Mushroom, Mushroom...
January 28, 2011 1:01 PM   Subscribe

Merit badges for nerds, mothers, and Etsy hipsters.

boy scouts, women & scientists have already earnt theirs.
posted by zamboni (18 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
Why do those have to be only for mothers? I've personally cleaned way more feces out of clothes, hair, bathtubs, strollers, car seats, etc. in the last few years than any human should ever have to. I want my fucking diaper badge, damnit!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 1:12 PM on January 28, 2011 [7 favorites]

Don't forget these!
posted by Windigo at 1:15 PM on January 28, 2011 [2 favorites]

what if you're all three? where's the merit badge for tweeting about your homemade Battlestar-themed mittens while giving a bath to twins?
posted by daisystomper at 1:15 PM on January 28, 2011 [3 favorites]

I was never a scout of any kind, yet I was always envious of the badges earned by others. I think grad school is an appropriate time to start collecting badges and putting them on my shoulder bag.

Can't wait to get that "Dissertation Survival" Merit Badge.
posted by SNWidget at 1:18 PM on January 28, 2011

The 10th Regiment of Foot: "I want my fucking diaper badge, damnit!"

Same thing, with penis rampant.
posted by theredpen at 1:19 PM on January 28, 2011 [2 favorites]

Please somebody make merit badges for the VSS achievements.
posted by Ad hominem at 1:22 PM on January 28, 2011

Where are the parenting badges for working moms? Expressing milk at a temp job? Making it to the day care by 5:30 when work is 45 minutes away? Or teenagers. Lots of merit badges for parenting adolescents. But, yeah, they're kinda cool, and a nice memory of Girl Scouting.
posted by theora55 at 2:12 PM on January 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

I want one for not strangling my kids.
posted by madred at 2:31 PM on January 28, 2011 [2 favorites]

I want a merit badge for watching that Pink video somebody posted right up to the point where she is in the bathtub and starts cutting herself with a razor blade. Some of you said it got better after that but I wonder how you could continue to watch it.
posted by bukvich at 2:41 PM on January 28, 2011

I am totally serious: I will pay good money for anyone who can make me a "leaving the nest" badge that a male teen would actually want to put on his laptop.
posted by misha at 4:46 PM on January 28, 2011

I can claim five of the nerd merit badges. I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed.

(And why is there no Metafilter badge? That I would display proudly.)
posted by cmyk at 5:52 PM on January 28, 2011 [2 favorites]

NaNoWriMo usually has writer's badges on their store page.

I love this whole merit badge thing.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:41 PM on January 28, 2011

earnt earnt earnt earnt earnt earnt earnt

Personally I look forward to the day when Presidents and Congresscritters will be required to wear their merit sash everytime they appear in media. Help me sort out the Throm Sturmonds and Bichelle Mokmans.
posted by Twang at 8:34 PM on January 28, 2011

earnt earnt earnt earnt earnt earnt earnt

Earnt earnt a word.
           .'          `.
          / P            \
         |    E           |
         |      D         |
         |        A       |
          \         N    /
           `._        T.'
posted by Sys Rq at 1:55 AM on January 29, 2011 [4 favorites]

I need a trophy for enduring the scent of my 15 yr old son's feet. His room smells like death. Slowly rotting mammalian death.
posted by Shike at 5:44 AM on January 29, 2011

also kinky merit badges...

there's a click through to prove you're 18, and it's (somewhat)NSFW
posted by nile_red at 9:06 PM on January 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

...strangers come up and touch his face during flu season and you maintain control.

Heh, new parents.

You want your new child to have as many colds as possible. Otherwise, when they enter school the first year, your entire family will be stricken for 6 months with a near-continuous cold as they catch up. Trust me, I've been there.
posted by DU at 6:58 AM on February 3, 2011

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