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All I was hoping to accomplish was having a wife who wanted me

The Emotional Costs of Fidelity
I recently came across Suburban Sex Blog, the blog of a 30-something, married with children, sexually deprived male suburban dweller who posts about the frustrations of having a wife who just doesn't want sex. After reading this entry where his wife tells him to just "get over it" after he confronts her about the complete lack of sexual contact between the two of them for months, I knew I'd found a blog that I'd be checking in on frequently. Guys blogging about their sex lives is nothing new you might think, but instead of filling their blogs with macho bragging about their conquests, there's a growing number of good blogs where married guys are opening their hearts about the insecurities, depressions and fear that goes with trying hard to make a marriage work instead of giving into the temptation of cheating.

After going through some of these issues myself while my wife was going through a period of depression I know first hand how an emotionally distant wife can wreak havoc with everything from one's self-esteem, concentration and general mental well being. These blogs put things into a perspective that many men refuse to share, and many women never even suspect.
posted by DragonBoy on Jun 11, 2004 - 133 comments

 

It was 10 Years Ago Today. . .

The San Francisco Chronical has an observance on the 10th anniversary of the death of Randy Shilts. His second book, And the Band Played On opened my eyes to the AIDS epidemic, as I am sure it did to a lot of straight people. I was amazed to see him pilloried in the gay press as being a traitor to his "kind." My understanding is that this disfavor arose from his assertion that aspects of the hard-won sexual freedom enjoyed by many gay men were also killing them. Anyone want to weigh in on this?
posted by Danf on Feb 17, 2004 - 25 comments

Dear Mary:

Mary Cheney: "The next time you walk into a gay public place, be prepared for a chorus calling you everything from a quisling and a betrayer to a selfish, fiendish, nasty example of a human being." Michelangelo Signorile's open letter to the VP's gay daughter.
posted by archimago on Jan 27, 2004 - 78 comments

"Brandon Teena lived and loved as a man. For that, she paid with her life."

"Brandon Teena lived and loved as a man. For that, she paid with her life." Exactly ten years ago today , John Lotter and Tom Nissen hunted down Teena Brandon on a quiet farm near Humboldt, Nebraska (just west of Falls City) and brutally murdered her along with two of her friends (Lisa Lambert and Phillip DeVine), leaving only an eight-month old baby at the bloody crime scene. They had raped her that Christmas and when she reported it to Richardson County Sheriff, Charles Laux (currently working at the Tecumseh prison, where Lotter is ironically housed), she was subjected to a humiliating line of questioning that the Nebraska State Supreme Court would later call "beyond all possible bounds of decency". No action was taken to apprehend the cowardly pair until it was too late. [more inside]
posted by RavinDave on Dec 31, 2003 - 13 comments

Lust And Love

Why Are Love And Lust Always Talked About As Opposites? Even a much-respected philosopher like Simon Blackburn makes this essentially epistemological mistake. The horrific modern expression "in lust" is a further example. How can you lust after someone without loving them a little (or a lot) too? Or vice-(and the word vice is well applied)-versa? [More inside.]
posted by MiguelCardoso on Dec 20, 2003 - 75 comments

When health takes a back seat to ... taste?

We already knew that frequent masturbation might cut prostate cancer risk. But it turns out that this is not a message fit for American families. The details of the Lewinsky episode splattered across front pages of the US and abroad come to mind, but also Nancy Reagan pleading for stem research.
posted by magullo on Sep 8, 2003 - 90 comments

Is Male Infidelity, Uh, Hardwired?

Is Male Infidelity Hardwired? The Washington Post reports on an academic study by the International Sexuality Description Project that "found that men everywhere--whether single, married or gay--want more sexual partners than women do." Part of the research may have come from this web site, which is run by the author of the survey.
posted by kirkaracha on Jul 31, 2003 - 42 comments

SCOTUS goes gay

Supreme Court wisely rules that you can't legislate morality and that privacy between consenting adults is a-ok as the Texas sodomy law (that applies to homosexuals only) is struck down. Ruling invalidates other remaining sodomy laws on the books. Dancing in the streets ensues. And as usual, Scalia gets to add his wisecracks in the dissent. [via SCOTUSblog]
posted by mathowie on Jun 26, 2003 - 142 comments

Gay Handshake

Beware of the Homo Handshake! Will "Gaydar" finally meet its demise?
posted by LexRockhard on Jun 24, 2003 - 14 comments

Everybody Loves Boobies

Women are sexually aroused by women regardless of which gender they have sex with. "Researchers measured the psychological and physiological sexual arousal in homosexual and heterosexual men and women as they watched erotic films. There were three types of erotic films: those featuring only men, those featuring only women and those featuring male and female couples. As with previous research, the researchers found that men responded consistent with their sexual orientations. In contrast, both homosexual and heterosexual women showed a bisexual pattern of psychological as well as genital arousal. That is, heterosexual women were just as sexually aroused by watching female stimuli as by watching male stimuli, even though they prefer having sex with men rather than women."
posted by NortonDC on Jun 14, 2003 - 96 comments

Bible Sex Stories

Bible Sex Stories: The Good Book's dirty bits explained. Pssst, wanna snack while you read? [From the always entertaining Jewsweek; Definitely NSFW or for those still with one foot still out of their handbasket to Hell.]
posted by MiguelCardoso on Apr 30, 2003 - 17 comments

Sex Ed

Since it's Hump Day here on MeFi, I thought I'd let everyone know that the National Sexuality Resource Center opened last week in San Francisco. (SF Chron article here.) So far, the site seems pretty sparse information-wise, but there's an interesting article on disability and sexuality.
posted by DakotaPaul on Feb 26, 2003 - 12 comments

Tolerance and Hypocrisy on Gay-Straight Clubs

These two blogs were created by the "peers" of gay, lesbian, bi, and straight kids in Kentucky who have been struggling for their right to a safe space.
They had a sponsor, Kaye King, who is an English teacher and a certified counselor. They did research and learned that there were 1,200 such clubs nationally. Tyler McClelland, a senior, says they just wanted a supportive group, where no one whispered "queer" behind their backs.
Bill O'Reilly has called the ACLU terrorists for taking on the case, which is currently in federal court.
posted by djacobs on Feb 9, 2003 - 48 comments

Test your Hidden Bias

Test your Hidden Bias. Tolerance.org has a set of Java-based tests designed to shed light on personal hidden biases w.r.t. race, gender, sexuality, and body image. Your results may surprise you. See also this New York Times article mentioning these tests and more rigorous studies.
posted by tss on Jan 3, 2003 - 37 comments

U.S. Supreme Court to reconsider anti-homosexual laws

On September 17, 1998, in response to an armed robbery call, Houston police burst in to the home of John Lawrence. The police didn’t find a robber (nor would they – the call was deliberately false), but they did find Lawrence having sex with another man, Tyrone Garner. Lawrence and Garner were promptly charged with “engaging in homosexual conduct,” a misdemeanor under Texas law. They paid their fine and began a long legal challenge to Texas’ anti-sodomy law. That challenge has finally reached the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court, which today agreed to hear their appeal early next year. Standing in the way is the Court’s own 1986 decision in Bowers v. Hardwick, in which it held that anti-sodomy laws are constitutional. That may be about to change.
posted by pardonyou? on Dec 2, 2002 - 43 comments

Tumor-induced Pedophilia

Tumor-induced Pedophilia - the BBC reports on an american man who, at the age of 40, developed completely uncontrollable and ammoral sexual impulses after developing a tumor in the right lobe of the orbifrontal cortex. After the tumor was removed, he returned to normal. More inside...
posted by Irontom on Oct 21, 2002 - 28 comments

You did what on an MRI machine??

You did what on an MRI machine?? [pdf]. Also included is the transcript of one of the 'participants' in this experiment.
(Friday fun - possibly NSFW)
posted by patrickje on Aug 9, 2002 - 20 comments

There is no more excuse not to know at least where to look for it, --with graphic topography and description of the top entertainment spot, the famed G. Do you know how to find it?
posted by semmi on Jul 5, 2002 - 12 comments

M. is a girl living as a boy

M. is a girl living as a boy and his school is helping to keep his secret. Is that just asking for trouble? And should a 13 year old be considered for gender-reassignment therapy or is this just an extreme case of tomboy-ism that s/he'll grow out of? [NYT mefi/mefi]
posted by mdn on May 26, 2002 - 32 comments

Harmful to Minors

Harmful to Minors In the introduction to her book she writes that " 'Harmful to Minors' launches from two negatives: Sex is not ipso facto harmful to minors; and America's drive to protect kids from sex is protecting them from nothing. Instead, often it is harming them." Is she right, some think she is just evil.
posted by onegoodmove on Apr 4, 2002 - 24 comments

Man, I need to go back to college!

Man, I need to go back to college! Berkeley students go to strip clubs and play "The Match Game" in a male sexuality class.
posted by MikeB on Feb 19, 2002 - 15 comments

Was tonight's "Will and Grace" a coming out episode for Rosie O'Donnel? Sure, it was her character that came out---(though, so was Ellen's)---but she seemed a little choked up when she said the line: "Jack, I'm gay." PlanetOut.com discusses the matter and reports that Rosie will be coming out for real in her soon to be published Biography: "Find Me." Either way, though, whether it was just her character or Rosie speaking through the character, it was a prettty memorable TV moment.
posted by adrober on Jan 31, 2002 - 49 comments

Have a favorite vehicle?

Have a favorite vehicle? Looking for a late night, post-office party romp, well keep an eye out for the Spanish or Italian gent in his Porsche Boxter, or the Chesire lady in her Volkswagen Beetle. Be sure to stay clear of stick shifts and men from Southeast England.
posted by Voyageman on Dec 18, 2001 - 20 comments

The United States - "Sexual Superpower"

The United States - "Sexual Superpower" - according to a study done by condom maker SSL International, folks in the US are having more sex (an average of 124 times per year), with more partners (an average of 14.3 partners), and starting to have sex younger (average age of 16) than any country in the world.
posted by tpl1212 on Nov 27, 2001 - 40 comments

"Terror Sex"?

"Terror Sex"? Geez..."next on Oprah!", or maybe somewhere on cable.
posted by BarneyFifesBullet on Sep 21, 2001 - 7 comments

Have you ever wondered about your sexuality?

Have you ever wondered about your sexuality? If you're like me, no. But, you might want to mosey over here and check on it anyway. Who knows what happened to it since the last time you looked? This quiz attempts to guess your sexuality based on the answers you give to multiple choice questions. There's a AI program behind it that grows more intelligent as more people take the quiz.
posted by RustyBrooks on Aug 29, 2001 - 54 comments

An Orgy of Abstinence.

An Orgy of Abstinence. "Questions plant ideas," warns Peter Brandt, director of issues-response for the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family. Well we wouldn't want things like questions or ideas in our schools, now would we?
posted by MarkO on Aug 1, 2001 - 23 comments

Critics call Abercrombie & Fitch catalog soft porn.

Critics call Abercrombie & Fitch catalog soft porn. I can't comment on the catalog itself, since I haven't seen it; I just had to laugh out loud though when I read this sentence: "Boycott organizers contend the company... is wooing younger customers and using sex to popularize its image." Oh, the horror! Also striking was A&F's spin on it, calling it " the Norman Rockwell of 2001." Clearly, a divide in perceptions. Can anyone who has seen the offensive/inoffensive material in question explain why it is/isn't any different from the marketing practices of, oh, say, everyone else?
posted by topolino on Jun 22, 2001 - 23 comments

Calling all Kaycee detectives! The antithesis of all things Kaycee has been found. "Uninhibited, straightforward and nasty," Slutblog is the journal of one woman's battle to overcome a debilitating nymphomania. While waiting for updates on the Kaycee situation, does anyone care to out the creator of this trash?
posted by dogmatic on May 21, 2001 - 21 comments

How to become heterosexual.

How to become heterosexual.
Dr. Spitzer, "a Jewish, atheist, secular humanist" and psychiatrist, has found that it is possible to change sexual orientation.
Question #1
Would it also be possible to make straight people gay?
Question #2
"...11 percent of men and 37 percent of women reported a complete absence of homosexual indicators"
Homosexual indicators? Such as ..........?
Question #3
...... oh never mind.......
posted by nonharmful on May 9, 2001 - 108 comments

Were SF attorneys having sex with dogs?

Were SF attorneys having sex with dogs? Robert Noel and/or Marjorie Knoller own the dogs that killed Diane Whipple. Now a search warrent is released that looked in a Pelican Bay prison cell for "any materials or correspondence describing sexual acts by Noel or Knoller that involve dogs." It doesn't sink much lower than this.
posted by bjennings on Mar 1, 2001 - 17 comments

Boy Scouts: 1 Gay Memebers: 0

Boy Scouts: 1 Gay Memebers: 0 Court Says Boy Scouts Can Bar Gays, which is slightly troubling, in that a psuedo-national organization can make rules that go against government policy. I don't see how a scoutmaster being gay has anything to do with teaching kids how to tie knots and go camping though.
posted by mathowie on Jun 28, 2000 - 52 comments

The same-sex domestic partnerships bill

The same-sex domestic partnerships bill in Vermont has been approved by the state's lawmakers. "The continued denial of these legal protections, benefits and responsibilities to a small but vulnerable class of Vermont's citizens diminishes their humanity, dignity, freedom and independence." It's about damn time, hopefully other states will soon follow suit. Oh, and if you have a problem with this, listen to this and let me know why you continue to have problems with it.
posted by mathowie on Apr 25, 2000 - 12 comments

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