The Nordic Society for Invention & Discovery has brought never-before-seen and totally exclusive technologies into the world, such as the Aaltopuck (an ice hockey puck modeled after Alvar Aalto's Savoy Vase), the Flower Shell (a shotgun shell that shoots seeds into the ground), the Wall of Sound (an 8000-watt iPod dock) and No More Woof (a device that wraps around your dog's head and translates his or her brain waves to computerized speech).
I regret to inform you that my wedding to Captain Von Trapp has been cancelled. Comedian and author Melinda Taub's piece in McSweeney's, a letter from Baroness Elsa Schraeder to the guests of the wedding she thought she was going to have. Related: An Update on the Problem of Maria. A memo from the Reverend Mother to The Nuns. [For those not in the know]