3. The girls are always there: you make breakfast - lapdancers. You brush your teeth - lapdancers. You try and sleep - lapdancers. Can you handle that?The Lapdance Island contestant application. Can you handle that?
Increasingly, London is its bars. Twenty-seven new drink portals open every week. Luckily Chris Morris has sorted through the chaff to give us the definitive London bar guide.
Unfortunately, the Jam Wrestling Party failed to win a seat in the UK Elections. I think this is a real shame. I mean, can anyone else think of a better use for the Millennium Dome?
Hmmm, Big Brother is checking out my motor, and no one seems to care anymore. Pretty soon Big Brother will track my personal movements and know my genetic make up! Well, I'm outta here in four days and who knows what life will be like on this Sceptered Isle by the time I get back? Why doesn't anyone seem to care about this anymore!