Ho Ho Waaaahhhh!!
A lot of kids don't like standing in long lines. A lot of kids don't like strangers (especially ones with big fake beards who are laughing dementedly). A lot of kids don't like having their pictures taken. Put them all together, and you've got the nightmare of the Kid's Photo With Santa, some unfortunate results of which are immortalized in the Scared Of Santa Photo Gallery. (Link is to #2, which is my favorite.)
posted by Kat Allison
on Dec 18, 2004 -
No Xmas in U.S. this year: Santa on Fed's "No Fly" list.
Okay, that's just "News
" from the website of satiric rockers Bah and the Humbugs
, skewering Xmas since 1985. MP3s of the entirety of this year's CD Farhenheit 12/25
are available on the website
, or you can buy the CD for $10 and all ten sheckles go to the UN World Food Programme
. More tracks here
, including the "Jolly Roger the Xmas Pirate" series and "Free the Reindeer. " Great stuff for that awkward holiday family get-together, where the music won't offend but the cool lyrics
can keep you chuckling to yourself all night.
posted by Shane
on Dec 17, 2004 -
Santas Gone Wild
Imagine a flashmob. Now imagine a flashmob that is nothing but Santas.
Once a year, for 10 years now, a bunch of crazies dress up like Santa Claus, frolic around major cities (like NYC
, good text summary of what SantaCon is all about to be found here) and cause merry mischief.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero
on Dec 7, 2004 -
Have a merry, sex and gadget filled hyper-commercialized Japanese Christmas. "Well it all started when a Spanish Jesuit missionary named St. Francis Xavier brought Christmas to Japan in 1549...."
The Jesuit bid
Japan was a flop though, and now - while Jews in the West, for example, tend to go out for Chinese food on Christmas Eve, the Japanese had little connection to the Christian version - so they invented their own! Syncretistic Japan pulls in random elements of Western "Christmas" and recombines in pleasing new ways! ( shocking only to Christians ). Santa Claus on the Cross and more!
A proper Christmas in Japan - for singles - involves a hot date and visit to a "Love Hotel" where "you might be directed by scantily-clad female elves to rooms complete with Christmas trees and life-size reindeer watching the proceedings with interest.
" and "Grope Free Commutes"
, for Japanese women tired of having their asses grabbed on the subway by drunk salarymen returning from "Forget the Year" parties. This fine blog
chronicles it all: " the Dolphin-and-fish-surrounded Christmas tree", Ukelele Christmas parties - "I wandered into a score of middle aged Japanese ladies wearing Hawaiian shirts and plastic lays, tuning up their ukuleles" and more. And don't forget to buy some cool
. "...a tiny robot helicopter weighing less than 9 grams... "
posted by troutfishing
on Dec 25, 2003 -
Santa lays off elves "Something will definitely be missing this Christmas." said Milja Vilmila, who was told her job as an elf helping Santa no longer existed.
posted by drezdn
on Dec 20, 2003 -
Too much politics today, not enough Christmas fun. Here's a drunk Santa game from b3ta. Pretty tough once you get going.
posted by Stan Chin
on Dec 12, 2003 -
The world's most wanted man
has embarked on his annual breaking-and-entering spree! Stop him before he reaches your house, using the power of NORAD. Track him as he wends his way around the world...(see! Missile-defense technology IS good for something!)
posted by amberglow
on Dec 24, 2002 -
Twas the night before Xmas and all through the net,
The geeks would be googling the ascii character set;
Metafilter refreshed on their PCs with care,
In the hopes that their FPP soon would be there;
Then up in the blue there arose such a clatter,
Mathowie sprang up to see what's the matter;
When, what to my wondering eyes there should be,
The canonical list of "Twas" parodies.
posted by Wet Spot
on Dec 22, 2002 -
Santa found living on the South Pole....of Mars!?! Mysterious tracks that look like 250-mile long ski or sled trails have been found near the South Pole of Mars.
Researchers at the University of Colorado have found the broad, sweeping lines cutting through a section of the southern ice caps of the frigid planet, but haven't a clue what caused them. via the excellent laputan logic
posted by Ufez Jones
on Dec 17, 2002 -
Last weekend a horde of Santa's wreaked havoc on Washington DC's clubs, bars and adult establishments. Amazingly only one santa was decked in the entire evening.
posted by cpfeifer
on Dec 14, 2002 -
Virginia Hayley, there isn't a Santa Claus"
A substitute teacher in Florida was reading aloud to her class of Kindergartners when the subject unexpectedly turned to the existence of Santa Claus. Rather than perpetuate a myth, "Mrs. P" chose to come clean with the gathered five year olds, and explained that there was no Santa, and that all presents "come from mom and dad." Well, next thing you know, kids are crying, parents are protesting, and the teacher feels awful. In an effort to "make up for the teacher's lapse," the school district decides to send in a "Santa" to visit the class in order to "set the record straight": "Today's visiting Santa, with a natural, full white beard, should convince even a classroom full of skeptics, said district spokesman Englehart. 'He's the real deal.'"
Great! Well, except for the fact that he's not. (via obscurestore)
posted by pardonyou?
on Dec 13, 2002 -
elusive jolly old elf, has finally been located by someone curious enough (in both senses of the word) to use FedEx to track him down. (The page I linked to here only tells half the story; click that link down on the left to get FedEx's tracking page.)
posted by wanderingmind
on Dec 6, 2002 -
Magic 8 Ball Santa
Witness the jiggling fat man! This couldn't wait for a Friday humor post. I've asked questions like:
Will that cute brunette ever return my call? Will the Cincinnati Bengals go undefeated next year? Oh those lonely times at work...Huzzah!
posted by lheiskell
on Dec 5, 2002 -
. Too much politics today, not enough Christmas fun. Here's a drunk Santa game from b3ta. Pretty tough once you get going.
posted by Stan Chin
on Dec 3, 2002 -
Previously mentioned here
, a year ago. "Got your own Web site? Got an Amazon wishlist? If the answer to both of these is yes, and you like the idea of giving and receiving, you should definitely sign up."
Well, it's that time of year again.
posted by crunchland
on Nov 15, 2002 -
This game wasted a good two hours at work yesterday. It's a flash game, but with 70's gaming appeal.
I played it so much I finally found the easter egg
, supposedly the site of its "creator." It's on level three, click the moon. A Christmas
game with an Easter egg
, I dunno.
posted by lheiskell
on Dec 15, 2001 -
It's a good thing Santa was endorsing Sprint.
Then the kiddies would have to sit on the lap of that Joe Friday clone they have shilling for them. What I don't get is the outrage of the parents. You mean they hadn't noticed that Xmas has become a tad commercial? Do they really think that five year olds and under really notice the cell phone logo?
posted by MAYORBOB
on Dec 7, 2001 -
Okay, so I am a little biased against the Democratic Underground.
Occasionally I may even laugh at some of their insults of dubya. I am sure this page was placed on their website early in the day of the attack without thinking. Maybe I am being just a little too sensitive about the tragedy, but I really think they should at LEAST change the date of this letter to santa.
posted by Oxydude
on Sep 17, 2001 -
Kansas City's Secret Santa
has been handing out cash in hundred-dollar bills to needy individuals and random people during the Christmas season for the past twenty-one years
. He's completely anonymous, preferring to give joy without getting any credit. He tries to find people with specific needs and surprises them in their homes or at their jobs with the cash they need. He gives out well over ten thousand dollars every year.
posted by daveadams
on Dec 22, 2000 -