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What's the deal with your nickname? How did you get it? If your nickname is self-explanatory, then tell everyone when you first started using the internet, and what was the first thing that made you say "wow, this isn't just a place for freaks after all?" Was it a website? Was it an email from a long-lost friend? Go on, spill it.

I sit alone in a sterile room at a work station, connected to the Internet, which is connected to the rest of the world. The building in which this room can be found is considerably larger than the room, of course, but every person in this building is dead. Except me.

Someone had this idea, 26 months ago, that giant spiders were good. Giant spiders would scurry up buildings and wash windows. Giant spiders would create giant webs around sky scrapers to keep not-so-giant insects from ruining the farmers market on Sunday. Giant spiders would leap through traffic delivering important letters. Giant spiders would stop crime with silken nets of justice shot from their butts. Giant spiders would do all this and more. It was a very compelling Powerpoint.

So we made some giant spiders. Turns out, giant spiders want to eat us, all of us. Giant spiders don't judge. We're all the same in each of their eight eyes. Wiggly little flesh pods, ripe to be wrapped and liquified. The other thing about giant spiders is they don't give a fuck. You can shoot them, they keep coming. You can knock off one or two of their legs, they still have six or seven more with your name on them. Giant spiders don't think about going home missing pieces and social stigma and is this worth it because giant spiders have the same instinct as normal-sized spiders, which is that eating is generally the thing to do.

I'm not sure how the giant spiders got out of the breeding labs. The company will probably say it was a mistake by an intern and discontinue the collegiate initiative but, truthfully, those kids were really bright and very careful and seriously fucking freaked out when they found out we were making giant spiders. (But they stayed. Granted, they were contractually obligated to stay.) I doubt an intern let the spiders out. It was probably one of the higher-ups. They don't--well, didn't really do much here anymore anyway. Never paid attention to anything. I bet it was Dr. Greeves. Greeves never cleaned up after himself in the break room, probably couldn't be bothered to remember to close the fucking giant spider cages either.

I managed to seal myself in this room. I think we had some prototype moderately large spiders sealed in here at one point. It's pretty plain now. I thought, as I was dodging webs running through the corridors, that it was probably pretty stupid to bring my laptop with me, but it turns out to have been a good idea. I have the Internet here, amazingly enough, so I have some entertainment until the spiders break through.