Random And Useless Skills
February 1, 2011 9:49 PM   Subscribe

Random and Useless Skills Part One - Part Two - Part Three
posted by wayofthedodo (21 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
So how long have you been friends with Mark?
posted by flatluigi at 10:09 PM on February 1, 2011

Mark Gormley?

I found this strangely endearing.
posted by big friendly giant at 10:27 PM on February 1, 2011 [4 favorites]

My god, he is king of the benign, master of uselessness.
posted by Felex at 10:33 PM on February 1, 2011

posted by I love you more when I eat paint chips at 10:54 PM on February 1, 2011

I really hope he included a VHS with his college applications.
posted by JimmyJames at 10:56 PM on February 1, 2011

Dude spends too much time reading AskMeFi 'how do I meet women?' questions.
posted by mhjb at 11:26 PM on February 1, 2011

I think I'm in love.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 11:34 PM on February 1, 2011

not only is he really good at these things, but he is also good at resisting instinctive body language when he gets it right on the hundredth try.
posted by triceryclops at 11:53 PM on February 1, 2011

I have memorized all the digits of 2 and all the capital letters of all the States (hint: none of them start with X). I can draw an almost perfect map, or at least outline, of Kansas and Colorado. I can operate brake pedals with my hands and kick a hand ball with my foot.

One time I threw a rolled up piece of paper all the way from one end of the room to a wastebasket at the other end of the room and it almost went in.

I can say palindromes backwards just as fast as most people say them forwards. I can balance a ball on the palm of my hand while twirling a loop in my mind. I once counted to a higher number than anyone had ever counted to before, I'm pretty sure.

I just thought you should know.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:47 AM on February 2, 2011 [11 favorites]

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
posted by mosk at 1:36 AM on February 2, 2011

He got pi wrong. 3.14159265358979323846264338327950...he left out the zero. Now if I could just get that number out of my head I'd have a few brain cells so I could remember my wife's cell phone number.
posted by Xoc at 1:57 AM on February 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Alright. Glad that's out there. Check that off the list.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:51 AM on February 2, 2011

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I can juggle six balls, though not all at the same time. I can name all the presidents, because I give them dirty smutty names. My memory is so strong that I can't remember the last time it wasn't. I met the most interesting man in the world and he said "Damn, you're more interesting than I am!" and bought me a beer.

I've translated Shakespeare from English into Farsi and back into English again, without a single mistake; and I have the final translation to prove it. I can eat pigs feet with chopsticks and play Chopsticks with my toes. I once alphabetized the digits of Pi, though not necessarily in that order.

posted by twoleftfeet at 3:14 AM on February 2, 2011

alphabetized the digits of pi....not necessarily in that order

That's a feat.
posted by DU at 4:10 AM on February 2, 2011

Too much time ...

or not enough, I can't decide.

Nice Dutch accent.
posted by rudster at 4:49 AM on February 2, 2011

it is amazing how many skills you can fake with a home camcorder
posted by Flood at 7:05 AM on February 2, 2011

I wonder if this guy actually thinks that any of these "feats" are amazing, or if he thinks that people are stupid enough not to realize that these are all either simple party tricks or achievable with a moment's practice and a handfull of takes.

Either way, this guy reminds me of way too many assholes I've known.
posted by cmoj at 9:30 AM on February 2, 2011

twoleftfeet: I can draw an almost perfect outline of Utah.
posted by madcaptenor at 2:09 PM on February 2, 2011

It's the Douchebag Olympics.
posted by rusty at 5:05 PM on February 2, 2011

posted by ostranenie at 6:49 PM on February 2, 2011

Behind the scenes of the basketball scene in Alien: Resurrection.
posted by ostranenie at 6:58 PM on February 2, 2011

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