"Next to the originator of a good sentence is the first quoter of it." — Emerson
May 3, 2011 11:35 AM Subscribe
"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy." In the wake of bin Laden's killing, partially fabricated misquotations were circulated widely via Twitter and Facebook.
The above sentence is still being misattributed to Martin Luther King in thousands of cut-and-pasted status updates. Its point of origin has been found — and, interestingly, the original author clearly separated her own words from King's. The quotation marks were moved by some later poster.
The above sentence is still being misattributed to Martin Luther King in thousands of cut-and-pasted status updates. Its point of origin has been found — and, interestingly, the original author clearly separated her own words from King's. The quotation marks were moved by some later poster.
I figured this was going to be about that Mark Twain/Clarence Darrow obituary-reading thing.
posted by box at 11:37 AM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by box at 11:37 AM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
I ended up with all kinds of folks posting this quote (or variations on it) in my facebook feed, and no one posting the kind of (allegedly widespread) revelry this quote was protesting.
posted by availablelight at 11:40 AM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by availablelight at 11:40 AM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
"Never trust any quote you see on the Internet" - Abraham Lincoln.
posted by longbaugh at 11:40 AM on May 3, 2011 [153 favorites]
posted by longbaugh at 11:40 AM on May 3, 2011 [153 favorites]
Pretty easy to see how the mistake was made. Those quotes are hard to notice with no whitespace and look like a mistake once you do notice them.
posted by DU at 11:40 AM on May 3, 2011
posted by DU at 11:40 AM on May 3, 2011
"What's taters?"
- Gollumposted by blue_beetle at 11:40 AM on May 3, 2011 [13 favorites] So through facebook we inadvertently dragged MLK Jr. into the Osama Bin Laden death news cycle.. the future is so fucking ridiculous.
posted by pwally at 11:41 AM on May 3, 2011 [11 favorites]
posted by pwally at 11:41 AM on May 3, 2011 [11 favorites]
"Dude, I never said half the shit people attribute to my name, lolz"
— Mark Twain, General at the Battle of Yavin
posted by Senor Cardgage at 11:42 AM on May 3, 2011 [38 favorites]
— Mark Twain, General at the Battle of Yavin
posted by Senor Cardgage at 11:42 AM on May 3, 2011 [38 favorites]
"Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. will have some good ideas." - Theodore Roosevelt
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 11:42 AM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 11:42 AM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
neo-pagan spiritual winnowing. It's only a matter of time before this kind of `happenstance` evolves into elaborate cultural awareness.
posted by kuatto at 11:44 AM on May 3, 2011
posted by kuatto at 11:44 AM on May 3, 2011
If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.
* Dorothy Parker in A Pig's-Eye View of Literature (1937)
posted by The Whelk at 11:45 AM on May 3, 2011 [17 favorites]
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.
* Dorothy Parker in A Pig's-Eye View of Literature (1937)
posted by The Whelk at 11:45 AM on May 3, 2011 [17 favorites]
"Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. will have some good ideas." - Theodore Roosevelt
"You'd think so."
— Malcolm X
posted by the mad poster! at 11:46 AM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"You'd think so."
— Malcolm X
posted by the mad poster! at 11:46 AM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Either these curtains go or I do." Oscar bin Laden
posted by entropicamericana at 11:46 AM on May 3, 2011 [19 favorites]
posted by entropicamericana at 11:46 AM on May 3, 2011 [19 favorites]
"People who use unattributable and obviously made-up quotes to make some clever point on the internet are the absolute worst." - Anonymous
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 11:46 AM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 11:46 AM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
no, see, it's okay to piss on THIS grave, because here, HERE lies a BAD GUY
posted by LogicalDash at 11:47 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by LogicalDash at 11:47 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
Is this thread turning into a Robert Asprin book?
posted by wildcrdj at 11:47 AM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by wildcrdj at 11:47 AM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
A non-existent quote fabricated by a notorious libertarian blowhard which was then endlessly retweeted by a chorus of disapporving Eeyores in order to shame a mostly non-existent group of bin laden celebrants?
I can't find a single element here that doesn't irritate me.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:49 AM on May 3, 2011 [32 favorites]
I can't find a single element here that doesn't irritate me.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:49 AM on May 3, 2011 [32 favorites]
Yeah, frankly, King was a great orator steeped in the poetic tradition of black preaching ("in the words of the old Negro spiritual...") and the poetic structure of the Bible ("and... and... and..."), and that "King" quote is just too clunky and awkward to be authentic King.
posted by orthogonality at 11:49 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by orthogonality at 11:49 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"The fabrication of Oscar Wilde quotes is among the noblest of endeavors"
-- Oscar Wilde
posted by Standeck at 11:49 AM on May 3, 2011 [11 favorites]
-- Oscar Wilde
posted by Standeck at 11:49 AM on May 3, 2011 [11 favorites]
It's worth noting that Uncyclopedia continues to be a great resource for fabricated quotes.
posted by The White Hat at 11:50 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by The White Hat at 11:50 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
I shouldn't say "frabricated," but it seems Penn Jillette was the first (or among the forst) to glue the quote to Martin Luther King's name.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:51 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:51 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
if that's a Dorothy Parker quote, the Oscar she's referring to is Levant.
posted by klapaucius at 11:51 AM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by klapaucius at 11:51 AM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
I shouldn't say "frabricated" because it's not a real word.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:51 AM on May 3, 2011 [19 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:51 AM on May 3, 2011 [19 favorites]
In fact, that quote was originally written by Scott Adams, a man I've never had the distinct pleasure of meeting, but who (I'm reliably informed) tosses off bon mots like this several times a day.
posted by PlusDistance at 11:52 AM on May 3, 2011
posted by PlusDistance at 11:52 AM on May 3, 2011
"Angry racist thing" - Andy Rooney
posted by msbutah at 11:52 AM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
posted by msbutah at 11:52 AM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
"Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but the living room in your fortified compound. "
-- Kurt Vonnegut
posted by benzenedream at 11:54 AM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
-- Kurt Vonnegut
posted by benzenedream at 11:54 AM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
I just figured the quote was from that Kurt Vonnegut commencement address.
posted by bondcliff at 11:54 AM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by bondcliff at 11:54 AM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
Frabicating embiggens the cromulent soul. -- The Iliad.
posted by kmz at 11:55 AM on May 3, 2011 [27 favorites]
posted by kmz at 11:55 AM on May 3, 2011 [27 favorites]
I never said most of the things I said.
Yogi Berra
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 11:56 AM on May 3, 2011
Yogi Berra
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 11:56 AM on May 3, 2011
Salon's saying that the signs point to Penn Jillette.
posted by Sir Cholmondeley at 11:57 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Sir Cholmondeley at 11:57 AM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"Wear sunscreen" - Count Dracula
posted by longbaugh at 11:57 AM on May 3, 2011 [11 favorites]
posted by longbaugh at 11:57 AM on May 3, 2011 [11 favorites]
Pretend you're sympathetic to bin Laden and read these actual King quotes.
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:57 AM on May 3, 2011 [9 favorites]
A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.
Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted.I agree with the sentiment that people were trying to express with the misquote. But using quips to suggest that a historical figure agrees with your position on a current events topic isn't thoughtful.
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:57 AM on May 3, 2011 [9 favorites]
I ended up with all kinds of folks posting this quote (or variations on it) in my facebook feed, and no one posting the kind of (allegedly widespread) revelry this quote was protesting.
I think most of the revelry was last night and the night before, and mostly limited to Twitter.
It's a pretty typical American response cycle, IMO - everyone gets all excited, then everyone starts seeing everyone else being excited so they start in with the chastizing. Then we'll start chastizing the people who chastized, and so on and so on until the next news cycle makes us forget the previous one.
posted by muddgirl at 12:00 PM on May 3, 2011 [12 favorites]
I think most of the revelry was last night and the night before, and mostly limited to Twitter.
It's a pretty typical American response cycle, IMO - everyone gets all excited, then everyone starts seeing everyone else being excited so they start in with the chastizing. Then we'll start chastizing the people who chastized, and so on and so on until the next news cycle makes us forget the previous one.
posted by muddgirl at 12:00 PM on May 3, 2011 [12 favorites]
neo-pagan spiritual winnowing.
That sounds exactly like something Penn Jillette would do.
posted by DU at 12:01 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
That sounds exactly like something Penn Jillette would do.
posted by DU at 12:01 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
I am going to have to be strong in resisting my urge to make up attributions just to see how far they'll fly on FaceBook.
posted by everichon at 12:02 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by everichon at 12:02 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
I had several friends show up with that King quote in their FB status, but only one of them corrected herself later.
posted by immlass at 12:02 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by immlass at 12:02 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
I agree with the sentiment that people were trying to express with the misquote. But using quips to suggest that a historical figure agrees with your position on a current events topic isn't thoughtful.
Church is always right.
-- St. Peter
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:02 PM on May 3, 2011
Church is always right.
-- St. Peter
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:02 PM on May 3, 2011
I love how this misattributed MLK quote has been misattributed to Penn Jillette. META!
posted by m@f at 12:03 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by m@f at 12:03 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
using quips to suggest that a historical figure agrees with your position on a current events topic isn't thoughtful.
It's Facebook, so the usual standards for "thoughtful" don't apply. Anyway, I'm more interested in the sentiment people are trying to express than where they think it came from.
posted by hermitosis at 12:04 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
It's Facebook, so the usual standards for "thoughtful" don't apply. Anyway, I'm more interested in the sentiment people are trying to express than where they think it came from.
posted by hermitosis at 12:04 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
It's Facebook, so the usual standards for "thoughtful" don't apply.
If you agree with this statement post this as your comment. I know all my friends will do so.
posted by bondcliff at 12:06 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
If you agree with this statement post this as your comment. I know all my friends will do so.
posted by bondcliff at 12:06 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Never trust any quote you see on the Internet" - Abraham Lincoln.
posted by longbaugh at 2:40 PM on May 3 [13 favorites +] [!]
Speaking of misattributed quotes:
As Abraham Lincoln once said: “On the Internet, nobody knows you’re not quoting Martin Luther King, Jr.”
posted by DU at 12:07 PM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by longbaugh at 2:40 PM on May 3 [13 favorites +] [!]
Speaking of misattributed quotes:
As Abraham Lincoln once said: “On the Internet, nobody knows you’re not quoting Martin Luther King, Jr.”
posted by DU at 12:07 PM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
“The only thing worse than have quotes made up for you is not to be talked about at all."
--Oscar Wilde
posted by Obscure Reference at 12:08 PM on May 3, 2011
--Oscar Wilde
posted by Obscure Reference at 12:08 PM on May 3, 2011
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD AND SKULLS FOR HIS THRONE
--Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by everichon at 12:10 PM on May 3, 2011 [58 favorites]
--Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by everichon at 12:10 PM on May 3, 2011 [58 favorites]
Never trust a big butt and an internet quote.
- Bell Biv Devoe
posted by weston at 12:11 PM on May 3, 2011
- Bell Biv Devoe
posted by weston at 12:11 PM on May 3, 2011
"Misattributions.tumblr.com is a collection of completely untrue quotations." - Benjamin Franklin
Full disclosure: I help write for the website.
posted by J.D. Eightyseven at 12:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
Full disclosure: I help write for the website.
posted by J.D. Eightyseven at 12:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"I drank what?" - Socrates
If you drank something and you don't know what it was, be it kool-aid or hemlok, retweet this and set your facebook page status to this otherwise you aren't supporting our troops and aren't a real American.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
If you drank something and you don't know what it was, be it kool-aid or hemlok, retweet this and set your facebook page status to this otherwise you aren't supporting our troops and aren't a real American.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
"I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled." - Barack HUSSEIN Obama.
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Behind every great man there stands a great woman; Behind every great woman is a great behind."
--Bill Clinton
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:16 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
--Bill Clinton
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:16 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
kuatto: neo-pagan spiritual winnowing. It's only a matter of time before this kind of `happenstance` evolves into elaborate cultural awareness.
What?
posted by spaltavian at 12:16 PM on May 3, 2011
What?
posted by spaltavian at 12:16 PM on May 3, 2011
I have it on good authority that the original quote is actually from a George Carlin routine.
posted by jsnlxndrlv at 12:16 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by jsnlxndrlv at 12:16 PM on May 3, 2011
"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am drunk, I contain quaaludes." —Walt Whitman
posted by cortex at 12:16 PM on May 3, 2011 [58 favorites]
posted by cortex at 12:16 PM on May 3, 2011 [58 favorites]
"Some of my best friends are Oscar Wilde" - Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by joe lisboa at 12:19 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by joe lisboa at 12:19 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"The excess of fat on your American bones, will cushion the fall as you sink like a stone." Neil Finn.
Somehow I think I've done this wrong.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 12:19 PM on May 3, 2011
Somehow I think I've done this wrong.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 12:19 PM on May 3, 2011
Jesus never actually farted. -St. Paul
posted by uraniumwilly at 12:22 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by uraniumwilly at 12:22 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Be the change you wish you had in your pockets" - Alan Greenspan.
posted by oddman at 12:22 PM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
posted by oddman at 12:22 PM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear." -- Judah Ben-Hur
posted by Gator at 12:23 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by Gator at 12:23 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
First of all, why are people blaming Penn Jillette when clearly Jessica Dovey came up with the phrase? Somewhere along the line people mixed her statement and her king quote. It's right there in the FPP. How are people getting this wrong?
posted by delmoi at 12:24 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
I agree with the sentiment that people were trying to express with the misquote. But using quips to suggest that a historical figure agrees with your position on a current events topic isn't thoughtful.MLK was pretty much as opposed to violence as you can get.
posted by delmoi at 12:24 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"I'm Chevy Chase and you're not." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 12:24 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 12:24 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"I once killed a man for snoring too loudly." --Gandhi
posted by perhapses at 12:24 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by perhapses at 12:24 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
First of all, why are people blaming Penn Jillette when clearly Jessica Dovey came up with the phrase? Somewhere along the line people mixed her statement and her king quote. It's right there in the FPP. How are people getting this wrong?
People are blaming Jillette for (allegedly) being one of the first people to attribute that phrase to MLK. Not for making it up himself.
posted by inigo2 at 12:27 PM on May 3, 2011
People are blaming Jillette for (allegedly) being one of the first people to attribute that phrase to MLK. Not for making it up himself.
posted by inigo2 at 12:27 PM on May 3, 2011
"No matter what a stripper tells you, there's no sex in the Champagne Room." - Jesus of Nazareth
posted by nooneyouknow at 12:29 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by nooneyouknow at 12:29 PM on May 3, 2011
'Hail to the King, baby.'
-- The Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:30 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
-- The Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:30 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
"Facebook is the most appalling spy machine that has ever been invented" -- Alan Turing
posted by localroger at 12:31 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by localroger at 12:31 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
"Rumors of my wit have been greatly exaggerated"
-- Mark Twain
posted by schmod at 12:32 PM on May 3, 2011
-- Mark Twain
posted by schmod at 12:32 PM on May 3, 2011
"Dap DAP. dap dap DAP DAP! DAP!
Martian Invader
posted by otolith at 12:35 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
Martian Invader
posted by otolith at 12:35 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
...I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy." In the wake of bin Laden's killing, partially fabricated misquotations...
Read that too fast. Thought it was about not killing mosquitoes.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:35 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
Read that too fast. Thought it was about not killing mosquitoes.
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:35 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
The words that came to me were:
"Every man's death diminishes me."
A bit of googling revealed I had it wrong. The proper quote c/o John Donne:
"any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee."
Or the even longer version:
"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee."
Rave on John Donne ...
posted by philip-random at 12:36 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
"Every man's death diminishes me."
A bit of googling revealed I had it wrong. The proper quote c/o John Donne:
"any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee."
Or the even longer version:
"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee."
Rave on John Donne ...
posted by philip-random at 12:36 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
I call dibs on "Partially Fabricated Mosquitos" as a band name.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 12:38 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Threeway Handshake at 12:38 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"I heartily endorse this event or product." - Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofski
posted by blaneyphoto at 12:39 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by blaneyphoto at 12:39 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"2 million people will misquote me on Facebook, but most of them won't drag their lazy ass out bed to go vote." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:39 PM on May 3, 2011 [21 favorites]
posted by octobersurprise at 12:39 PM on May 3, 2011 [21 favorites]
"A fish in the bush is worth two in the pants." - Benjamin Franklin
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 12:40 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 12:40 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
"Dreaming men are haunted men."
M. Night Shyamalan
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:41 PM on May 3, 2011
M. Night Shyamalan
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:41 PM on May 3, 2011
"I am a rock, I am an iiiiiisland." ---Krakoa
posted by entropicamericana at 12:41 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by entropicamericana at 12:41 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting."
-- Abraham Lincoln
posted by jenkinsEar at 12:43 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
-- Abraham Lincoln
posted by jenkinsEar at 12:43 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
-Amelia Earhart
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:43 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
-Amelia Earhart
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:43 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
"As a founding father, I would be appalled by any politician you dislike if I were alive in your time." - Thomas Jefferson
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:43 PM on May 3, 2011 [18 favorites]
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:43 PM on May 3, 2011 [18 favorites]
“Tonight I can report to the American people and the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden." -- George W. Bush
posted by whimsicalnymph at 12:44 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by whimsicalnymph at 12:44 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
"A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?"
-Farm Fresh Girl
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:45 PM on May 3, 2011
-Farm Fresh Girl
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:45 PM on May 3, 2011
This made my head hurt: "Eventually, the mangled quotation somehow came to the attention of Penn Jillette, of Penn and Teller fame. He tweeted it to his 1.6 million Facebook followers, and the rest was internet history."
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 12:47 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 12:47 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age. - Adolf Hitler
posted by Godwin Interjection at 12:47 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by Godwin Interjection at 12:47 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
"THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!" ~Meatbomb
posted by zarq at 12:48 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by zarq at 12:48 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
- Adolf Hitler
posted by Godwin Interjection at 3:47 PM on May 3
Epony- nah, too easy.
posted by zarq at 12:49 PM on May 3, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by Godwin Interjection at 3:47 PM on May 3
Epony- nah, too easy.
posted by zarq at 12:49 PM on May 3, 2011 [7 favorites]
My favorite viral fake quote is the one attributed to Abraham Lincoln, but actually said 300 years later, after, Captain Kirk and the U.S.S. Enterprise found a simulcrum of Lincoln floating in space.
"There's no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. There is nothing good in war. Except its ending."
posted by Victorvacendak at 12:50 PM on May 3, 2011
"There's no honorable way to kill, no gentle way to destroy. There is nothing good in war. Except its ending."
posted by Victorvacendak at 12:50 PM on May 3, 2011
"You're the man now, dog!" - Nicholas Cage
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:53 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:53 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"Laugh loudly and carry a big stick of butter."
-Paula Deen
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:54 PM on May 3, 2011 [7 favorites]
-Paula Deen
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:54 PM on May 3, 2011 [7 favorites]
'Google' - Ron Paul
posted by shakespeherian at 12:55 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by shakespeherian at 12:55 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Laugh loudly and carry ride a big stick of butter."
-Paula Deen
posted by aught at 12:56 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
-Paula Deen
posted by aught at 12:56 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"We should put a creepy eye thing on our money just to troll future generations of conspiracy nuts." - Benjamin Franklin
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:58 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:58 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
"Whose on first are belong to us." Abbott Costello
posted by cottoncandybeard at 12:59 PM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
posted by cottoncandybeard at 12:59 PM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
"If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit"
- Mitch Hedburg
posted by randomkeystrike at 12:59 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
- Mitch Hedburg
posted by randomkeystrike at 12:59 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"I can see Russia from my house."
- Vladimir Putin
posted by brain_drain at 12:59 PM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
- Vladimir Putin
posted by brain_drain at 12:59 PM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
"Do we use the term intervention? Do we use war? Do we use squirmish? What is it?" - Winston Churchill
posted by phaedon at 1:03 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by phaedon at 1:03 PM on May 3, 2011
It's a pretty typical American response cycle, IMO - everyone gets all excited, then everyone starts seeing everyone else being excited so they start in with the chastizing. Then we'll start chastizing the people who chastized, and so on and so on until the next news cycle makes us forget the previous one.
Happens in the UK as well. It may well be human nature. Twitter is great for polarising and forming tribes in nanoseconds.
posted by Summer at 1:03 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
Happens in the UK as well. It may well be human nature. Twitter is great for polarising and forming tribes in nanoseconds.
posted by Summer at 1:03 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false!
- Rush Limbaugh
posted by Naberius at 1:03 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
- Rush Limbaugh
posted by Naberius at 1:03 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit"
- Mitch Hedburg
UR DOIN IT RONG
posted by longbaugh at 1:04 PM on May 3, 2011
- Mitch Hedburg
UR DOIN IT RONG
posted by longbaugh at 1:04 PM on May 3, 2011
Eh, I don't construct my personal morality from quotes and soundbites anyway, whether they're real or fake, or whether they're said by somebody famous or some drunk down the pub. I think for myself.
posted by Decani at 1:06 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by Decani at 1:06 PM on May 3, 2011
A creepy and mildly humorous anecdote.
-- Stephen King
posted by shakespeherian at 1:06 PM on May 3, 2011
-- Stephen King
posted by shakespeherian at 1:06 PM on May 3, 2011
"Revenge is a dish best served cold. It is very cold in space."
-Siddhārtha Gautama
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:08 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
-Siddhārtha Gautama
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:08 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"I don't construct my personal morality from quotes and soundbites anyway, whether they're real or fake, or whether they're said by somebody famous or some drunk down the pub. I think for myself."
-- Decani
posted by benzenedream at 1:10 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
-- Decani
posted by benzenedream at 1:10 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
-John McCain
posted by phaedon at 1:11 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
-John McCain
posted by phaedon at 1:11 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
I don't construct my personal morality from quotes and soundbites anyway
Whether they're real or fake,
Or whether they're said by somebody famous or some drunk down the pub.
I think for myself.
Burma-Shave.
-- Nick Denton
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
Whether they're real or fake,
Or whether they're said by somebody famous or some drunk down the pub.
I think for myself.
Burma-Shave.
-- Nick Denton
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"This is not a quote." -a pipe
posted by phaedon at 1:13 PM on May 3, 2011 [17 favorites]
posted by phaedon at 1:13 PM on May 3, 2011 [17 favorites]
"Yes, we are all different!" - Crowd
"I'm not!" - Man in Crowd
posted by Errant at 1:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"I'm not!" - Man in Crowd
posted by Errant at 1:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
I can't find a single element here that doesn't irritate me.
- Dmitri Mendeleev
posted by longbaugh at 1:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
- Dmitri Mendeleev
posted by longbaugh at 1:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
"Baby Got Back"--Pope Benedict XVI
posted by stormpooper at 1:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by stormpooper at 1:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"The most totally awesome thing we can, like, experience is sooo mysterious. It's the real deal. If you don't get that, like, not even for a second, and just be all 'Whooa, dude,' you must be totally wasted." - Paris Hilton
posted by perhapses at 1:14 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by perhapses at 1:14 PM on May 3, 2011
"In space, no one can hear you because your microphone is dead."
-Ground Control to Major Tom
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:17 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
-Ground Control to Major Tom
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:17 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"That's not a quote! This is a quote!"
-- Crocodile Dundee
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:20 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
-- Crocodile Dundee
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:20 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
"The only thing we have to fear is sentient spiders."
-Franklin D. Roosevelt's Head Groundskeeper
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:20 PM on May 3, 2011 [13 favorites]
-Franklin D. Roosevelt's Head Groundskeeper
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:20 PM on May 3, 2011 [13 favorites]
"All six of my nipples are tingling with delight!"
-The Whelk
posted by loquacious at 1:21 PM on May 3, 2011 [9 favorites]
-The Whelk
posted by loquacious at 1:21 PM on May 3, 2011 [9 favorites]
"The inability of Sony to properly protect millions of PlayStation Network accounts is still another sign in the problems manifest in private control of personal information." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by Snyder at 1:21 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Snyder at 1:21 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
Decani: "Eh, I still construct my personal morality from quotes and soundbites anyway, whether they're real or fake, or whether they're said by somebody famous or some drunk down the pub. I think for myself."
posted by zarq at 1:22 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by zarq at 1:22 PM on May 3, 2011
"Look at all the lonely people; where do they all come from?"
-- Calvin Coolidge
posted by grubi at 1:23 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
-- Calvin Coolidge
posted by grubi at 1:23 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"I have a dream! It's not safe for work."
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:24 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:24 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
We'll give him more than chains. He's always been king of his world, but we'll teach him fear. We're millionaires, boys. I'll share it with all of you. Why, in a few months, it'll be up in lights on Broadway: Kong, the Eighth Wonder of the World.
-- Dick Cheney
posted by shakespeherian at 1:26 PM on May 3, 2011
-- Dick Cheney
posted by shakespeherian at 1:26 PM on May 3, 2011
"Imagine no religion. It's easy if you try." -- Pope Benedict XVI
posted by birdherder at 1:26 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by birdherder at 1:26 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
Will somebody make up a Metafilter BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD AND SKULLS FOR HIS THRONE t-shirt? Maybe a black shirt with white ink, kinda heavy-metal looking?
Because I would buy the fuck out of it.
posted by box at 1:28 PM on May 3, 2011 [7 favorites]
Because I would buy the fuck out of it.
posted by box at 1:28 PM on May 3, 2011 [7 favorites]
Because you'd probably get a C&D order from Games Workshop 5 minutes afterwards.
posted by longbaugh at 1:31 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by longbaugh at 1:31 PM on May 3, 2011
"It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue." - Thomas Edison
posted by dywypi at 1:31 PM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by dywypi at 1:31 PM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
"Five elements ought to be enough for anybody." - Plato
posted by mccarty.tim at 1:35 PM on May 3, 2011 [13 favorites]
posted by mccarty.tim at 1:35 PM on May 3, 2011 [13 favorites]
"I like big butts and I cannot lie." -- Benjamin Franklin
posted by MegoSteve at 1:35 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by MegoSteve at 1:35 PM on May 3, 2011
"I am a stupid poop-face who is wasting his life" - The Whelk.
posted by The Bizzaro Whelk at 1:38 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by The Bizzaro Whelk at 1:38 PM on May 3, 2011
"I like a pig. A dog looks up to you, a cat looks down on you but a pig can be turned into bacon."
- H. Simpson
posted by doctor_negative at 1:42 PM on May 3, 2011
- H. Simpson
posted by doctor_negative at 1:42 PM on May 3, 2011
"An ounce of prevention is worth twenty dollars. Same as in town."
-Benjamin Herpes
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:42 PM on May 3, 2011 [7 favorites]
-Benjamin Herpes
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:42 PM on May 3, 2011 [7 favorites]
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me- you can't get fooled again." Roger Daltrey
posted by cottoncandybeard at 1:54 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by cottoncandybeard at 1:54 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
"Turtles, all the way down!" - God
posted by wayofthedodo at 1:55 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by wayofthedodo at 1:55 PM on May 3, 2011
"It was as if a million voices cried out and were suddenly silenced."
-Anonymous Amazon.com Executive
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:55 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
-Anonymous Amazon.com Executive
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:55 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
All you base are belong to us - Alexander the Great
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 1:58 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 1:58 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"Moved down to Scarsdale / Where the hell am I / Hey Nineteen"
-Eliot Spitzer
posted by phaedon at 1:59 PM on May 3, 2011
-Eliot Spitzer
posted by phaedon at 1:59 PM on May 3, 2011
"Rocks fall, everyone dies."
- George R. R. Martin
posted by cereselle at 2:02 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
- George R. R. Martin
posted by cereselle at 2:02 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
Like Stee Moanin' Ludlow
Rap a tee take a man
and send my own
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
posted by everichon at 2:04 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
Rap a tee take a man
and send my own
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
posted by everichon at 2:04 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you."
-- Albert Einstein
posted by benzenedream at 2:08 PM on May 3, 2011
-- Albert Einstein
posted by benzenedream at 2:08 PM on May 3, 2011
"So you gave us your birth certificate. How come you can't give us Osama bin Laden?"
-- Donald Trump, May 1, 2011
posted by chemoboy at 2:08 PM on May 3, 2011 [10 favorites]
-- Donald Trump, May 1, 2011
posted by chemoboy at 2:08 PM on May 3, 2011 [10 favorites]
"It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by Agnew." - Richard Milhaüs Nixon
posted by joe lisboa at 2:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [13 favorites]
posted by joe lisboa at 2:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [13 favorites]
"Ken Lee, Tulibu dibu douchoo." -- Mariah Carey
posted by Gator at 2:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Gator at 2:12 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Thanks for supplying my next month of status updates."
-Charlton Heston
posted by Scoo at 2:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
-Charlton Heston
posted by Scoo at 2:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"I'll create a GUI interface in Visual Basic, see if I can track an IP address."
- PSN engineer
posted by Errant at 2:16 PM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
- PSN engineer
posted by Errant at 2:16 PM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
Will somebody make up a Metafilter BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD AND SKULLS FOR HIS THRONE t-shirt? Maybe a black shirt with white ink, kinda heavy-metal looking?
Best I could do in five minutes.
posted by gwint at 2:21 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
Best I could do in five minutes.
posted by gwint at 2:21 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Arioch! Arioch! Blood and Souls for my Lord Arioch!"
-Gloria Steinem
posted by Scoo at 2:22 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
-Gloria Steinem
posted by Scoo at 2:22 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
As much as I love Oolong, I think the shirt would work better with a line drawing of mathowie in his bicycle helmet.
posted by Gator at 2:24 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by Gator at 2:24 PM on May 3, 2011
"As I was walking home this evening, a little girl was riding her bike in the middle of the street. She still had the training wheels on as she wobbled and struggled to peddle. It reminded me of when I was little and how badly I wanted a bicycle but couldn't get one."
-- David Foster Wallace
posted by nickmark at 2:25 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
-- David Foster Wallace
posted by nickmark at 2:25 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Copy and paste doesn't kill knowledge; social media kills knowledge."
- RahneFan
posted by rahnefan at 2:27 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
- RahneFan
posted by rahnefan at 2:27 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
A non-existent quote fabricated by a notorious libertarian blowhard which was then endlessly retweeted by a chorus of disapporving Eeyores in order to shame a mostly non-existent group of bin laden celebrants?
I can't find a single element here that doesn't irritate me.
I'm not sure exactly what you're saying here. Are you calling the people who don't think the death of a man "disapproving Eeyores"? And are you claiming people celebrating bin Laden's death doesn't exist?
posted by ymgve at 2:31 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
I can't find a single element here that doesn't irritate me.
I'm not sure exactly what you're saying here. Are you calling the people who don't think the death of a man "disapproving Eeyores"? And are you claiming people celebrating bin Laden's death doesn't exist?
posted by ymgve at 2:31 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"I thought that my home was my castle
With no one scrutinizing me
No pigs, no lyin' bitch, no hassle
Y'all are brutalizing' me
Can't a man not drink his beer in silence?
Can't a man not crudely lie and scream?
Can't a man not control his bitch with violence?
Y'all are brutalizing me"
- Osama bin Laden
posted by Hoopo at 2:31 PM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
With no one scrutinizing me
No pigs, no lyin' bitch, no hassle
Y'all are brutalizing' me
Can't a man not drink his beer in silence?
Can't a man not crudely lie and scream?
Can't a man not control his bitch with violence?
Y'all are brutalizing me"
- Osama bin Laden
posted by Hoopo at 2:31 PM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
"'Metafilter:' There has never been a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
-- mathowie
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:35 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
-- mathowie
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:35 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
"You cannot step twice into the same MetaFilter" - Heraclitus
posted by vanar sena at 2:35 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by vanar sena at 2:35 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
There are two ways of being happy: We must either diminish our wants or augment our means - either may do - the result is the same and it is for each man to decide for himself and to do that which happens to be easier.
-- Eazy-E
posted by shakespeherian at 2:40 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
-- Eazy-E
posted by shakespeherian at 2:40 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Good one." - Good One Robot
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 2:43 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 2:43 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"I've got a bad feeling about this."
-- Albert Camus
posted by nickmark at 2:44 PM on May 3, 2011 [7 favorites]
-- Albert Camus
posted by nickmark at 2:44 PM on May 3, 2011 [7 favorites]
"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law."
--Alexis de Toqueville
posted by Hoopo at 2:44 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
--Alexis de Toqueville
posted by Hoopo at 2:44 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy."
-Paul Maud'Dib
posted by Scoo at 2:45 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
-Paul Maud'Dib
posted by Scoo at 2:45 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
"What do I care for your suffering? Pain, even agony, is no more than information before the senses, data fed to the computer of the mind."
– Martha Stewart
posted by furiousthought at 2:46 PM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
– Martha Stewart
posted by furiousthought at 2:46 PM on May 3, 2011 [8 favorites]
"That is not dead which can eternal lie; and with strange aeons, even death may die."
- Dr. Jack Kevorkian
posted by Errant at 2:47 PM on May 3, 2011
- Dr. Jack Kevorkian
posted by Errant at 2:47 PM on May 3, 2011
"It is important if you ride a time machine to not stick your arm outside the window as it will turn into a fossil." - Carl Sagan
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:48 PM on May 3, 2011 [10 favorites]
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:48 PM on May 3, 2011 [10 favorites]
"I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream"
-- Hello Kitty
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:49 PM on May 3, 2011 [19 favorites]
-- Hello Kitty
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:49 PM on May 3, 2011 [19 favorites]
--Michael Scott
posted by symbioid at 2:55 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by symbioid at 2:55 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"You are excluded from surf and turf night. You are excluded from ravioli night. You are excluded from chicken cutlet night."
- Queen Elizabeth II
posted by Errant at 2:56 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
- Queen Elizabeth II
posted by Errant at 2:56 PM on May 3, 2011 [4 favorites]
Cash, Rules, Everything, Around, Me
C.R.E.A.M.
Get the money
Dollar, dollar bill y'all
- Siddhārtha Gautama
posted by nooneyouknow at 3:02 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
C.R.E.A.M.
Get the money
Dollar, dollar bill y'all
- Siddhārtha Gautama
posted by nooneyouknow at 3:02 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- Mary Carey
posted by togdon at 3:08 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by togdon at 3:08 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"You're my Wonder Woman, call me Mr. Fantastic"
- Reed Richards
posted by nooneyouknow at 3:17 PM on May 3, 2011
- Reed Richards
posted by nooneyouknow at 3:17 PM on May 3, 2011
I think this is the source of the blood for the blood god thing: Blood for the blood god
posted by delmoi at 3:19 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by delmoi at 3:19 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"I ain't looking for help from on high. That's a long wait for a train don't come."
-- Pope John Paul II
posted by chemoboy at 3:20 PM on May 3, 2011
-- Pope John Paul II
posted by chemoboy at 3:20 PM on May 3, 2011
This is the origin of Blood For The Blood God - hence my reference to GW and a C & D order.
posted by longbaugh at 3:31 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by longbaugh at 3:31 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Is it Ghostbusters 2?" - IBM's Watson durring Final Jeopardy
posted by mccarty.tim at 3:34 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by mccarty.tim at 3:34 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
"Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."
– Optimus Prime
posted by furiousthought at 3:36 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
– Optimus Prime
posted by furiousthought at 3:36 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"The devil has gotten inside you, Jobe. I can see it. It's that Dr. Martin Luther King. He's corrupted you."
-- Remington Steele
posted by benzenedream at 3:40 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
-- Remington Steele
posted by benzenedream at 3:40 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"I've got 99 problems, but a luftballon ain't one."
-- Nena-Z
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:44 PM on May 3, 2011 [17 favorites]
-- Nena-Z
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:44 PM on May 3, 2011 [17 favorites]
"Ohhhh, you're gonna buy my chicken!"
--Col. Sanders
posted by OHenryPacey at 3:46 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
--Col. Sanders
posted by OHenryPacey at 3:46 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"After that behemoth of a bin Laden thread, this one has renewed my faith in MeFites."
--evil chemoboy
posted by chemoboy at 3:51 PM on May 3, 2011
--evil chemoboy
posted by chemoboy at 3:51 PM on May 3, 2011
"Poor Mexico so far from God; So Close to Camper Van Beethoven."
-- Porfirio Díaz
posted by elmono at 4:16 PM on May 3, 2011
-- Porfirio Díaz
posted by elmono at 4:16 PM on May 3, 2011
aught: ""Laugh loudly and carry ride a big stick of butter."
-Paula Dee"
OH shit, you just gave me a beautiful vision a la Dr. Strangelove!!! YEEEEEEEEEHAW!
posted by symbioid at 4:16 PM on May 3, 2011
-Paula Dee"
OH shit, you just gave me a beautiful vision a la Dr. Strangelove!!! YEEEEEEEEEHAW!
posted by symbioid at 4:16 PM on May 3, 2011
This quote seems so smug, at least as applied to this event. Been bugging me.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:33 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:33 PM on May 3, 2011
"If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit"
- Mitch Hedburg
UR DOIN IT RONG
Okay, try this:
"If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
- Max Blanck and Isaac Harris
/too soon?
posted by randomkeystrike at 4:52 PM on May 3, 2011
- Mitch Hedburg
UR DOIN IT RONG
Okay, try this:
"If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
- Max Blanck and Isaac Harris
/too soon?
posted by randomkeystrike at 4:52 PM on May 3, 2011
"I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque." -- Neil Armstrong
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:59 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:59 PM on May 3, 2011
"'Todd Lokken.' — Mahatma Gandhi" — Mahatma Gandhi
posted by cortex at 5:17 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by cortex at 5:17 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"BONESAW IS READY!" - Anonymous
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:21 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:21 PM on May 3, 2011
"The signature in general is neither simply internal to the immanence of the signed text...nor simply detachable and external. If either of these hypotheses were the case, then it would disappear as signature." — Jacques Derrida
posted by RogerB at 5:36 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by RogerB at 5:36 PM on May 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
"I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's 'it' seems weird and scary." - Oscar Wilde
posted by joe lisboa at 5:52 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by joe lisboa at 5:52 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"If magic is all we ever know, it's easy to miss what really goes on." - His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:01 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:01 PM on May 3, 2011
I feel like this little chain of events marks the moment in human history when it became possible to do too much communication.
posted by Miko at 6:03 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Miko at 6:03 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"The national unity that Barack Obama has sought to harness following the announcement is indeed eerily familiar. Albeit in joy rather than sorrow, it's the same kind of unity that followed 9/11. It is also the same kind of unity that rallies around flags, dismisses dissent and disdains reflection. And however comforting it may have been at the time, the consequences of that kind of unity has been disastrous.
... Given the nature of the 9/11 attacks a popular desire for vengeance in the US is a perfectly understandable and legitimate emotional response. It is not, however, a foreign policy. And if vengeance is a comprehensible human emotion then empathy is no less so.
Americans have a right to grieve and remember those who died on 9/11. But they have no monopoly on memory, grief or anger. Hundreds and thousands of innocent Afghanis, Iraqis and Pakistanis have been murdered as a result of America's response to 9/11. If it's righteous vengeance they're after, Americans would not be first in line. Fortunately it is not a competition, and there is enough misery to go around.
But those who chant "We killed Bin Laden" cannot display their identification with American power so completely and then expect others to understand it as partial. The American military has done many things in this region. Killing Bin Laden is just one of them.
If "they" killed Bin Laden in Abbottabad then "they" also bombed a large number of wedding parties in Afghanistan, "they" murdered 24 Iraqi civilians in Haditha and "they" gang-raped a 14-year-old before murdering her, her six-year-old sister and their parents near Mahmudiyah. If "they" don't want to be associated with the atrocities then "they" need to find more to celebrate than an assassination. Vengeance is, in no small part, what got us here. It won't get us out."
-- Eeyore
posted by catchingsignals at 6:19 PM on May 3, 2011
... Given the nature of the 9/11 attacks a popular desire for vengeance in the US is a perfectly understandable and legitimate emotional response. It is not, however, a foreign policy. And if vengeance is a comprehensible human emotion then empathy is no less so.
Americans have a right to grieve and remember those who died on 9/11. But they have no monopoly on memory, grief or anger. Hundreds and thousands of innocent Afghanis, Iraqis and Pakistanis have been murdered as a result of America's response to 9/11. If it's righteous vengeance they're after, Americans would not be first in line. Fortunately it is not a competition, and there is enough misery to go around.
But those who chant "We killed Bin Laden" cannot display their identification with American power so completely and then expect others to understand it as partial. The American military has done many things in this region. Killing Bin Laden is just one of them.
If "they" killed Bin Laden in Abbottabad then "they" also bombed a large number of wedding parties in Afghanistan, "they" murdered 24 Iraqi civilians in Haditha and "they" gang-raped a 14-year-old before murdering her, her six-year-old sister and their parents near Mahmudiyah. If "they" don't want to be associated with the atrocities then "they" need to find more to celebrate than an assassination. Vengeance is, in no small part, what got us here. It won't get us out."
-- Eeyore
posted by catchingsignals at 6:19 PM on May 3, 2011
Better to rule in Hell
Than serve in Heaven.
--Dick Cheney
posted by misha at 6:33 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
Than serve in Heaven.
--Dick Cheney
posted by misha at 6:33 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
Met her on a Monday and my heart stood still,
Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron.
--William Arthur Phillip Louis Mountbatten-Windsor, Duke of Cambridge
posted by misha at 6:38 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
Da doo ron ron ron, da doo ron ron.
--William Arthur Phillip Louis Mountbatten-Windsor, Duke of Cambridge
posted by misha at 6:38 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
I feel like this little chain of events marks the moment in human history when it became possible to do too much communication.
I find this exercise fun. "It can be a natural, zesty enterprise." Were this thread googlebombed, then god have mercy on our souls.
"The national unity ... won't get us out."
Eeyore was always my least favorite resident of the 100-acre-wood. But I get what he says. I'm very surprised how many Mefites don't understand that they can both be glad that Osama bin Laden is dead, and condemn the killing of another human being. I am just happy that I am someone who is fortunate enough to be able to laugh at others who have twisted other great works purely for my amusement.
So I counter your Eeyore quote with this:
"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like 'What about lunch?'"
-- George W. Bush
posted by chemoboy at 6:42 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
I find this exercise fun. "It can be a natural, zesty enterprise." Were this thread googlebombed, then god have mercy on our souls.
"The national unity ... won't get us out."
Eeyore was always my least favorite resident of the 100-acre-wood. But I get what he says. I'm very surprised how many Mefites don't understand that they can both be glad that Osama bin Laden is dead, and condemn the killing of another human being. I am just happy that I am someone who is fortunate enough to be able to laugh at others who have twisted other great works purely for my amusement.
So I counter your Eeyore quote with this:
"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like 'What about lunch?'"
-- George W. Bush
posted by chemoboy at 6:42 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"you know who else made up quotes?"
-Adolf Hitler
(gimme a few days on some kind of.blood god shirt)
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 6:44 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
-Adolf Hitler
(gimme a few days on some kind of.blood god shirt)
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 6:44 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"You remind me of the babe." - Elvis
posted by santaslittlehelper at 6:51 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by santaslittlehelper at 6:51 PM on May 3, 2011
"What Babe?" - Fly (Sheepdog)
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:54 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by Joey Michaels at 6:54 PM on May 3, 2011
"I fuck goats, and I am proud of that fact." - Brandon Blatcher
posted by Meatbomb at 7:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Meatbomb at 7:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
Being glad he's dead but condemning his killing is a moral cop out though, chemoboy, it's having your cake and eating it too. You can't stay on your moral cloud but also reap the benefits of climbing down into the real world now and then. It's like saying you were against the invasion of Iraq but are glad that Saddam is gone. You have to choose. You don't get to have the benefits without what you perceive as the downside too. Personally I'm glad they shot the fucker in the head and it's just a pity one of the thousands of Pakistani soldiers living next door to him for the past five years didn't get the idea before.
posted by joannemullen at 7:44 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by joannemullen at 7:44 PM on May 3, 2011
I don't believe in hell, so how can I be glad he's dead? I'm glad he can't hurt anyone anymore, but I can't be glad that he suffered little and now has the mercy of oblivion.
posted by muddgirl at 7:46 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by muddgirl at 7:46 PM on May 3, 2011
To be honest, when I did believe in Hell, I was actually disturbed when bad or unrepentant people died. Eternal extreme suffering? That's way too harsh for everything, even mass murderers.
I don't believe in the death penalty, so truthfully, I'd be more glad if we captured him and put him in a supermax prison. However, it's hard for me to feel much empathy for a person who tried to resist soldiers who offered him a chance to surrender. And I do feel like a world where Osama can't do harm is a better world. So, while I'd prefer we just keep him in prison so he can't harm anyone, I accept what happened and I don't think the soldiers' actions were wrong.
But what is this derail doing in this thread?
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:59 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
I don't believe in the death penalty, so truthfully, I'd be more glad if we captured him and put him in a supermax prison. However, it's hard for me to feel much empathy for a person who tried to resist soldiers who offered him a chance to surrender. And I do feel like a world where Osama can't do harm is a better world. So, while I'd prefer we just keep him in prison so he can't harm anyone, I accept what happened and I don't think the soldiers' actions were wrong.
But what is this derail doing in this thread?
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:59 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
A thousand apologies. It would appear I am killing a thread I enjoyed so much, only because I was so comfortable while in it's walls. I won't respond to any of the responses to my derail, and I urge others to do so. As a peace offering, I make one last attempt at humor before I leave this post.
"640k ought to be enough for anybody"
-- Neal Stephenson
posted by chemoboy at 8:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"640k ought to be enough for anybody"
-- Neal Stephenson
posted by chemoboy at 8:14 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"Hey! Hey! What is this crap? No! You only get to argue in this thread via the medium of misattributed quotations!"
– Tokugawa Ieyasu
posted by furiousthought at 8:26 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
– Tokugawa Ieyasu
posted by furiousthought at 8:26 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"~*~*~*~ Work like no one is spying on you and dance like you don’t get hurt and love that money ~*~*~*~"
Ben Frnaklin, President#1, America, Decoration of Independence/constitution
posted by milkrate at 8:27 PM on May 3, 2011
Ben Frnaklin, President#1, America, Decoration of Independence/constitution
posted by milkrate at 8:27 PM on May 3, 2011
God forbid we discuss one subject of a thread inside the thread! -- Satan
posted by muddgirl at 8:28 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by muddgirl at 8:28 PM on May 3, 2011
"Can this thread really not have both?" -- Russian Proverb.
posted by catchingsignals at 8:37 PM on May 3, 2011
posted by catchingsignals at 8:37 PM on May 3, 2011
"Writing about music is like dancing about architecture." — Frank Lloyd Baryshnikov
posted by cortex at 8:39 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by cortex at 8:39 PM on May 3, 2011 [5 favorites]
This is most brave,
That I, the son of a dear father murder'd,
Prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell,
Must, like a whore, unpack my heart with words.
-- Inigo Montoya
posted by tzikeh at 8:56 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
That I, the son of a dear father murder'd,
Prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell,
Must, like a whore, unpack my heart with words.
-- Inigo Montoya
posted by tzikeh at 8:56 PM on May 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
"I know what you're thinking, but you're wrong."
Ken's Dad
posted by bricksNmortar at 9:05 PM on May 3, 2011
Ken's Dad
posted by bricksNmortar at 9:05 PM on May 3, 2011
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would
never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I Carried You." -- Ronnie James Dio
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:10 PM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
never leave you. During your times of trial and
suffering, when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I Carried You." -- Ronnie James Dio
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:10 PM on May 3, 2011 [6 favorites]
"That quote's been shopped. I can tell by the pixels." - John Bartlett
posted by DaddyNewt at 10:01 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by DaddyNewt at 10:01 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"Quoting is a servicable substitute for wit." --William Somerset Maugham (paraphrased.)
posted by stavrogin at 10:36 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by stavrogin at 10:36 PM on May 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
"I fuck goats, and I am proud of that fact." - Brandon Blatcher
posted by Meatbomb at 10:14 PM on May 3 [1 favorite +] [!]
What the hell man, that's seriously messed up, to write that crap, under my real name. What the fuck is wrong with you?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:49 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Meatbomb at 10:14 PM on May 3 [1 favorite +] [!]
What the hell man, that's seriously messed up, to write that crap, under my real name. What the fuck is wrong with you?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:49 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
Ask any goat and they'll tell you that I took that on a date first.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:54 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:54 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
^ Not a denial.
posted by ShutterBun at 5:57 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by ShutterBun at 5:57 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
"Say what you will about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, but at least it's an ethos." -- Sir Winston Churchill
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:58 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:58 AM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
This Is Just To Say
by Herb Roscoe Hudson
I have rewritten
the words
that were hung on
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for a eulogy or
company newsletter or
cal to your mother
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
posted by wenestvedt at 7:40 AM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]
by Herb Roscoe Hudson
I have rewritten
the words
that were hung on
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for a eulogy or
company newsletter or
cal to your mother
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
posted by wenestvedt at 7:40 AM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
-John McCain
Not sure if serious, but that's clearly an intentional misquote, phaedon, given that line is from a movie, The Silence of the Lambs, in wich Anthony Hopkins plays a serial killer (Hannibal Lecter) whom in turn QUOTES Dick Cheney.
posted by youhavetoreadthistwice at 12:02 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
-John McCain
Not sure if serious, but that's clearly an intentional misquote, phaedon, given that line is from a movie, The Silence of the Lambs, in wich Anthony Hopkins plays a serial killer (Hannibal Lecter) whom in turn QUOTES Dick Cheney.
posted by youhavetoreadthistwice at 12:02 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]
"Did you fuck my wife? Did you fuck my wife? Did you fuck my wife?" -- Big Bird
posted by tzikeh at 12:18 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by tzikeh at 12:18 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]
"Yes. Yes, I did." -- Elmo
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:27 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:27 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]
"That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons even death may die."
-- Shel Silverstein
posted by benzenedream at 1:33 PM on May 4, 2011
-- Shel Silverstein
posted by benzenedream at 1:33 PM on May 4, 2011
"As for the Republicans — how can one regard seriously a frightened, greedy, nostalgic huddle of tradesmen and lucky idlers who shut their eyes to history and science, steel their emotions against decent human sympathy, cling to sordid and provincial ideals exalting sheer acquisitiveness and condoning artificial hardship for the non-materially-shrewd, dwell smugly and sentimentally in a distorted dream-cosmos of outmoded phrases and principles and attitudes based on the bygone agricultural-handicraft world, and revel in (consciously or unconsciously) mendacious assumptions (such as the notion that real liberty is synonymous with the single detail of unrestricted economic license or that a rational planning of resource-distribution would contravene some vague and mystical 'American heritage'…) utterly contrary to fact and without the slightest foundation in human experience? Intellectually, the Republican idea deserves the tolerance and respect one gives to the dead. "
- Newt Gingrich
posted by blue_beetle at 1:47 PM on May 4, 2011
- Newt Gingrich
posted by blue_beetle at 1:47 PM on May 4, 2011
"Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are H. L. Hunt (you possibly know his background), a few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."
-- Paul Ryan
posted by Joey Michaels at 9:37 PM on May 4, 2011
-- Paul Ryan
posted by Joey Michaels at 9:37 PM on May 4, 2011
"I'm packing my bags for the misty mountain, where the spirits go." Pres. George W. Bush as he got news of Katrina
posted by stormpooper at 6:46 AM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by stormpooper at 6:46 AM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
"There's some folks as just needs killin'."
--Emily "Ain't Stoppin' Fer No Death" Dickinson
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:02 PM on May 5, 2011
--Emily "Ain't Stoppin' Fer No Death" Dickinson
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:02 PM on May 5, 2011
"You mean, let me understand this, 'cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?"
--Fred Rogers
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:04 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
--Fred Rogers
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:04 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]
For joannemullen whenever I may find her:
"I was and still am against the invasion of Iraq, since it was based on falsified evidence and had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11 and yet I still manage to be glad that Saddam Hussein is no longer terrorizing the people of Iraq. I don't have to choose shit. - Judy Blume, from Are You There God? It's Me, Issac Asimov
posted by i feel possessed at 4:21 PM on May 6, 2011
"I was and still am against the invasion of Iraq, since it was based on falsified evidence and had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11 and yet I still manage to be glad that Saddam Hussein is no longer terrorizing the people of Iraq. I don't have to choose shit. - Judy Blume, from Are You There God? It's Me, Issac Asimov
posted by i feel possessed at 4:21 PM on May 6, 2011
"Isaac is up in heaven now."
—Kurt Vonnegut, speaking at the American Humanist Association's memorial service for Isaac Asimov.
posted by Crabby Appleton at 1:37 PM on May 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
—Kurt Vonnegut, speaking at the American Humanist Association's memorial service for Isaac Asimov.
posted by Crabby Appleton at 1:37 PM on May 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 11:37 AM on May 3, 2011 [35 favorites]