Which of shape is insane? The Pierly/Redford Dissociative Affect Diagnostic
April 6, 2011 11:28 AM   Subscribe

"This is an exploration of your brain's affective response system. Nonverbal, emotional reactions to shape tableau will target the portion of your brain that is intuitive and pre-lingual. The associated questions should be answered without tying theses shapes to any narrative or storyline.... There are 20 questions. Your answers will be tabulated at the end and your responses measured against our reference group. Take the test." [warning: blinky]
posted by filthy light thief (184 comments total) 25 users marked this as a favorite
 
The excerpted language from the introduction reads as follows:
These shapes are based on neutral linkage maps from the brains of reptiles and primitive mammals, ancestors to mankind. Associated questions have been culled from the communication methodologies of those with dissociative personality disorder in order tp probe the link between emotional understanding and language.
The flash-based test is hosted on Richard Horton's portfolio site, which shows no other signs of inclination towards an interest in the mapping of neural links, nor a hint at who Pierly and Redford might be. Searches for the names or this diagnostic turn up many blogs, Tumblrs and the like that have posted links to the test, nothing more.

In short, I have no idea what any of it means. Enjoy.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:30 AM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I find something about the whole thing emotionally disturbing. I wasn't able to finish the test.
posted by MythMaker at 11:34 AM on April 6, 2011 [7 favorites]


Handy in the real world manipulation of objects and events, you are easily enthused by practical projects. You often ignore or conveniently forget rules and boundaries that limit your freedom. This need for freedom extends even to the personal sphere and though you are kind and gentle, you will often be hard to pin down to a monogamous lifestyle. Because you tend to verbalize so seldom, you can be seen as phlegmatic or impassive. In moments of high tension you can often surprise those around you with a lighthearted or humorous remark. Because of your facility with the physical world, you are often engaged in sports that require dexterity, such as motorcycling or hang gliding. You will rarely have time for flights of fancy or unproductive discussion. Constraints on your freedom will be regarded as a personal attack.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:34 AM on April 6, 2011


Feh
posted by ahimsakid at 11:36 AM on April 6, 2011


Verbally and mentally fluid, you are refreshing and illuminating to those around you. This is occasionally somewhat discounted by the obvious pleasure that you take in exercising your mental acuity. Although generally peaceful you can often take a verbally aggressive tact in relations with the world, which can often be misunderstood by those around you. Innovative in the extreme, you can often think yourself right out of the correct answer to a given problem. Many times you are referred to as your own worst enemy. You tire very quickly of routine and so make poor clerks or administrative help. You also have no respect for authority and little patience for those you regard as inferior, most especially those in charge. Experimentation is your watchword and can occasionally lead to experience for its own sake and shallow decadence. Your thought can sometimes be scattered and disconnected.

While this does describe me, to the frequent irritation of others and occasionally to my own frustration, it seems to be one of those collections of vague descriptors that will induce anyone to say "Hey, that's me!".
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 11:36 AM on April 6, 2011 [12 favorites]


You reach out to the world and pull in experiences of all forms and kinds. Spontaneous, immediate and active, you have a natural tendency to win, whether this is in the business world or on the freeway. In the right context this can be a positive encouragement to those around you. In the wrong context it can lead to a pathetic display of ego and misplaced pride. You are always on the prowl for clues as to how to win. Usually this behavior is unconscious or playful but the sense of play can rapidly disappear if you are found to be losing in the aforementioned contest. Only those who don’t compete are met with derision. You love to be the center of attention. The moment at hand is always of prime concern. Worries about the future or the past, or abstract discussions of philosophical matters are something for others to concern themselves with. Emotions are fleeting and often used as tactics.

You had me until you said I don't like abstract discussions of philosophical matters...
posted by rich at 11:36 AM on April 6, 2011


My mother? Let me tell you about my mother.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:37 AM on April 6, 2011 [25 favorites]


Thoughtful to the extreme, you are often obsessed with perfection and the rules governing your own personal interests. Your world is black and white. You love to work within a logical system, such as language, computer programming, or mathematics. Manipulating a system that can be completely understood is a distinct pleasure to you, because of your confidence in the underlying veracity of your belief system. Because of your appreciation for logic and order, those who speak or think in a sloppy manner are apt to generate more than their share of wrath. Although very amiable, you are not drawn to friendships out of a sense of personal need. You are just as happy by yourself with a good book or puzzle. Because you are so involved with thought, you will on occasion have difficulty dealing with the day-to-day problems of a normal life. Taking out the trash, doing the dishes, these are often left until the last possible moment, if at all.

*eyes sink full of dishes*
posted by ofthestrait at 11:37 AM on April 6, 2011 [12 favorites]


Well, *that* was weird.

Quiet and very self-assured, you tend to keep your own council. Pragmatic and practical to a fault, you are not one to worry about the finer points of philosophical discourse. In fact, because you are very much an individualist, you often finds yourself at odds with the established truth or the wishes of the majority. You will often earn the wrath of an employer by taking upon yourself decisions which are rightly those of your manager. You are not one to take credit unless it is deserved. Similarly however, you will also not happily give credit where it is not due. In a romantic relationship you can be very frustrating. While you do care deeply and sincerely, and are willing to work at a relationship, your confidence in your own abilities can on occasion make it difficult to see the world from a partner’s point of view. Quiet and stoic at times, you can drive a more emotional individual completely up the wall. You can become overstressed and fatigued without knowing it. Taking time to rest between bouts of hard work can help to prevent a breakdown later on.
posted by jasper411 at 11:38 AM on April 6, 2011


You are in a perpetual quest to find the new, the exciting. Emotionally volatile, you are known for sudden changes of opinion, of appreciation, and behavior. Following rules and established methods is difficult for you and the difficulties of higher education are usually quite daunting. Knowledge is best gained through an intimate association with the matter at hand. Usually driven by attitudes and desires of the group, you are talented in an established field of endeavor. Emotions come and go without a strong understanding of their causes. They are unexpected guests in an otherwise placid landscape. You live by your own codes of conduct, which can be noble or terrible depending on the individual. Authority is meaningless to you. You hate to be predictable, at all costs. Rarely verbally effusive, you can at times feel as if your feelings are too deep for words. You are very observant, but rarely express these observations to others.

Um, What?
posted by Cookbooks and Chaos at 11:38 AM on April 6, 2011


I'm tempted to map the responses to the "tabulations" (which would take a while), or simply try to break apart the flash applet and read the code.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:38 AM on April 6, 2011


My mother? Let me tell you about my mother.

Why aren't you helping the blurry trapezoid, Blazecock?
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:39 AM on April 6, 2011 [27 favorites]


I had the same result as Faint Of Butt, but I agree with Mythmaker. Something about it became very disturbing at one point. It takes a lot to creep me out, so I really enjoyed this.
posted by Weighted Companion Cube at 11:39 AM on April 6, 2011 [9 favorites]


This was a pointless exercise, pseudoscientific nonsense, and probably some viral gobbledygook for a band/show/movie.

That said, I feel like I got a weird glimpse into what it would be like to be schizophrenic, and react to commonplace or inanimate objects with thoughts of "How will this betray me?"
posted by hincandenza at 11:39 AM on April 6, 2011 [22 favorites]


I guessed on the first question, which I didn't understand at all, and the next question was pretty much identical. The combination of my utter lack of comprehension and that insanely annoying flickering were my reasons for stopping, and I feel pretty good about them.
posted by mhoye at 11:39 AM on April 6, 2011


I am prepared to be amazed if this is not complete 100% made up bullshit.
posted by I Foody at 11:39 AM on April 6, 2011 [12 favorites]


I thought this would be some synaesthesic Kiki/Bouba thing, but it ended up feeling pretty disturbing (and a little like viral marketing for something). And the description at the end didn't fit me at all.

I wonder who put this together? It should be at a .edu address by the way it's described, but "hypnoid.com" doesn't inspire much confidence, nor does the stuff at the homepage.
posted by Rhaomi at 11:40 AM on April 6, 2011


This was a pointless exercise, pseudoscientific nonsense, and probably some viral gobbledygook for a band/show/movie.

I'm pretty sure it was meant to be art. Kinda digging the fact that so many are taking it literally.
posted by muddgirl at 11:40 AM on April 6, 2011 [6 favorites]


Based on my results, I think the test works to define the exact opposite of who one is.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:40 AM on April 6, 2011


I think if you were disturbed by it instead of amused, that may say something about you.
posted by blargerz at 11:41 AM on April 6, 2011


At the end, there's an email link: rhortx@gmail.com. I didn't send the email.
posted by muddgirl at 11:41 AM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I found the final analysis about me to be about 35% flat out wrong, and the rest couched in enough vague generic astrological woo-speak that it has no validity whatsoever.

Are the scientologists revising the Oxfaord Capacity Analysis?
posted by Xoebe at 11:42 AM on April 6, 2011


If you were a Pokemon, you would be: Clefairy!
posted by theodolite at 11:42 AM on April 6, 2011 [9 favorites]


Oxford. There is no a.
posted by Xoebe at 11:42 AM on April 6, 2011


Huh. Well, the description it delivered to me was pretty much on target, and reading some of the other descriptions others have gotten and posted here, they certainly wouldn't describe me. So, whether it is based on anything or not, it's amusing.

And rather eye-confusing.
posted by hippybear at 11:43 AM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


VERY weird.

Handy in the real world manipulation of objects and events, you are easily enthused by practical projects. You often ignore or conveniently forget rules and boundaries that limit your freedom. This need for freedom extends even to the personal sphere and though you are kind and gentle, you will often be hard to pin down to a monogamous lifestyle. Because you tend to verbalize so seldom, you can be seen as phlegmatic or impassive. In moments of high tension you can often surprise those around you with a lighthearted or humorous remark. Because of your facility with the physical world, you are often engaged in sports that require dexterity, such as motorcycling or hang gliding. You will rarely have time for flights of fancy or unproductive discussion. Constraints on your freedom will be regarded as a personal attack.

Exactly the same response as Faint of Butt received, which is highly suspicious.

And this has got to be among the most inaccurate descriptions of me, based on a quiz, that I have ever seen.

*FAILBUZZER SOUND*
posted by Quiplash at 11:43 AM on April 6, 2011


You are Squirtle. Cheerful but often withdrawn, you recede into your shell when things get difficult, but you're not unwilling to whip your tail around when you need to show someone who's boss. You live inside a small ball-shaped prison.
posted by cortex at 11:44 AM on April 6, 2011 [21 favorites]


I'm with mhoye here. Unanswerable questions about irritating visuals.

omg so subversive
posted by uncleozzy at 11:45 AM on April 6, 2011


Which FPP wants to hurt you?
posted by milestogo at 11:45 AM on April 6, 2011 [13 favorites]


Thirding what Mythmaker and Weighted Companion Cube said. Somehow, about halfway down the line, it became very...yeah, "disturbing" is a good word.

That said, I don't think this is a real psychological test. I got that same feeling reading some of the other results--that the results it churns out could fit nearly anybody. The question is, is it pretending to be legit in order to swindle the occasional passerby, or is this viral marketing? Maybe an ARG?

Maybe if you send an e-mail, you get some sort of automated response back, and the whole adventure begins.

...Or maybe not. I'm not sending an e-mail.

Oh, wait, you're not supposed to hyphenate it anymore, huh.
posted by KChasm at 11:45 AM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


It 'diagnosed' me as a superficial extrovert, whereas I'm an over-analytical bean-plating introvert. Do not want.
posted by monotreme at 11:46 AM on April 6, 2011


Seriously? A failbuzzer?

I will, with 100% confidence, state that the final analysis has little or nothing to do with the answers given, or is so trivial as to not matter either way.
posted by muddgirl at 11:46 AM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


but, yes, it knew I like math.

To be honest, I kind of enjoyed the bizarre questions.
posted by milestogo at 11:46 AM on April 6, 2011


Posting my result for bookkeeping purposes, since it doesn't look like anyone's gotten it yet. I'm kind of impressed that there are so many, since they all read like new age horoscope crap and are probably all equally "accurate"/"inaccurate".

Though quiet on the outside, you are often the hidden hero; someone who rushes in when needed and then after the emergency is over fades back into the woodwork. Because of this sense of duty and honor, you can also on occasion be rigid in your viewpoint and unyielding in the face of other ways of thinking. Usually cynical and rarely trusting of others, you maintain a small set of intimate friends. These bonds are stronger than most. You are always grounded in the present moment. Your close bonds can also lead to clique-ishness and a tendency to gossip about those who are deemed less worthy. You are an integrative thinker, collecting data from a wide range of sources and applying it to your worldview. You can become overly task-oriented. In stressful situations you often withdraw from the world to seek peace in contemplation. You often seem cold and withdrawn. Often you will withdraw rather than verbalize your discontent.
posted by phunniemee at 11:47 AM on April 6, 2011


This is very obviously a art project spoof of personality tests. The end results are so broad that they can be applied to every single person alive and still be 80% accurate. Look at the root site http://www.hypnoid.com/ and it's clear that this is an amusing joke, and not some deep analysis of your psyche (or at least, not an accredited one, heh).
posted by FatherDagon at 11:47 AM on April 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


You are not easily impressed by vaguely flattering cold readings, but you do find the readers' ability to make their broadly applicable platitudes sound personal and specific when combined into strings. You find that you are rather receptive to fuzzy and pulsating colors, especially dark ones, as they remind you of taking mushrooms with friends and watching screen savers, an activity which is far more pleasant than the more-or-less doomed grant revisions with which you have been assigned to spend your day. Though you were saddened to realize that the large fuschia triangle felt inherently more sinful than the three tiny white ones, you do quite like the idea that an arrow pointing at roughly four o'clock might know your secrets. Frankly, you wish that had unburdened yourself to such an arrow sooner. The idea that a either a hot pink bar or a string of small white circles might be insane makes you almost giddy, because having had only about two hours of sleep in the last twenty-four, it is utterly, gigglingly, splashingly, obvious to you that THEY BOTH ARE.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 11:48 AM on April 6, 2011 [50 favorites]


I think the real thing this test accomplished is to draw out my latent psychosis by planting the idea that neutral abstract shapes harbor a malevolent, sick, secret evil. Yes, I wouldn't say I'm disturbed by the questions so much as very disquieted.
posted by naju at 11:49 AM on April 6, 2011 [7 favorites]


You have a poetic sensibility and an ability to see beyond the day to day. You often seem to be living in a higher realm, or to be not-of-this-earth. Occasionally you imagine interior lives for friends and associates that are near-complete fabrications based on your fears or hopes for the future. You are often not aware of your own feelings. You have a strong sense of right and wrong, and because of this are often disappointed. Despite what can sometimes be a destructive inward-turning anger, you are very gentle. You are sometimes a bit out of touch with the ebb and flow of modern life. If your behavior is out of synch with your moral values, a severe psychic disturbance can result. Because connectivity is so important to you, you can become quiet and sulky if you feel that others around do not understand your point of view.

Nope, nope, nope. Yep, yep, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
posted by gaspode at 11:49 AM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


This turtle is chicken! Very timid, he gets scared easily and runs back and forth a lot. Jump on him and he stops moving for awhile.
posted by CancerMan at 11:49 AM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


I got that same one, phunniemee.
posted by vorfeed at 11:50 AM on April 6, 2011


You are social but sometimes keep your own counsel. You often question things which others take for granted, and sometimes take for granted what others question. Sometimes you enter a state where threats and mind control are represented by fuzzy pink and white shapes. You spend much spare time on websites where people vent their fury or passion over random Internet findings.

Gee, mine sounded about right.
posted by kinnakeet at 11:50 AM on April 6, 2011


I got stuck on question 12.
All I could do was stare, enthralled.
posted by Floydd at 11:50 AM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


But yeah, isn't it mocking all those sorts of tests? I liked it though, it was freaky.
posted by gaspode at 11:50 AM on April 6, 2011


No offense to the OP but this test is incredibly stupid. The questions don't make sense at all. They start off with an A or B question (which is mad?) and then end up completely nonsensical (Has the nightmare just begun?) that cannot be answered with an A or B response, and makes no sense at all anyways, based on the shape. I just ended up clicking on random shapes because it was totally illogical. I was even more disappointed with the little blurb at the end, which to me sounded less like a psychological evaluation than a poorly written (and entirely inaccurate) fortune cookie or astrological writeup in the back of a cheap newspaper. I don't get it. Did I miss some obvious joke or something?
posted by 1000monkeys at 11:51 AM on April 6, 2011


That made me a bit anxious. Guess all the nice people went first.

Often concerned with right and wrong, and punctilious in expressing it, you are best represented by the Customs Agent or the IRS inspector. Initially seen by others as cold or uncaring, you are difficult for those more spontaneous members of society to understand. You are extremely stable, responsible and dependable. You manifest an amazing ability to concentrate on the issue at hand, and are difficult to distract from issues that are important. You manifest a great sense of loyalty to your employers and your government.


IRS agent. Nice.
posted by shothotbot at 11:51 AM on April 6, 2011


Did I miss some obvious joke or something?

Yes. This is obviously either an art piece or a viral. I thought it was fantastic.
posted by empath at 11:51 AM on April 6, 2011 [5 favorites]


When I took this yesterday, I thought it was one of those gags where it tells you to look intently at something, then springs a horrifying image at you. But no, all I got was a headache.
posted by ego at 11:52 AM on April 6, 2011


You are a hive of bees, yellow but black you communicate primarily by wiggling your butt. Contemplative and sesquipedalian, your tendency toward selfishness and ostentatious displays of mating behavior often frighten and arouse those around you. When tired, you often resort to shoving cake in your mouth and chanting the theme song to Charlie Brown. You thought question twelve looked like boobs, you perv. What you lack in loquaciousness, you make up for in a perfunctory attachment to squid.

Huh.
posted by mrgoat at 11:53 AM on April 6, 2011 [11 favorites]


Maybe an ARG?

Gotta be. Sending the email now. Off we go...
posted by Rock Steady at 11:53 AM on April 6, 2011


I wouldn't feel so bad about having wasted five minutes of my life on this test if they uploaded it to Kongregate and gave it a badge.
posted by Jehan at 11:53 AM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


I like the idea that it's an art piece/satire on personality tests. It looks just like one except for the wtf questions.

Somebody email them and report back on the ARG option, please.
posted by immlass at 11:54 AM on April 6, 2011


I did even better on my SAT test
posted by Postroad at 11:55 AM on April 6, 2011


I emailed asking "Is there a psytest1?"
posted by muddgirl at 11:55 AM on April 6, 2011


Those were about equally split between "wtf? I have no idea what you are even" and "it's pretty obvious which one I'm 'supposed to' pick but I don't actually feel like that, so I'll click randomly".
posted by DU at 11:55 AM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


theodolite: If you were a Pokemon, you would be: Clefairy!

cortex: You are Squirtle. Cheerful but often withdrawn, you recede into your shell when things get difficult, but you're not unwilling to whip your tail around when you need to show someone who's boss. You live inside a small ball-shaped prison.

My favorite part: Everyone ends up in a small ball-shaped prison.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:56 AM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Dudes, you are in denial. You know there is a deep kernel of logic to the questions and the choices.
posted by blargerz at 11:57 AM on April 6, 2011


I will be really disappointed if this isn't part of an ARG. Because otherwise it's the "airline food is bad, amirite?!" of satire.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:58 AM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Blustering through the world with the finesse of a thunderstorm, you are a natural leader, a creator of consensus. You will often plan out the future in deliberate and at times frustrating detail. This ability to create and to plan is sometimes expressed as a facility for the telling of tall tales.Your friends often find themselves assigned tasks or roles within the group. This can be very useful when action is called for and equally annoying when the idea at hand is rest and relaxation. When challenged, however, you can become cold and argumentative. Your understanding of the world is deliberate and well thought out. Your emotion comes in two varieties, either restrained and sincere, or else melodramatic and loud and usually inauthentic. Affection for you is best expressed through action, by doing things for the people you care about. This need to always be proactive can lead you to feel that there is no end to the trouble in your life.

Though I am sure it was meant to be one of those applicable-to-everyone cold readings, my result was in fact completely inapplicable to me.
I thoroughly enjoyed the creepy weirdness of the test, though.
posted by Adridne at 11:59 AM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Was anyone else getting creepy brain-engrams from that big pink triangle? So big, so pink. Almost as bad as those lines, those cheating, repressive lines.
posted by bonehead at 12:00 PM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


You started this activity with the intention of taking it seriously, but when you arrived at number 12 all you could think about was boobs.
posted by saturday_morning at 12:00 PM on April 6, 2011 [6 favorites]


I have never taken a test whose conclusion was so utterly spot-on. Like in a freakishly scary way.
It knew me.
posted by rocket88 at 12:01 PM on April 6, 2011


Utter hooey.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 12:01 PM on April 6, 2011


rocket88, same here. I chalk it up to coincidence, but the evaluation I got at the end was... freakishly applicable.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 12:02 PM on April 6, 2011


muddgirl: I emailed asking "Is there a psytest1?"

I checked for URL options (psytest.html, psytest1.html, psytest3.html), but no luck. Googling for those pages didn't help, either.

And I liked how weird it was. I ignored whatever final message I received.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:02 PM on April 6, 2011


Not even sitting between screaming babies on a plane full of overcologned shouty old people gave me a migraine as fast as this "test", oh my god.
posted by elizardbits at 12:04 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


That's weird.

My results:
Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.
posted by ericb at 12:04 PM on April 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


What Kind of God would you be?

You would be God the watchmaker, God the mechanic. Essentially, your view of the heavens is one that could only exist after the industrial revolution, because you see everything in the universe as an intricately patterned machine. If it isn't working correctly, it should be fixed, rebuilt, or discarded.

You see people, your creations, as tools to be used in the furthering of your divine goals, whatever they might be. You view them the way a farmer views his oxen. The idea of free will might be valid, but you don't see why it should be necessary, when it only creates a disturbance in the grand design that you've envisioned.

You are not the sort of god who needs to be flattered or appeased. This is because you don't really respect your own creations enough to value their opinion. Afterall, you wouldn't value the opinion of a toaster or a microwave oven would you? If your people disobey you, you don't take it personally the way an old testament god would. You either change their minds with a quick emotionless tidal wave, or else turn them all off and start from scratch with a new creation.

You are the god of progress, the god of understanding. Your idea of the afterlife would be one big Club Med vacation for all those little people who helped you along the way. Then it's reincarnation and back to work!


This guy's site says he used to work for Colorgenics, "authored and designed numerous interactive psychological tests & quizzes". Maybe he's just practicing.
posted by ego at 12:06 PM on April 6, 2011


Epic fail! I'm nothing like the conformity-lovin' IRS agent the crazy shapes think I am.

Another vote for ARG right here. If it's anything other than that, a big thumbs-down.
posted by xenophile at 12:06 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


No one has mentioned the flashing background colors? Maybe it's more obvious to me because of some colorblindness range I have, but just looking at these questions the entire background is shifting from one hue to another of sort of yellowish-greyish-green at a rate of approximately 20 Hz. It makes me want to immediately look away. In some of the later ones if you isolate the edges of some of the figures it's clear that the edges are changing and going in and out of focus. My point being, yeah, calculated to disturb. Those of you with better color vision may being manipulated a bit more subtly than my drabber vision.
posted by BeerFilter at 12:07 PM on April 6, 2011


I was "thoughtful in the extreme" right up until I wound up with a distracting migraine. Ow, goddamnit. I think "thoughtful in the extreme" = "took longer than 3 seconds on average".
posted by yerfatma at 12:08 PM on April 6, 2011


I have never taken a test whose conclusion was so utterly spot-on. Like in a freakishly scary way. It knew me.

rocket88, same here. I chalk it up to coincidence, but the evaluation I got at the end was... freakishly applicable.


It's not exactly coincidence - the answers are designed to fit a broad range of people and throw in a few short specifics. If the specifics don't hit, then they're easy to gloss over. If they do hit, it's freakishly scary.
posted by muddgirl at 12:08 PM on April 6, 2011


hal c on, I was going to say that this must be how horoscopes are written.
posted by arveale at 12:09 PM on April 6, 2011


I got a different answer the second time I took it...but terrifyingly enough, I realized I'd picked the wrong shape on "Which shape wants to hurt you?"

You reach out to the world and pull in experiences of all forms and kinds. Spontaneous, immediate and active, you have a natural tendency to win, whether this is in the business world or on the freeway. In the right context this can be a positive encouragement to those around you. In the wrong context it can lead to a pathetic display of ego and misplaced pride. You are always on the prowl for clues as to how to win. Usually this behavior is unconscious or playful but the sense of play can rapidly disappear if you are found to be losing in the aforementioned contest. Only those who don’t compete are met with derision. You love to be the center of attention. The moment at hand is always of prime concern. Worries about the future or the past, or abstract discussions of philosophical matters are something for others to concern themselves with. Emotions are fleeting and often used as tactics.
posted by mittens at 12:09 PM on April 6, 2011


Thoughtful to the extreme, you are often obsessed with perfection and the rules governing your own personal interests. Your world is black and white. You love to work within a logical system, such as language, computer programming, or mathematics. Manipulating a system that can be completely understood is a distinct pleasure to you, because of your confidence in the underlying veracity of your belief system. Because of your appreciation for logic and order, those who speak or think in a sloppy manner are apt to generate more than their share of wrath. Although very amiable, you are not drawn to friendships out of a sense of personal need. You are just as happy by yourself with a good book or puzzle. Because you are so involved with thought, you will on occasion have difficulty dealing with the day-to-day problems of a normal life. Taking out the trash, doing the dishes, these are often left until the last possible moment, if at all.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:09 PM on April 6, 2011


Is it just my monitor or were some of the shapes almost impossible to make out? Like I could see the pink and blue stuff but I had to close the windows and squint trying to make out the lighter shapes.
posted by hegemone at 12:09 PM on April 6, 2011


This test told me that I get irrationally aggravated when I can't see shapes.
posted by hegemone at 12:11 PM on April 6, 2011


No one has mentioned the flashing background colors? Maybe it's more obvious to me because of some colorblindness range I have, but just looking at these questions the entire background is shifting from one hue to another of sort of yellowish-greyish-green at a rate of approximately 20 Hz.

"Approximately" being the key word. If you watch long enough, the rate changes...and maaaaybe coincides when the aura of the shapes is at its largest and smallest, except I'm almost positive it slowed down a second ago in the middle.

I am ready for my orders now.
posted by mittens at 12:11 PM on April 6, 2011


Thoughtful to the extreme, you are often obsessed with perfection and the rules governing your own personal interests. Your world is black and white. You love to work within a logical system, such as language, computer programming, or mathematics. Manipulating a system that can be completely understood is a distinct pleasure to you, because of your confidence in the underlying veracity of your belief system. Because of your appreciation for logic and order, those who speak or think in a sloppy manner are apt to generate more than their share of wrath. Although very amiable, you are not drawn to friendships out of a sense of personal need. You are just as happy by yourself with a good book or puzzle. Because you are so involved with thought, you will on occasion have difficulty dealing with the day-to-day problems of a normal life. Taking out the trash, doing the dishes, these are often left until the last possible moment, if at all.

Nope, but there's some similarities. You take out the trash, do the dishes FIRST, so you can spend time doing stuff you want. I'm usually only interested in rules in terms of how to get around them. SOME of my worlds are black and white, others require a whole lot of grey. No, I don't tolerate stupidity well, but ignorance is very understandable.

There are degrees to all of this, something that I didn't understand why I was younger, but now makes total sense and have several decades learning how to be human.

Nifty test though, gonna take it again
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:11 PM on April 6, 2011


I noticed the same thing BeerFilter did, the flashing background. It made me think that it's likely more viral marketing than anything else. In a few weeks, some psych horror movie about a diagnostic test being used to control people's minds will be advertised, trying to scare people. Did you take this test? You may already be infected in your mind.

So meh.
posted by mrgoat at 12:11 PM on April 6, 2011


I've got the same result as a couple of you.
posted by muddgirl at 12:14 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I didn't have the presence of mind to copy my result, but apparently I'm cold, calculating, and would be a really good tax or customs official just like xenophile. But that can't possibly be correct because I'm an INTJ and a Pisces!
posted by angiep at 12:15 PM on April 6, 2011


I think the real interesting aspect involves who took it all the way thorugh and who said, "Feck this sh*t" and stopped partway. (Moi.)

And then I'd break it down into people's reasoning for either path.

I think at first my left brain was asking, "Why/ how did they do this?" and my right brain was saying, "This is kind of crazy-fun." But somewhere along the line I thought, "This is stupid crap. And I don't even know who's tabulating it."

Don't know if my left or right brain that decided that.
posted by NorthernLite at 12:16 PM on April 6, 2011


(In case you'd like to read all of the results.)
posted by uncleozzy at 12:18 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Read about: The Forer Effect. Credibility, a distinctive profile but selected from universal attributes so the mark feels the truth of your analysis in the description. Next give them a little NLP suggestion to create the future. The test is just a prop in the act.
posted by humanfont at 12:22 PM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Has the nightmare just begun? ... cannot be answered with an A or B response

The answer is "B", duh.

No, wait! I mean "A", obviously.
posted by Floydd at 12:23 PM on April 6, 2011


Yeah, there ya go, I can't even code but you can see it right there in the pastbin uncleozzy it's doin' a bunch of weird stuff. If you have any more doubt just screenshot 3 or 4 stills of the same question then compare them. It's creepy but kinda neat in a way.
posted by BeerFilter at 12:23 PM on April 6, 2011


(in the pastbin uncleaozzy posted one can see it's doin' a bunch of wierd stuff)
posted by BeerFilter at 12:25 PM on April 6, 2011


On 2nd try:
"You have a poetic sensibility and an ability to see beyond the day to day. You often seem to be living in a higher realm, or to be not-of-this-earth. Occasionally you imagine interior lives for friends and associates that are near-complete fabrications based on your fears or hopes for the future. You are often not aware of your own feelings. You have a strong sense of right and wrong, and because of this are often disappointed. Despite what can sometimes be a destructive inward-turning anger, you are very gentle. You are sometimes a bit out of touch with the ebb and flow of modern life. If your behavior is out of synch with your moral values, a severe psychic disturbance can result. Because connectivity is so important to you, you can become quiet and sulky if you feel that others around do not understand your point of view."

There's elements that match my personality and others that don't

Some of the questions can go either way, in my mind. It really depends on the story that I'm associating with the visuals. For instance, on the second question (which I switched between tries), either location could be unsafe, it depends on the narrative. The large triangle could fall on the smaller, red triangle or the smaller one could be dangerous insect about to bite the gentle and loving large triangle. It's just a matter of degree and frame of mind, I suspect.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:25 PM on April 6, 2011


All right, so how can I tweak this test to get a resultnumber of 0?
posted by CancerMan at 12:26 PM on April 6, 2011


That was creepy and intriguing. I especially like the way the questions got progressively "psychotic" in tone.

This would be a great little mini-game to insert into something like Portal. I can easily imagine the questions being read in GLaDOS's voice.

Also makes me think of After Last Season (IMO, a deliberately "bad" film with disquieting undertones that has a lot to do with psychological tests, psychosis, the nature of perception, etc).
posted by treepour at 12:27 PM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Ha, on the third try, matching the results from first try, I got this:
"Handy in the real world manipulation of objects and events, you are easily enthused by practical projects. You often ignore or conveniently forget rules and boundaries that limit your freedom. This need for freedom extends even to the personal sphere and though you are kind and gentle, you will often be hard to pin down to a monogamous lifestyle. Because you tend to verbalize so seldom, you can be seen as phlegmatic or impassive. In moments of high tension you can often surprise those around you with a lighthearted or humorous remark. Because of your facility with the physical world, you are often engaged in sports that require dexterity, such as motorcycling or hang gliding. You will rarely have time for flights of fancy or unproductive discussion. Constraints on your freedom will be regarded as a personal attack."

Completely different answer
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:30 PM on April 6, 2011


I started answering faster and faster because it was disturbing me. Aaah - flashy lights!
posted by Karmakaze at 12:32 PM on April 6, 2011


I just ended up clicking on random shapes because it was totally illogical. I was even more disappointed with the little blurb at the end, which to me sounded less like a psychological evaluation than a poorly written (and entirely inaccurate) fortune cookie or astrological writeup in the back of a cheap newspaper.

So... you're saying that you got inaccurate results from clicking on things at random?
o_O

***

I can stop there, right?
posted by herbplarfegan at 12:32 PM on April 6, 2011


So... it's a Myers-Briggs test.

public function additupa(param1:int) : void
   {
      switch(param1)
         {
            case 1:
               {
                  (EX + 1);
                  break;
               }


Hitting A on question 1 will give you an EXtrovert point. B will give you an INtrovert point. After question 20, tabulate() sees whether you have more EXtroversion or INtroversion, more THinking or FEeling, more SEnse or INTuition, and more JUdgement or PEreception.
posted by ego at 12:33 PM on April 6, 2011 [6 favorites]


Part of Horton's portfolio is a list of writing he's done, one of which is SelfNetwork
Exploring Your Archetype:
psychological test, loosely based on the Myers Briggs profile


The copy from this article appears to be the same as the answers for the quiz, with slight changes.
The whirlwind lives in the physical world; it receives its power from the machinations of the physical world and yet is not of the world. Its power comes from the whirlwind’s ability to sense how things might be and to proclaim this possibility with a great force and willingness to act.

… The whirlwind has a tendency to be romantic, and can often be an idealist. This sense of how the world can be is often expressed with self-deprecatory humor, which can alleviate some of the tensions that might arise from such idealism.

Because of the whirlwind’s need to address the immediacy of the moment, often it may not think things through to their logical end, relying instead on its feeling for how a situation SHOULD end.
vs.
Your power comes from an ability to sense how things might be and to proclaim this possibility with a great force and willingness to act. You have a tendency to be romantic, and can be an idealist. This sense of how the world can be is often expressed with self-deprecatory humor. Because of your need to address the immediacy of the moment, you may not think things through to their logical end, relying instead on a feeling for how a situation SHOULD end.
posted by zamboni at 12:33 PM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Looking at the code, it's actually a pretty straightforward personality test. I'm leaning more towards a little "This is what I can do for you, person who is interested in making personality tests!"

Questions (1,5,15,20), for example, tests "EX" vs "IT". If you test higher in EX than IT on those questions, but every other question is the same:
resultarray[1] = "Your power comes from an ability to sense how things might be and to proclaim this possibility with a great force and willingness to act. You have a tendency to be romantic, and can be an idealist. This sense of how the world can be is often expressed with self-deprecatory humor. Because of your need to address the immediacy of the moment, you may not think things through to their logical end, relying instead on a feeling for how a situation SHOULD end. You need to be liked and appreciated by others, although your attention often wanders. Sometimes you neglect old friends in favor of a new or exciting acquaintance. You have a real difficulty being alone. Often you will seem to know how to handle a situation without exactly knowing HOW you know this. Your thoughts are often shallow. While in the excitement of the moment you can obsess about a task at hand. If it should become rote and unexciting, however, it can be dropped just as quickly."
Otherwise,
resultarray[2] = "You have a poetic sensibility and an ability to see beyond the day to day. You often seem to be living in a higher realm, or to be not-of-this-earth. Occasionally you imagine interior lives for friends and associates that are near-complete fabrications based on your fears or hopes for the future. You are often not aware of your own feelings. You have a strong sense of right and wrong, and because of this are often disappointed. Despite what can sometimes be a destructive inward-turning anger, you are very gentle. You are sometimes a bit out of touch with the ebb and flow of modern life. If your behavior is out of synch with your moral values, a severe psychic disturbance can result. Because connectivity is so important to you, you can become quiet and sulky if you feel that others around do not understand your point of view."
Completely different answer

Looking at the code, that shouldn't happen.
posted by muddgirl at 12:33 PM on April 6, 2011


Heh. Mine was absurdly accurate all the way through, and I'm super-skeptical about everything. ...I just feel rejected, having not been Rick-rolled.
posted by herbplarfegan at 12:34 PM on April 6, 2011


I remember a time, as a psych undergrad, when one of our lab experiences involved taking a personality test one week. The next week, the grad student running the lab gave us all our results, and after we had read them (but not shared them with each other) he asked how many of us felt they were accurate. About 3/4 of the class agreed they were good descriptions of them. He then had us share our results with each other - we all had received the exact same results page.

I suspect that this fun test just spits out a random results set every time you take it, demonstrating the principle that a set of general platitudes will find a sizeable number of people who think it describes them perfectly.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:35 PM on April 6, 2011


OOooOoOoOOOooooOoOooohhhhhhhhhHHhhh......

Though quiet on the outside, you are often the hidden hero; someone who rushes in when needed and then after the emergency is over fades back into the woodwork. Because of this sense of duty and honor, you can also on occasion be rigid in your viewpoint and unyielding in the face of other ways of thinking. Usually cynical and rarely trusting of others, you maintain a small set of intimate friends. These bonds are stronger than most. You are always grounded in the present moment. Your close bonds can also lead to clique-ishness and a tendency to gossip about those who are deemed less worthy. You are an integrative thinker, collecting data from a wide range of sources and applying it to your worldview. You can become overly task-oriented. In stressful situations you often withdraw from the world to seek peace in contemplation. You often seem cold and withdrawn. Often you will withdraw rather than verbalize your discontent.

I like how all the shapes are fuzzy. What does that mean about me?
posted by Salmonberry at 12:35 PM on April 6, 2011


Ok, that thing needs a seizure alert. I couldn't get past the first question without being triggered. Other Mefitepileptics, be aware.
posted by worldswalker at 12:35 PM on April 6, 2011


So, aside from the distracting fuzz effect and blurring, after question 9, they become increasingly loaded questions that lead from one to the next in insinuations, moving from talking about projecting feelings onto the shapes, and into flipping back and forth between the feelings of the shapes and their relationship to you (or really, about you, in the end):

"Which shape can control your mind?";
"Which shape is insane?";
"Where is the betrayal?";
"Which pretends to be you?";
"Which can hear you breathing?";
"Which shape wants to hurt you?";
"Who are the false friends?";
"How can you stop them lying about you?";
"Has the nightmare only begun?";
"Which knows your secret?";
"Is there another voice inside you?";
"Am I you?";

While it's true that these questions are non-sensical, these some of the ways you end up thinking when you create art or poetry.

You pour your emotions into your work and you can have an "angry triangle" or a question mark that is betrayal - and being able to make these things become those things for other people, is a mark of being great at your craft. (More mainstream example- think of how a cinematography can shoot light and shadow or use low undercurrents of base to represent "danger".

Anyway, this was a neat little whatever it was. Creepy and cool.
posted by yeloson at 12:39 PM on April 6, 2011 [4 favorites]


In the pastebin posted, there are are 16 cases listed in the makediagnosis function (line 710) that correspond to the Myers-Briggs temperaments.

EX/IN
SE/INT
TH/FE
JU/PE

But type sorting using vague and paranoid questions and geometric shapes probably isn't very sound.

Thanks to live update, I see that ego beat me to it...
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 12:39 PM on April 6, 2011


So... it's a Myers-Briggs test.

Apparently in the more common parlance I tested as INTP, which is more or less what I test as on other tests. It would be interesting to break down which answers he correlated with which characteristics.
posted by muddgirl at 12:39 PM on April 6, 2011


This would be a great little mini-game to insert into something like Portal

That was my ARG-related thinking. I know they've done some ARGy stuff to promote Portal 2, so I thought this might have Valve-stink all over it.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:39 PM on April 6, 2011


I loved the questions, was disappointed by the generic personality paragraph at the end. In part because mine was utterly wrong (which as others point out, is actually pretty unusual), but mostly because it totally punctured the weird atmosphere of unreality that the test had built up. I don't know if there is any science behind it (relative to the amount of science usually found in personality tests), but it would be interesting if at the end it just gave you all the paragraphs and asked you to pick one. Then we could do some stats to see whether there really was any significant correlation between your answers and your personality type. I doubt it, but if so, it suggests that virtually any set of 20 random questions might function as a personality test if you figure out the correlations first.
posted by chortly at 12:43 PM on April 6, 2011


Oh, wow, this pinged me as an ultra conservative.

As an anarcho hippie commy I may have to lay down now.
posted by ZeroAmbition at 12:44 PM on April 6, 2011


I got 18 out of 20. Not bad, but I should have known that a Pac Man shape cannot be stopped and that six white dots is clearly insane. I'll study harder (drop more acid) before the next test.
posted by pardonyou? at 12:44 PM on April 6, 2011


Made me hungry for fava beans. And a nice chianti.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:50 PM on April 6, 2011


Often concerned with right and wrong, and punctilious in expressing it, you are best represented by the Customs Agent or the IRS inspector. Sir. Initially seen by others as cold or uncaring, you are difficult for those more spontaneous members of society to understand. You are extremely stable, responsible and dependable. You manifest an amazing ability to concentrate on the issue at hand, and are difficult to distract from issues that are important. You manifest a great sense of loyalty to your employers and your government. They know. You tend to show love through a display of committed works, believing that actions speak louder than words. You are also resistant to change and tend to believe that the old ways are best. If a behavior has been successful in the past, why would anyone want to change? You work best in a controlled environment. Get out now.
I'm scared.
posted by dougrayrankin at 12:52 PM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Well this certainly helped with my burgeoning paranoiac tendencies.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 1:03 PM on April 6, 2011


cortex: "You are Squirtle. Cheerful but often withdrawn, you recede into your shell when things get difficult, but you're not unwilling to whip your tail around when you need to show someone who's boss. You live inside a small ball-shaped prison."

You need alcohol to get through the working day.
oh wait, wrong game
posted by ArgentCorvid at 1:03 PM on April 6, 2011 [5 favorites]


For the record, here are the results from my first pass:

Fond of tradition, but attached more to the joy of human interaction, you are often a beacon of hope to those members of society who have lost faith or who are in need of succor. You are often emotional, and this emotionality is rarely held in check. Kind and helping by nature, when affronted you will explode, and just as suddenly when the pain has passed return to normalcy again. On occasion this quick and vibrant emotionality is translated into a life on the stage or screen. You have a strong sense of right and wrong, but can sometimes be left confused and uncertain in times of stress or when tough decisions must be made. You avoid conflict, tending to stay out of trouble in hopes that the group will benefit most from this behavior. Because you have trouble putting your own needs first, you will be put in much stress if you find yourself in an unequal relationship, one in which your partner is not as giving as you are.


It was a fun test to take and despite the instructions to not assign any narrative to the choices presented, it's pretty hard not to in the face of the given questions.
posted by ooga_booga at 1:04 PM on April 6, 2011


Because you tend to verbalize so seldom...

These dumb shapes do not know me at all.
posted by iamkimiam at 1:04 PM on April 6, 2011 [4 favorites]


It was a fun test to take and despite the instructions to not assign any narrative to the choices presented, it's pretty hard not to in the face of the given questions.

Damn straight. Don't you ever let no Flash animation tell you want to do.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:06 PM on April 6, 2011


That was a pretty awesome piece of darkly whimsical conceptual art. Thanks for the link.
posted by edheil at 1:08 PM on April 6, 2011


Your power comes from an ability to sense how things might be and to proclaim this possibility with a great force and willingness to act. You have a tendency to be romantic, and can be an idealist. This sense of how the world can be is often expressed with self-deprecatory humor. Because of your need to address the immediacy of the moment, you may not think things through to their logical end, relying instead on a feeling for how a situation SHOULD end. You need to be liked and appreciated by others, although your attention often wanders. Sometimes you neglect old friends in favor of a new or exciting acquaintance. You have a real difficulty being alone. Often you will seem to know how to handle a situation without exactly knowing HOW you know this. Your thoughts are often shallow. While in the excitement of the moment you can obsess about a task at hand. If it should become rote and unexciting, however, it can be dropped just as quickly.

Some yes, some no. It sounds similar to results I've gotten doing the M-B test, so I figured it was based on that.
posted by cereselle at 1:08 PM on April 6, 2011


Oh, and apparently I'm an INTP: Thoughtful to the extreme, you are often obsessed with perfection and the rules governing your own personal interests. Your world is black and white. You love to work within a logical system, such as language, computer programming, or mathematics. Manipulating a system that can be completely understood is a distinct pleasure to you, because of your confidence in the underlying veracity of your belief system. Because of your appreciation for logic and order, those who speak or think in a sloppy manner are apt to generate more than their share of wrath. Although very amiable, you are not drawn to friendships out of a sense of personal need. You are just as happy by yourself with a good book or puzzle. Because you are so involved with thought, you will on occasion have difficulty dealing with the day-to-day problems of a normal life. Taking out the trash, doing the dishes, these are often left until the last possible moment, if at all.

Because, having seen me dig through that pastebin, you totally wouldn't guess that.
posted by ego at 1:09 PM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'm Chaotic Good.
posted by maudlin at 1:13 PM on April 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


I like the idea that the test is not concerned with the answers, but with how long you take to provide an answer to an "unanswerable" or abstract question. You could tie that in with some standard red = aggression, whether many shapes surrounding a larger shape are comforting or frightening, whether you tend to choose the inclusive or exclusive option... it could all be random, but the possibilities are interesting.
posted by L'Estrange Fruit at 1:15 PM on April 6, 2011


So... it's a Myers-Briggs test.

So we haven't been programmed as assassins in the upcoming human robot wars then? Oh good.
posted by grapesaresour at 1:29 PM on April 6, 2011


So we haven't been programmed as assassins in the upcoming human robot wars then? Oh good.

Why don't you pass the time by playing a little solitaire?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:33 PM on April 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


It would be interesting to break down which answers he correlated with which characteristics.

Wonder no more. Had this in notepad, but didn't think anyone really wanted to know. [Question: What A gives a point to/what B gives a point to]

1. Which of these circles is angry?: EX/IN
2. Which location is unsafe?: FE/TH
3. Which area is pretending?: JU/PE
4. Who will survive?: SE/INT
5. Which position is diseased?: IN/EX
6. Where is the sin?: FE/TH
7. Where will they find you?: SE/INT
8. Which one cannot be stopped?: TH/FE
9. Which shape can control your mind?: PE/JU
10. Which shape is insane?: SE/INT
11. Where is the betrayal?: JU/PE
12. Which pretends to be you?: TH/FE
13. Which can hear you breathing?: JU/PE
14. Which shape wants to hurt you?: SE/INT
15. Who are the false friends?: EX/IN
16. How can you stop them lying about you?: EX/IN
17. Has the nightmare only begun?: TH/FE
18. Which knows your secret?: SE/INT
19. Is there another voice inside you?: JU/PE
20. Am I you?: IN/EX
posted by ego at 2:01 PM on April 6, 2011 [10 favorites]


When I got to the question, "Has the nightmare only begun?" I suddenly had a very strong Silent Hill feeling.
posted by adamdschneider at 2:12 PM on April 6, 2011 [5 favorites]


The advantage is that everything in this post is now a little throbbing and blurry.
posted by blucevalo at 2:25 PM on April 6, 2011


I loved it! such a creepy feel to it.

six white dots is clearly insane Obviously the six white dots are plotting. That's just common sense.

I got INFP, which I have never gotten before ever. I've always been INTJ every time I've been tested. Perhaps it was the fault of those dastardly dots.
posted by winna at 2:26 PM on April 6, 2011


phunniemee: for what it's worth I also got that. I don't know, maybe I am just "too cynical and rarely trusting" but it all sounds like bs to me.

I was a little creeped out, but I assumed it was a sort of joke. Some of the questions I had to answer randomly. I almost gave up.

The pulsing circles in "Which pretends to be you?" look identical. Couldn't spot the difference there. One of the shapes, the red irregular blobby pulsating one in either the 'which is insane' or 'which controls your mind' question, did freak me out, I admit. I had a 'bleagh go away' reaction and just clicked on. Like it was a spider or something. Now I'm slapping myself thinking "do you realise you found a SHAPE on a laptop screen scary"? I guess after seeing all pulsating squares and triangles and circles, an irregulary shaped blob would stand out. Add the loaded questions and there you go, creepy effect. It's a trick.

Did anyone get the "You are not well" result? :)
posted by bitteschoen at 2:29 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I got INFP too, after a couple tests with different answers. I usually test strong INTP, so that was sort of interesting. I liked it.
posted by Errant at 2:35 PM on April 6, 2011


Huh! Going by the conventional Meyers-Briggs writeups linked to by zamboni, I came out ENTP- the result I usually get in MB tests.

I was disappointed the 'profile' wasn't in the same surreal vein as the test, but that's kind of eerie actually.
posted by Erasmouse at 2:38 PM on April 6, 2011


Always happy in a crowd, you love to converse, to relate, and above all to have fun. You tend to think in a more holistic manner than many others. Like a crow you are attracted to shiny objects, new ideas, playful exciting colors and the thrill of a new personal relationship. You love to talk or gossip. You are highly invested in the reality of day-to-day life. Practicality is far more important than issues of honor or allegiance. You are a creature of the here and now. You are a natural multi-tasker, often switching mid-thought from one duty to another. You have a flair for presenting your personality in your work, and are known as a great storyteller and natural actor. You are very skilled at taking in a barrage of information and distilling what is most important from it. Naturally charming, you are quick to win new friends. Over stimulation is a danger.

This is mostly me (I'm not "happy in a crowd"). The rest of it I'm prepared to work with.

I laughed at several points and kept clicking. On Myers Briggs I was an INTJ back in the day - I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.
posted by kneecapped at 2:40 PM on April 6, 2011


I think that being told not to assign any kind of narrative to the shapes/questions just increases the likelihood that the test-taker will do so, and is probably on purpose.

I have to admit that I had a feeling of "Where is this going, exactly, and why am I so worried to actually find out?" similar to watching Rabbits by David Lynch. The personality description at the end gave it a jokey quality, but the email link pushed it firmly back into weird territory. I did send a message, though, with a body that simply read "Test me." We'll see if this actually does go anywhere.
posted by owtytrof at 2:53 PM on April 6, 2011


>My point being, yeah, calculated to disturb.

Domain: www.hypnoid.com

The test is composed of hypnotic, presuppositional state-induction questions-- in most cases, you'll either get anxious, or think about getting anxious, in a way that creates fascination.
posted by darth_tedious at 2:53 PM on April 6, 2011


I think the paragraph it spits back out at you is random. I took the test once, got one blurb. Took it again and gave the opposite blurb. Took it a third time clicking A for everything and got the blurb from the first time. Whatever I am totally over this!

But uh, why am I somehow afraid of my reflection now?
posted by hegemone at 2:58 PM on April 6, 2011




But uh, why am I somehow afraid of my reflection now?"

Because you never noticed you look exactly like a knife.
posted by meadowlark lime at 3:00 PM on April 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


Wow, that third sentence should read "Took it again and gave the opposite answers, got a different blurb."

Back to rocking in the corner!
posted by hegemone at 3:03 PM on April 6, 2011


I think the paragraph it spits back out at you is random.

It's not random, actually. Like any Myers-Briggs test, choosing the exact opposite answers should give you the exact opposite result. If you were INTJ the first time (or whatever), then you should be ESFP or whatever.

Coincidentally, why is everyone an N on the internet? I rarely see an S.
posted by muddgirl at 3:08 PM on April 6, 2011


Muddgirl, I have long heard of a correlation between N and intelligence. I think I found something relevant here. Remember back in the old days, twenty years back, when practically anyone you came across on the Internet was educated and intelligent? I think that's still holding over, a bit.

Hrm. Now to coax YouTube commenters into taking the MBTI ...
posted by adipocere at 3:22 PM on April 6, 2011


This didn't seem to fit me well.

Verbally and mentally fluid, you are refreshing and illuminating to those around you. This is occasionally somewhat discounted by the obvious pleasure that you take in exercising your mental acuity. Although generally peaceful you can often take a verbally aggressive tact in relations with the world, which can often be misunderstood by those around you. Innovative in the extreme, you can often think yourself right out of the correct answer to a given problem.

All of this is true.

Many times you are referred to as your own worst enemy.

Only when I play trivial pursuit with my wife. :)

You tire very quickly of routine and so make poor clerks or administrative help. You also have no respect for authority and little patience for those you regard as inferior, most especially those in charge. Experimentation is your watchword and can occasionally lead to experience for its own sake and shallow decadence. Your thought can sometimes be scattered and disconnected.

Here's where it breaks down. I'm the most detail-oriented person I know who likes doing repetitive, patterned work. I could sit for hours on the same task. Clerical work is fine, as long as it's not number-oriented. (I have no head for numbers.) I also don't have any problem with authority, am not a big risk-taker and not into shallow decadence (but it depends on who's offering.) :D

It's been years since I took Myers Briggs. In my 20's, I was evenly divided between INFP and INFJ, and score 100% on the introversion scale. Somehow, I doubt this translates well.
posted by zarq at 3:37 PM on April 6, 2011


Read about: The Forer Effect.

Really, this is a combination of 3 things: (1) A really creepy set-up, (2) the fact that Myers-Briggs has a tendency towards the Forer Effect, and (3) that scam where you pretend to predict the Super Bowl by mailing out 50 predictions for one team and 50 predictions for the other.
posted by muddgirl at 3:42 PM on April 6, 2011


Why yes, I would like to join the Church of Scientology!
posted by gjc at 3:47 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


So I took this the first time and actually tried to answer the questions. I got the same result as ofthestrait and Brandon Blatcher.

Then, after reading the comments here, I took it and answered "A" all the way through. This is what I got:
You are not a leader of men but an organizer of men. You need order and organization to feel secure about your life. You will usually have extensive knowledge of your family history and tradition. You have little use for things that are not useful. Hard work, thrift and dedication are the way to your heart. You will always deal with others in a steadfast and straightforward manner, and will consequently expect others to behave the same way. The strange, the illicit, the unusual, have no place in your mindset. Proper planning and organization is a distinct pleasure to you. Because of your sense of responsibility, you will often accept leadership roles that can be onerous and difficult. Your thinking is sequential. Relationships for you often revolve around a sense of mutual responsibility. Good parenting is of prime importance, as is the duties that one lover has to another. You are intensely loyal, but on occasion can be so obsessed with the duties of a relationship that you can forget to address the private moments that give a relationship meaning. Oddly, you can be extremely sentimental.

I do like planning and organizing, and I do hate doing the dishes. Hmmmm, which personality to choose.....
posted by DiscourseMarker at 3:49 PM on April 6, 2011


Like Brandon, I took the test twice (answering B for everything except question boob 12) and got two answers: "You have a poetic sensibility." and "Thoughtful to the extreme..." I also answered entirely B's twice in a row and got the 'poetic sensibility'. Answering A all teh way through, I got Discourse's answer above. Answering sincerely, I got this.

My takeaway: I'm really irritated those two shapes in boob 12 are identical and if they want me to email them, post the address in away that doesn't auto open Outlook on my work computer.
posted by maryr at 4:20 PM on April 6, 2011


I think I need some cake and grief counseling after this.
posted by Metroid Baby at 4:24 PM on April 6, 2011 [5 favorites]


No, won't be taking this test. But thanks, though.

Last time I took a personality test (mandated by my then-employer), I was told I was a cross between a champion/protector and Elvis Presley. 'Nuff said.
posted by likeso at 4:27 PM on April 6, 2011


A bit creepy, yes, but fascinating, and I got ISTP which is probably closer to reality than the (different) results I usually get. Normally, I always get en E and sometimes an N, which is absurd, and J an P can interchange within the same week. If there is at all validity in Myers-Briggs, it makes sense to me that an S-person would get a better result from a purely visual test. I hate those questionnaires, specially when I am angry because I'm given the test in some job-related situation. Here, even though the images confused me, I felt more comfortable giving whatever reply I felt like.

However, when I remember all those stupid psychologist types testing me over time, I still think Myers-Briggs is a load of s... Also, if they had come to this conclusion, I wouldn't have my current job, which I am good at.
posted by mumimor at 4:30 PM on April 6, 2011


Quiet and very self-assured, you tend to keep your own council. Pragmatic and practical to a fault, you are not one to worry about the finer points of philosophical discourse. In fact, because you are very much an individualist, you often finds yourself at odds with the established truth or the wishes of the majority. You will often earn the wrath of an employer by taking upon yourself decisions which are rightly those of your manager. You are not one to take credit unless it is deserved. Similarly however, you will also not happily give credit where it is not due. In a romantic relationship you can be very frustrating. While you do care deeply and sincerely, and are willing to work at a relationship, your confidence in your own abilities can on occasion make it difficult to see the world from a partner’s point of view. Quiet and stoic at times, you can drive a more emotional individual completely up the wall. You can become overstressed and fatigued without knowing it. Taking time to rest between bouts of hard work can help to prevent a breakdown later on.

My result isn't very much like me at all... maybe 50% accurate. But maybe that is due to the fact that they specifically said not to construct any kind of narrative to help you make a choice, and I tried hard not to. But that is pretty much how I would normally choose between two inobvious answers... so maybe the fact that I didn't do it my normal way skewed the test results somewhat.

Or maybe the whole thing is complete bullshit. More likely.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 4:34 PM on April 6, 2011


Coincidentally, why is everyone an N on the internet? I rarely see an S.

They hang out on the esternet, of course.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 5:19 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Weird. This successfully predicted my next three victims.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:59 PM on April 6, 2011 [8 favorites]


I'm an S.
posted by maryr at 6:00 PM on April 6, 2011


Well, I don't know where to begin with this, I am so ambivalent about it.

First of all, I too found it deeply unsettling, so much that I actually had to take a slight breather afterward. At some point, I became concerned that it might turn out to be a "screamer" of some kind, even though I knew that the post had been on MeFi for hours and would surely have been deleted had this been the case.

FWIW, I was a psych major and I have taken hundreds of personality and cognitive tests in college. Some of them got quite personal: I remember biting down on a cotton pad to measure cortisol levels in my saliva while verbally recounting the last time I cried. (I think I did get paid a few euros for that one.)

So maybe it's my particular resume talking or whatever, but I can totally see how this test might be triggering for those of us with some type of schizo-affective or schizophrenic disorder. I mean, man, it asks you which weird undulating shape is reading your thoughts or whatever. And then it makes you think about it. Sweet Jebus.

Though easily startled — hence the screamer thing — I believe myself to be reasonably sober-minded and to have a decent sense of intellectual distance, but this thing really freaked me out. For a fleeting moment, but still.

So there's the ambivalence. If it's satire or art of some kind, I think it's genius. It's certainly provocative. If it's intended as a genuine personality test, it's probably quackery, or in the best case a scientifically worthless application on ill-defined theoretical basis. If it's marketing something, well, meh.

But regardless, taking into account both my own experience and the epilepsy comment, I do not think this is a good post for Metafilter. It was certainly interesting, but I feel it either needs a big "weird-ass schizo shit with epilepsy triggers" warning, or it should be deleted.

I'm flagging it anyway.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:50 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I dropped a blinky warning on the post. You can always contact us as mods and we'll do that.
posted by jessamyn at 7:00 PM on April 6, 2011


Uh, it's the Barnum effect.
posted by storybored at 7:00 PM on April 6, 2011


Haven't seen mine show up yet:

You need to help others and to be thought of as a generous and kind individual. Often you are taken advantage of and regarded as simply part of the scenery. You work best when handling the work yourself; you do not appreciate a managerial role and tend to be uncomfortable in that position. Friendship is important to you, but it is generated on a personal basis, rarely a professional one. Consequently, family life is very important to you, and is often the most important aspect. Because of a strong sense of propriety however, you will sometimes consider the eccentric behavior of your friends and family as a personal affront. Often you find it difficult to speak up about personal anguish or pain, feeling instead that it is something an individual should bear in silence. Tradition is important to you, and you feel a sense of belonging when operating within the constraints of a predictable routine.

I don't really know what to make of it, except that it does remind me of the best vague horoscopes. I feel a little let down, I thought the test was trying to demonstrate what it's like to have some type of mental disorder.
posted by missix at 8:36 PM on April 6, 2011


My diagnosis was pretty spot on -- verbal, communicative, charming (hehe), likes to distill large amounts of information, practicality above all else, addicted to multi-tasking. And "overstimulation is a danger."

Very true in my case.
posted by bardic at 8:36 PM on April 6, 2011


I want those five minutes of my life back.
posted by 630 at 9:10 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


You tend to draw and nurture others with your natural charisma.

*falls off chair laughing*
posted by pyramid termite at 9:23 PM on April 6, 2011


Help! I am being held captive in a personality test factory
posted by Joseph Gurl at 10:10 PM on April 6, 2011


This was pretty cool in a weird kind of way, ending aside.
posted by DoctorFedora at 11:05 PM on April 6, 2011


Actually, I take that back. The sudden jolt of the unsatisfyingly vague Meyers-Briggsiness at the end does a pretty good job of improving the effect of the test as something that it's your fault that you find it unsettling.
posted by DoctorFedora at 11:06 PM on April 6, 2011


So for number 16, "How can you stop them lying about you?", it's clearly B, right? Because from position A, you're standing directly behind the point where the two shapes are conferring, and they won't be able to see you. But if you're standing at point B, they'll notice you in their peripheral vision and stop talking.

I mean, obviously, right?
posted by brookedel at 11:13 PM on April 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


YOU WERE SPECIFICALLY TOLD NO NARRATIVES. NOW GO BACK TO SQUARE ONE, PICK OPTION A, AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE WHISPERING IT'S ALL LIES ANYWAY.
posted by iamkimiam at 2:27 AM on April 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


I just picked the ones that looked most like a penis.
posted by dougrayrankin at 3:28 PM on April 7, 2011


It's clearly not intended to be primarily an art/comedy piece, or they wouldn't have put so much effort into the coldreadings at the end. It strikes me as yet another one of those "I tried to make something serious but gave up halfway through and if anybody calls me on it I'll say it's a joke"s
posted by tehloki at 5:36 PM on April 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


"I tried to make something serious but gave up halfway through and if anybody calls me on it I'll say it's a joke"

AKA, my 20s.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:38 PM on April 7, 2011 [4 favorites]


It's clearly not intended to be primarily an art/comedy piece, or they wouldn't have put so much effort into the coldreadings at the end.

Like I mentioned above, the author edited Myers-Briggs profiles he did for another website.
posted by zamboni at 6:43 PM on April 7, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hey, so this is definitely looking more and more ARGy. Just got an email from the creator leading to this page and this new test. I think the next step is to find the name and website of the creepy Austrian institute alluded to in the blog postings.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:24 AM on April 21, 2011


Hokay, so the site appears to be emisary.com, which allows you to select your "locality" and give a name and email address. When you do so, you are sent an email asking you to "activate and reserve" your city, and when you do that, you are given the message:
you will be contacted when emisary begins public outreach. you are now emisary. Satisfyingly creepy.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:39 AM on April 21, 2011


I'm down with longboat internet detective squad.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:50 AM on April 21, 2011


Weird.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:54 AM on April 21, 2011


Results of the new test are sort of the opposite of the old - still vaguely generic, but in an unsettling way.
Diagnosis (Results shall always be mediated by analyst):

Mostly A's: An extremely insistent and determined individual who believes that unyielding belief is admirable. Client will strongly resist any sort of control or opposition and so may best be approached by agreeing with the most absurd of his or her beliefs, most of which will display a resentment at a lack of appreciation from others. Wants to be thought independent and will often be contradictory to prove it.

A sense of hopelessness permeates this individual, due to a percieved and thorough sense of personal failure. Feelings of self worth are ebbing and this results in a persistent quest to find affection from others. Problem avoidance is a very strong motivator.

Mostly Ds: This individual reacts to life's hardships by denying their effects and pretending that he or she is unshakable. A desire or need to prove him or herself superior among the company of others can lead this individual to appear overly cold or even cruel. Has much self control and independence. Best method of entry is to appeal to individual's pride.

This individual is finding little happiness or success in life at the moment and is drawn to impulsive behavior as a coping mechanism. Nevertheless, she or he will often disguise this behavior, being ashamed of it. Client is most likely easily frustrated at this point and can be very irritable.

I signed up on emissary.com, but did not email for "further testing" because I still can't do that from Gmail, stupid code.
posted by maryr at 7:54 AM on April 21, 2011


I'm not sure if the new test is broken or what, but I can't get past question 0. Nothing I click makes anything happen.
posted by adamdschneider at 7:57 AM on April 21, 2011


Check the source on the emisary page. The comments are weird/spacey.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:57 AM on April 21, 2011


Also, if you click "country select", then US it brings up a list of cities. If you click on one of the cities, the google maps window zooms to that city and random streets are highlighted in red. Cities that aren't on that list don't have anything like that.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:00 AM on April 21, 2011


In doing a little more digging, it seems there is a thread on this at UnFiction -- a major ARG forum. They don't have any further information than we do at this point, though. The "further testing" email is Waiting_for_Email@emisary.com.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:06 AM on April 21, 2011


adam - are you clicking the picture or the letters at the bottom?

thsmch - Do you mean the street names? I think that's jsut a zoom option. If you zoom in further more streets are red and I get red streets if I type in Boston then click on it.


Add'ly - at least 1 blog entry regarding Austrians not linked on that page and it's the last entry of the blog.
posted by maryr at 8:08 AM on April 21, 2011


maryr: oops, yeah I didn't notice that. The weird colors are threw me off. Disregard that! (the comments in the source are still weird though)
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:13 AM on April 21, 2011


I found a "donate" button and pressed it and woke up in a bathtub and there was ice in the bathtub and my back hurts.
posted by cortex at 8:14 AM on April 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


are you clicking the picture or the letters at the bottom?

Tried clicking all four buttons at the bottom multiple times, then clicked everywhere, in both Chrome and IE. Maybe I'm just not emisary.
posted by adamdschneider at 8:27 AM on April 21, 2011


I found a "feeds" button and pressed it and woke in the kitchen with a plate of liver and onions. Thanks, cortex!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:50 AM on April 21, 2011


These cookies are great!
posted by maryr at 8:59 AM on April 21, 2011


Weirdly, there is a brand new blog entry, promoting a book by "Richard Horton" - the blog previously promoted the same title by "Randy Horton".
posted by maryr at 10:12 AM on April 21, 2011


Horton: here's a Whois.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:17 AM on April 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


I skimmed the linked blog - mostly filler, with the occasional reference to the author being brainwashed/slowly going insane. Two things that jumped out:

1) Twice he closes an entry with, "These people are legitimate doctors doing valuable work." Creepy!

2) One post describes getting a phone call asking him to visit this website. Extra creepy!

Maybe I'm a sucker, but I'm tempted to fork over the $2.99 for the ebook promoted in the most recent blog post. This is awesomely sinister so far.
posted by superfluousm at 6:51 PM on April 21, 2011


Don't - the ebook appears to be available free online.
posted by maryr at 8:32 PM on April 21, 2011


Ha ha. Best fortune cookie ever!
posted by adamdschneider at 8:15 AM on April 22, 2011


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