Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. I exist, and I find it nauseating.
April 27, 2011 7:26 AM   Subscribe

What would have happened if a science fiction classic had been written by the father of French philosophy? Existential Star Wars. Extra special bonus: a little girl feels the power of the dark side.
posted by scalefree (24 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
What's the point ?
posted by nicolin at 7:30 AM on April 27, 2011 [4 favorites]

I liked it, but I was hoping it would be like the first scene of Le Samourai; Darth Vader lying about his apartment, with his distinctive breathing in place of cigarette smoke.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:31 AM on April 27, 2011 [5 favorites]

That second link is great. Thanks !
posted by nicolin at 7:33 AM on April 27, 2011

Yeah, love the happy storm-troopers.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:35 AM on April 27, 2011

What's amusing to me in the first link is that it's really a very short leap from George Lucas to Ingmar Bergman et al -- just add overwrought dialogue.
posted by HeroZero at 7:37 AM on April 27, 2011

2nd link is a double
posted by thanotopsis at 7:38 AM on April 27, 2011

Rene Descartes will be disappointed to learn that Sartre is the father of French philosophy. And let's not even bother poor Abelard with the news...
posted by steambadger at 7:40 AM on April 27, 2011 [11 favorites]

"Luke! I am still dead!"
posted by Think_Long at 7:58 AM on April 27, 2011

"Uncle Ben and Aunt Beru died today. Or yesterday, I don't know."
posted by Bromius at 8:08 AM on April 27, 2011 [11 favorites]

"As Han Solo awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a womp rat."
posted by cortex at 8:30 AM on April 27, 2011 [3 favorites]

That little girl has quite the future in politics.
posted by mecran01 at 8:45 AM on April 27, 2011

The little girl is a double but she's interviewed.
posted by DU at 8:49 AM on April 27, 2011

I love how "AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!" translates to "Nothingness! I embrace you!"
posted by owtytrof at 8:56 AM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

French is a very elegant language that way.
posted by Naberius at 9:06 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is far better than the original. Thoughtful, insightful, offering no answers, speaking only truth. "Pain, Anguish, Nothingness -- I embrace you." So much more relevant than "Let The Force Be With You". There are in fact two forces. Chaos and Inertia and all human consciousness is but the incidental heat caused by the friction of their colliding.

I look forward to how the Ewoks will figure in this superior re-imagining of long ago and far away.
posted by philip-random at 9:29 AM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Crash landed on Tatooine:

C3P0: "We are alone, abandoned in the midst of infinite possibilities...all actions are equivalent and in principle doomed to failure. It is certain that we cannot escape anguish, for we ARE anguish."

R2D2: "Life begins on the other side of despair."

I really like that sequence. It would be perfectly in character for both of them had they been written as something other than comic relief. I'm also impressed that they found a subtitler who speaks Beep-boop.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 9:45 AM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'm putting screenshots of those scenes on my cubicle wall.
posted by thefool at 10:36 AM on April 27, 2011

I'll have to drag out my copy of "Can Dialectics Break Bricks" now and watch it for the umpteenth time. Them Frenchies can sure détourné a film real good!

And Darth Sartre was only too right...hell is other people.
posted by pdxjmorris at 11:57 AM on April 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

Perhaps the single geekiest (or, at least, science fiction in-jokiest) book I own is Alternate Skiffy, which includes a story about the Clarion Writers' Workshop as taught by the couple who founded it... Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir.
posted by Zed at 12:51 PM on April 27, 2011

So, the Force, Being-in-itself or Being-for-itself?
posted by fallingbadgers at 1:41 PM on April 27, 2011

en soi, definitely.
posted by kenko at 1:44 PM on April 27, 2011

I leave Palpatine at the foot of the Death Star! One always finds one's burden again. But Palpatine teaches the higher fidelity that negates the planets and raises space stations. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that orbital death laser, each mineral flake of that night-filled weapon, in itself forms a world. The struggle itself toward building it is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Palpatine happy.
posted by nathan v at 3:21 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

"Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. I exist, and I find it nauseating."

The funniest thing I've read in a long time.
posted by philipy at 6:16 PM on April 27, 2011

Ceci n'est pas une lune.
posted by Hexaemeron at 6:20 PM on April 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

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