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What's the deal with your nickname? How did you get it? If your nickname is self-explanatory, then tell everyone when you first started using the internet, and what was the first thing that made you say "wow, this isn't just a place for freaks after all?" Was it a website? Was it an email from a long-lost friend? Go on, spill it.

I am a 1:6 scale "Bartender of Fortune" action figure from 1976 come to life, accessories like Japanese bartools, Panama hat, butterfly-bottle-knife, Fernet-Branca coin, two-tone Chuck Taylors, and scented mustache wax included.

Wear your boots to bed;
For the sex, or in case you die in your sleep.

For the record, Pirate speaks better Belter Creole (from the SyFy show "The Expanse") than does the linguist who invented the lanuguage.

The Long Yuletide War: Santa Claus vs. Krampus TO THE DEATH!