Chicks With Steve Buscemi's Eyes.
April 9, 2011 9:16 AM   Subscribe

Chicks With Steve Buscemi's Eyes. Surprisingly horrifying.
posted by saladin (77 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
 
"Dude, she peed on your rug!?"
posted by Fizz at 9:17 AM on April 9, 2011


It looks like they've all been Zalgoed.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:20 AM on April 9, 2011 [4 favorites]


Proof that no one in your office is doing any work.
posted by The Whelk at 9:21 AM on April 9, 2011 [9 favorites]


ಠ_ಠ
posted by codacorolla at 9:21 AM on April 9, 2011 [17 favorites]


How is this "surprisingly" horrifying? Of course it is horrifying! I did not think "Hmm, I wonder if Kristen Stewart would be rendered more attractive by adding Steve Buschemi's eyes to her." Did you?
posted by NoraReed at 9:22 AM on April 9, 2011 [40 favorites]


Maybe you could read it as: "More horrifying than initially anticipated."
posted by codacorolla at 9:23 AM on April 9, 2011 [3 favorites]


Lady Gaga looks better.

I don't know what this means.
posted by black rainbows at 9:23 AM on April 9, 2011 [7 favorites]


Full of win.
posted by dougrayrankin at 9:24 AM on April 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


Britney Spears looks surprisingly just the same but a bit older and more concerned.
posted by fire&wings at 9:27 AM on April 9, 2011 [3 favorites]


Was sort of hoping for baby chickens.
posted by HeroZero at 9:27 AM on April 9, 2011 [10 favorites]


Is it weird that I'm legitimately impressed by how good some of these Photoshops are?
posted by HostBryan at 9:29 AM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


meh, call me back when we have chicks with Martin Van Buren's mutton chops.
posted by munchingzombie at 9:29 AM on April 9, 2011 [7 favorites]


All the boys

think she's a prize

she's got

Steve Buscemi Eyes.
posted by The Whelk at 9:32 AM on April 9, 2011 [60 favorites]


How is this "surprisingly" horrifying? Of course it is horrifying! I did not think "Hmm, I wonder if Kristen Stewart would be rendered more attractive by adding Steve Buschemi's eyes to her." Did you?

Oh come on, who hasn't?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:39 AM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


They're kinda funny-lookin'.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:41 AM on April 9, 2011 [14 favorites]


KStew kinda looks like Tommy Wiseau there.
posted by pxe2000 at 9:52 AM on April 9, 2011 [3 favorites]


Who or what is a Buscemi?
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:56 AM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Mining the uncanny valley.
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:59 AM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Exactly as I feared. Yet I looked at them all.
posted by tommasz at 10:01 AM on April 9, 2011


Disappointed that they're all shoops. I was expecting something like this.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:08 AM on April 9, 2011 [4 favorites]


The Kristen Stewart one looks like a guy who was in my high school drama club.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:14 AM on April 9, 2011


Disappointed that they're all shoops.

Ah, but they're not! In actual fact, these are all just mislabeled photographs of Russel Brand.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:21 AM on April 9, 2011 [4 favorites]


P.S.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:23 AM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Kristen Stewart completely has a J-Horror vibe to her here. This is fantastic, thank you for posting it!
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 10:40 AM on April 9, 2011




Interesting that LL is the only one whose face they fit reasonably well.
posted by flabdablet at 10:45 AM on April 9, 2011


Is this something I'd need a wood chipper to understand?
posted by meadowlark lime at 11:06 AM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


"They used to call me the chameleon because of my slender frame and big, wet eyes."
posted by anniecat at 11:07 AM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Nihilists with swords outside of the bowling alley. I watched snow glitter in the headlights near the North Dakota interstate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die.
posted by codacorolla at 11:19 AM on April 9, 2011 [6 favorites]


This is like anti-porn or something, as it effectively destroys the sexiness of any woman, no matter how actually attractive, in like NO SECONDS FLAT.


Also, how many bong hits do you need to do before you decide doing this is something the whole world needs to experience? That's the true issue here.
posted by Skygazer at 11:22 AM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I also can't stop imagining a whole mob of Buscemis fighting a single Scarlet Johansen trying to assimilate her, ala the the Burly Brawl.

Tell me, missus Johansen, what good is a cocktail dress when you have crows feet like these.

ok, ok, last post in this thread
posted by codacorolla at 11:27 AM on April 9, 2011


LOLCATS with Steve Buscemi's eyes in....


5...4...3...2....


CAN I HAZ WOODCHIPPER??
posted by Skygazer at 11:28 AM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Bieber with Buscemi eyes.
posted by knave at 11:49 AM on April 9, 2011 [4 favorites]


Kristen Stewart looks like a character out of Coraline or maybe Corpse Bride.
posted by Glinn at 11:54 AM on April 9, 2011


omg, gonna have nightmares about the Bieber thing. : /
posted by Glinn at 11:55 AM on April 9, 2011


I think these are exactly the right amount of horrifying.
posted by Cyrano at 12:04 PM on April 9, 2011


gottagetintothethreadreallyfasttomakethe"gaga looks better"jokebutIknowI'llhavetohurrybecause

shit
posted by Trochanter at 12:13 PM on April 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


I was really expecting actual people whose actual eyes resembled SB's. I can't decide if I am disappointed or happy. Some of those were magically disturbing.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 12:17 PM on April 9, 2011


Looks like they got the bridge of his nose too. I imagine that's an accurate depiction of what Snooki will look like in 18-24 months at her current rate of alcohol and UV consumption. Also, the Taylor Swift one is impeccable. Weird how adding his eyes/nose makes every face INTO Steve Buscemi.
posted by Existential Dread at 12:18 PM on April 9, 2011


What if one of my turn-ons is "over easy eyes"?
posted by Ron Thanagar at 12:22 PM on April 9, 2011


You can get to this same website via the URL puttingchicksfacesaroundstevebuscemiseyesmakesthem(theeyes)looklesslikeafriedeggsomehow.com
posted by DU at 12:27 PM on April 9, 2011


Katy Perry with Steve Buscemeyes and Katy Perry No Makeup... surprisingly congruent. I had no idea eye makeup could make so much difference.
posted by meehawl at 12:38 PM on April 9, 2011


Surprisingly horrifying.

They just look soulful to me.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:48 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Buscemi was a New York City fire fighter from 1980 to 1984, with Engine Company #55 in the Little Italy section of New York. After 9/11, he went back to his old station, geared up, and quietly went to work digging through the smoking ruins. He spent a week working 12-hour shifts. He refused to do interviews about it or have his picture taken, and hasn't really spoken publicly about it, except to say it was an honor for him to do it.

Every one of these women looks better for having as aspect of Steve Buscemi.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:56 PM on April 9, 2011 [33 favorites]


It could have been worse.
posted by Decani at 1:11 PM on April 9, 2011


Every one of these women looks better for having as aspect of Steve Buscemi.

When I rub one out, I like to superimpose Gandhi's nose and ears. Because heroes are innately hot.
posted by black rainbows at 1:34 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Looks like a bunch of tired women in their early thirties. I don't see what the big deal is.
posted by y2karl at 1:44 PM on April 9, 2011


Looks like a bunch of tired women in their early thirties. I don't see what the big deal is.

Do you live in Innsmouth by any chance?
posted by codacorolla at 2:33 PM on April 9, 2011 [15 favorites]


Somehow, having Buscemi eyes has called the rest of Paris Hilton's face into question.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 3:02 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Her lips look horribly malformed.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 3:12 PM on April 9, 2011


It must be weird to be Steve Buscemi and to see all this. You know, with his eyes.
posted by iamkimiam at 3:36 PM on April 9, 2011 [4 favorites]


My mother always said that eyes are the windows to Steve Buscemi
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 3:55 PM on April 9, 2011 [10 favorites]


Brit eu Spears + Steve Buscemi's eyes = Isabella Rosellini.
posted by steganographia at 4:10 PM on April 9, 2011


The meme police are already out in force.
posted by saturday_morning at 4:21 PM on April 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Every one of these women looks better for having as aspect of Steve Buscemi.
You're taking the Halo Effect way too far.
posted by roystgnr at 4:23 PM on April 9, 2011


Wow, Snooki was somehow made even uglier.
posted by zephyr_words at 4:27 PM on April 9, 2011




Drew Barrymore looks kind of like Susan Sarandon...
posted by rodgerd at 5:00 PM on April 9, 2011


Buscemi was a New York City fire fighter from 1980 to 1984, with Engine Company #55 in the Little Italy section of New York. After 9/11, he went back to his old station, geared up, and quietly went to work digging through the smoking ruins. He spent a week working 12-hour shifts. He refused to do interviews about it or have his picture taken, and hasn't really spoken publicly about it, except to say it was an honor for him to do it.

Indeed, and it was via his appearance on a 9/11 telethon that the world finally learned, once and for all, straight from the horse's mouth, that the man's name is pronounced "boo-SEM-ee." (Of course, the world would collectively disregard this information and continue to say "boo-SHEM-ee.")

(It's all good, though, just so long as we are all agreed that Denis Leary's name rhymes with penis...)
posted by Sys Rq at 5:48 PM on April 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


Something about these pictures is, I dunno ...out of it's element.
posted by sourwookie at 6:12 PM on April 9, 2011


The meme police are already out in force.

The meme police, they live inside of my head.
The meme police, they come to me in my bed.
posted by Jimbob at 6:20 PM on April 9, 2011


What kind of a sick mind...?
posted by Mental Wimp at 6:27 PM on April 9, 2011


it looks like they all just got off a year long meth binge.
posted by XhaustedProphet at 6:41 PM on April 9, 2011


it looks like they all just got off a year long meth binge.

Having Steve Buscemi eyes isn't normal.*
But on meth, it is.
*unless you're Steve Buscemi.

posted by neckro23 at 7:02 PM on April 9, 2011


I thought Drew Barrymore with Steve Buscemeyes was strangely entrancing. Should I seek help?
posted by nola at 7:30 PM on April 9, 2011


Same result, different search.
posted by Scram at 8:59 PM on April 9, 2011


....must purchase eye make-up tomorrow....
posted by Poet_Lariat at 10:32 PM on April 9, 2011


...Why does this exist?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:16 PM on April 9, 2011


...Why does this exist?

Rule 34.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:18 PM on April 9, 2011




The Magnum Bifurcation

Oh god. Why did I click on that?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:48 AM on April 10, 2011


Buscemi '96, actually good lookin'!
posted by Tom-B at 1:51 PM on April 10, 2011


Celebrities Without Eyebrows is somehow even scarier. Anne Hathaway turns into something that lives under a bridge.
posted by puny human at 6:02 PM on April 10, 2011


Maybe I ought to send that last link to Dennis Kucinich.
posted by flabdablet at 12:20 AM on April 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Astro Zombie: "Buscemi was a New York City fire fighter from 1980 to 1984, with Engine Company #55 in the Little Italy section of New York. After 9/11, he went back to his old station, geared up, and quietly went to work digging through the smoking ruins. He spent a week working 12-hour shifts. He refused to do interviews about it or have his picture taken, and hasn't really spoken publicly about it, except to say it was an honor for him to do it."

citation

like everything on the internet, I took this with a grain of salt and wanted to confirm it, and this is a cool story
posted by I am the Walrus at 6:19 AM on April 11, 2011


Whoa. Miley Cyrus looks like Bill Clinton.
posted by deborah at 4:09 PM on April 11, 2011


Dennis Kucinich with and without Mitt Romney's eyebrows
posted by flabdablet at 5:41 PM on April 11, 2011


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