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The Shame of Memory

When I first saw it, my jaw hit the floor. After years of thinking I would suffer alone with the memory, I found others who knew. Along the way, I discovered other gems... even though my personal tastes were more epic. When she asked why I loved them so much, I replied, "Because they are so ambitious. They try so hard".
posted by squidfartz on Sep 22, 2006 - 23 comments

Yes yes yes yes yes!

Zanta: The Movie. If you live or work in downtown Toronto, you've seen him. Shirtless, wearing a Santa hat, and most likely doing pushups, he's David "Zanta" Zancai, and one of the city's most enigmatic characters.
posted by Robot Johnny on May 19, 2006 - 38 comments

Barley for Harley

Mr. Gonopolis and his 12 Holsteins. It’s December 24th and Santa gets the measles. Mr. Gonopolis, a bumbling dairy farmer from Minnesota and member of the Emergency Substitute Santa Claus Corps, gets the call and hitches up his 12 Holstein cows. Following a custom of naming cows after people he admires, for the 20th anniversary edition of his children’s book Uncle Hyggly renamed one of the cows “Oprah” and got into some hot water. Even so, this book is a welcome alternative to other cow temptation (NSF Farmers).
posted by luckypozzo on Dec 28, 2005 - 15 comments

Government assisted myth perpetuation

Of course santa is real, even NORAD tracks him. With large corporate sponsors and a long list of b-class celebrities (except for Mickey Rooney), how could any child doubt that santa exists. How can mass societal lies be any good for children? Does it teach them that everyone lies and is it the reason that most adults do?
posted by Mr_Zero on Dec 25, 2005 - 142 comments

Satanic Santas!

Putting the Satan into Santa - Mad Santas go on a rampage in New Zealand, last year it was here in Wales - but the Satanic truth is much more shocking... However, that depends which version you want to believe
posted by Dio on Dec 18, 2005 - 14 comments

The Real Story of Christmas

The Real Story of Christmas ...Many who are excitedly preparing for their Christmas celebrations would prefer not knowing about the holiday’s real significance. If they do know the history, they often object that their celebration has nothing to do with the holiday’s monstrous history and meaning. “We are just having fun.”
posted by NorthernSky on Dec 17, 2005 - 68 comments

Yes, Metafilter, there IS a Santa Claus

T.E.R.D. Tangible Evidence. Real Discoveries. Dr. Lloyd Darrow may have proof that something - or someone - really exists.
posted by mr_crash_davis on Dec 25, 2004 - 8 comments

Haughy-lujah!

Santa Santa Santa Santa It's Friday, it's Flash, it's Christmas Eve, so....
posted by SPrintF on Dec 24, 2004 - 17 comments

Santa!

Watch the sky! He's coming soon! With fighter escort!
posted by arse_hat on Dec 23, 2004 - 15 comments

Welcome to Dumf**kistan

Santa Saves Time and Money by simply skipping over the Blue States. SNL still somehow relevant. TV Funhouse still on the good side of that damn shark.
posted by wah on Dec 22, 2004 - 26 comments

Scared of Santa

Ho Ho Waaaahhhh!! A lot of kids don't like standing in long lines. A lot of kids don't like strangers (especially ones with big fake beards who are laughing dementedly). A lot of kids don't like having their pictures taken. Put them all together, and you've got the nightmare of the Kid's Photo With Santa, some unfortunate results of which are immortalized in the Scared Of Santa Photo Gallery. (Link is to #2, which is my favorite.)
posted by Kat Allison on Dec 18, 2004 - 56 comments

Bah and the Humbugs!

No Xmas in U.S. this year: Santa on Fed's "No Fly" list.
Okay, that's just "News" from the website of satiric rockers Bah and the Humbugs, skewering Xmas since 1985. MP3s of the entirety of this year's CD Farhenheit 12/25 are available on the website, or you can buy the CD for $10 and all ten sheckles go to the UN World Food Programme. More tracks here, including the "Jolly Roger the Xmas Pirate" series and "Free the Reindeer. " Great stuff for that awkward holiday family get-together, where the music won't offend but the cool lyrics can keep you chuckling to yourself all night.
posted by Shane on Dec 17, 2004 - 4 comments

When Santas go bad

When Santas Go Bad. Apparently, they brawl.
posted by dismitree on Dec 9, 2004 - 10 comments

Have you moshed enough this year?

Santa, apparantly, brings the mosh like noone else.
posted by dflemingdotorg on Dec 8, 2004 - 16 comments

When Santas Attack!

Santas Gone Wild Imagine a flashmob. Now imagine a flashmob that is nothing but Santas. Once a year, for 10 years now, a bunch of crazies dress up like Santa Claus, frolic around major cities (like NYC, good text summary of what SantaCon is all about to be found here) and cause merry mischief.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero on Dec 7, 2004 - 20 comments

Santa! FUCK YEAH!

From the Holly-Jolly uber-conservatives at Human Events comes a patriotic selection of Christmas ornaments, including George W. Bush (with extra sparkle!) and what appears to be the Team America Santa.
posted by XQUZYPHYR on Nov 29, 2004 - 21 comments

Sex, Ukeleles, Gadgets...and more!

Have a merry, sex and gadget filled hyper-commercialized Japanese Christmas. "Well it all started when a Spanish Jesuit missionary named St. Francis Xavier brought Christmas to Japan in 1549...." The Jesuit bid to Christianize Japan was a flop though, and now - while Jews in the West, for example, tend to go out for Chinese food on Christmas Eve, the Japanese had little connection to the Christian version - so they invented their own! Syncretistic Japan pulls in random elements of Western "Christmas" and recombines in pleasing new ways! ( shocking only to Christians ). Santa Claus on the Cross and more!

A proper Christmas in Japan - for singles - involves a hot date and visit to a "Love Hotel" where "you might be directed by scantily-clad female elves to rooms complete with Christmas trees and life-size reindeer watching the proceedings with interest." and "Grope Free Commutes", for Japanese women tired of having their asses grabbed on the subway by drunk salarymen returning from "Forget the Year" parties. This fine blog chronicles it all: " the Dolphin-and-fish-surrounded Christmas tree", Ukelele Christmas parties - "I wandered into a score of middle aged Japanese ladies wearing Hawaiian shirts and plastic lays, tuning up their ukuleles" and more. And don't forget to buy some cool new gadgets. "...a tiny robot helicopter weighing less than 9 grams... "
posted by troutfishing on Dec 25, 2003 - 19 comments

Liquid Mouse Christ

Santa is trapped in a usb mouse.
posted by srboisvert on Dec 23, 2003 - 8 comments

Santa Claus, super shaman

Psychedelic Santa Claus. "Modern Christmas traditions are based on ancient mushroom-using shamans." [Via J-Walk blog.]
posted by homunculus on Dec 22, 2003 - 15 comments

Pink Slip Stocking Stuffer

Santa lays off elves "Something will definitely be missing this Christmas." said Milja Vilmila, who was told her job as an elf helping Santa no longer existed.
posted by drezdn on Dec 20, 2003 - 6 comments

Weihnachtsmann!

Catapult Santa. (flash, via the ultimate insult)
posted by Ufez Jones on Dec 19, 2003 - 1 comment

Can you FLY Santa??

Santa and the X-Games. Help two poor elves sling Santa Claus all the way to Mordor.
posted by bargle on Dec 13, 2003 - 12 comments

Sober Santa

Sober Santa. Too much politics today, not enough Christmas fun. Here's a drunk Santa game from b3ta. Pretty tough once you get going.
posted by Stan Chin on Dec 12, 2003 - 12 comments

Let's not let Rudolph play in any of our reindeer games!

Did anyone catch Rudolph last night? (more inside)
posted by jpburns on Dec 10, 2003 - 19 comments

Ugly and not so ugly money

Ugly money : burnt bills, Santa singles, good time greenbacks, bodacious bum bucks and then some. On a related but cool note, conceptual currency.
posted by pedantic on Jul 6, 2003 - 7 comments

Santa brought me cookies for Christmas. I did not eat them. I sold them on eBay.

Santa brought me cookies for Christmas. I did not eat them. I sold them on eBay. Much like the Amazon reviews that were an artform to themselves, someone goes a little crazy with the ebay reviews.
posted by Salmonberry on May 9, 2003 - 20 comments

he's coming! look out!

The world's most wanted man has embarked on his annual breaking-and-entering spree! Stop him before he reaches your house, using the power of NORAD. Track him as he wends his way around the world...(see! Missile-defense technology IS good for something!)
posted by amberglow on Dec 24, 2002 - 14 comments

Twas the parody before Xmas

Twas the night before Xmas and all through the net,
The geeks would be googling the ascii character set;
Metafilter refreshed on their PCs with care,
In the hopes that their FPP soon would be there;

Then up in the blue there arose such a clatter,
Mathowie sprang up to see what's the matter;
When, what to my wondering eyes there should be,
The canonical list of "Twas" parodies.
posted by Wet Spot on Dec 22, 2002 - 11 comments

Santa Lives on the South Pole....of Mars?

Santa found living on the South Pole....of Mars!?! Mysterious tracks that look like 250-mile long ski or sled trails have been found near the South Pole of Mars. Researchers at the University of Colorado have found the broad, sweeping lines cutting through a section of the southern ice caps of the frigid planet, but haven't a clue what caused them. via the excellent laputan logic
posted by Ufez Jones on Dec 17, 2002 - 7 comments

Santa is REAL!

Yes, Boston, there really is a Santa Claus. After a spate of posts lately, a Boston-area graffiti tagger reassures the city of the jolly old elf's existence. The Phoenix wonders why.
posted by pxe2000 on Dec 16, 2002 - 19 comments

Santa needs some sophisticated adult entertainment!

Santa Rampage! Last weekend a horde of Santa's wreaked havoc on Washington DC's clubs, bars and adult establishments. Amazingly only one santa was decked in the entire evening.
posted by cpfeifer on Dec 14, 2002 - 20 comments

substitute ruins Christmas for kindergartners

"No, Virginia Hayley, there isn't a Santa Claus" A substitute teacher in Florida was reading aloud to her class of Kindergartners when the subject unexpectedly turned to the existence of Santa Claus. Rather than perpetuate a myth, "Mrs. P" chose to come clean with the gathered five year olds, and explained that there was no Santa, and that all presents "come from mom and dad." Well, next thing you know, kids are crying, parents are protesting, and the teacher feels awful. In an effort to "make up for the teacher's lapse," the school district decides to send in a "Santa" to visit the class in order to "set the record straight": "Today's visiting Santa, with a natural, full white beard, should convince even a classroom full of skeptics, said district spokesman Englehart. 'He's the real deal.'" Great! Well, except for the fact that he's not. (via obscurestore)
posted by pardonyou? on Dec 13, 2002 - 123 comments

Santa Lives

Santa Claus, elusive jolly old elf, has finally been located by someone curious enough (in both senses of the word) to use FedEx to track him down. (The page I linked to here only tells half the story; click that link down on the left to get FedEx's tracking page.)
posted by wanderingmind on Dec 6, 2002 - 20 comments

Magic 8 Ball Santa

Magic 8 Ball Santa Witness the jiggling fat man! This couldn't wait for a Friday humor post. I've asked questions like: Will that cute brunette ever return my call? Will the Cincinnati Bengals go undefeated next year? Oh those lonely times at work...Huzzah!
posted by lheiskell on Dec 5, 2002 - 18 comments

Drunk Santa

Sober Santa. Too much politics today, not enough Christmas fun. Here's a drunk Santa game from b3ta. Pretty tough once you get going.
posted by Stan Chin on Dec 3, 2002 - 14 comments

Secret Santa

Secret Santa. Previously mentioned here, a year ago. "Got your own Web site? Got an Amazon wishlist? If the answer to both of these is yes, and you like the idea of giving and receiving, you should definitely sign up." Well, it's that time of year again.
posted by crunchland on Nov 15, 2002 - 14 comments

Santa cleared for interstate flight.

Santa cleared for interstate flight. The DOT has approved Santa's request for Christmas Eve air travel in the U.S. I find it interesting that, this year, "Santa also says that he has a sky marshal of sorts aboard."
posted by mr_crash_davis on Dec 23, 2001 - 22 comments

Project SANTA

Project SANTA This game wasted a good two hours at work yesterday. It's a flash game, but with 70's gaming appeal. I played it so much I finally found the easter egg, supposedly the site of its "creator." It's on level three, click the moon. A Christmas game with an Easter egg, I dunno.
posted by lheiskell on Dec 15, 2001 - 2 comments

Santarchy!

Santarchy!
posted by plinth on Dec 12, 2001 - 12 comments

It's a good thing Santa was endorsing Sprint.

It's a good thing Santa was endorsing Sprint. Then the kiddies would have to sit on the lap of that Joe Friday clone they have shilling for them. What I don't get is the outrage of the parents. You mean they hadn't noticed that Xmas has become a tad commercial? Do they really think that five year olds and under really notice the cell phone logo?
posted by MAYORBOB on Dec 7, 2001 - 10 comments

"Listen up: God isn't Santa"

"Listen up: God isn't Santa" says a retired bishop of the U.S. Episcopal Church. The basis of prayer has always seemed like a paradox to me. I'm glad to see that John Shelby Spong agrees.
posted by UrbanFigaro on Oct 13, 2001 - 54 comments

Okay, so I am a little biased against the Democratic Underground.

Okay, so I am a little biased against the Democratic Underground. Occasionally I may even laugh at some of their insults of dubya. I am sure this page was placed on their website early in the day of the attack without thinking. Maybe I am being just a little too sensitive about the tragedy, but I really think they should at LEAST change the date of this letter to santa.
posted by Oxydude on Sep 17, 2001 - 5 comments

Kansas City's Secret Santa

Kansas City's Secret Santa has been handing out cash in hundred-dollar bills to needy individuals and random people during the Christmas season for the past twenty-one years. He's completely anonymous, preferring to give joy without getting any credit. He tries to find people with specific needs and surprises them in their homes or at their jobs with the cash they need. He gives out well over ten thousand dollars every year.
posted by daveadams on Dec 22, 2000 - 11 comments

"There is no Father Christmas."

"There is no Father Christmas." What?!
posted by 120degrees on Dec 15, 2000 - 8 comments

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