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What's the deal with your nickname? How did you get it? If your nickname is self-explanatory, then tell everyone when you first started using the internet, and what was the first thing that made you say "wow, this isn't just a place for freaks after all?" Was it a website? Was it an email from a long-lost friend? Go on, spill it.

Go to Settings -> iCloud -> Find my iPhone and select Send Last Location. If you lose your phone (or iPad), sign into iCloud.com and it’ll show you your device’s last known location on the map.