How much is a Noble Laureate worth?
April 1, 2011 6:34 AM   Subscribe

Snooki's worth more than Toni Morrison, apparently. Toni Morrison is scheduled to deliver this year's Rutger Univerisity commencement speech, for a sum of $30,000. The same school recently paid Snooki of Jersey Shore $32,000 to teach students how to fist pump, and to relay such advice as "study hard, but party harder."
posted by litnerd (104 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
They should just invite their namesake back. His inaugural commencement address was a huge hit.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:39 AM on April 1, 2011 [5 favorites]


It's a free market, bitches! The market wants Snooki.
posted by spicynuts at 6:39 AM on April 1, 2011 [4 favorites]


Worthington's Law
posted by DU at 6:41 AM on April 1, 2011 [5 favorites]


"Noble Laureate"?
posted by brokkr at 6:41 AM on April 1, 2011 [7 favorites]


Ah, good. Western civilization may now close up shop. Remember to take any personal items with you and the last one out, please turn off the lights.
posted by adipocere at 6:42 AM on April 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


My alma mater has a Presidential Lecture Series that has featured speakers such as Benazir Bhuto, Lech Walesa, Desmond Tutu, and F. W. De klerk. The most recent speaker? Evolution denier and teenage girl-perver Ben Stein.

But, yeah, this is worse.
posted by cilantro at 6:42 AM on April 1, 2011 [5 favorites]


worth != demand
posted by oddman at 6:42 AM on April 1, 2011 [4 favorites]


This is another April Fool's joke, right?
posted by caddis at 6:43 AM on April 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


Different sources said different things. Wikipedia said winner, HuffPo said laureate. I took the safe route.
posted by litnerd at 6:43 AM on April 1, 2011


Yeah, but Toni Morrison will go one being famous and well-respected for years, while Snooki will be forgotten about in the nexy few years, if not sooner.
posted by Falconetti at 6:44 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


When I get their alumni bulletin, I'll have to send them this article with a note: "Use the money you have more wisely before asking for more."
posted by zarq at 6:44 AM on April 1, 2011 [26 favorites]


J'accuse, free market.

I cannot believe that I am about to defend a university hiring Snooki to speak to students for $32,000. I really can't. But: there are a lot of reasons that colleges bring in speakers and guests. Sometimes the reason is that you think the speaker might be able to actually teach the students some interesting things, impart some knowledge, touch their lives. Sometimes the reason is that you want the students to feel connected to the university, like it's a fun place to be, so that they have a positive opinion of the school and keep their morale high and maybe later on when they reflect on their college years feel inclined to maybe throw a couple bucks at the alumni association. Guess which of these two speakers fills which of those roles.

Look, another thing that universities pay money to do? Show movies to the kids. Sometimes it's a festival of Italian Realists. Sometimes it's I Know What You Did Last Summer. This is that. You want to get het up about something, get het up about how many more people go to see the dumb teen romp.
posted by penduluum at 6:45 AM on April 1, 2011 [5 favorites]


litnerd: "Different sources said different things. Wikipedia said winner, HuffPo said laureate. I took the safe route."

I'm thinking the question was about "Noble" and not "Laureate."

Spelling: "Nobel"
posted by zarq at 6:46 AM on April 1, 2011


Oh, crap. Sorry. I do know how to spell things. Swear.
posted by litnerd at 6:47 AM on April 1, 2011


I cannot believe that I am about to defend a university hiring Snooki to speak to students for $32,000. I really can't. But: there are a lot of reasons that colleges bring in speakers and guests.

I can't be sure, but it actually sounds like the students raised the $32,000, which would make more sense...
posted by en forme de poire at 6:48 AM on April 1, 2011


Spelling: Rutgers
posted by MsVader at 6:50 AM on April 1, 2011 [3 favorites]


This does have an important lesson to teach us about the decline of society.

Shitty journalism is poisoning everything.
posted by fullerine at 6:52 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Is it April Fool's Day? Yes, yes I think it is.
posted by fixedgear at 6:52 AM on April 1, 2011


litnerd: "14Oh, crap. Sorry. I do know how to spell things. Swear."

Heh. It's fine with me. Heck, I've made much worse typos. :)
posted by zarq at 6:55 AM on April 1, 2011


Sometimes the reason is that you want the students to feel connected to the university, like it's a fun place to be, so that they have a positive opinion of the school and keep their morale high and maybe later on when they reflect on their college years feel inclined to maybe throw a couple bucks at the alumni association. Guess which of these two speakers fills which of those roles.

And this is connected to education... um... how? I was under the weird impression that a universities' whole raison d'être was, in theory, to impart knowledge. I guess now they also need to give their students entertainment and self esteem as well.
posted by Omon Ra at 6:56 AM on April 1, 2011


5-10 years from now Toni Morrison will still pill 30K for a speech (randomfluctuationsof theunivers wiling she is still alive), Snooki will own some bar somewhere. 20-30 years from now Toni Morrison will still be read by millions, and snookie will be a line on a Trivia Pursuit card (screen).
posted by edgeways at 6:58 AM on April 1, 2011


penduluum: "Sometimes the reason is that you want the students to feel connected to the university, like it's a fun place to be, so that they have a positive opinion of the school and keep their morale high and maybe later on when they reflect on their college years feel inclined to maybe throw a couple bucks at the alumni association."

I'm sure that will be a total relief to the alumni who are applying for jobs over the next couple of weeks....

Resume Cover Letter: "As you can see, I've recently graduated from Rutgers College at Rutgers University..."

HR: "Look at this. She went to Snooki U. *snort* NEXT!"
posted by zarq at 6:58 AM on April 1, 2011


Enjoy your Snooki, tax payers of New Jersey.
posted by yerfatma at 6:59 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


I guess now they also need to give their students entertainment and self esteem as well.

Now? Universities have been in the gratuitous entertainment business for quite awhile. Hell, you could argue the entirety of college sports is a waste of time from a university education POV.
posted by edgeways at 7:01 AM on April 1, 2011 [7 favorites]


I can't be sure, but it actually sounds like the students raised the $32,000, which would make more sense...

But doesn't raise my confidence that the next generation will solve the climate crisis, end war, or move out of their parent's houses before they turn forty.
posted by steambadger at 7:01 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Sometimes the reason is that you want the students to feel connected to the university, like it's a fun place to be, so that they have a positive opinion of the school and keep their morale high and maybe later on when they reflect on their college years feel inclined to maybe throw a couple bucks at the alumni association. Guess which of these two speakers fills which of those roles.

So Toni Morrison won't leave the students with a positive opinion of the school or make them feel connected, but the Snookster will? Rutgers must be worse off than I thought.

You want to get het up about something, get het up about how many more people go to see the dumb teen romp.

That war was fought and lost many, many years ago. Nothing to get "het up" about. All Hollywood makes anymore is "teen romps," in one form or another.
posted by blucevalo at 7:01 AM on April 1, 2011


Sometimes the reason is that you want the students to feel connected to the university, like it's a fun place to be, so that they have a positive opinion of the school...

Yeah, that's cool. Back in the day, my college paid money to bring in Alex Chilton, and Hunter Thompson, and even Art Clokey, the guy who created "Gumby".

But dude, this is Snooki.
posted by steambadger at 7:05 AM on April 1, 2011 [3 favorites]


Was admission charged to see Snooki? That seems to be an important thing to know.

Also, as a comparison of worth, Morrison is getting 30k and and honorary degree.
posted by Jahaza at 7:05 AM on April 1, 2011


So Toni Morrison won't leave the students with a positive opinion of the school or make them feel connected, but the Snookster will? Rutgers must be worse off than I thought.

Toni will leave some students with that impression, and Snooki will leave others with that impression. I don't agree with them, but there it is.

People learn better when they're happy. University administrators feel like it is their duty to do more than just educate students. They are trying to create a community, an entire life experience, that will follow the students as they go through the rest of their lives. You can argue about whether bringing Snooki to the school (not, like, forcing anybody to go see her, by the way) adds to that goal or not, but if your question is "aren't universities just there to teach kids?", the answer is "not just, no."
posted by penduluum at 7:09 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


How much is that Snooki in the window?
The one with the waggley tail...

posted by Wolfdog at 7:10 AM on April 1, 2011


But dude, this is Snooki.

Absolutely right. I'm just saying -- I put that on the kids (living in New Jersey, lets keep in mind) who want to see Snooki. That's not the school's fault.
posted by penduluum at 7:10 AM on April 1, 2011


To be fair to Rutgers, the Dog-faced Boy and the Bearded Lady wanted even more.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:13 AM on April 1, 2011 [5 favorites]


Ooh, GRAR! GRAAAAR!
posted by briank at 7:14 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Then again, Toni Morrison is probably not going to be reduced to appearing on "Celebrity Rehab" in the next few years.
posted by bibliowench at 7:22 AM on April 1, 2011


As far as I can tell, she has not actually been hired as a commencement speaker. The student activities organization used its own funds to hire her as a performer/entertainer. My guess is that much of the $32k fee will be recouped by admission charges. This is a pretty standard procedure on college campuses today.

Talk about the media spinning a story completely out of control. I've found precious little accurate/verifiable information on this story, but as somebody who used to book entertainment acts on a college campus, that version of the story makes 500% more sense.

This puts Snooki on the same level as My Chemical Romance, rather than Toni Morrison.

That said, one year we arranged a lecture with Tim Gunn during the spring semester, and he was totally better and more inspirational than our actual commencement speaker that year. He's also easily the kindest and friendliest 'famous person' I've ever worked with.
posted by schmod at 7:23 AM on April 1, 2011 [12 favorites]


"Hey, you kids! Get your fifteen-minute celebrities off my lawn!"
posted by steambadger at 7:23 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've said it before and I'll say it again; capitalism simply doesn't work.

Now, over the years, an economist learns a number of things that for one reason or another, he just cannot report. It doesn't seem to matter now, so...the following people are broke.

*fast scrawl of names including Alan Greenspan, Billy Joel, A-Rod and the Sham Wow guy*
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:28 AM on April 1, 2011


The Daily Targum, the Rutgers student newspaper, had an editorial about this on Wednesday. Actually, there was a previous one as well in early March , and here is an article also from early March. Finally, here is the Targum article about her appearance, published in today's issue.
posted by gudrun at 7:35 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


and even Art Clokey, the guy who created "Gumby"...dammit.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:40 AM on April 1, 2011


Could this be because every public figure less aggressively dumb than Snooki has been claimed as a signifier of stuff-white-people-like cultural snobbery, and thus would be too divisive to invite? I imagine if they invited, say, Dave Eggers or the guy from Neutral Milk Hotel or someone, they'd be the butt of hipster jokes.
posted by acb at 7:41 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


every public figure less aggressively dumb than Snooki has been...
This pool can not possibly be exhausted yet.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:46 AM on April 1, 2011


Thanks! Great Post!!! I have grad degree from Rutgers and get calls weekly for donations. Now I can tell them why they can jump into the sea at Atlantic City beach or get lost in The Pine Barrens.
posted by Postroad at 7:47 AM on April 1, 2011


In related news: 'Jersey Shore' Italy Broadcast Causing Outrage.
posted by ericb at 7:50 AM on April 1, 2011


"Snooki's worth more than Toni Morrison".

The value of snookis marginal product is worth more than Toni's. That is, marginal benefit versus total benefit. Her marginal value may be higher without requiring the same thing for total value. The total value of Toni Morrison is huge. That Nobel being one part of it. Just because something has large total benefits doesn't mean the marginal value will be. There is diminshing returns to everything in life.

Also, Snooki is paid what she is paid, and Toni is paid what she is paid, because of the opportunity costs of each persons time. Just so happens that Snooki is an entertainer with competing uses on her time. Toni Morrison too. They are paid the price that compensated them for sacrificing those alternatives. Not surprisingly, the popular entertainer with broad appeal to college age demographic is paid slightly more.

FWIW, I'm not losing sleep knowing Toni Morrison is "only" making thirty grand a pop. She's far wealthier than I'll ever be and experienced a level of success that few will in history. I hope she sees how fortunate and blessed her life is when as opposed to being jealous of some entertainer.
posted by scunning at 7:52 AM on April 1, 2011


The funny thing is that Snooki isn't even Italian, she actually Chilean.
posted by delmoi at 7:53 AM on April 1, 2011


30K seems a lot to pay even Toni Morrison, and 32K seems like 35k too much to pay Snooki.

On the slightly related subject of Toni Morrison, I have heard anecdotally that she can be rather tough to deal with when it comes to speaking fees. I met someone who did a Creative Writing MFA at Columbia a number of years ago. They were running a fundraiser for a mental institute (or some similar type of institute providing mental/health care) that they were working with -- holding writing workshops for the patients, etc. They invited Morrison to participate as the keynote speaker, but she refused to budge on her (then) 20K speaking fee, even though the point of the event was to raise money for others. I guess being a bestseller & Nobel Laureate goes to one's head.
posted by Saxon Kane at 7:53 AM on April 1, 2011


(Funny in light of Ericb's "Jersy Shore Italy broadcast causing outrage")
posted by delmoi at 7:53 AM on April 1, 2011


When Toni Morrison wrestles at Wrestlemania, she gets the extra two grand.
posted by delfin at 7:56 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


As a British person with a fairly tangential awareness of Snooki I just wanted to ask, is she one of these ironic celebrities we seem to be seeing more of? A bit like Paris Hilton or, maybe more accurately, a sort of American Katie Price? Does anyone else have the sense that there is a trend toward this sort of thing?
posted by howfar at 7:56 AM on April 1, 2011


And a Wall Street financier make more than hundreds of doctors and teachers combined. The system has messed up values, but at least it can justify itself with jargon like "marginal benefit" and "opportunity costs."
posted by Thoughtcrime at 7:57 AM on April 1, 2011


From Snooki's wikipedia page:
Polizzi made an appearance on the March 14, 2011 episode of WWE Raw, where she got into a brawl with LayCool, which led to the formation of a 6-person Mixed Tag Team match set to take place at WrestleMania XXVII in Atlanta, Georgia, involving herself, Trish Stratus & John Morrison against LayCool and Dolph Ziggler.
I'm not sure why but I found the deadpan description of the 'events' hilarious.
posted by delmoi at 8:00 AM on April 1, 2011


You guys assume they value Snooki to the tune of 32k. I assume they enjoy guffawing and the spectacle. I guess they just blew 32k on being ironic.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:03 AM on April 1, 2011


So this instruction in fist pumping, is there video?
posted by BigSky at 8:06 AM on April 1, 2011


On the slightly related subject of Toni Morrison, I have heard anecdotally that she can be rather tough to deal with when it comes to speaking fees.

I imagine Ms. Morrison has a booking agent, and that whoever tried to book Morrison never actually talked to her. Sometimes booking agents are overly aggressive. Sometimes the pricing is intentionally high to deter the flood of requests. Here, for example is what Neil Gaiman's FAQ says about speaking engagements:

Q. How can I get Neil Gaiman to make an appearance at my school/convention/event?
A. Contact Lisa Bransdorf at the Greater Talent Network. Tell her you want Neil to appear somewhere. Have her tell you how much it costs. Have her say it again in case you misheard it the first time. Tell her you could get Bill Clinton for that money. Have her tell you that you couldn't even get ten minutes of Bill Clinton for that money but it's true, he's not cheap.

On the other hand, I'm really busy, and I ought to be writing, so pricing appearances somewhere between ridiculously high and obscenely high helps to discourage most of the people who want me to come and talk to them. Which I could make a full time profession, if I didn't say 'no' a lot.


and as good as Gaiman is, he is not a Nobel winner.
posted by edgeways at 8:11 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Here is Snooki doing somebody's hair at rutgers.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:16 AM on April 1, 2011


seriously, does toni morrison have better advice for today's students than "study hard, but party harder?" - and can she express it in 5 words?

as long as one doesn't define partying as massive ingestion of substances, it's good advice for a fulfilling life
posted by pyramid termite at 8:30 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Snooky has figured out the answer to the ? in the profit system:

1. Be vacuous and annoying
2. Get lucky and find an outlet for those traits
3. Profit!
posted by papercake at 8:36 AM on April 1, 2011


The funny thing is that Snooki isn't even Italian, she actually Chilean.
posted by delmoi at 10:53 AM on April 1 [+] [!]


Excellent, now maybe my nonni can stop spinning in her grave.
posted by thinkpiece at 8:37 AM on April 1, 2011


"I've got an idea! The only things our University is known for nationally is being worse then Princeton and having the Fat Darrell. Let's add 'encourages our students to party harder then they study' to that list. That should help our U.S. News ranking!'" (ironically, of course, it will).
posted by cyphill at 8:39 AM on April 1, 2011


For all my fellow alumni that are using this as an excuse to not donate, enjoy your excuse but please realize it has no merit. Snooki was brought on by a student group, the same group that brings bands for concerts. The funding comes from a surcharge each student pays as well as the revenue brought in by the shows. Snooki had two sold out shows at the Livingston student center, so it's likely this was a profit generator for the group. The student group decides how to spend the funds and what concerts/shows to organize, so withholding a donation for Snooki's appearance is no different than withholding due to an appearance by a rock band. No alumni donations and no tax dollars goes to support this. If they canceled the student group tomorrow, all that would happen is the small surcharge each student pays would stop being charged starting next semester.

But hey, don't let the facts get in your way when it comes to not supporting higher ed.
posted by Crash at 8:39 AM on April 1, 2011 [14 favorites]


The funny thing is that Snooki isn't even Italian, she actually Chilean Oompa-Loompan.

The more you know...
posted by owtytrof at 8:40 AM on April 1, 2011 [5 favorites]


Whoa, so you're saving that popular people are more popular?

DUDE!
posted by blue_beetle at 8:40 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


But doesn't raise my confidence that the next generation will solve the climate crisis, end war, or move out of their parent's houses before they turn forty.

I know you're being snarky, but as someone who works for an environmental advocacy organization, and works with youth climate activists, I'm actually pretty confident that the next generation will actually solve the climate crisis.

(Note: the event I linked to is not put on by the group I work for, just a great example of the youth climate movement)
posted by lunasol at 9:02 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Can we complain about the Star Ledger, please? This was their huge front page story today. It dwarfed all other content you see on the front page.

Another favorite of mine was when they had a similar huge front page story about a guy at Bell Labs who "invented" a new cell phone antenna that can go on the side of a building instead of on a towers. Upon reading the article, you find out what happened was he proposed such a device could theoretically exist, and then a person overseas (German, IIRC) actually designed and built it, making it hardly an invention from New Jersey. They didn't even mention the real inventor's name.

Also, they like to cash in on the Chris Christie hate. I don't like the guy, either, but they're really obnoxious about it. One time, their big cover story was an article about how the NJ GOP was... making money by selling Chris Christie t-shirts and other apparel, mostly out of state. It's an interesting story about how our governor is massively popular out of state, especially with Tea Partiers, but it's not really a big story. I can guarantee bigger things happened at the state and national level that day.
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:04 AM on April 1, 2011


yeah... I have plenty of friends who work with youth, and most of them are really positive about these kids. I don't want to oversell it, but they may be our best hope to date. As long as we can manage to avoid fucking everything up (more) before that point.
posted by edgeways at 9:08 AM on April 1, 2011


In related news: 'Jersey Shore' Italy Broadcast Causing Outrage.

Given the borderline-pornographic values of the media in Berlusconi's Italy, I imagine that's only ascribable to jealousy at not having come up with Jersey Shore first.
posted by acb at 9:13 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


What a joke. Rutgers is actually the prestigious state school here. My tax dollars at work.
posted by tremspeed at 9:16 AM on April 1, 2011


I hate our freedoms.
posted by brand-gnu at 9:18 AM on April 1, 2011 [3 favorites]


But doesn't raise my confidence that the next generation will solve the climate crisis, end war, or move out of their parent's houses before they turn forty.

So can I assume that you are part of the generation that destroyed the climate, started the war and let their kids live in their house until they are 40?

It's ok, I bear responsibility for these things as well, I just expect people to have fun sometimes and not solve all my problems. And as mentioned above, this was probably a profit generator for the group that brought Snooki in.
posted by roquetuen at 9:19 AM on April 1, 2011 [4 favorites]


ok, whatever. PLEASE just put toni morrison on an episode of jersey shore.
posted by tremspeed at 9:21 AM on April 1, 2011 [4 favorites]


On the slightly related subject of Toni Morrison, I have heard anecdotally that she can be rather tough to deal with when it comes to speaking fees.

Also anecdotally, I seem to remember a lot of students/faulty at Princeton complaining about Morrison abusing her celebrity status while she was on the faculty there, and that she contributed little to the university apart from putting the name of a Nobel Prize winner on their rolls.

Mind you, it's not half as bad as when my (public) Alma Mater's writer in residence used his residency to write a book that did little except to gush about how great the Ivy League was, while desperately attempting to mimic Dan Brown. Christ, what an asshole.
posted by schmod at 9:22 AM on April 1, 2011


My tax dollars at work.


This is not your tax dollars at work. The students paid for it. From the Star-Ledger article:

The Rutgers University Programming Association paid the reality star using the mandatory student activity fees undergraduates must pay with their tuition.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 9:23 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


fair enough.

but the mandatory fees are $2,400 per year. i'd be pretty pissed to have to spend that money if i were a student there. to put it into perspective for people from other states, IN-STATE tuition at this school (with the fees) is already over $12,000 and rising without housing.
posted by tremspeed at 9:34 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also anecdotally, I seem to remember a lot of students/faulty at Princeton complaining about Morrison abusing her celebrity status while she was on the faculty there, and that she contributed little to the university apart from putting the name of a Nobel Prize winner on their rolls.

The truth comes out. I am glad we are done with worshipping at the alter of hollow celebrity. Sure she won some sort of prize back in the 70s or something but where has she been lately. Oh, thats right, looking at her page on IMDB she wrote something in 1998 and was in a documentary last year. That fact that such a has been can command 30k per speech is sickening.

If I were a New Jersey resident I would demand Rutgers be de-funded before they waste any more money.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:44 AM on April 1, 2011


NJ contributes 20.8% of Rutgers' budget: http://budgetfacts.rutgers.edu/. I believe this is pretty low compared to other state schools.

Not that it matters, students selected and paid for Snooki.
posted by armacy at 9:50 AM on April 1, 2011


"I'm not looking for another girl i'm just looking for a new New Jersey" - Titus Andronicus

My best college memory is seeing Atom & His Package.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:55 AM on April 1, 2011


Can I amuse you with a funny story?
When I was at Rutgers, got call from a newspaper in the North of the state. The idea was that for a subscription part of the money would go to a cancer cause.
Phone rings: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CANCER?
Me: GENERALLY, I DISAPPROVE OF IT.
call ended.

THERE is so much crap going on everywhere that this is but one more example of it. How much does the coach make? The President of the school? What percentage of the students come from out of state and why so many so that in-state families, paying taxes, can not get their kids in but must ship their children out of state?
What percentage of faculty adjuncts, part-time teachers without benefits?
Why can a student live in the state for a number of years in most colleges and still not be allowed to vote if he comes from a different state?
and on and on....but this all leads to strong doses of this or that for a calming effect.
posted by Postroad at 9:58 AM on April 1, 2011


So, prior to my knowing anything about Jersey Shore my coworker was like, something something something 'The Situation.'

Me: The situation was what now?

Coworker: He was ordering a pizza.

Me: Who was.

Coworker: The Situation.

Me. Oookayyy -- (starts daydreaming about random shit)

Coworker: And then the pizzeria gave him a hard time because of his name.

Me: WHOSE name.

Coworker: The situation.

Anyway, now The Situation is going to be in Philly at the new casino. He was sort of waving his fists in the ad, which I took to be preparation for fist-bumping the gambling addicts, or something.

And that is all I have to say about this post.

Coworker: And then the pizzeria gave him a hard time because
posted by angrycat at 10:00 AM on April 1, 2011


feeling really proud of my alma mater right now...um, go scarlet knights. yeah...
posted by supermedusa at 10:02 AM on April 1, 2011


Obviously Toni Morrison's main fault was not leveraging her brand after getting her movie optioned by Oprah. She should have demanded Oprah give her her own talk show, she should have written a children's book (get those kids hooked when they are young), gotten a really excellent publicist, started a fashion line, recorded a country album, made tee shirts, started a web community, etc. She could have taken up painting or pottery and sold her wares.

I could buy Beloved for $0.01 used on Amazon.com. Soon, I could buy Snookie's book for the same price. But I'm pretty sure Snookie will start her own fashion line for tiny loud girls.
posted by anniecat at 10:19 AM on April 1, 2011


30K seems a lot to pay even Toni Morrison

Scratch the even.

In my innocence, even at my advanced age I had never imagined that commencement speakers got anything other than expenses.

To accept and even to expect money for this kind of gig is to my mind pretty squalid, only slightly better than expecting money to show up to, say, an ASPCA fund raiser.

Trashy, trashy behavior.
posted by IndigoJones at 10:19 AM on April 1, 2011


I just expect people to have fun sometimes and not solve all my problems.

They're not likely to be my problems, at least not for more than another quarter-century or so; I'm hoping the next generation can solve them for their sake. And, yes, I was just being snarky -- I have two nieces getting ready for college, and they're both amazingly smart and energetic and caring, and so are their friends. So I'm hopeful.

They sure do watch a lot of swill on their goldanged computing machines, though.
posted by steambadger at 10:41 AM on April 1, 2011


How far would the University go in letting students select a speaker?

I bet the students could sell out a speech by a porn star. But something tells me that the university would have a problem with a porn lecture. What a drug dealer?

Is there no point at which the university says to the students, bringing this person here is against the public image of the school.

Rutgers should be ashamed that they had a speaker, Snooki, who advised their students to "party harder". So much for all that responsible alcohol non-sense the university is all talking about.
posted by Flood at 11:03 AM on April 1, 2011


Sometimes money is not an accurate indicator of worth.
posted by fignewton at 11:03 AM on April 1, 2011


But something tells me that the university would have a problem with a porn lecture.

Google "Yale Sex Week".
posted by Jahaza at 11:06 AM on April 1, 2011


but the mandatory fees are $2,400 per year. i'd be pretty pissed to have to spend that money if i were a student there. to put it into perspective for people from other states, IN-STATE tuition at this school (with the fees) is already over $12,000 and rising without housing.

At my Alma Mater (William & Mary in VA), we paid approximately $3k in student fees per year. Somewhat unusually (I actually don't know of any other schools that do this), we publicly provide an exact breakdown of that fee. Essentially, it pays for some capital improvements, and every other non-academic aspect of the college, including student activities, the health center, counseling services, utilities, and intercollegiate athletics. Student activities make up a teeny, tiny portion of that fee ($50-$100 depending on how you look at it, and less than a quarter of it goes toward entertainment). Intercollegiate athletics cost each student $705 per semester, plus another ~$200 for operations and debt service on facilities reserved for intercollegiate athletic use only. That's $1800/year for NCAA athletics, out of a $3,000 total fee.

Tangentially related, and worth noting: Intramural and recreational sports, which approximately ~85% of students participated in cost each person $150/year.

Naturally, attempts to directly include this breakdown on tuition bills have failed, and our sports teams are embarrassingly bad.

So, yeah. I could care less about Snooki being paid $32,000 for performing in front of a sold-out concert hall, when lowest paid college football coach in the NCAA makes $140,000, even when his team loses game after game in front of an empty stadium. (You really don't want to know what the top guy gets paid.)


Don't complain about student activities fees. They're very very low, and generally offer an excellent value for the amount paid. On the other hand, complain about the outlandish cost of intercollegiate athletics (with virtually zero societal benefit for that investment), and the fact that most public colleges across the country completely and entirely failed to invest in (or maintain) their infrastructure and physical plant between 1970 and 2000, which helped to fuel the exponentially-rising cost of education over the past decade, as many of those facilities fell into unsalvagable disrepair (not unlike the sad state of our country's transportation and utility infrastructure).

Also, to respond to another poster, NJ's 20% contribution to Rutgers actually seems high compared to what Virginia has been contributing to its universities. Essentially, they partially subsides in-state tuition, and chip in on some capital improvement projects that directly benefit the state (ie. the Education school). I believe their total subsidy of W&M's operations was in the range of 5% last year.

Sorry if this is derail-y and specific to my own experiences, but if we're going to turn this into a discussion about student fees, a little perspective and context is necessary to understand the overall picture.
posted by schmod at 11:30 AM on April 1, 2011 [3 favorites]


But I'm pretty sure Snookie will start her own fashion line for tiny loud girls.

Done.

Be sure to check out the enticing and alluring website: Jersey Shore Merchandise, featuring products of all of your favorite Guidos and Guidettes!
posted by ericb at 11:31 AM on April 1, 2011


You, too, can book Snooki for an appearance. She's available for "Corporate Appearances, Endorsements, Speaking & Autograph Signings." Just contact her agents at Celebrity Talent Promotions.
posted by ericb at 11:39 AM on April 1, 2011


Good gravy, the "get off my lawn" in this thread is ridiculous.

Yes, Snooki is stupid, but seriously: so what? These kids have just finished busting their asses for four years, and they have a pretty limited time to be with their friends where they don't have ulcer-inducing levels of stress, either from school or the rat race they're about to jump into. There's nothing a commencement speaker -- ANY commencement speaker -- is going to tell them that will be of profound value at this point. The education is over. If they want to drink and screw and get high and have pseudo-celebrities yell "Woooo!" into a microphone, then good for them. I hope they enjoy it while it lasts.

Frame of reference: my graduation ceremony from Rutgers was the same day Star Wars: Episode I came out. I went to the first possible showing that morning and got to graduation late. I then proceeded to sleep through most of the speeches. What I do remember, twelve years later, is having a great time with my closest friends, sitting in that movie theater, in a row so that our T-shirts spelled out "May the Force be with you." What I don't remember is who the fuck my commencement speaker even was.

TL;DR: the kids are all right. The grouchy old people, however, are assholes.
posted by Amanojaku at 11:41 AM on April 1, 2011 [6 favorites]


There's nothing a commencement speaker -- ANY commencement speaker -- is going to tell them ...

FWIW -- Snooki wasn't on the Rutgers' campus for a commencement speech. She was there for two student-sponosred shows.
posted by ericb at 11:45 AM on April 1, 2011


FWIW -- Snooki wasn't on the Rutgers' campus for a commencement speech. She was there for two student-sponosred shows.

I know; I was kind of arguing against the strawman that keeps getting propped up, in spite of people repeatedly pointing out its fallacy. The "student-sponsored shows" point should really moot the Snooki-outrage completely. But yes, you're right.
posted by Amanojaku at 11:53 AM on April 1, 2011


you couldn't even get ten minutes of Bill Clinton for that money

*snicker*
posted by ryanrs at 11:54 AM on April 1, 2011 [1 favorite]


> Yes, Snooki is stupid, but seriously: so what?

You have a point. My uni grad speaker was some pompous old windbag who included the parable of The Ant and The Grasshopper in his snooze-inducing speech*. Might as well make it something for everyone to remember, one way or another. Something similar to this (in tone if not in content) would have been nice.

* disclaimer: I was hung over and would have been late for the ceremony if my parents hadn't woken me up and I hadn't been living a five minute walk away from the auditorium.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:09 PM on April 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


Google "Yale Sex Week".

In related news: Feds investigate sex harassment complaints at Yale.
posted by ericb at 2:37 PM on April 1, 2011


Hi there, I'm a lecture agent and I work with college campuses.

a) Student money - student decisions. I'll confirm that one of the most important criteria students use when selecting a speaker is the expected attendance. It doesn't matter how wonderful your speaker is if no one comes to see them talk.

b) Some of the other things students bring to campus with these funds are: hypnotists, bands, caricature artists, build-a-bear workshops, comedians, wax hands, balloon animals, oxygen bars, touring massage chairs, inflatable outdoor movie screens, and machines that put your picture on a chocolate lollipop. And yes, sometimes, speakers who talk about diversity, human rights, civil rights, politics, art, sexual harassment, time management, peace activism, film-making, etc., etc., etc.

c) Prominent speakers are deluged with requests for pro bono work. They could fill the calendar with speaking events for the benefit of great causes. Every speaking event is time stolen from creative time, relaxation time, time with family and friends. My guess is that Ms. Morrison does a number of pro bono and cut-fee speaking events every year. Probably for charities and causes that she has a personal connection with. If you think speakers should come speak for free, you are saying that the value of their time is zero.

d) Schools have porn stars come to speak on campus ALL THE TIME. A fairly popular event is Ron Jeremy's Porn Debate. I work with a playboy playmate who does AIDS education. There's a very popular Female Orgasm workshop. Free speech guidelines apply here. A private school, particularly one with a religious mandate, can exercise more control over the types of events that take place on campus and many are not open to this type of event. But a public school, that accepts public money, is in a much more delicate position legally when it comes to deciding what speakers and events students can bring to campus with student funds.
posted by bq at 3:21 PM on April 1, 2011 [2 favorites]


Everything pointed out in the last few posts is true. Nobody cares who their commencement speaker is. Kids want to have fun -- as they should. Students have invited questionable speakers to campus for as long as there have been campuses -- I think my student activity fees actually paid for Gordon Liddy one time, and vapidity is certainly preferable to actual evil. No students were harmed in the presentation of this event. All true.

But... it's SNOOKI!
posted by steambadger at 7:48 PM on April 1, 2011




NJ support of higher ed. Follow the links to the pdf's about state rankings per person and per income. The reality is that as NJ increased its budget from $20 billion to $30+ billion, contributions to RU have fallen almost $100 million. As pointed out, no tax dollars or alumni contributions were used here< but people will use this as an excuse to withhold funds/donations. NJ doesn't deserve Rutgers University.
posted by Crash at 8:40 AM on April 2, 2011


Some more info...

Toni Morrison cut her fee in half to speak at RU:
"[She}pointedly noted that she usually gets double her $30,000 Rutgers fee for appearances, but "I have some nostalgia about Rutgers because I used to teach there so, in effect, I cut my fee in half."

And the whole $32k does not go to Snooki:

"Rutgers brass rushed to defend the decision to hire Snooki, saying no taxpayer money was involved and she was brought in only as an entertainment act. Also, not all the money will go to Snooki -- some will go to Ace (the comedian who appeared with Snooki) and to booking fees."

Finally, a quick search online shows Snooki made appearances at James Madison, Wake Forest, Pennn College of Technology, & SUNY-Binghamton University. NYU law students tried to book Snooki, and I'm sure there are more and more to come. Pauly D appeared at Susquehanna, and I'm sure other cast members are also showing up at colleges.

The Star Ledger is facing declining revenue, and is veering closer and closer to becoming a tabloid as they try to create buzz.
posted by Crash at 9:19 AM on April 2, 2011


Crash's quotes are culled from this New York Post article.
The pen is not mightier than the fist pump.

"Jersey Shore" hairspray junkie Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi proved that in the Garden State, it's better to be a drunken guidette than a Nobel Prize winner when she was paid $32,000 Thursday to speak at Rutgers University -- $2,000 more than acclaimed writer Toni Morrison will get for this year's commencement address.

The bouffanted beach bimbo's fee came out of student- activity funds for her appearance at two Q&A shows at which she dropped meat balls of wisdom, such as "When you're tan, you feel better about your self," and "Study hard, but party harder."

Meanwhile, Morrison will get only $30,000 to talk before some 50,000 people at the state school's graduation this year.

When asked about the situation by The Post, Pulitzer winner Morrison, 80, dismissed Snooki's higher fee, saying, "I don't know her . . . and I don't care."

The "Song of Solomon" author also pointedly noted that she usually gets double her $30,000 Rutgers fee for appearances, but "I have some nostalgia about Rutgers because I used to teach there so, in effect, I cut my fee in half."

Snooki appeared at two free shows Thursday night at the Livingston campus. Comedian Adam Ace acted as moderator while Snooki regaled the crowed with tales, including how she was cast on "Jersey Shore" after competing in a best-guidette contest at a bar.

Wearing a gold headband, she teased and styled one woman's hair in her famous "poof," saying, "The poof is its own living style."

Later, when a man came onstage and did a wild dance, she exclaimed, "What the f--k!"

Snooki's hefty fee was initially kept hush-hush by the student organization that hired her. When the price was revealed yesterday, some students fumed.

"I shouldn't have to pay her out of my pocket to put on a show for a bunch of easily led automatons who think this is entertaining," said economics major Pauline Bak, 19. "It's embarrassing."

Rutgers brass rushed to defend the decision to hire Snooki, saying no taxpayer money was involved and she was brought in only as an entertainment act. Also, not all the money will go to Snooki -- some will go to Ace and to booking fees.
Videos of Snooki's act showed the crowd cheering and laughing. But yesterday, few of the students who attended the show wanted to admit they had a good time.

"My friend thought we would be able to drink at the show because Snooki was there, but when we had to watch this sober it felt like we got conned," said Nicole Reich, 21.

Mara Gahrmann, 18, claimed her friends dragged her there and said, "I don't care at all about Snooki. We get such great talent here all the time like, Spike Lee and Toni Morrison," Gahrmann said. "Snooki just talked about bronzer and hooking up on TV. And then we watched a girl get her hair done in a Snooki poof. It wasn't exactly riveting."

Last night the boardwalk bubblehead seemed to be taking the criticism in stride, tweeting: "So much talk about me today Jeeze, keep it comin'!"
posted by ericb at 1:59 PM on April 2, 2011


FOX News: Defending Snooki's Rutgers Gig [video | 04:00].
posted by ericb at 2:03 PM on April 2, 2011


To be fair to Toni Morrison, and speaking as someone who has actually met her (as a visiting professor in my African American lit class), she was a fantastic, open, engaging educator. And one of the dozen or so specific conversations I remember having with any faculty member throughout my entire undergraduate education. So I hope she got paid a chunk for coming to our university.

And as a professor now, I think she's well within her rights to ask to get paid for speaking engagements. As for the exact amount, well, maybe it makes up for the pay-your-own-way talks she likely had to give for years in order to get where she finally is, professionally-speaking. Arguing about what TM gets paid to be a speaker in the current US economic situation really just comes across as sour grapes and envy. How many of you have written some of the most amazing books of the twentieth century?
posted by obliquicity at 9:51 PM on April 3, 2011


These kids have just finished busting their asses for four years

Ok, clearly you've never been near Rutgers.
posted by tremspeed at 10:53 AM on April 4, 2011


Snookinomics: Profits From a Tan.
posted by ericb at 4:16 PM on April 10, 2011


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