The American way of using a fork and knife is inefficient and inelegant. (SLSlate) Do you cut-and-switch? Well, you've got to stop. The more time you waste pointlessly handing utensils back and forth to yourself, the less time you’ll have to cherish life and liberty, pursue happiness, and contribute to America’s future greatness. And also—though that snob at dinner surely didn't know this—the supposedly all-American cut-and-switch is in fact an old European pretension, of just the sort we decided to free ourselves from 237 years ago.
"You do not sew with a fork, and I see no reason why you should eat with knitting needles." - Miss Piggy
Think you've got a problem? Then discover how you should pick your nose with a fish fork. Some guys really don't get all the luck. Not when they bleed to death from eating blueberries.