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17 Lies We Need to Stop Teaching Girls About Sex

Whether it's the constant fretting over Miley Cyrus' influence on school girls or the growing (and troubling) tradition of Purity Balls, it's clear that society has a fascination with young women's sexuality — especially when it comes to controlling it. But what are we actually teaching today's girls about sex? Fueled by outdated ideals of gender roles and the sense that female sexuality is somehow shameful, there seem to be certain pernicious myths about girls and sex that just won't die. That sex education in America has gaping holes in its curriculum hasn't helped much, either; in a recent Centers for Disease Control (CDC) report just 6 out of 10 girls said that their schools' sex ed program included information on how to say no to sex. This lack of personal agency was reflected in a forthcoming study by sociologist Heather Hlavka at Marquette University as well, which found that many young girls think of sex simply as something that is "done to them." Knowledge is power, and we can promote a healthier relationship with sex by encouraging a more open dialogue, teaching girls to feel comfortable with their sexuality and, most importantly, emphasizing that their bodies are theirs and theirs alone.
But first, we're going to need to stop perpetuating the following 17 myths about female sexuality.
[more inside]
posted by Blasdelb on Apr 28, 2014 - 120 comments

"'I don’t want to' is a perfectly good reason for saying No."

"In August 2013, a bunch of performers in adult entertainment got together to talk about our industry and said: "Shit's fucked up. The shit in question is more fucked up than it was a few years ago. Someone ought to do something." Rather than wait for someone to become an actual person who will fix things, we collectively pulled on our grown-up pants and decided to do something ourselves. Thus began the organisation called the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee." Porn actor Stoya writes about APAC and her personal guidelines for sexual consent in New Statesman; APAC has also filmed a video wherein working porn professionals explain the need-to-knows for people interested in entering the industry.
posted by mightygodking on Jan 22, 2014 - 46 comments

It's all about the pre-blowjob trash talk.

Orgasm Wars is a Japanese game show in which a gay man tries to force a straight man to orgasm. (Link is to Huffpo Article, and relatively sfw. Video within the link, not so much.) [more inside]
posted by emperor.seamus on Nov 22, 2013 - 85 comments

It’s a double-bind: consume, but look like you don’t

Don Jon and the Digital Porn Dystopia [more inside]
posted by Potomac Avenue on Oct 8, 2013 - 58 comments

Porn Sex v Real Sex

The difference between porn sex and real sex.. explained with food
posted by MuffinMan on Aug 1, 2013 - 36 comments

Is RealTouch the future of male masturbation?

"It strikes me, as I look down at the Realtouch device nuzzling my crotch like a baby goat sucking on a bottle, that I'm now effectively masturbating professionally." Loz Blain "road-tests" the male sex aid of the future, today.
posted by mr_crash_davis on Mar 28, 2013 - 183 comments

Do Not Disturb: Grandma’s Having Sex

Adults over 50 are the fastest growing demographic for online dating sites, according to a recently [sic] study from UCLA’s department of psychology. Yet while older adults often value companionship over passion and marriage, experts say frisky behavior by seniors should never be underestimated. “I hesitate to generalize that they’re only having gentle, intimate moments,” says Melanie Davis, co-president of the national Sexuality and Aging Consortium. “Older adults can have really hot sex.” But not, typically, in long-term care facilities.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey on Dec 21, 2012 - 34 comments

Naked

The World of a Professional Naked Girl - Molly Crabapple on her time as a nude model.
posted by Artw on Oct 30, 2012 - 50 comments

Indentured servitude, money laundering, and piles of money

If you think cam girls—those flirty naked characters that plague porn site pop-up ads—are raking in easy money, you're right. If you think cam girls are bleakly stripping online out of desperation, you're also right. Peel away the sex and pixels and money and you're left with the cloudy truth about the Internet's relationship status with these on-demand entertainers: it's complicated..
posted by latkes on Sep 25, 2012 - 30 comments

Hysterical Literature

Clayton Cubitt's Hysterical Literature is a video project where women seem to reach orgasm simply by reading a favorite passage from a book. Session 1 features alt-porn star Stoya reading Supervert's "Necrophilia Variations", while session 2 features Alicia reading Walt Whitman's "Leaves of Grass". Stoya's thoughts on the project, and Supervert's thoughts. (all NSFW)
posted by Joakim Ziegler on Aug 25, 2012 - 33 comments

"Watch closely. This is how gay men have sex now. That is where semen belongs. Fuck AIDS."

"The Most Important Gay Porn Film Ever Made?" [NSFW Warning: Pictures of a naked guy, no sex or penis shown.]
"Dawson's 20 Load Weekend redefined bareback porn and the men who appear in such porn. It influenced subsequent videos and expanded the availability of bareback films. It depicted a prevailing truth about gay sexual behavior "post-AIDS" and arguably encouraged risky sexual adventure-seeking. It led to the saturation of bareback porn online, making unprotected sex normative to whomever might be watching. To dismiss this film, to minimize its social and cultural impact, would be to demonstrate a profound misunderstanding of gay sexuality today."
posted by andoatnp on Aug 16, 2012 - 54 comments

The story of OMG seriously?

Katrina Lumsden reads the Fifty Shades of Grey books so you don't have to:
Fifty Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades Darker
Fifty Shades Freed
(contains animated gifs)
posted by Artw on Aug 5, 2012 - 189 comments

Twilight of the Pr0n

How the Internet Killed Porn.
posted by Artw on Jun 6, 2012 - 132 comments

Through the Valley of the Nest of Spiders

"Like his legendary Hogg, The Mad Man, and the million-seller Dhalgren, Samuel R. Delany’s major new novel Through the Valley of the Nest of Spiders—explicit, poetic, philosophical, and, yes, shocking—propels readers into a gay sexual culture unknown to most urban gay men and women, a network of rural gay relations—with the twist that this one is supported by the homophile Kyle Foundation, started in the early 1980s by a black multi-millionaire, Robert Kyle III, to improve the lives of black gay men." [more inside]
posted by kittensofthenight on May 13, 2012 - 38 comments

More like "Equal XXXchange"

But shouldn't consumers have some context to evaluate what they are viewing? Shampoo bottles and Tuna cans assure us that animals were unharmed. Shouldn't we know if porn actors are subject to out-of-control STD rates, or are forced to do things against their will? At a minimum, a Porn housekeeping seal of approval would tell us by, and for whom, the porn was made. It might make you think twice before downloading that random YouPorn video or chatting with a "horny Russian slut" at LiveJasmin.

Erika Christakis proposes a Fair Trade label for pornography.
posted by Cash4Lead on Mar 28, 2012 - 48 comments

NSFW: Xenomorph nerdery, along with a walk on the kinky side

Do they have odor? Is there a difference between warrior and drone aliens? How could they survive in the same form for such a long time (thousand years?) when actually they are changing their genetic code with every new host?

These are just a few of the posts on the website Alien Experience, which covers everything about the Alien and Predator creatures and movies.

But maybe you're looking for something a little different for your Xenomorph interest, something kinkier? Then read below the fold, where all links should be considered NSFW. [more inside]
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Dec 13, 2011 - 24 comments

Why the Female Sexual Submissive Scares Us

"As someone who [...] advocates against violence against women and for rape survivors' rights, I never really felt I was allowed to participate in the fantasy of my own violation."
posted by zeek321 on Nov 10, 2011 - 97 comments

High Five

(Every single link: NSFW!) Today was International Fisting Day. "For as long as I’ve done porn, distribution companies and retailers have banned the act of fisting in the films I’ve been in. It feels like it’s always been this way, but that’s not true. It’s only been a little over a decade." Queer porn icon Jiz Lee and auteur Courtney Trouble cant show real sex in mainstream porn. Why? [more inside]
posted by modernserf on Oct 21, 2011 - 108 comments

Disappearance

Disappearance: The History of Women's Pubic Hair (NSFW)
posted by SkylitDrawl on Oct 14, 2011 - 232 comments

Hard Times for Porn (Seriously)

"In the last few years, the rise of free online porn — content-rich sites that tease viewers to subscribe for more — and pay-site juggernauts like Brazzers have put the L.A.-based adult-video industry against the ropes. Its answer, in part, has been the high-dollar parody, designed to attract ComicCon nerds, science fiction fans and other pop culture aficionados who must collect everything within their target oeuvre." -- The troubled US economy affects pornstars too, so "Porn Defends The Money Shot" (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by bardic on Sep 29, 2011 - 80 comments

Is Sex Passe?

"Just as the watchword of my generation was freedom, that of my daughter’s generation seems to be control." Erica Jong finds a lack of passion in the longings of 20- and 30-somethings. Her claim is that internet porn and motherhood have replaced the quest for free love initiated by Boomer feminists. Sex educator Violet Blue (both links potentially NSFW) disagrees. Rosie Grey concurs in the Village Voice.
posted by Kitty Stardust on Jul 11, 2011 - 136 comments

NSFW

Slate: The Longform.org Guide to the Porn Industry "From the inspiration for Boogie Nights to the twisted psyche of a professional porn reviewer, five great reads about the business of smut." [more inside]
posted by zarq on Jun 11, 2011 - 22 comments

ASCIIpr0n

[NSFW: contains graphically sexual crude images]
-'"       `::dHHHHHF    <j      HHHHb: :.: :.: 
           |:HHHHHF         _"-.HHHHP.: :.: :.:
            dHHHHF   ._  - /<jdHHHHF :.: : :.:.
             """      \"-."  dHHHF:F:.: :.: :.:
  _.--'           \ .  "-'  dHHHF:j\.: :.:.:.:.
'"                 \ `. _.dHHHH:::| \.:.: :.: :
Wanna see more? Visit asciipr0n.com, and peruse some of the sexiest keystrokes imaginable.
text adventure10 years ago via The Wayback Machine • jscott's textfiles.com has more ascii art and porn from back in the BBS days • asciip0rn linked previously (how to make a starship enterprise out of an old floppy disk)
posted by not_on_display on Mar 9, 2011 - 59 comments

"He's just not that into anyone"

How Porn is Affecting the Libido of the American Male
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies on Feb 5, 2011 - 477 comments

Anti Porn Men

The Anti-Porn Men Project [more inside]
posted by blue funk on Sep 17, 2010 - 146 comments

Jizz Mopper Tales

The last days of the Lusty Lady (nsfw image) (previously)
posted by Artw on Jun 11, 2010 - 29 comments

My Conversation With an Anti-Porn Feminist, By Annie Sprinkle with Mae Tyme

We are two women from different worlds with very different experiences. I, Annie, have performed in, directed and produced pornography for twenty five years. Mae Tyme has been anti-pornography for equally as long. We met at a lesbian video night several years ago. You might think that we'd be enemies, because we have such different viewpoints. Could we come together to record a conversation, share our ideas, and show that women of desparate [sic] backgrounds and beliefs can communicate and collaborate?
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 on May 9, 2010 - 81 comments

Rule 34 Incarnate

Pedal Pumping Porno (Both sort of / not really / but kind of NSFW)
posted by zarq on Apr 19, 2010 - 40 comments

And they say there's nothing good on TV...

[NSFW]Concrete TV -- bringing you an audiovisual mashup of pornography, drugs, violence, rock'n'roll, the 1980's, and humor** -- via NYC Public Access Channel 67, Friday nights at 1:30 AM.
posted by not_on_display on Mar 5, 2010 - 22 comments

Graphic Sexual Horror, a documentary

A new documentary chronicles the rise and fall of Insex.com, one of the early websites. (NSFW) Co-directors Anna Lorentzon and Barbara Bell look at Insex, the people behind it, and the forces that ultimately brought it down. The stuff that Insex did tends to make even hardcore kinksters flinch a bit. However, as one reviewer points out, they at least put the activities into context, showing the performers both in the scenes (which include drowning and suffocation--some of this stuff may really hit some triggers for some people), as opposed to the notorious anti-porn documentary, The Price of Pleasure, which showed sex and kink without exploration of the performers' lives offscreen. One of the most interesting aspects of the film is that they ultimately were shut down not by obscenity laws, but by federal authorities who used the PATRIOT Act to claim that hardcore porn funded terrorism.
posted by Stochastic Jack on Sep 8, 2009 - 99 comments

Fight Over Job Training for Porn Company Heats Up In San Francisco

Matt Smith wrote an SF Weekly cover story this week revealing that the state had given almost $50,000 to Kink.com, the world's largest fetish porn company, for job training. The article resulted in the funding being revoked. Violet Blue responded in detail, interviewing many of the performers. The Bay Guardian tried to interview Smith but he declined to be interviewed. Smith responded to Violet on his blog, citing freedom of speech. Violet says she's not done with yet (NSFW). Now all the San Francisco outlets are writing about it including SFist, Bay Guardian, and The Sword.
posted by Stephen Elliott on Apr 25, 2009 - 84 comments

Because there weren't enough problems with our sex offender laws

"Sexting": a disturbing new teenage trend.
posted by Caduceus on Mar 26, 2009 - 129 comments

?!??zone (NSFW)

NSFW: [The new EA game Spore] + [Your naturally lecherous, lascivious, lewd, libidinous imagination] = Sporn!
posted by not_on_display on Sep 23, 2008 - 52 comments

Susie Bright on Stalagim

Susie Bright comments on the recent NYT piece about Israeli Nazi-themed porn. Andrea Dworkin wrote about this genre almost 20 years ago. There's a new film on the topic, which is what inspired the NY Times article.
posted by serazin on Sep 6, 2007 - 51 comments

$1300 double penetration in Standard B/G rates

So you want to do porn but you want to be sure you get paid for your efforts? Kink.com posts detailed listings of what acts pay what amount. (if you don't understand that this is NSFW, this may be your only career option)
posted by Kickstart70 on Aug 24, 2007 - 68 comments

Beanplating Porn

Discovering Porn (On Your Boyfriend’s Computer) [SFW]
posted by BeerFilter on Aug 24, 2007 - 233 comments

Stickam is for Porn!

onoes! teenz on teh pr0n webs! It's been a year since I posted about Stickam, and in that time, one would be naïve to think that a community of unmoderated videos broadcast live from the private and semi-anonymous bedrooms of the world would not result in epic lulz (nsfw). To no one's surprise, disgruntled Stickam ex-VP Alex Becker says Stickam shares office space, staff, and equipment with live pornographic video providers -- this via NYT tech writer Brad Stone. Cue the "think of the CHILDRUNZ!" moral panic. But popular websites being related to or backed up by prurient interest are nothing new: Wikipeda predecessor Bomis was once accused of having "softore porn" in its "Babes" section, and of course everyone knows porn drives technology. What do you think the internet is for? But if you use Stickam and this bothers you, the burgeoning field of live embeddable Flash-based webcam video streaming is rife with alternatives: uStream.tv, Justin.tv, BlogTV, Mogulus, and Operator11, just to name some -- but there'll be naked girls on those too. I guarantee it.
posted by brownpau on Aug 6, 2007 - 41 comments

Sex with aliens, nicely lit

Surprisingly sensitive alien sex. Skip the first four unfortunate images to get to the good stuff: sweetly erotic alien sex porn. Going gray never looked so hot. [nsfw, duh] [via Nerve's Scanner]
posted by mediareport on Jun 27, 2007 - 105 comments

Porno-Terrorism?

Is Porn out of Control? As the internets exploded, Clinton didn't seem to care.. Should the government now focus on shutting down the industry? Some loudly think so.
posted by UseyurBrain on Feb 27, 2007 - 80 comments

art or porn or hoax?

kama3d ~ Made by an anonymous French artist, this series of sculptures of kama sutra positions was supposedly exhibited at the Chambéry Modern Art Museum (Musée d'Art et d'Histoire) recently. Now you can virtually walk around them. Reminscent of that sculpture of Britney giving birth on a bearskin. But are they real? *NSFW* (Note: FLASH)
posted by crunchland on Jul 13, 2006 - 36 comments

Porn and the rest of us

What you watch Tucked deep inside a massive bill designed to track sex offenders and prevent children from being victimized by sex crimes is language that could put many Hollywood movies in the same category as hardcore, X-rated films. The provision added to the Children's Safety Act of 2005 would require any film, TV show or digital image that contains a sex scene to come under the same government filing requirements that adult films must meet.
posted by halekon on Oct 12, 2005 - 41 comments

"years ago slavery was considered popular"

9 Anti-Porn Myths Debunked, a July entry on the porn-industry blog SugarBank, generated some pretty good debate on the subject of degradation. Comments have been closed, so now I'd like to read what you people think (yes, I'm a selfish, greedy prick). Yesterday, I was firmly in SugarBank's camp, but after reading this today, I'm not so sure. It's about porn, so maybe NSFW, but there's no dirty pictures or anything.
posted by If I Had An Anus on Aug 3, 2005 - 103 comments

"The Valley"

"Bay Area photographer Larry Sultan's The Valley series focuses on the San Fernando Valley, where he grew up, and addresses the use of ordinary homes as sets for pornographic films." [most links, particularly the last four, are NSFW]
posted by the_bone on Aug 1, 2005 - 6 comments

Porn-again Christian

'I haven't seen a porno film in 20 years or more. No need to. I got my wife'.
Harry Reems tells about his struggle to survive Deep Throat.
posted by matteo on May 22, 2005 - 17 comments

Artsy Photographer Takes Portraits of P6rn Stars, Savage Wappa Ensues

XXX: 30 P9RN STAR PORTRAITS (a bit NSFW, obviously) by photographer Timothy Greenfield-Sanders, is a book that features paired portraits (one clothed and one nude) of the top stars in p6rn, straight and gay, from legends like (best-selling memoirist) Jenna Jameson, Ron Jeremy and Nina Hartley to (ahem) rising stars like Sunrise Adams, Belladonna, Chad Hunt. The book includes short essays on the intersection of p6rnography and culture by a wide range of writers, from Salman Rushdie to AM Homes. XXX is, essentially, about the much-dreaded "p6rnification" of the culture at large, recently featured in the New York Times. As Gore Vidal writes in the book's introduction, “Doubtless, sex tales were told about the Neanderthal campfire and perhaps instructive positions drawn on cave walls. Meanwhile, the human race was busy establishing such exciting institutions as slavery and its first cousin, marriage.” (more inside, with totally NSFW Terry Richardson)
posted by matteo on Sep 18, 2004 - 12 comments

Down wit porn, what?

When did Porn become mainstream? John Walsh asks the question in the Independant. The question might seem silly save for this. People in Buffulo asked to pose niked in public? Why not, American athletes do it, Spike Lee endorses it, and even Matt Damon wants to screw in front of you. Bosnian men don't seem to share Matt's fervor for the camera, but everyone is talking sex, even those icky old folks who frequent online football magazines. Why not have your tittilation in-your-face! Does the line between erotica and pornography even exist any more? many of the links via World Sex News.
posted by Wulfgar! on Aug 15, 2004 - 45 comments

Gives New Meaning to

Now's your chance to get with Jenna Jameson... Okay, not really. Apparently, the new gig in Berlin, Germany as of last month is pr0n Karaoke - you and a partner (or two, or three?) get together on stage, with a movie up on the screen, and "act out" the parts being played out graphically. So.... practice your faking and get ready to go!
posted by djspicerack on Oct 22, 2003 - 26 comments

Hubbies love bubbies, nappies

Yessir, you're my baby! Eeeeewwwwww.... Is this the end of masculinity as we know it? In a word: yes. And I don't mean maybe. Not that this would ever happen in a hot-blooded Latin country, mind you. Not safe for you workers - get back to work! [Via Linkfilter.]
posted by Carlos Quevedo on Apr 14, 2003 - 9 comments

BobCrane.com

BobCrane.com is a pay-pr0n site (don't worry; the first page, at least, is work-safe) that collects the explicit photos, films, etc. that "Hogan's Heroes" star Bob Crane took of himself and a ceaseless stream of female companions in his off-hours. What makes the site unusual is that it's run by Bob's son, Scotty, who takes particular pride in defending his dad's sexual prowess and mental health. This defense is necessary because Crane is being biopic'd in a new film by Paul Schrader which, according to a recent NYT article, imagines Crane as the archetypal sex addict, culminating in a still-unsolved murder. [reg. req'd: metafilter41, metafilter; much more inside.]
posted by blueshammer on Sep 30, 2002 - 16 comments

The Website of Anti-Porn Guy

The Website of Anti-Porn Guy Welcome to my site! My name is David McNamara and I am 19 years old. I have 2 cats and I am a senior at Royal Palm Beach High School in Royal Palm Beach, Florida......I want to ban pornography with a 10-year prison term for viewing or participating in pornography, as well as oral and anal sex with a 1-5 year prison term for oral sex and a 1-10 year term for anal sex. I also want to ban the manufacture and sale of contraceptives (birth control) with a prison term of up to 1 year in jail and/or a fine of up to $5,000 for violating this ban. None of these laws will be retroactive. Wonder what he's doing now - his site was last updated 12-10-00. Discuss? Dismiss?
posted by Corky on Jul 25, 2002 - 52 comments

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