 - 28 comments

And the battle of the sexes continues...

Sex Is Cheap: Why young men have the upper hand in bed, even when they're failing in life. Remember this thread from last weekend? Here is another interesting take on the dynamics of modern heterosexual relationships.
posted by fernabelle on Feb 25, 2011 - 138 comments

Pandering to Philanderers

Cheating, Incorporated: The Infidelity Economy. "Looking to sneak around on your spouse? Got a little cash to spend? The CEO of Ashley Madison, a website whose own backers don't even want to be associated with, is happy to take your money." (Previously on MeFi) [more inside]
posted by zarq on Feb 11, 2011 - 69 comments

Poems From My Ex

Fifteen years after we broke up, my ex-boyfriend published a book of poetry. ... For months, the slim book sat on my shelf like an awkward houseguest. Then, one quiet night, something nudged me out of my inertia, or dread, and I settled into bed with his book. And there I was.
posted by Joe Beese on Feb 10, 2011 - 41 comments

The Best Questions For A First Date

The Best Questions For A First Date. What questions are easy to bring up, yet correlate to the deeper, unspeakable, issues people actually care about?
posted by Tom-B on Feb 9, 2011 - 106 comments

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