A group of users who tested beta versions of the horrendous new MacBook told reporters they were deeply disturbed when their products moaned to indicate a low battery and then snored gently when put to sleep.
"There's all this gelatinous webbing that you have to stick your hand in just to turn it on, and then once you do, it starts, like, yelling for 30 seconds or so," said Shane Brick, a 38-year-old beta tester in San Francisco, adding that he "actually felt kind of bad for it." "The maintenance is ridiculous, too: Once a month it sheds all of its skin, and you need to shave the USB ports every couple days."
"And you definitely cannot look at porn," Brick added. "The thing got really aroused."
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