In a must-see interview for tabletop gamers everywhere, Colonel Louis Zocchi talks about modern mass produced plastic dice and why they utterly fail at being random: Part 1 - Part 2
This is a really creepy mash up of the Rejuvenique infomercial and Joe Cocker's "You are so Beautiful to Me".
"She handed me the box and I studied it carefully, squinting, even allowing my eyes to blur, to try and see what I was missing. She pointed- 'Do you see?' See what? I didn't see anything. Just broccoli. Her finger tapped on a certain part of the box and she urged me to look closer. 'There- right there. Do you see it? I'm not going to tell you what it is if you don't see it.' And then, it suddenly became clear to me. WHAT THE HELL?"
Boys and Girls: A Short Book about Choosing If and When to Have Sex. (Narrated by a sweet sounding lassie.)
Crystal Head Vodka. Dan Aykroyd's been sampling too much of his own product
"Beginning in October, the Army plans to station an active unit inside the United States for the first time..." (SLthisisveryscaryYT)
Urlesque curates the Top 10 WTF Bodybuilding Routines. Because nobody does the robot like a guy coated head to toe in glistening lubricant.
He wanted his espresso iced, but the coffee shop wouldn't let him. "Hey man. What you're about to do … that’s really, really Not Okay." [more inside]
A flipside of Kitty WigsTM, for the stylish kitty - pointed out previously - is available for the stylish kitty owner!
To Whom It May Concern: If you are reading this then I can only assume that you have removed the pond under which this note is buried... [more inside]
The Perfect Hate Storm: Malkin vs. Rachael Ray and Dunkin' Donuts. The food blog at epicurious, of all places, presents a concise summary of the dustup that resulted when the forces of right-wing punditry ran headlong into the pillars of corporate marketing. If it seems as if there are no winners here (especially since it's not even clear if the scarf in question was a kaffiyeh), at least we can take solace in the fact that no one will be wearing them any more.
The uncanny valley just got deeper. "Treat yourself to the perfect woman."
Worried that contemporary academic poetry isn’t difficult and weird enough? Then check out this YouTube’d performance (which might be NSFW for some) of Hot White Andy by Keston Sutherland, poet, academic and J.H. Prynne disciple. [more inside]
Like sea monkeys in your pants! Entomological blogger Bug Girl (previously) debunked a web site touting the benefits of giant Japanese non-biting genital lice as personal "pets" (they just live happily in your underwear. It’s so COOL! They grow, and have families. You can feel em living and crawling around!). She dismissed it as a hoax. So the site's author sent her a sample.
Where has all the pubic hair gone? After sweating through the [eight-year-old girl's] eyebrow wax, Engle [...] was directed to give her pint-size client a … bikini wax. “But … there’s nothing there, right?” I ask Engle. “I mean, at eight? Am I forgetting something?” “Nope,” she says. “There’s not. Doesn’t matter. That’s when the mothers are starting them these days.”
"1 Crunchwrap Supreme + 1 OCTO-MAC + 20 or so Taco Bell Fire Sauce packets + Taco Bell Cheese Sauce + Bacos + Garfield's Macaroni & Beef + A splash of Jim Beam + Approximately 2 cups of salsa = GODKILLER, for why else would it exist but to kill God?" [more inside]
Spock (nsfw) -- titled "Planet New Hampshire," part of Superhero Lonely, a 2005 exhibition of paintings by John Jacobsmeyer. [more inside]
Nine experienced cross-country skiers hurriedly left their tent on a Urals slope in the middle of the night at around -30 degrees Celsius for no obvious reason, casting aside skis, food, boots and most of their clothes. Soon they would be dead, some with injuries more suited to car crash victims, and apparently dosed with radiation. Their deaths are still unexplained, 49 years later. The Mystery of the Dyatlov Pass Accident. [more inside]
Last summer two right feet washed up on shore within a week of each other on two separate tiny islands in British Columbia. Today a third right foot has just washed up.
Doctors successfully removed a two-inch nail from a man's genitals yesterday. Doctors pulled the nail out of his urethra on their first attempt and later said the man could have died if the object had not been spotted on X-ray. The man had admitted himself to SMC on Sunday night with extreme abdominal pain and was unable to speak. The man told doctors the last thing he remembered was having something sprayed in his face and being fondled by one of his assailants before he blacked out. [more inside]
"I'm going to kill myself in 90 days." A blogger calling herself "Jane" sets up a blog to chronicle her final 90 days, and is calling on the internet for suggestions on how to do it. Disturbed blogger? Or another "viral campaign" for something soon to be revealed? [more inside]
How to win at the internet: Horse mask? Check. Wild mushrooms? Check. Improbable thongs and partial nudity? Check. Dancing? Check. Craziest goddamn thing I've ever seen on the internet? Absolutely. As if I even need to say it, this isn't safe for work, for human consumption, or retaining what few shreds of sanity you believe that you may still cling to.
September 11, 2001. It's 10:15 am and the South Tower just went down. Millions of French people are watching the live coverage of the events on TF1, France's major TV channel, with star anchorman Poivre d'Arvor doing a running commentary. Then, for a split second, a character from a famous movie happily tells us (in French subtitles) that he "did it" (18 s in the video) (Dailymotion video). [more inside]
Elyse Sewell blogs domestic abuse in her Livejournal. Previously. Think you had a shitty weekend? Nah. Why not compare it to mine? . . . On the drive home (home?) from Albuquerque to Portland, my ex-boyfriend got sh*tfaced and roughed me up in a Sacramento hotel. I escaped from the room through a blitzkrieg of violence and talked to hotel security, who called the fuzz. [more inside]
Post a controversial comment, get arrested. "Some were disturbed by the post police say James Buss left on a conservative blog, but other observers said it was a sarcastic attempt to discredit critics of education spending."
Dinosaurs preach Young Earth creationism. "The Fossil Finders are a group of eight homeschooled children on a search for the [Biblical] truth on fossils." (This shorter excerpt cuts to the main argument, involving the discovery of flexible T. Rex tissue. Scientists remain interested in the find.) The video was produced by World's Biggest Dinosaurs, the people who now own the roadside landmark, Cabazon Dinosaurs -- and have turned it into a creation museum. [Previously]
Crazy Rulers of the World: The Men Who Stare at Goats - A rather clear look at attempts to use the paranormal in the US military. (Part 2: Funny Torture, Part 3: Psychic Foot Soldiers)
Household Hacker offers a growing variety of bizarrely improbable or impossible "hacks" using household items. How many errors can you spot?
Smile - a very creepy short student film.
Project Pterosaur The goal of Project Pterosaur is to mount an expedition to locate and bring back to the United States living specimens of pterosaurs or their fertile eggs, which will be displayed in a Pterosaur Rookery that will be the center piece of the planned Fellowship Creation Science Museum and Research Institute (FCSMRI). Although, sadly, it may not be real.
Justice "live" on Jimmy Kimmel -- An interesting solution to the problem of 'performing' electronic music.
Remember the new, inscrutable license plate put out by the state of Oklahoma commemorating 9/11? Well, apparently the CIA can design logos pretty well too. Presenting the Terrorist Buster.
"The Passion narrative is a coded description of the attempted rape of Jesus by pygmies." -- David S. Katz in his book The Occult Tradition, discussing the, uh, theozoological work of völkisch "philosopher" Jörg Lanz von Liebenfels (1874-1954). Oh, he also has Firepower 4+ (pdf). [more inside]