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truths about gay relationships on the road to marriage equality

Master Bedroom, Extra Closet: The Truth About Gay Marriage
"In the fight for marriage rights, gay activists have (smartly) put forward couples who embody a familiar form of unity... But not all gay unions are built on the straight model, particularly when it comes to the issue of monogamy... The gay rights movement has made a calculated decision to highlight the similarities, not the differences, between straight and gay love on the road to marriage equality."
posted by andoatnp on Jun 20, 2013 - 56 comments

Hellfire, Damnation and Benjamin Franklin

Dead men tell some tales - a visit to the Hellfire Caves, home of one of the most infamous Hellfire Clubs.
posted by Artw on Jun 17, 2013 - 9 comments

The truth about female desire

Base, animalistic and ravenous: Daniel Berger's book What Do Women Want claims that a sexist bias has obscured research into the female sex drive. (previously)
posted by mrgrimm on Jun 13, 2013 - 48 comments

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet...

Still The Boss: Bruce Springsteen and the (Re)activation of Sex Appeal
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants on Jun 12, 2013 - 43 comments

Embryonic koro in birds

Cocks (almost) don't have a penis, a trait common to 97% of bird species, but they can grow one when the expression of the Bmp4 gene is prevented. The expression of this gene causes the percursor of the phallus in the chick embryo to undergo apoptosis (cell death) and Bmp genes are also involved in 3 other bird traits: feather development, toothlessness and beak shape. In penis-less bird species, copulation requires a sex maneuver nicknamed the cloacal kiss (in French) which requires a full cooperation of the female (3 min of tender parrot sex). In species where males have a penis, like ducks, females are less lucky: the coevolution of the rather convoluted morphology of male and female genitalia has been hypothezised to occur through sexual conflict [many previouslies]. The evolutionary mechanisms that drove phallus reduction in most birds species are still unknown.
posted by elgilito on Jun 11, 2013 - 20 comments

177. erotically denying them use of a line in a google doc

Tired of the standard baseball metaphors for sex? Here’s 300 queer as fuck bases. [more inside]
posted by NoraReed on Jun 10, 2013 - 11 comments

Your Parents Were Listening To This

This will tell you what your parents were probably having sex to when you were conceived. Links to youtube videos where available. Made by Philip Bump.
posted by Greg Nog on Jun 10, 2013 - 136 comments

Disclosure

Has Michael Douglas struck a blow for oral sex?
posted by Artw on Jun 6, 2013 - 144 comments

Landays: Poetry of Afghan Women

You sold me to an old man, father. May God destroy your home, I was your daughter.
posted by DarlingBri on Jun 3, 2013 - 16 comments

A Cultural History of Syphilis

How syphilis took Europe by storm during the 1490s, and the far reaching effects it's had ever since
posted by Mister Bijou on May 18, 2013 - 25 comments

Fireman uniforms, bust size, dogs and flowers: for science

Nicolas Guéguen is a researcher in human behaviour who runs curious and somehow whimsical experiments. With the help of a small army of "confederates", he studies the effects of various stimuli, including dogs, smiles, fireman uniforms, bust size (inflatable), hair color, music, flowers, figurines, touching, mirrors, names etc. on the courtship, sexual, helping, chivalrous, tipping, buying, hiring, compliance or eating behaviour of unsuspecting victims. Because not all experiments are successful, he has also published one failure in the Journal of Articles in Support of the Null Hypothesis. Selected papers are listed below the fold. [more inside]
posted by elgilito on May 17, 2013 - 6 comments

Ages 3 and Up

"Queen Frostine turned into a Bratz doll" - The evolution of sexed-up Candyland.
posted by Artw on Apr 26, 2013 - 57 comments

Oh don't lean on me man, cause you can't afford the ticket

Chako Paul City is a women-only city in the north of Sweden, established in 1820 by a wealthy widow. It is "a place that is respectful of women's love, but with a rule that men cannot enter"; the few who have tried have found themselves beaten half to death by the formidable Amazonian sentries at its gates. It has a castle, and its main industry is forestry, with a sideline in lesbian tourism. Of the 25,000 women, from all over Europe, living in Chako Paul City, those wishing to seek male company are allowed to leave, but may only reenter after having bathed and undertaken several other measures to avoid negatively affecting the mental state of the other residents. [more inside]
posted by acb on Apr 24, 2013 - 76 comments

"It's supposed to make my mornings even dreamier."

Little Rooster is the world's first alarm clock specifically designed to wake you up smiling. By waking you with pleasure. "The raciest alarm clock in the world." [more inside]
posted by heatherann on Apr 20, 2013 - 65 comments

When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men

The idea that men are naturally more interested in sex than women is ubiquitous that it’s difficult to imagine that people ever believed differently. And yet for most of Western history, from ancient Greece to beginning of the nineteenth century, women were assumed to be the sex-crazed porn fiends of their day.
posted by latkes on Mar 31, 2013 - 73 comments

Is RealTouch the future of male masturbation?

"It strikes me, as I look down at the Realtouch device nuzzling my crotch like a baby goat sucking on a bottle, that I'm now effectively masturbating professionally." Loz Blain "road-tests" the male sex aid of the future, today.
posted by mr_crash_davis on Mar 28, 2013 - 183 comments

On Romance and Psychosomatic Sneezing

"It’s pretty safe to say that a decent chunk of the population experiences sex-related sneezes." [more inside]
posted by showbiz_liz on Mar 27, 2013 - 39 comments

"Magna est veritas et praevalet"

Last June, the New York Times published an exposé of New York's exclusive Horace Mann School, detailing decades of sexual abuse of students by their teachers. The revelations prompted additional accusations and lawsuits from former students, an all-but-useless investigation, an admission by one of the school's former teachers, and a response by the school to parents (pdf). But one person who escaped the Times' notice was former English teacher Robert Berman.
posted by zarq on Mar 24, 2013 - 24 comments

I'm A Princess

French group Golden Mustache contemplates the sex lives of various video game characters (video, English subtitles, surprisingly SFW, wait for Tetris)
posted by The Whelk on Mar 17, 2013 - 23 comments

On Chicago Public Schools Censoring Persepolis's Images of Torture

Suffice it to say, Persepolis is quite a work. It’s a testament to the power of the graphic novel. The art’s simple linework helps the story feel unpretentious and direct. Persepolis was adapted as a 2007 French animated film, written and directed by Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud. Among other honors, it was nominated for an Academy Award. Why would someone want to ban such a book?
posted by Artw on Mar 16, 2013 - 33 comments

The Dark Side of the Miss USA Pageant

Donald Trump trumpets the integrity of the Miss USA pageant. The truth is a bit different.
posted by reenum on Mar 13, 2013 - 30 comments

Born which way?

Natalie Reed, who often writes about gender politics and social justice, calls out "born this way" (especially in a gender/trans* context) as its own form of gender essentialism:
“Gender identity” is still gender-essentialism. It’s just a gender-essentialism where we get to continue thinking men are men, and women are women, and these are inherent parts of who you are, but we also get to ignore the uncomfortable demand of DEFINING “man” and “woman” and what we mean by that, and thereby dodge the uncomfortable fact that any such definition within any essentialist framework necessarily invalidates, undermines, insults or excludes at least some trans or intersex people. It’s a way to go right on believing that our womanhood, or our manhood, or whatever “gender identity” we have, is an immutable and intrinsic quality of ourselves, and thereby maintain the comforting belief that it’s concrete and stable and unassailable, but without having to deal with any of the difficult implications of that, without having to interrogate our definitions, without having to worry about what we mean, and without having to really think about gender beyond the generally received notions. It’s a way to be transgender but still think of our genders the way cis people do.

posted by divabat on Mar 12, 2013 - 87 comments

The Singaporean Fairytale: You can have it all, if you choose to.

The Singaporean Fairytale is another contribution to the efforts to get Singaporeans to procreate (previously), made by undergraduate students, using reworked fairytales as a vehicle for sex and fertility ed. A lot of the content, however, is suspect: from claiming that sex will always make you feel better (especially if you're a woman) to a woman's worth being only based by their reproductive capacity.
posted by divabat on Mar 5, 2013 - 9 comments

Valibation

Valibation: It isn't in you, it is you. NSFW short film in which a man's addiction to his smartphone gets a bit out of hand. [Via]
posted by homunculus on Mar 2, 2013 - 30 comments

Cacao!

BDSM is so mainstream, it's ridiculous. James Franco's just made two films (arguably NSFW) about it. It's on Portlandia (same). We all know why.
posted by xowie on Mar 2, 2013 - 23 comments

How Pegging Can Save the World

If You Want a More Thoughtful Boyfriend, Try Pegging Him. Want to make straight men better in bed — and better feminist allies? The path may be simple: fuck them up the ass. According to one brand new book, the path to making men more compassionate, appreciative and playful may be straight through their butts.
posted by Blasdelb on Mar 1, 2013 - 158 comments

“To be good you have to practice .. by yourself and with other people”

“The point of jamming, musical or sexual, is to find out what happens and to enjoy the process of getting there.” -Sex is like Jamming for the SexEd Project [more inside]
posted by jeffburdges on Feb 28, 2013 - 52 comments

The testicles story, any sex stuff, and literary back stabbings

I realized that if something had happened to Henry James' testicles, that my friends didn't know about it, because if they did, it'd just be weird that they didn't mention it - given what we were talking about. And I thought this was sort of neat because one of my friends had done his Ph.D. on James, and even he didn't know about the guy's self-castration! I instantly resolved to solve the mystery.
            "Look," I said, exited now, "I'm pretty sure something happened down there, so I'm going to check it out. And when I do find out - "
            "You'll let us know.
            "We'll look forward to it."
posted by carsonb on Feb 13, 2013 - 22 comments

This is not the Hammer. The Hammer is my penis.

The Hammer is a light-up dildo that's muscle controlled. Or a test your strength game for your vagina or anus. Kristen Stubbs, Ph.D. is a roboticist who runs The Toymaker Project, "a place to think about technological empowerment with respect to sexuality, gender and pleasure." Likely NSFW.
posted by Joakim Ziegler on Feb 12, 2013 - 44 comments

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to violence."

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! - a look at Russ Meyer's finest film. (possibly NSFW)
posted by Artw on Feb 10, 2013 - 16 comments

Boys and girls in the demimonde

Aneta Bartos is a photographer whose most recent show, Boys, features lush, pictorial images of young men masturbating in the Carlton Arms Hotel (and is on display at the same hotel). All of her work, aside from her commercial portraits, is explicitly sexual, including male and female nudity. [more inside]
posted by klangklangston on Feb 7, 2013 - 31 comments

Intent counts here.

Right now, though, you can google “polyamory” and get a whole lot of nearly-identical polynormative hype articles, and you can meet up with locals who’ve read the same articles you just did, and you can all get together and do polynormative poly exactly the way the media told you to. And if that’s all you ever bother to do then essentially you are selling yourself short. You are trading in the monogamous norm for polynormativity, which relatively speaking isn’t all that much of a stretch, and stopping there because you may very well think that’s all there is (and you already racked up a whole bunch of cool points anyway). You aren’t encouraged to really think about this stuff without any imposed models at all, which means you never get to figure out what actually might work best for you. As such, the most fundamental element of polyamory—that of rejecting the monogamous standard, and radically rethinking how you understand, make meaning of and practice love, sex, relationships, commitment, communication, and so forth—is lost in favour of a cookie-cutter model that’s as easy as one, two, three. The deepest and most significant benefit of polyamory has become increasingly obscured by media representation, and as a result, is getting farther and farther out of reach for anyone who’s just starting out.
the problem with polynormativity, at Sex Geek
posted by davidjmcgee on Jan 28, 2013 - 221 comments

"...an enormous erect phallus, and piles of lettuce in the background."

First noticed on tumblr but now available to all, Alex Clayden's paper "Same-Sex Desire in Pharaonic Egypt" which, among other things, tells you about the connection between lettuce and semen and the Ancient Egyptian for "You have a nice ass."
posted by The Whelk on Jan 25, 2013 - 26 comments

Abortion in America

The Geography of Abortion Access - Forty years ago Tuesday, the Supreme Court ushered in legal abortion for American women when it decided in Roe v. Wade. Today, states—particularly in the South and Midwest—are eroding that right by legislating hundreds of provisions intended to impede access with burdensome obstacles. To understand more fully the complex state of access to abortion services in America, The Daily Beast identified and confirmed the location of the country’s remaining 724 clinics and calculated the distance from every part of the country to its closest clinic. (more)
posted by Artw on Jan 24, 2013 - 26 comments

Sex and surveys

"Men across all cultures reported higher sex drives and less restricted sexual attitudes than women, but women were consistently more variable than men in their sex drives. Another important, if not entirely surprising pattern, suggests that these differences are not entirely biological, and are due in some part to social and cultural ideologies." An io9 article looks at the results from a number of sex surveys.
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Jan 21, 2013 - 92 comments

Section Two: Bonus Appendages.

Does having sex with you entail becoming married, whether legally, magically, physiologically, or some other de facto permanent relationship? Y/N If Yes, please describe our new life together.
It's an unpredictable dating world out there when you're a fanfiction protagonist. With the proliferation of anonymous kink memes populated by imaginative, trope-savvy slashers and other fan-writers (usually women), you can never be quite sure when your next amorous encounter in fic may veer into the dubiously probable or physically impossible. Luckily for sexually-active fic-heroes everywhere, fan-writers Coruscera and Linbot have created a helpful meta-fandom survey to ensure your future romantic interludes run smoothly for all partners involved: "Special Circumstances Questionnaire for Sexual Partners (Male): Long Form." [NSFW for explicit sexual language. Possible trigger warnings for discussion of sexual consent and very unusual sexual practices.]
posted by nicebookrack on Jan 18, 2013 - 19 comments

Ohhhh... Canadaaaa...

To some, Canada's greatest guilty pleasure is Poutine (here are 38 variations, all on one page, THANK you Foodbeast) or William Shatner (who is bringing his one-man show to MY town tomorrow evening). But there are things most of us don't know about the Nice Folk to the North. Therefore, a new site for CANADIAN SEX ACTS, kind of a Kanada Sutra. NSFW and age restricted, this new site may have performance problems (insert snarky comment here); if so, just enjoy the list of names of great white north positions (Reverse Rick Moranis, Montreal Meatpie, Five-Legged Caribou...)
posted by oneswellfoop on Jan 18, 2013 - 66 comments

"once aroused, it seeks out its object, as hatred does, in its entire"

The Delights Of Disgust
I confess I am disgusted by a great many things about people (and about myself, but let's put that aside). I do not believe it is particularly urgent for me to overcome my disgust, even if I recognize that this emotion must remain entirely separate from my thinking about which laws would be most just. I am disgusted by other people's dandruff, facial moles, food stuck in their beards, yet I do not accept that in feeling this way I am judging those people to be subhuman. I take it rather that humanity, while endearing, is also capable of appearing disgusting.
[more inside]
posted by the man of twists and turns on Jan 16, 2013 - 23 comments

The Science of Sex Abuse

Is it right to imprison people for heinous crimes they have not yet committed?
posted by winecork on Jan 7, 2013 - 125 comments

Do Not Disturb: Grandma’s Having Sex

Adults over 50 are the fastest growing demographic for online dating sites, according to a recently [sic] study from UCLA’s department of psychology. Yet while older adults often value companionship over passion and marriage, experts say frisky behavior by seniors should never be underestimated. “I hesitate to generalize that they’re only having gentle, intimate moments,” says Melanie Davis, co-president of the national Sexuality and Aging Consortium. “Older adults can have really hot sex.” But not, typically, in long-term care facilities.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey on Dec 21, 2012 - 34 comments

Make love, not war.

Humon's illustrated (and explained) animal mating habits. [somewhat NSFW]
posted by cthuljew on Dec 15, 2012 - 15 comments

Consent is Sexy

Victoria's Secret has a new line of feminist-friendly underwear: PINK ♥s Consent. Except not really -- it's a hoax site created by FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture. The internet's response has been tremendous.
posted by Gordafarin on Dec 11, 2012 - 78 comments

Who spilled Hot Coffee?

Both characters remained fully clothed and there were no genital shots. But this was still the most explicit sexual content Wildenborg had seen in a video game. “It was at this point I decided to release the patch to the public,” he says. “I tossed the name 'Hot Coffee' on the file, based on the fact that the girlfriends would ask CJ in for some 'coffee' as a euphemism for sex. Hot Coffee was the first modification for San Andreas.” - The history of Grand Theft Auto's infamous "Hot Coffee" mod.
posted by Artw on Dec 9, 2012 - 37 comments

Interviews with Virgins

The Hairpin's Jia Tolentino holds three interviews with virgins. (Trigger warnings on the second and third stories.)
posted by Rustic Etruscan on Dec 7, 2012 - 12 comments

Big generative jockey

Just when you thought it was safe to open a book... it's the Literary Review's annual Bad Sex Award! (Previously) This year's nominees include works by Tom Wolfe, Ben Masters, Nicola Barker, Paul Mason, Nancy Huston, Craig Raine, Nicholas Coleridge, and Sam Mills. Not on the list? J.K. Rowling's The Casual Vacancy--despite "a couple of queasy moments," in the words of TLR senior editor Jonathan Beckman--and E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey, since the award "is not intended to cover pornographic or expressly erotic literature." Snippets from the nominated books can be found at the Guardian link.
posted by Cash4Lead on Nov 21, 2012 - 33 comments

a distraction that none of us want

Kevin Clash has resigned from Sesame Street as his first accuser retracts his retraction and a second accuser emerges. Mary Elizabeth Williams at Salon says this can't kill Elmo. Previously, and previously, alas.
posted by gerryblog on Nov 20, 2012 - 323 comments

"challenging Casanova"

Guys don't want casual sex: "This stereotype 'tells us that guys are primarily interested in sex, not relationships... This contributes to the notion that guys are emotional clods who are incapable of connecting with their partners because, hey, they’re just guys, and guys are only interested in sex.'... the Wake Forest University professor lays out the current data on young men’s sexual desires and behavior to make a case against this insidious stereotype." Salon interviews Andrew Smiler, author of Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male. [more inside]
posted by flex on Nov 19, 2012 - 122 comments

All I remember about it was that I was having sex with Pierce Brosnan in a hot tub. Except that he had a vagina.

"Emma Stone was my dream best friend for a number of weeks. We'd see movies together. Get drinks and gossip. I remember one dream where we just texted. She resurfaced as my best friend last fall after I saw The Help. An actual friend of mine once told me a story about meeting Andrew Garfield's best friend, which meant Andrew Garfield and I were dream best friends for the following few nights. Again, there was texting." The Awl asks people: What Was Your Weirdest Celebrity Sex Dream?
posted by The Whelk on Nov 15, 2012 - 113 comments

Petraeus and the Fourth Estate

We’ve caught some of the smartest and most commited public men and women with their pants at their ankles. Time and again, we’ve had our fun. We’ve roundly mocked them for the very weaknesses that are so utterly our own. Reporters who have at points in their lives fucked themselves silly in hotel rooms across this great land of ours while pursuing the infidelities of more public men with righteous glee — these are not men and women who are much inclined to any real moment of self reflection, but then who among us really is? This kind of hypocrisy requires a complicit silence and a ritual wiping of the memory before every byline. [more inside]
posted by Hypnotic Chick on Nov 14, 2012 - 72 comments

"I am done making excuses for the pro-life movement."

How I Lost Faith In The Pro-Life Movement: "What I want to share here is how I came to this realization. And if you, reader, are one of those who opposes abortion because you believe it is murder and you want to save the lives of unborn babies, well, I hope to persuade you that the pro-life movement is not actually your ally in this, that you have been misled, and that you would be more effective in decreasing the number of abortions that occur if you were to side with pro-choice progressives. If this is you, please hear me out before shaking your head." [more inside]
posted by flex on Nov 7, 2012 - 544 comments

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